Disclaimers: Don't own KHR or its characters.
Warnings: fluff, swearing, PTSD, a LOT of violence/abuse.
UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW.
4.18pm
'Awkward' doesn't even begin to describe the atmosphere between Yamamoto and Hibari as they sat adjacent to one another in Yamamoto's bedroom. Frankly, this wasn't unexpected. How were two people who both cheated on each other supposed to act towards one another, anyway? What were they supposed to say? It also didn't help that the two people were Yamamoto, who seemed to always fail at attempting small talk, and Hibari, whose typical form of communication was glaring.
So they sat there in silence – Yamamoto fidgeting with his fingers; Hibari observing the wall like it was the most spectacular piece of artwork he'd ever seen. They continued on like that for about ten torturing minutes, before Hibari realized that this was stupid and was going nowhere.
Thus, the Skylark did what he did best – he glared at Yamamoto to make conversation.
Yamamoto, under pressure, said the first thing that came to his mind, "Uh... nice car."
Yup. Master of small talks he was, that Yamamoto Takeshi. But a start was better than nothing at all.
Hibari shrugged, "Not mine."
"Oh." Yamamoto said intelligently.
"Hn," was Hibari's equally intelligent reply.
God, this is going nowhere...
"So..." Yamamoto struggled, "Whose car is it? Your family's?"
"No."
"Rent?"
Hibari shook his head.
"...looks like something belonging to an evil mafia family," Yamamoto joked.
Bingo. Hibari thought, remaining quiet.
"Then..." Yamamoto was unable to drag it on any further. It was getting ridiculous. No more beating around the bush; time to get to the point. In a low voice, Yamamoto tried, "...Dino Cavallone?"
Hibari's dark eyes shot up at that. "How do you know that name?"
"Mukuro told me about you and him," Yamamoto answered honestly.
Tch. Annoying bastard, sticking his nose in everything. Hibari turned his head and cursed under his breath.
It was in that moment that Yamamoto saw the very deep, dark purple bruise on Hibari's pale neck. Then, as though a trigger have been pulled, Yamamoto began noticing other things too. Hibari's lips were a little swollen, his dark eyes a little glazed, and his light skin was practically glowing. And now that Yamamoto thought about it, Hibari's walk was a little off as they made their way up the stairs as well.
Did Hibari...?
As realization dawned on him, Yamamoto gritted his teeth, unable to stop the pain from burning in his chest. It wasn't just jealousy, it was hurt. Even though Yamamoto had Gokudera, the only person who he had ever been so intimate with was still Hibari. And to him, the moment was special. Yamamoto felt like he shared a part of him with Hibari that night – an unexposed, vulnerable part never revealed to anyone before. Yamamoto had thought that the Skylark felt the same. The idea that it could be something less to Hibari than what it was to Yamamoto, and that Hibari could so easily share something so significant with somebody else just... hurt.
"It is him, then?" Yamamoto found it difficult to speak with such a heavy feeling in his chest, a hard lump at the base of his throat.
Hibari nodded slowly. There was no point in lying. "...yes."
Their eyes met, and Hibari felt a strong ache pulling at his heart. It was strange. Hibari thought that he wouldn't care how Yamamoto felt because it bloody served him right for cheating on him with Gokudera. But Hibari cared. Hibari cared a lot. And the Skylark did not expect this but it still pained him to think of Yamamoto being with Gokudera – and Yamamoto, sitting there looking like a kicked puppy... it pained Hibari to see him like that too.
What is this? Hibari wondered. He didn't understand why it hurt.
"Mm," Yamamoto clenched his fists. Of course. He expected as much. Of course, it was Dino. A bitter smile graced his features as he tried, with effort, to not hide his face away from Hibari. "...two years, huh?"
"Hn," Hibari rolled in his lips. Why does it hurt?
"That's... impressive," Yamamoto was finding it harder to breathe. The unrelenting pain was suffocating him. No. Stop it. I can't behave like this. Yamamoto forced a smile, "I'm- I'm happy for... I mean, I hope..."
