Rill was conflicted as she read the news report.
One the one hand, it wasn't good that AVALANCHE had attacked Shinra employees.
On the other, Hojo was injured and would be out of commission for several months. The tense humming that had always been flirting on the edge of her conscious had eased into something more serene now and it was a weight off of her shoulders that she hadn't even been aware she was carrying.
Tseng came by. Aeris informed her. He asked me to come in again... Rill breathed out through her nose. She already knew what her cousin would have said.
And?
I said no. He knows why. He's just trying to keep me from being brought in against my will. People had been trying to persuade Aeris to come willingly to Shinra for the last six years. It likely would have been happening much earlier, but some few moral individuals had protested this action against a child. The initial attempts had been much more dramatic, more like posturing and threats. It had involved Elmyra chasing the offenders off of her property with a rolling pin for trying to pressure a child. The Turk were unwilling to to take any action against the protective mother since it would only damage Aeris' amiability. Then Tseng had been put in charge of her security and he had changed tac, opting for a more persuasive method, which was much preferred by all parties.
She thanked the Goddess every day that people still assumed that Rill's relation to the family was to Elmyra and not Aeris. Otherwise, she'd be getting visitors into the office, inviting her down to the Science Department for a mandatory exam.
He's a good friend. Rill mused to her cousin, regarding the part Wutian.
Mmhm. I'd say you and Reno are closer though. She glanced at the couch in her office, currently being occupied by the lanky, completely unconscious Turk.
He stole her food, and Sephiroth's, just for the thrill of being chased. He liked to see if he could fly the helicopter upside down or in loop de loops, or blindfolded. He had a personal record distance of squirting milk out of his nose. He liked to crawl around in the spacious Shinra air ducts and had on multiple occasions fallen asleep within them. He was almost the sole accomplice whenever Zack did something bizarre and he had a list of 427 specific items, and 24 general categories, that he was forbidden from using, touching or even looking at under any but the most extreme of circumstances.
He was someone who was always ready to come to her defense without reservation. He was a slum kid, like her, who knew where she had come from. He taught her basic self defense, even though his only technical job was to be her bodyguard. He was funny even if he was a pain in the butt sometimes.
I guess so. He was kinda like a brother she had never had. The super annoying, teeth grinding one that took stupid dares and tried to drag you into every scheme he got up to because it would be more fun with you.
Are you ever gonna tell him about being a Cetra? Aeris inquired. I really think he'd keep it quiet and not care one way or the other. Rill had considered letting Reno in on her secret. But it was almost second nature to keep her heritage a secret. It was something precious and dangerous considering the present climate.
I...No. She decided ultimately. If that were to happen, it would be his job to bring me in if I were every discovered. And I don't want to put him in that position. While she knew he wouldn't just cuff her and haul her in, Rill wasn't sure if Reno would let her go or just give her a head start...
Don't be so negative! Aeris scolded. The impression I got from meeting him with you, and from the Planet is that he's more likely to stuff you in a barrel somewhere, report that he never saw you, then smuggle you out on a chocobo transport or in a circus!
The circus is definitely the more likely option. Ever since the 'King of Clowns' incident, they've been begging Shinra to lease him out to them. I think the ringmaster would marry him to his daughter if he thought it would get Reno to join up permanently. Now, I do need to work, cuz...
Of course, of course! Go save the world, one file at a time. See you later!
While speaking with Aeris was a pleasant distraction, the casualty reports from AVALANCHE's attack still needed to be sorted...
More people than just Hojo had been injured, and Rill had to adapt the daily roster to account for the absences.
-vVv-
Security skyrocketed after the Midwinter Assault. New passwords, new key cards and identification.
"I've arranged for you to receive a master key." Rufus informed Rill over the phone when she wasn't able to dodge his call any longer.
"Why would I need one?" She asked. "I'm running one department, not-"
"Nerilka, please." Rufus cut her off with a long-suffering tone. "You are one of the greatest non-combat assets Shinra has ever possessed. You have more than earned a master key." Rill examined the super durable piece of computerized plastic, choosing to ignore him using her name. She had concluded that keeping Rufus at a professional distance was not possible, but was determined to keep him at arm's length. At gunpoint if needed.
