The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy
By Winter Knight
Chapter 25: "NERGAL JR.! SON OF NERGAL AND… cousin of Ed?"
A/N: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy nor "That Grim Show" but the OCs are mine.
Also I REALLY want to apologize to my fans for Chapter 23: Skull Baseball, it was supposed to be a filler Joke but it horribly backfired.
Grim Ed fact: I actually think "Shock Treatment" is the official Sequel to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"... I just said that randomly and yes those are my favorite musicals other than "Forbidden Zone" for they have been mentioned in my previous chapters a couple times.
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Two weeks after the incident involving Sayo-chan, Eddy goes back to school and to his surprise, he sees the Kimono Sisters in Sailor outfits and Ryoko glomps him, and then Kevin gets jealous and realizes that he isn't wearing pants and everyone laughs at him because he's actually wearing Rainbow Monkey underwear and...
"IT WAS ALL A DREAM!" Shouted a very annoyed Eddy, who just woke up. Eddy then says, "Well it was alot better than the time I dreamed about being in a hot tub with Victoria Silvstedt... but she turned out to be Ember in disguise and blasted me with her guitar. I need to dream like a normal guy my age" and so Eddy pulls out a magazine for "research".
The next morning, Eddy was getting his supplies ready for school and scamming. But then he sees three girls walk by in Sailor uniforms and Eddy says "NAH! I was probably "studying" so much last night that I'm starting to see things." and Double D says "Well Eddy, the only thing you study in your books is Jenna Jameson's cup size...GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!"
Eddy then says "It's not my fault, the author likes to exaggerate my pervness that was hinted on the show to the max.. back me up Lumpy!" and then Ed opens his locker and he sees a robot boy covered in cobwebs and he says to Eddy and Double D "So THAT'S whatever happened to Robot Jones!" and then Double D says "O...kay...Ed." and while they walked to class Eddy says "I still say that the principal on that Robot show looks like Hitler..."
Meanwhile, outside the school, an egg with glasses and with a teddy bear rises from the ground and looks around, he has a note that reads:
"Dear Junior,
I hope Junior High will make you an upstanding half demon on the face of civilization, be sure to make some friends and if you need anything, ask for you cousins Ed and Sara, here are their photos so you'll know what they look like.
Do us proud my boy!
Father (Nergal) and Mother (Aunt Sis)"
Junior then sees a school catalog and when he sees an image of a nerdy looking kid, he hatches from his egg, takes on the kid's form, and enters the school.
When they go to first period, the Eds see the three girls in the Sailor uniforms again and then Principal Von Ghoulish appears in their classroom and introduces them to class. When the girls turn around, they are revealed to be the Kimono sisters Ryoko, Hikari, and Kasumi. Hikari tell the class Yes, we decided to move back to Peach Creek...permanently for very personal reasons." and they point at the 3 Eds who are blushing heavily.
Kevin suddenly runs to the classroom without pants on and then Eddy says "wow! My dream has came true!" and then Kevin says "SHUT UP DORK! I just lost my pants due to a bizarre incident involving a beaver and miniature Taxicab. and then Ryoko strides up to Kevin and says "WHAT DID YOU CALL MY MAN!" and Kevin in fear says "hey, haven't I seen you on TV before?" and then Ryoko says "ANSWER MY QUESTION!" and then Kevin looks so terrified he slips on his own "puddle" and then runs from the classroom in fear."
After first period was over, the Eds were surrounded by May (who is trying not to let the sisters find out about her friendship with the Eds), Lee and Marie Kanker and Lee tells them "you know about those new girls in class? Well I don't like the looks they made at you, perhaps we'll convince them to change their taste in men...(Marie and Lee laugh)" and then the 3 are about to approach the Kimonos, Marie and Lee get abducted by a pair of tentacles in the locker room and May saw the whole thing and runs away screaming.
Ed then worries about Kasumi because she can't fight and then he bumps into May and he says "AAAH! KANKER! I'LL SAVE YOU KASUMI! And then May says "NO ED! IT'S ME!" and then Ed says "Me who?" and May says "It's the only Kanker who has feelings...anyway there appears to be a monster in the school and it took my sisters" and then Ed looks blankly for a few minutes and says "COOL! I gotta get my monster net and a 6 pack of GRAVY!" Then May is tapped on the shoulder and sees Kasumi and Kasumi says "ohayo May, how are you and Ed?" and then May replies "Hi Kasumi, your boyfriend is out hunting for a monster that just took my sisters and...Is that your sister pounding her fists in a threatening way?" and then Kasumi says "oh my! I think she still has a grudge against those who tormented her boyfriend...but I hope Ed-kun finds that bakemono" and so with a smile she walks away while Ryoko goes after May.