Yamamoto couldn't make himself utter the words. He mentally swore. Come on. You can do this. Smile. But Yamamoto found that his smile was crumbling right off his face, and all of a sudden everything was blurry and he couldn't look at Hibari anymore. It hurt too much to look at something he was about to lose, knowing there was nothing he could do to change it. Yamamoto turned his face downwards, hiding his pained expression, taking deep breaths to steady his emotions.
Hibari couldn't stand it. Seeing Yamamoto – happy, cheerful, bright as the sky, Yamamoto – so down and hurt gave Hibari a horrible feeling in his gut. And as much as it was Yamamoto's own fault, it was partially Hibari's doing too. And the Skylark just couldn't see Yamamoto like this. He hated seeing Yamamoto like this. This would not be how they parted – this would not be how they would say goodbye.
Standing up slowly, Hibari made his way towards Yamamoto before he gently ran his fingers through Yamamoto's hair.
Yamamoto's breath shuddered under his touch. He grabbed Hibari's hand and pressed his lips to it ardently, savouring that scent of cherry blossoms one last time. His voice was laced with anguish, "Kyouya..."
Hibari's breath hitched. He shook his head but did not pull his hand away. "...don't."
Don't make this harder for both of us.
Suppressing the pain wracking through him, Yamamoto looked up at Hibari, eyes red from holding back tears. "He was your first love, wasn't he?"
Hibari was reluctant, but he nodded. "Mm."
Yamamoto grabbed his hand tighter before he stood up and wrapped Hibari within his arms. Hibari allowed the embrace. Pressed to his body, Yamamoto was as warm as he remembered. Yamamoto's lips were by his ears as he breathed, almost inaudibly, "...you're my first love, Kyouya."
"Hn." I know. Hibari closed his eyes, letting his arms curl around Yamamoto's back. Yamamoto's heart was beating hard against his ear. Since when did he grow so tall?
"Dino Cavallone," Yamamoto exhaled faintly down Hibari's neck, "You love him?"
"...yes," Hibari replied quietly, but with no hesitation. Then, as his thoughts wandered to the blonde Italian waiting for him downstairs – Dino probably getting all agitated with how long he had been gone – Hibari couldn't hold back a little smile. God, I'm turning into a sap.
Yamamoto saw, and that was when he knew he could let the Skylark go. Ever since Yamamoto had met Hibari, all he wanted was to see Hibari happy. It was clear to him now that Dino was the one who could make that happen – and he could do it better than Yamamoto, even.
And even though it still hurt pretty badly, Yamamoto knew he would be okay.
Feeling as though it really was the last time, Yamamoto held Hibari close, burying his nose into his hair. My Kyouya... He pressed a long kiss to the Skylark's forehead, lingered for a heart-aching second, before releasing him from his arms. No longer mine. Holding Hibari at shoulder-length, Yamamoto managed a weak smile. "Okay."
"And you," Hibari mumbled softly, looking up into Yamamoto's eyes with his own dark, sharp ones. "Do you love Gokudera Hayato?"
The question was completely unexpected, right out of the blue. It took Yamamoto by surprise. But as he thought of those emerald eyes and that scowling face of the silvernette, the pain inside of him began to numb around the edges. Yamamoto's smile softened. "...yeah."
"Hn," Hibari nodded, "Good."
The way Hibari said it – so approvingly, with arms crossed as though he was a teacher examining a student's work – made Yamamoto let out a little lighthearted chuckle. And Hibari was relieved, because, there it was – the Yamamoto he knew; the Yamamoto that cracked open the heavy concrete shield around Hibari's heart and earned his own little space inside.
And even though Hibari loved Dino, a little piece of him would always care for Yamamoto – just as how Yamamoto would forever have a part of him that would never forget Hibari, no matter how wholeheartedly he loved Gokudera.
Because Hibari was Cloud and Yamamoto was Rain – and like Cloud and Rain, they would always have a part of each other; even though Clouds remained in the Sky and Storm always came with Rain.