"Basic tracking chip or GPS?" She asked, running her fingers over what she held.
"GPS, with a minor medical scanner to detect any abnormalities in your day to day function. The company might implode if you took an unexpected sick day." Rill hummed.
"Super reinforced, waterproof and designed to withstand heat and electric discharge?"
"Given your association with SOLDIER Fair and the fact that AVALANCHE has targeted you before, it was decided that having it be as sturdy as could be made was in everyone's best interest." Rill flicked the card with her finger, producing a sharp tap.
"Is this bullet proof?"
"I am not at liberty to say if that was ever tested. But rumor claims that it can and has withstood several shotgun shells at long to mid range." She rolled her eyes.
"Very good, Mr Vice President. Will there be anything else?" She asked in a dryly mocking tone.
"Be a dear and pick up Dark Nation from the groomer for me, darling? You know how antsy our boy gets when he hasn't seen you in a while~." Rufus's crooning tone made her gag and shudder.
"If you were going for unsettling, that's the way to do to it. Good day to you too."
-vVv-
Rill frowned as she scanned the report.
"SOlDIER's Crus and Michaels are late in reporting back." She informed Sephiroth. Something was itching it's way up her spine as she drummed her fingers on the desk.
"How long have they been out of contact?" The General asked cooly.
"Two hours since they were deemed missing." She replied. "Their commanding officer has requested backup. Both of them were 2nd Class and creeping towards the cut off for 1st."
"Who's being flown out to investigate?"
"On book? 1st Class Raith and his squad." Sephiroth turned and eyed her with a raised brow.
"And off book?" Rill flipped open her phone and checked her messages.
"Veld has called in a favor with an ex Turk."
"Codename?"
"Legend." If Veld had called in Terrence Jackson, AKA 'The Grim Reaper', from his retirement, then he must have suspected something was going to go bad very quickly. The explosives expert was the most reliable Turk operative ever since Veld retired from field work.
"Put an unofficial addendum on Raith's orders, he is to assist Legend however he can." Rill typed the instructions and sent it with a few practiced movements. She rose and sighed, examining the names of the missing SOLDIERs with regret.
Essai Crus and Sebastian Michals. Both were friends of Zack. They had been in his entrance group and they had remained in touch even after Zack was fast tracked to 1st through his apprenticeship to Angeal. It would hurt him deeply to hear that they were gone...
I don't even know if- Rill stopped herself and reevaluated why she had concluded that the pair was dead...
She listened and could hear, in the back of her mind, the Planet mourning two of her children quietly. What happened? Rill asked, straining to try and discern the nuances of the answer.
Stolen. Gone. Twisted. Not mine. Not anymore. 'Not mine anymore'... The only thing that made the Planet think like that about anyone was if they had lost their humanity. If they had been corrupted by Jenova.
Not if they were dead.
If they had died then the Planet would be welcoming them back to her.
No, something else had gone wrong as well...
But what?
AVALANCHE didn't have access to Jenova, thankfully, and Hojo was still recovering from his injury from a few weeks back...
Rill's breath hitched as she remembered.
Men's faces, twisted in animalistic snarls. Inhuman shrieks and roars as they charged at her, heedless of any danger in their way, including the long, razor edged blade of Masamune.
The soft utterances of the Planet that Rill couldn't hear past her own panic, fear and shock.
Gone. Gone. Not mine...
A hand on her shoulder made Rill come back to her senses.
"Rill?"
"I'm fine. Just thought of something." She turned and scrolled through the past reports of AVALANCHE's activity in Icicle Inn. Something that had caused an outpost to be sent there at all...
"What is it?" She couldn't find it and it was bothersome to have Sephiroth leaning over her shoulder like that! It was distracting, darn it!
"My gut says that Crus and Michaels aren't dead, but at the same time, I cannot make myself believe that they are safe either." She informed Sephiroth, feeling for the gut instinct that she was getting in response to the Planet's murmurs. "There was something in the area that AVALANCHE was doing that came up on our radar. Something we thought needed to be watched, what was it?"