Junior takes on the form of Lee and stands in the way of May and says, "hello blue haired girl, have you seen this boy?" and then Ryoko says "you're the one who fights my man you freak!" and she lands several punches towards Junior (in Lee's form) who then walks off.
Eddy then says I can't believe it Sockhead! THE KIMONOS ARE HERE! Well I guess it's back to scamming for jawbreakers once again!" and then Eddy goes up to Ryoko who is wearing glasses and as Eddy says "Great! Now that you're here, let's play "tonsil hockey!" and then Ryoko (who is actually Junior) punches Eddy and says "GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!" and walks off. Double D smirks and says, "That's what happens when you have a filthy mind!" and then Eddy says, "Shut up Sockhead! I'm gonna go scam Jimmy and Sarah before second period starts."
Junior then assumes the form of Jimmy and gets tripped on my Kevin whom is wearing pants made out of newspapers and he says "Got Ya Fluffy! Haw haw haw!" and then Kevin turns around, sees something no one wants to see and Kevin in a frightened tone says, "I got to learn to stop being such a dork...AAAAAHHHHHH!"
Eddy was about to scam Jimmy and Sarah with his "gashapon" scam but then Sarah runs towards Eddy and she says "Oh it's you! Well mister I got one very important question I got to ask... have you seen Jimmy?" and Eddy says "no I haven't but maybe for a small price, Ed would (sees Ed running with his monster catching gear) nevermind!" and after Sarah walks away. He sees Kevin (Junior) and he says, "Hiya Dude, have you seen this kid anywhere? I mean we're like friends!" and then Eddy smirks and says "I know you're not Kevin...oh sure Kevin talks like that but... (Points at the imposter) YOU WENT THROUGH ONE SENTANCE WITHOUT SAYING THE WORD DORK!!!" and then Junior gets furious and tries to catch Eddy with his tentacles while asking him "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY!" and Eddy manages to slip away while calling him a "freak!" But Junior managed to tear off Eddy's clothes by accident with his tentacles.
As Hikari and Sarah look for Jimmy and Ryoko, Double D, Kasumi, Nazz, May, Lizzy, and Johnny also join her on her search and then they see Eddy "streaking" while screaming "KEVIN'S A MONSTER! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" and then Nazz yells "DUDE! THAT IS UNCOOL!" Double D then says, "This is the fourth time this week he's done this!" Lizzy says "I can see his little elephant!" and Sarah giggles and says "His elephant is Tiny!" and the girls giggled at the thought but Double D tells them to continue the search.
But It was too late for second period started and Double D see 2 boys trading lunches and then they looked behind them, it was Rolf and Fred Fredburger. Double D says "umm Fred, why are you in school?" and Fred replies "well my brain isn't like working and I like, need more smarts, YES! plus I made a new friend!" and Rolf says "well friend of lumpy Ed boy, perhaps I trade you slab of sausage for nachos, yes?" and then Fred says "YES!" and then Rolf says "yes!" and then Fred says "YES!" and the keeps up for 5 minutes and then Hikari says "umm have you two seen our friends and my sister?" and Rolf looks at Hikari and says "who are you cute smart girl?" and Hikari says "I'm Hikari Kimono, the new student of the school and Double D's boyfriend." and Rolf says "Double D is indeed the murderer of women yes?" and Hikari says "you mean "Lady-killer"! Just what country are you from where as me and my sisters are from Japan"
And before Rolf can say anything, Ed shows up with his monster hunting gear and so does Eddy wearing nothing but a barrel. During class, a figure that looks like Kevin appears but is wearing glasses and holding a teddy bear and then Johnny laughs at him because he's wearing glasses and carrying a teddy bear. He says "talk about a hypocrite, you like to insult "dorks" but now you look like one!" and then Lizzy says, "You know I never liked Kevin because he's a "boogerhead" but I think I'll laugh too" and so they laugh at "Kevin", making him very annoyed and angry.