"You should be going," Yamamoto said, glancing out of the window and seeing the black Lamborghini still there. Next to the two guards was now a handsome blonde man leaning casually on the side of the car, his face looking up towards Yamamoto's bedroom window. For a split second, Dino's eyes met Yamamoto's. The man gave him a little nod, letting Yamamoto know that it was time to return the Skylark to where he belonged. "He's waiting for you."
"Hn," Hibari nodded. The Skylark squeezed Yamamoto's hand firmly once, his dark eyes appearing deeper than usual. And Yamamoto was caught in those eyes, even as Hibari turned away and walked towards the door in slow but firm steps.
This is real. Yamamoto realised, as he watched the Skylark go. This is goodbye.
Right before Hibari could turn the knob and leave, Yamamoto abruptly spoke up. "Kyouya-!"
Hibari turned only his head around to look at him with dark, questioning eyes.
Yamamoto smiled as he spoke, gentle voice barely above a whisper, "...I'll miss you."
Hibari was still and silent for a moment. Then, without breaking eye contact, his lips moved, forming the shapes of words without actually voicing them.
"Me too."
And then the door was shut and the Skylark was gone.
Yamamoto waited until he heard Dino's car driving off before he flopped down on his bed, buried his head in a pillow, and cried like a child.
7.34pm
Gokudera stood in front of the apartment shown in the map given to him by Mukuro. He had been here before, once, but he did not remember what the exterior of the place looked like. Last time, Gokudera was unconscious when he was brought in, and by the time he was rescued out... Gokudera did not want to think about that. It was a state of himself he would rather not revisit.
Takumi lived on the fifth floor, according to the information Mukuro gave him. Gokudera could see the windows from the ground. The lights were on – which was good, because it meant his target was exactly where he was supposed to be.
Taking a deep breath, Gokudera traced the knife he hid down the leg of his pants. He had been touching it quite frequently, making sure that it was still there. Gokudera may never have the chance or the guts to do this again – tonight was the night this knife would taste Takumi's blood and take his life with it.
At first, Gokudera thought about using a gun. But the silvernette was much more comfortable with handling a knife. Plus, a bullet wound was too sudden, too quick of a death and not enough blood lost. Gokudera wanted that bastard to feel pain. He wanted that lowlife to feel every ounce of pain inflicted on him.
Checking the time on his mobile phone, Gokudera decided it was time to alert Dynamite on what he was planning to do. He didn't tell any of them earlier because they would definitely try to stop him – tell him it was too dangerous, that he wasn't ready, that he was not yet strong enough for this. If the Dynamite's attempt didn't work, they would get Yamamoto to convince him. And that wouldn't do because Gokudera needed this – he needed to do this for himself, and he needed to do it now.
Gokudera texted Spanner.
[T's dead 2nite. -G]
Spanner was the type of person who had his phone on silent, without vibrate. If Gokudera estimated correctly, the mechanic would still be busy obsessing over some machine in the garage with Shouichi and would not check his phone for at least half an hour. And if by then, Gokudera still hadn't returned home, Spanner would immediately come for him with some back-up.
Not that I would even need it. Gokudera convinced himself as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. This is easy. This is too easy. I'd be done within ten minutes tops.
Yes, Smoking Bomb. We can do this. I can do this. I can fucking do this.
However, as Gokudera was psyching himself up, something happened. Something bad.
An arm shot out of nowhere. Behind him. From the dark. It wrung around his neck, clasping his mouth, and Gokudera found his arms locked behind his back.
The distinct smell of alcohol, cigarettes and weed immediately hit him.
No. Gokudera froze, his heart dropping to his feet. No. This isn't possible. NO. The lights are on, he should be inside- he should be BLOODY INSIDE in his FUCKING APARTMENT- NO- he CAN'T be-
"Well, look what we have here," The voice and breath crept down his neck like spiders. "What's a cute kitty like you sneaking around my apartment for, Haya-chan?"
Gokudera wanted to scream. He might've done so if Takumi hadn't clamped his mouth shut. Pushing and writhing away for his life, Gokudera could feel his heart beating erratically in his chest. But Takumi, for his scrawny drug-addict image, was much stronger than he looked. Gokudera stomped and bit and wriggled with all his power but the man's arms just refused to budge.