"Here." Sephiroth's hand covered hers and stopped her scrolling through older reports. "Signs of moderate troop activity. 20-40 enemy units. Relatively fresh, but no open trace found and the locals were either unwilling to tell, or didn't know. The Turks who scouted it out believed that there was a training facility hidden somewhere nearby." Rill's heart lurched.
"That's it..." She mused. "Crus and Michals must have been captured. But why would they have a training facility in a community as small as Icicle Inn? It's all but guaranteed that their movements would be detected."
"Perhaps there was some other reason for their choice of location." Sephiroth's voice was sounding just over her head as Rill tried to make her brain work faster.
"Like what though? It's a tourist spot for those who like snowboarding and skiing. The only other thing up there besides the resorts scattered about are hunting cabins..."
"There are empty Mako chambers within the mountains, and almost all of them are connected, forming a large network of navigable tunnels. The largest of these would be large enough to house upwards of a hundred men and enough supplies to sustain them. The lingering radiation would be problematic though-" Rill blinked, her mind making a connection in a bright flash.
The maddened men.
Their behavior was similar to those souls who were subjected to a SOLDIER treatment but reacted poorly. Until their systems were scrubbed clean, they were irrational, highly aggressive and unbelievably strong.
Dangers of radiation.
SOLDIER's were primarily sent to investigate the interior of Mako reactors in case of an emergency, for one, because of the chance of monsters having spawned or mutated from the Mako, but also because of lingering radiation. Given that they were internally housing their own supply of the stuff, SOLDIER's were highly resistant to Mako poisoning.
AVALANCHE is making their own variant of SOLDIER. Rill realized. Her mind flipped back to the most recent targets of AVALANCHE attacks.
Mako reactors had been attacked, and critical parts carefully destroyed but the most damage was always in the labs that were attached to it, to monitor and verify the purity of the Mako and it's effects of the surrounding wildlife. Then in Shinra tower itself, there had been multiple hits, but one of them had been the Research and Development center as well as Hojo's personal lab. Now they went after Hojo himself, and everyone knew that there was some information that he didn't trust to computers or other people. That he only carried on himself...
Everything was pointing towards AVALANCHE deciding to go for effectiveness over moral standing. They were making their own SOLDIER using the very methods that they condemned Shinra for using.
What's more, they were at least partially succeeding.
-vVv-
Nearly a week later, Sephiroth listened as Rill read the report of recent findings in Icicle Inn.
His hunch about the Mako caverns was correct. Fuhito was using the still active chambers as treatment plants for his troops, 'Ravens' according to the files that they had found. The non Mako saturated chambers housed the staff who monitored the recruits and administered treatment and oversaw the brutal training regime.
It wasn't a large lab. They had only found about 15 Ravens in various stages of development held within. SOLDIER's Crus and Michaels had been among them. They hadn't been completely gone when rescuers arrived, but they had eventually succumbed and lost their minds, forcing the ex-Turk to put them down.
The lab had been destroyed along with most of the evidence that would have helped them work out the exact details of how and where the Raven's serum differed from a SOLDIER's'. Veld was taking the blame for the failed mission, since they had only come away with minimal new knowledge. Heidegger was now in command of the Turks. Veld was back to being a field operative and a disgraced one at that if one believed the press.
The outrage from his department should have been shaking the company from the top down. The fact that it wasn't told Rill that Heidegger commanded exactly as many of the Turks as he currently had line of sight on.
But despite the attempts by AVALANCHE to erase all information, there was much more information that could be salvaged than most people had thought.
But not from his fallen men. Crus and Michals were being held as KIA. Sephiroth refused to have their bodies dissected by Hojo's underlings.
No, this had come from the various traces of Mako that they had been able to artificially force into materia. Once someone with the appropriate skill slotted these crystals, they were able to provide a general playback of what went on inside the caverns.
Each batch of would-be Ravens underwent significant mental training. They were implanted with psychological triggers that would induce various responses, and one stimuli that would deactivate them completely, rendering them all but harmless.
It was like looking through a place meant for training pit dogs instead of SOLDIERs. They were churning out animals, not troops.
Sephiroth retained a clinical detachment to the whole affair, making mental notes occasionally but he noticed that Rill's hands were trembling slightly as she continued to read, skipping, summarizing where necessary. Her eyes were dark and flat, indicating that she was controlling herself to the utmost degree. And that meant that this was hitting her a lot harder than she was willing to show him, even now.