This makes Eddy nervous because of earlier but then he suddenly sees "Kevin's" teddy bear and thinks "where have I seen that bear before?" and he has a flashback that looks grainy, Eddy was in a basement where Double D shows up dressed as Dr. Frank N. Furter in his lab coat and he slams Eddy into a pinball machine. After Double D puts on his gloves, he tells him "GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!" and slaps him.
Eddy then says angrily, "HEY! THAT NEVER HAPPENED! THIS DID!" and he remembers when he was "Santa Eddy" he delivered a teddy bear named "Mr. Bonkers to a strange egg with glasses in the center of the earth. And Eddy thinks "yeah, that did happen, and I never forgot the pain that magical suit did to my "Lil Eddy!"
Then came Lunch and while Fred and Rolf happily are eating their lunches, they notice that Lizzy is wearing glasses and Fred smells her and he says "HEY! YOU'RE NOT LIZZY! YOU'R..." and then "Lizzy" snatches Fred and Rolf for being a witness, but not long before it sees Ed walking towards Kasumi and he tells her "I'm so happy to see you Kasumi! But my friends and baby sister's friends are disappearing like money in Eddy's wallet." and then Kasumi says, "Don't worry Ed-kun! I'll tell you if I see anything happening." "Lizzy" then gets an Idea...
While Ed was eating a sausage burrito in GRAVY, he sees Kasumi but she is wearing glasses and holding a teddy bear! Ed then realizes that people who keep disappearing reappear later wearing glasses and holding teddy bears. Ed is then in tears and says "Oh no! Not you too Kasumi! WHY! (Cries on "Kasumi") and then the real Kasumi appears and says, "Umm Ed-kun, why are you crying near that look alike of me? And then after Ed stares at "Kasumi", the imposter says, "Actually, I couldn't capture that girl, she was too nice!" however Double D, Sarah, May, and Hikari also see the imposter and started to panic.
"Kasumi" then says "grrr… WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN EVERYTIME I SHOW MYSELF TO OTHERS!" and then "Captain Melonhead shows up and tries to fight the fake "Kasumi" but then "Kasumi" turns into a horrifying black beast with many tentacles, thrashing the cafeteria during the battle. Nazz then looks at the creature and says "dude...is that thing crying?" and Sarah says, "I have to agree with you Nazz, it is...but I'll make it cry even more if it doesn't tell me where Jimmy is at!" Ed then gets furious at the creature and is about to use his "fist of the monobrow" fighting style but then they hear someone show "NO! DON'T DO IT ED!"
IT WAS EDDY! Eddy yells to Ed "DON'T DO IT! That thing is really...YOUR COUSIN!" and then Ed stops and uses his monobrow to hold "Captain Melonhead" back and he says, "he's my cousin... but that's impossible!"
Eddy then explains, "I remember I delivered him his teddy bear during Christmas, he first appeared as an egg in the center of the Earth and apparently...he is "Sootface's son!" and then May panics and says "EDDY HAS DONE A UNSELFISH THING AND STOOD UP FOR THAT THING! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" and then she jumps off the window but it turns out the Lunchroom is really on the first floor and then she re-enters the Lunchroom. Eddy then says, "Cut it out May! I just stood up for that thing because I gave him his teddy bear and I kinda feel bad for him" and with that act of kindness, Eddy's heart "grew three sizes that day".
Ed then says, "Nergal has a son! that's so cool...but why did he capture my friends and impersonate them?" and then Junior turns back to his first human form and Nazz can be heard saying "Aww, Kawaii!" and then Nazz thinks to herself "oh great, now the kimonos got me doing that!". Then Junior explains, "It's so I can get close to Cousin Sarah and you Cousin Ed. plus I... I... I don't know how to interact with people because I'm a freak!" and Nergal Jr. Cries very hard. Ed then hugs him and says, "I know how to make you our friend Cousin Junior, can you please release our friends from where you have them captive?" and then Junior nods in agreement.
As Nergal Jr. releases his prisoners from his locker dimension because Ed asked him to nicely, he is tapped on his shoulder and as he turned around he sees Nazz who tells him "hey dude, Ed told me everything about you" and then Nergal Jr. says "what? that I'm a demented excuse of a freak that is Ed's cousin and the son of a underground entity that tried to imprison all of your friends because of his loneliness...well if you want to smack me around...do you worse!" and then as he braced himself while crying softly...