"Did you miss me so much you had to come back?" Takumi's lips were grazing his ears and Gokudera shivered. The bastard chuckled, dipping his tongue into the shell of Gokudera's ears, "You little fool... how hard shall I fuck you this time?"
Gokudera whimpered, feeling desperate tears forming in his eyes. He tried to fight Takumi again, but it was no use. Takumi's grip was so tight it was bruising, and the more Gokudera struggled, the closer Takumi held him. The scent of Takumi, his voice, and the sound of his breath brought back the worst memories of that night. The cigarette burns, the choking, the taste, the beatings, the blood, the screaming...
Gokudera screwed his eyes shut as hot, fresh tears rolled down his face and he sobbed into Takumi's hand. His entire body was shaking, convulsing with fear, and his fingers were trembling so much it was like he was about to go into a seizure. Gokudera tried to gasp for breath but his lips were closed shut and all he could do was breathe harshly through his nose. This reminded him of when Takumi forced that disgusting organ down his throat, and Gokudera cried harder, feeling like he needed to throw up.
The Dynamites were right. Gokudera was not ready for this. He was not ready to face this monster without instantly breaking into a panic attack; he was not ready to see Takumi without crumbling to pieces... because this man – if he was even human at all – terrified Gokudera.
Help. Help. Please. Help me. Anybody. PLEASE-
"Shhh," Takumi hushed him, licking right down the nape of his neck. Gokudera shuddered as though Takumi's tongue was a slug on his skin. Takumi sloppily kissed his tear-streaked cheek, "Shh, don't cry, Haya-chan. It's okay."
Please. Please help me. Don't make go through that again. I don't want to go through that again. Please. Please...
Takumi was beginning to drag him inside of the apartment. Gokudera's wet eyes widened in horror.
No. No. No no no no no NO NO-
"Shhh," Takumi smirked, "Let's go to the bedroom now, okay?"
Gokudera screamed into the monster's hand.
7.48pm
[T's dead 2nite. -G]
Spanner groaned as soon as he saw the message.
Oh, his best friend could be so stupid sometimes.
"Spanner?" Irie Shouichi looked up from his laptop, wired to a mini-robot he was trying to function. "What's wrong?"
"Hayato's being an idiot," Spanner grumbled, crunching the lollipop in his mouth. The mechanic was moving fast, throwing various things into his backpack – Shouichi recognized them as homemade weapons of nail-embedded cricket bats, gas bombs, etc. plus a first aid kit. "He's going after that bastard Takumi."
"Uh-oh," Shouichi said grimly, having seen first-hand how Gokudera was like after his last encounter with Takumi. "That's a bad idea. Really bad."
"Which is exactly why he's an idiot," Spanner finished packing his bag and zipped it up. "And why I have to go save his ass." Spanner managed a little smirk. "Like, literally."
Shouichi knocked Spanner's forehead with his knuckles, "Not the time to be joking."
Spanner pecked Shouichi's cheek, "Sorry, sorr-"
BANG.
Both mechanics' eyes grew wide as a loud sound came from outside of the garage.
Shouichi gripped Spanner's wrist, "What was tha-"
CRASH. BANG.
Spanner frowned. Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. Not now.
"VOII! If you shitheads think you can just fuck with Varia and get away with it then you're dumb as fuck! Nobody fucks with Varia! You're as good as dead, fucking Dynamite scum!"
CRASH. CRASH. BANG.
"Shit." Spanner swore. This was bad. This was really bad. That was a voice he definitely recognized. ...why the hell is Varia attacking now, of all times? With their strongest members, too. Spanner needed to act, and act fast. The fighting was already beginning outside of the garage. Spanner could hear M.M.'s voice screeching out orders at the Dynamite underlings; Skull with his infamous battle cry.
They needed him, Spanner realized. Varia was stronger than ever, and Dynamite needed every skilled member they've got. But right now, Gokudera needed him too. Hell, Gokudera might need even more than one member of Dynamite. Spanner clutched his hair, "Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit-"
BANG. CRASH.