Why are you always so determined to hide? He wondered. I know you. I've seen you among those you love. I've seen you cry and be angry. What are you hiding from me even now? The thought that she had something she wanted to keep hidden was something that he could respect. Intellectually at least.
But his intellect was having less and less say in how he interacted with Rill nowadays.
The shift was subtle. But he could, reflecting over the last four months since he had given her Griffin, notice that he was initiating casual touch a lot more often. That was the biggest sign he had noticed. But if he went through his thought patterns, he noticed a similar trend. When he thought of Rill now, the label of 'secretary' and 'work-related' were now very far towards the bottom of things he associated with her. They had been replaced by 'trusted', 'liked' and 'friend'. Or at least he thought that was what they were. Somehow, the words seemed woefully inadequate. No matter how much time he put towards trying to pin their accurate definitions down, they always eluded him.
He placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Rill?" Her eyes were glassy.
"I'm ok."
"No you're not." At least he could tell if she was lying much more easily now that he had been able to observe and interact with her family for comparison's sake.
She let out a short, mirthless laugh.
"Fine then, you're right. But I'll get through it." She looked up at him with a spark of morbid amusement in her smile. "I sometimes envy you your ability to divorce from your feelings." Her candid words were a stark contrast to the abrupt sensation of a small scale electric shock that jolted through him at seeing her smile.
No. Control it.
"I'm good at pretending, Rill. I still feel." Likely she was bothered by the findings in Icicle Inn. She was the empathic sort to feel some kind of phantom discomfort at the mere recounting of pain. It was a trait she shared with her family too, particularly Aeris. Sephiroth had initially thought it was a fundamental difference between men and women. That women were more attuned to that kind of communication. But something Emma had said once in conversation...
"Did you know that a lot of people think Rill's eyes are unsettling?" Sephiroth was surprised to hear that.
"I did not." He found it somewhat ludicrous that that was the case. Rill's eyes were blue. A blue that was caught between the soothing, calm darkness of navy and the bold richness of azure. There was knowing and understanding in her gaze, amusement, affection and occasionally mischief. Which in turn inspired ease, comfort and awe from him. But he found nothing even remotely unsettling about them.
"Something about her 'seeing into their soul'. Do you get the same feeling?" Sephiroth considered this for a brief instant, giving it all the attention he felt it needed.
"Constantly. But I find it reassuring and inspiring rather than concerning in any way." He paused... "Why would some people not find it such?" Seeing events from another person's perspective was something that Rill had cited as her greatest strength in dealing with the day to day hassle of keeping everyone under her care safe and well.
The blond Turk absorbed his question for awhile before she answered slowly.
"I guess...because everyone has something that they want to hide. That they would do anything to keep people from noticing. As in, if someone found out about it, it would destroy their opinion of them forever. And Rill has this air around her that tells you: 'I know what you did last night' without her needing to say anything. It scares people to have someone have that kind of power over you."
Was that how he felt? Sephiroth considered this for only a brief time.
The typical reactions to such a threat would be hyper awareness of their presence, perhaps occasional shivers and a penchant to try and listen to every word that they said. All of which he did in regards to Rill.
No. That wasn't right. Not even close.
All of those symptoms were negative. But he could hardly think that Rill inspired a negative reaction in him.
"Feelings? Like what then?" Rill asked, curiosity entering her gaze. "I know you well enough by now to say that while you most certainly have feelings, you don't understand them that well." Her eyes seemed to go on forever. He only got this feeling of being small and vulnerable when he looked into an open, clear night sky. Was this what it like to be suckerpunched? Sephiroth had never experienced having the breath knocked out of him before, but this was certainly what he imagined it was like.
Did he truly not understand his feelings? He was considered to be the peak of the human male. Strong, swift, intelligent. He wouldn't have considered this lack a flaw two years ago. But now he couldn't convince himself that it was alright to go through life not understanding himself fully.
She's been right with just about everything else after all.
"Hello? Gaia to Sephiroth?" She was reaching up and waving a delicate hand in front of his eyes. "Did I break you? A comment on your emotional state, and you zone out, seriously?"