Nazz approaches him and kisses him on the lips! Everyone was shocked, especially all three Eds and Kevin. Nergal Jr opens his eyes and softly says "why...?" and then Nazz says "dude, you shouldn't feel that way about yourself, you're just a misunderstood person kinda like the Eds but I eventually grew to like them...as long as Eddy doesn't scam me (HEY!) Also I find you to be pretty cute and maybe... (holds Junior's hand) we can be more than just friends if we give it some time." Kevin then asks "HEY NAZZ! WHAT DOES THAT DORK HAVE THAT I DON'T!" and then Nazz angry says "Well for starters you are conceited, don't have a conscience, all you ever do is call people you don't like dorks, make them feel even worse, and you only care for yourself and no one else...remember the "chimp wurld" incident? Also Junior is cute and probably nice once you get to know him" (hugs Junior and he blushes)
Kevin suddenly clams up and he asks the Eds why aren't they jealous and then Eddy whom is seen being hugged by Ryoko says "well does this answer your question?" and then as Kevin sees Double D with Hikari and Ed with Kasumi, Kevin gets insanely jealous and he says "NO FAIR! THOSE GUYS ARE DORKS! YET THEY GET HOT CHICKS! (Looks at Junior) That dork's gotta go!" and even when Ed stands in his way he continued to approach Junior and then Nazz says "well dude...he's asking for it" and then Nergal Jr. pulls out his tentacles and well I can't describe what happens next due to "ultraviolence" but then Ed says "COUSIN! NO! DON'T KILL KEVIN!... he's just stupid and a dork!" and then Nergal Jr. says "actually just for you... he is gonna get it even worse..."
Meanwhile, after school, Nazz, Sarah, and Lizzy hanged out with the Kimono Sisters and Nergal Jr. But then the Kanker Sisters suddenly show up and Lee says, "The Eds are ours! surrender them to us or ELSE!" and then Eddy says "I just love a good catfight!" and then all the girls and Junior shout at Eddy "GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!" and then Ryoko grabs Lee and laughs in a creepy way as she drags her near the dumpster. Marie looks a little nervous and then Hikari pulls out a 10 Yen coin and Marie acts like a dog around it thinking it's a 50-cent coin and Hikari says, "See the coin? See the coin? (throws it very far) go get it!"
Ryoko then returns triumphant and she says "two down (looks at May) ONE TO GO!" and then Ed, Lizzy, Kasumi and Hikari stand in front of her and Hikari says "NO RYOKO! she's the one who knew about us and summoned us when Ed needed our help!" and Kasumi says "that's true Ryoko, May-chan isn't bad at all, her green friend told us about her and she's really nice" and then Ryoko then dirties up May's shirt and hands her a bottle of ketchup, telling her "In case your sisters want to know where you were at, tell them you fought me and lost ok?" and she makes a cute anime face. May then looks at Junior and says, "You know Ed's cousin, we are kinda alike, we're both outcasts but now we got accepted by peers" and then Junior says "yes, oh and I would like to apologize for the terror I have caused earlier" and then Nazz says, "don't worry dude! Besides, you're our new friend, and well... (Blushes)." Junior then decides to invite Nazz, Kasumi, and Cousin Ed for dinner at his place in the center of the earth.
As the group leaves the school, they fail to see Lee trapped in a dumpster and while Marie is happy with her coin, not knowing it's actually a 10 Yen coin.
Later that day, in the center of the earth, Nergal is delighted to see his son after his day on earth but then Nergal gets the biggest shock of his "life"...Nergal Jr. brought Nazz, Ed, and Kasumi for dinner. After Nazz and Kasumi introduces themselves as Junior and Ed's girlfriends, Nergal and his unseen wife are delighted. And soon they, Nazz, Kasumi, and Ed had fried chicken for dinner. After dinner, Ed decided to give the bones to Junior's new dog and then Ed says "waitaminute...Junior didn't have a dog before!" and then inside the dog house appears to be a extremely frightened Kevin that is chained up to the dog house and then Ed pets him, gives him the bones and says "here you go doggy!...(looks to the reader) remember people at home...never destroy true love...(points at Kevin who is seen eating the bones) OR ELSE THIS WILL HAPPEN!!! Good night everyone!" (Kevin lifts his leg and pees on Ed) "Aww how cute...he thinks I'm a fire hydrant!"
Next time: Ever wondered what happened to Grim during the story? find out in the next chapter! And if you don't read it... THIS WILL HAPPEN! (Points to Kevin attempting to lick himself) oh no wait, that's if you act like such a dork