"Spanner!" Shouichi shook the blonde to his senses, his own eyes panicked behind the lens of his glasses. "What do we do?"
"You stay in here," Spanner found Shouichi a hiding place behind a row of particularly large machines they were working on. "Don't come out unless someone from our side calls you, okay?"
"Okay," Shouichi nodded.
"Alright," Spanner pulled out his favourite metal weapon and had it ready in his right hand. His left hand grabbed for his mobile, "Now, I need to make some phone calls-"
7.59pm
Gokudera's knife was stripped away from his reach, and he was tied to the bed in the exact same position as last time – legs apart, arms apart, completely exposed. This time, however, Takumi gagged him as well. The fabric on his lips was so dry and tight that Gokudera could feel his bottom lip splitting – the coppery taste of blood and tears on the tip of his tongue.
Gokudera had cried and screamed so much that his throat was beginning to croak. All his thrashing around had also earned him rope burns on his wrists and ankles as well as three hits to his body; two to his face, and one hard fist to his lower stomach. The latter left Gokudera in so much pain he couldn't even whimper for a while.
Takumi was now using Gokudera's knife to cut his clothes off him. Gokudera shivered, hating the feel of metal brushing against his skin, hating Takumi's hands on him, hating that he couldn't do anything about it, and hating, hating, hating Takumi. Gokudera hated Takumi so much simply being in his presence made him want to hurl. His body was physically reacting negatively to being in close proximity to the guy.
The monster looked different now that he was in the light. Takumi had a large, deep bruise across his face, and stitches on one of his eyebrows and on his lips. Two of his fingers were also bandaged with supporting splints.
Takumi caught Gokudera staring at the splints. He scoffed. "Wondering how I got this? Well, Haya-chan, your darling friends from Dynamite came around and ambushed me when I was coming home from a party. Roughed me up – snapped my fingers. Don't tell me you didn't know about this?"
Gokudera had never heard a single word of it. He shook his head quickly.
"Don't lie, Haya-chan," Takumi cooed as he cut down the centre of Gokudera's shirt. "You probably set the whole thing up, didn't you? A little revenge on your part, hm? Too bad I was so drunk by then that I don't remember most of it. You must be disappointed your petty plan didn't work out, eh?"
Gokudera shook his head again, green eyes pleading.
"Lying little kitty," Takumi smirked, running the tip of his knife down Gokudera's middle finger and drawing tiny droplets of blood. "What about it? Shall I return the favour?"
"Mmmph-!" Gokudera cried through the gag as Takumi's good hand wrapped around his finger. Tears were leaking out of his eyes as he shook his head desperately, terror overcoming him. Takumi stroked his finger lovingly and Gokudera sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut, too scared to even move.
Seeing this, Takumi burst out laughing like a maniac. Gokudera couldn't even look at him. But Takumi's hand was on his chin and clamping his jaw like a metal grip, forcing Gokudera's face to turn towards him even though his eyes were closed. "Aww, Haya-chan, you look so terrified, you poor thing! Don't worry, don't worry. I'm not into the business of breaking bones. It's just not my – how shall I say this – style. Yes. I'm not a 'break-bones' kind of person."
Not relieved in the slightest, Gokudera opened his eyes to glare at the monster on top of him. He didn't want to show anymore fear. This bastard got off seeing fear, and Gokudera was not going to satisfy him in that respect. But it was difficult, because the mere sight of Takumi alone made Gokudera's skin crawl. Everything Takumi was and everything he did – Gokudera found it disgusting. Disturbing.
Scary.
"But then again, you did go through the effort to bring this lovely knife here with you..." Takumi's eyes were gleaming as he twisted the knife admiringly in his hands. "To use it on me, perhaps? To... kill me?"
Takumi giggled. It was the most horrible sound Gokudera ever heard. The silvernette trembled, not knowing what nightmare was coming next.
"Too bad for you, Haya-chan..." Takumi grinned – a sickening, terrifying grin, "...I just happen to be a knife kind of person."