"I'm all right. You just...made me think."
He looked down at Rill, carefully analyzing everything that went through his mind. Everything that he could recognize at least.
She was small. Topping out at 5 feet, 3 and 3/4's of an inch. And compared to his battle shaped physique, she was petite. He had seen her struggle to reach some higher items. At work, she would have someone else reach for it to preserve her image of being calm and contained. At home or in a comfortable setting, she was more likely to glower at what she wanted for having the nerve to be out of her reach, then climb the shelf to get it.
Protectiveness. It was unacceptable for her to ever come to harm. Fondness. Amusement.
At home. She was a completely different person. More of a hellion than he would have ever imagined upon first meeting her and hiring her as a personal secretary. She would short sheet her cousin's' bed, balance a cup of water on a door to have it fall on the next person who passed through, spray someone with a hose if she thought they were being too serious, and was generally fearless in the face of what would make other women cringe.
The amusement was stronger. Now it was outright laughter.
The soft smile she always wore in the presence of her loved ones. Her somewhat bemused smile whenever she dealt with Zack or Reno's antics, the quizzical angle of her head. The endless, star touched distance of her eyes.
Awe. Admiration. There was nothing in the world as lovely as Rill.
And around all of that, there was bitter, endless self deprecation at the times when he hadn't been vigilant enough to keep her safe and happy. Sadness for the times when she had grieved for Genesis or the men who would never come back from a battlefield. Elation at being allowed to be a part of her family. Sour irritation at the times when someone's gaze would linger a little too long on her form. Desolate, absolute emptiness whenever he wondered what his life would be like if he hadn't noticed her when she came to put Scarlet in her place...
I think I am in over my head. Sephiroth concluded as he forced himself to detach from his emotions before they became too much for him to handle. (He wasn't sure what he would do if they ever became overwhelming, but he didn't want Rill to see him in that state...)
As Rill finished the report, Sephiroth decided that he needed to have someone guide him through the nuances of his emotions.
Just...not Rill.
She would do her best to help, to be sure. But her presence would be...counterproductive if this event held any long term value. She seemed to be the primary center of all his feelings, having her around was...Thrilling? Wonderful? Just...good? Definitely positive, whatever it is.
Either way, he needed someone to help him through this and Rill was not an option. Which posed a problem as the list of people he would trust to help him through this without trying to manipulate him in some way was rather...short.
Zack would be intolerable if he thought I needed help in this matter, and he would tell Reno. Ugh. Cloud...? A possibility. But he didn't like the idea of exposing such a weakness to the boy, even if he was growing to trust and like him more and more with every time that they interacted. Have to remember to inform Rill to look for his reapplication for SOLDIER. (Not that the young infantry knew that he would be reapplying. But Sephiroth hadn't put in so much work for the blonde not to get the time to fully come into himself as a swordsman. He was getting to be quite good and Sephiroth was considering finding some complimentary blades for him to dual wield.)
That left only two. And Sephiroth thought there was some promise in these.
Elmyra and Aeris. Two people who had watched Rill grow up and been raised alongside her respectively.
Perfect.
-vVv-
Aeris heard the moment something changed.
The ever present song on the Planet in the back of her mind burst into the opening bars of an entirely new theme. One that was...similar to something she had heard before.
It's like when Genesis realized he loved her. Aeris held her breath, listening with all her might.
Genesis's affection was edging Rill out of her comfort zone and not in a good way. While the emotion was real, he was...he was going too far. The Goddess wanted her noble champion back and Jenova was twisting that one good thing, trying to make him fall completely by using the one reason he had to remain sane. Because the Calamity was just that sort of being. Cruel and spiteful enough to use what was good for her own selfish, destructive purposes.
Who had just fallen in love with her cousin? And not just a minor little attraction, but complete, perfect and faithful adoration.
She got snatches of potential for Rill from many people. Her redheaded Turk bodyguard, for one. And...Zack.
Aeris squashed the current of jealousy that rose up inside her.
He had a relationship with her long before he ever even saw me. And she wasn't and still isn't interested. He could tell that, so he never tried to go further. It didn't change the fact that it wasn't especially good for her confidence to know that her boyfriend once had a crush on her more responsible, outgoing and witty sister.
