Brodi stepped out onto the patio and looked to his left. Finding his father, he walked over and sat down beside him on the bench that lined the patio railing. Neither man looked at the other for several minutes. Kurt didn't seem to want to rush the conversation, and Brodi was content not to be rushed. He used the time to center his mind, taking a deep breath, holding it for a second, then blowing it out. Lather, rinse, repeat. Finally he felt ready.
"Dad..."
"Son..."
They both stopped and looked at each other in surprise.
"Go ahead, Pop."
Kurt shook his head. "No, son. You've been beat about the head with this all day, with everyone doing what they think is best for you. It's time for you to speak up. You go first. I insist."
Brodi felt a huge wave of relief wash over him. "Thanks. You have no idea how much it means, just to hear someone say that."
He took another deep breath, then felt he was ready to begin.
"I'm sorry that I lied to you and Mom. I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you about what happened. I thought they were going to kill me, Dad. I was scared, confused, I was out of my mind with pain and drugs, not to mention dehydration and hunger. I couldn't comprehend what was happening to me, WHY it was happening to me. Every time I passed out, I was sure out was going to be the end. Sometimes..." his voice broke, but he forced himself to continue. "Sometimes I hoped it would be. I'm ashamed of that now."
"Son..."
"When I managed to escape," he continued before his father could stop him, "I just couldn't face it. I couldn't even admit to myself what had happened. I couldn't face MYSELF. I certainly couldn't face you and Mom. I didn't want to see the look on your faces when I told you. I wanted to spare you the knowledge, if I could. And I didn't want to disappoint you. And I'm so sorry I didn't trust you. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want..."
Brodi's voice broke and he leaned forward, hiding his face in his hands. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but reminded himself it was his father.
Kurt put his arm around his son and pulled him in closer. "It's OK, son. No one is watching. There's no one here but me and you. Just let it out."
Suddenly Brodi did just that. He sobbed like he was breaking in half. Kurt's only response was to pull his son more firmly into his arms. Brodi lay across his father's arm and sobbed. Kurt stroked his son's hair as he cried, father bearing silent witness to his son's pent up trauma, the trauma the boy had tried to keep to himself for ten years.
Finally Brodi felt it slowing down, and he felt strong enough to push himself back up. He wiped his eyes with his hands and took a couple ragged breaths.
"Take your time, son." Kurt said. "Whenever you're ready. We have all the time in the world as far as I'm concerned."
Brodi nodded. He was still shaking a little, so he gladly leaned into his father when Kurt put his arm around him again.
"I didn't want this, Pop." Damn, his voice was still shaking. "I didn't ask for it, I didn't want it. I tried for the longest time to figure out what I did to deserve it. And I thought I was over it. I really did. I was living a good life, I've been successful, I've got great friends. I thought I was over it."
"Son, I can't give you advice on how to handle this. All I can really do is love you. I can tell you that you didn't deserve any of this. If I could make it not have happened, I would. But I can't. And it did happen. And it breaks my heart to know that someone tortured my beautiful boy. I can't change it. But I can love you. And I love you enough to trust you to tell me what you need from me. If you tell me that you want to do this thing your mother is planning, I'm here to support you. And if you tell me you don't want to do it, well, I'm here to support you." He paused briefly and looked up into the sky, and Brodi thought he saw his father blinking back tears. "Every person in that house loves you, son. But sometimes the urge to make things better overrides good judgment. You need to let us know what you need. And I'm here to back you up 100%."
"You have no idea what it means to hear that."
Kurt nodded. "I'm here for you, son. Don't forget that."
With that he rose and held a hand out to his son. "Let's go back inside, shall we?"