And without a second to spare, Takumi stabbed the knife right through Gokudera's palm – all the way through to the bed mattress, right to the hilt of the knife, effectively pinning Gokudera's bloody hand there.
Gokudera shrieked until his throat gave out.
8.11pm
Yamamoto was running. No, Yamamoto was sprinting.
As soon as Spanner told him what was going on, Yamamoto instantly grabbed a baseball bat, got on his motorcycle and sped down the streets and roads, not caring about speed limits and running through red lights left and right. Gokudera's mini motorcycle session was proving to be quite useful now that Yamamoto was driving like a color gang member himself – so fast he would put even some of the better riders to shame. It was also fortunate that Yamamoto had done delivering work for his father before, so he knew what building Spanner was talking about immediately. As he kept on speeding, Yamamoto's thoughts were focused on the silvernette and him alone.
Gokudera. Gokudera.
Why did you do this? Why didn't you tell me?
And now Yamamoto was sprinting up the stairs of the apartment because the elevators were too slow and he just had to go to Gokudera right now.
Fifth floor, fifth floor...
Gokudera...
When Yamamoto reached the designated floor, he didn't even need to search for the room because he could hear Gokudera's voice. And, oh god, Gokudera was screaming...
Gripping his baseball bat tight in his sweaty hands, Yamamoto kicked the door with all his force. And Yamamoto didn't even know where such power in him came from, but the door gave in after only his second try.
There was a man smoking a roll of something which smelled like burnt grass on the floor of the living room. He stared wide-eyed at Yamamoto and pointed to him in delayed alarm, "Oi... kiddo..."
Yamamoto didn't give him the chance to finish because he could hear Gokudera screaming again and without thinking, Yamamoto kicked the guy upside his head. The smoking man dropped to the floor, immediately unconscious. Conveniently, this man had left his keys before him on the table. Yamamoto grabbed the keys and rushed to the bedroom Gokudera's voice was coming from. Fumbling to find the right key, Yamamoto flinched and panicked more with every pained noise Gokudera made.
I'm going to kill that piece of lowlife, I swear... Yamamoto cursed as he threw away another useless key. Gokudera's muffled cry came through the door, and Yamamoto was on the verge of physically breaking down the door when suddenly, the knob turned and the key worked.
Swinging the door open, Yamamoto froze at the sight before him.
Gokudera was tied to the bed, gagged, completely naked, with little bleeding cuts all over his pale body – some deeper and larger than others. There was a particularly gruesome gash on his upper arm, and Gokudera's left hand had a knife through it. His face was wet with tears, and the gag over his lips was stained with blood. The look in those emerald eyes was heartbreaking.
Takumi, that demon, was laughing as he crouched over Gokudera and was drawing a cut down Gokudera's cheek with a pocket knife.
Yamamoto was so angry he was shaking. But just as he was about to smack Takumi across the head and crack his skull open with his baseball bat, the bastard turned around and saw him.
And Yamamoto was too far to reach him before Takumi could reach the gun that was on the bedside. That gun now pointed at Yamamoto, and the manic look in Takumi's eyes told him that this monster will not hesitate to shoot.
"Drop the bat, kid," Takumi slowly got off Gokudera's body, the gun never leaving its aim on Yamamoto. "Drop it. Now!"
Yamamoto did as he was told, raising his hands above his head submissively. His eyes found Gokudera's, and Gokudera blinked through tears, concern for Yamamoto shining clear in those emerald pools.
"Good," Takumi nodded. "Now move away from the bat. Slowly."
Yamamoto was giving Gokudera a meaningful look.
I didn't save you last time. This time, I will.
Gokudera shook his head, silently telling Yamamoto not to do anything stupid.
"Oi. Stop looking at each other!" Takumi yelled, "And I told you to move!"
The event that happened next, Gokudera saw in slow-motion through teary eyes.
Yamamoto turned his body and kicked the gun right out of Takumi's hand. The gun went flying, dropping somewhere on the ground far away. Takumi wasn't expecting Yamamoto to do something so drastic, and thus, wasn't prepared to counter-attack. The guy quickly fumbled for his pocket knife, but Yamamoto was faster. He picked up his baseball bat from the ground, and with his best swing as the ace player of the Namimori High School baseball team, Yamamoto whacked Takumi right in the ribs.