But this wasn't just potential; it was an anthem of determined dedication. There would be no ending to this. It had happened and there was no going back. Ever.
It was always there, daughter. You just could never hear it until it went past the point of no return. The Planet's voice was a barely there whisper of thought. It hardly seemed to form words in her mind, more like it spoke these feelings into her heart, like previously hidden seeds blooming in response to a ray of sunlight.
Who is it? Aeris prayed, bowing her head over the iris's that edged their yard and surrounding the seedling trees she had caused to sprout. Who could help her not be so lonely...?
You already know. The young Cetra's eyes opened.
General Sephiroth. The imposing man with slightly terrifying reputation who had become a part of their family.
Sephiroth. The grown man who stole cookies like a six year old, who delighted in giving the three women extraordinarily extravagant gifts.
So he had finally realized how he felt...And being that kind of person, once he loved someone, there would be no regressing to mere friendship again.
He would be coming down to their home soon, confused as to what he was feeling and seeking some identification for it, but unable to use his preferred method of discerning the innermost workings of his mind because she was the source of his problem.
Aeris knew instinctively that getting together with Sephiroth would probably be the single best thing that ever happened to Rill. They already worked so well together, playing off of each other's strengths and covering the other's weaknesses almost without a conscious thought. Both had respected each other for a long time before they even became friends. In all honesty, not much about their day to day interaction would change by them actually becoming a couple.
Besides Sephiroth having the right to impale guys who hit on Rill in the street, owning a key to her apartment, and the actual romantic portion.
But Rill was too afraid to let anything come from that.
Aeris recalled the vision that her cousin had seen, been sent by the Planet with an iron clad certainty: If she got into a romantic relationship, Aeris would die. She had first seen it as she approached puberty, thus she had sworn off any and all males from day one. The flower girl gently eased her fist open, murmuring an apology to the flower stem she had accidentally crushed.
It didn't seem fair.
Rill had already given and sacrificed so much for Aeris' sake.
She had somehow made her way across the continent to Midgar on the off chance of finding her. Alone, when she was barely six years old after being orphaned. She had been there with her endless curiosity and steady courage, willing to reach out to the Planet on blind faith where Aeris had only ever gazed around her in fear. She had always been the one to wander and venture into places that no sane person would go into. 'Living for both of them' she had always said. Bitterly accurate since neither of the girls considered being under watch the way they were only a half life. They did determine very early on though, around the time when someone had come to try and take Rill away, that people had no idea that Rill was related to Aeris directly and not Elmyra as everyone had assumed.
The woman who had recently lost her husband stepped up and boldly claimed Rill as her family, and fought tooth and nail to keep her in their home. Eventually, people concluded that it wasn't worth the struggle, and Rill was left in the Gainsborough household until she grew to maturity.
They had gotten an education above the general academic schooling in Sector 5 because of Rill's insatiable curiosity. It was their favorite game, to try and find where the Turks had stationed the daily guard, and if they managed to spot them, they would be taught something new. It allowed for a much wider education than most of their peers received. It was from these few tentative friends that Rill and Aeris first learned how to use materia, and later how Rill managed to find gainful employment within Shinra when she was technically still underage.
She had willingly gone into the place that was looming in Aeris' future as an inevitable prison, to try and find some way of changing the coming events that she had felt coming. Because the people who would change the fate of the Planet were part of the very company that was responsible for hurting it so badly.
Aeris hadn't been privy to Rill's thoughts about who she was going to try and change or save, but she had felt when she met them who was important to the coming conflict with the Calamity.
Sephiroth had always had an eerie song around him when Aeris first met him, sitting worriedly by her cousin/sister's bedside and gently coaxing water her to drink some water in a semi delirious state. It had jarred her at first to see the handsome SOLDIER regard Rill with such tenderness.
It had taken all of three hours for Aeris to ship it wholeheartedly.
It had broken her heart when she realized exactly why Rill was avoiding romantic entanglements.
Rill... All of us are going to die someday, it's the one thing we can never change.
Don't chase away those you love. Why should I be happy at your expense?