CRAAACK-!
Bone-cracking sounds were heard as Takumi took the impact and fell to the ground, wheezing as he clutched the injured side of his torso and groaned loudly in pain. Yamamoto was about to whack at him again for good measure, but the bastard cowered over, raising his arms to protect himself – and Yamamoto just couldn't do it. It wasn't in Yamamoto's nature to hit someone in such a pitiful state – and it wasn't his priority to hurt Takumi. His priority was Gokudera.
Yamamoto rested his baseball bat on the bed before he quickly removed the gag over Gokudera's mouth. The silvernette's bottom lip was split and darkened to a horrible purple color. It made Yamamoto want to hit Takumi again, but he concentrated on untying Gokudera's arms and legs instead.
"Yama- moto..." Gokudera was helplessly sobbing his name, "Yamamoto... Y-Yamamoto..."
Yamamoto kissed Gokudera's forehead and gently wiped blood and tears away from his cheeks. Yamamoto's fingers cradled Gokudera's face between his hands as he murmured, "I'm here. I'm here, Hayato. I'm right here, okay?"
Gokudera clutched onto Yamamoto's shoulders with his good hand as soon as it was freed, and he buried his face into Yamamoto's neck, crying in relief as he took in that familiar fresh scent of shampoo. His entire form was trembling, "Yamamoto... Yamamoto, you f-fucking idiot! You could've gotten sh-shot..."
"It'd be worth it," Yamamoto whispered into his ears, his arms circling Gokudera's waist and folding him into his chest. Gokudera only cried harder.
Gokudera had managed to sit up, but his left arm was still limp beside him, his hand still pinned to the mattress. So much blood came out of the wound that the mattress was stained red, but it seemed like the bleeding had stopped for now. Yamamoto didn't think it would be a good idea to pull the knife out and start the blood flowing out again. He decided to ask for Gokudera's opinion – the silvernette most likely knew more about knife wounds than he did, anyway. "Hey, what do you-"
"YAMAMOTO! BEHIND YOU!"
But Gokudera was too late. The second Yamamoto turned around, Takumi plunged a knife into Yamamoto's torso. Then, with a sadistic smile, the monster twisted the knife.
Yamamoto groaned and fell to his knees.
No.
NO.
Gokudera was in too much shock to even make any noise. The silvernette just shook his head slowly as his emerald eyes watched the crumpling form of his lover, unable to accept what he was seeing as reality. Tears that were beginning to dry leaked out of his eyes once again.
No no no NO- NOT him, not Yamamoto, this can't be happening, he hadn't done anything to deserve this, this shouldn't- this couldn't be happening to him...
Takumi was laughing hysterically as though he had completely lost his mind. Maybe he really had. He was still wheezing in pain from his broken ribs, but that still didn't stop him from throwing his head back and laughing maliciously at Yamamoto's pain. "Take- that!" Takumi wheezed between high-pitched laughter. "Think you're- such a- hero, eh? T-Take that- and- die! Die! DIE!"
Gokudera didn't think he could despise Takumi anymore than he already did. But what the monster just did to Yamamoto...
...it was unforgivable.
Takumi could've done anything to Gokudera and the silvernette would've taken it because he was already damaged and broken beyond scraps and shards. A dirty canvas like Gokudera could handle a few more splurges of murky ink. A shattered glass could take a few more cracks. Sure, it would make him lose a bit more of his soul – but then again, Gokudera thought there wasn't much left to begin with.
But Yamamoto... Yamamoto was all that was good and pure and bright in Gokudera's life. The warm candle to Gokudera's frozen shriveled up heart... to hell would Gokudera let Takumi take that away from him – to bloody hell would Gokudera allow something so wonderful to be touched by something so low.
With unnervingly calm composure and determined green eyes, Gokudera slowly picked up Yamamoto's baseball bat with his good right hand and took one sharp, silent swing –
Gokudera smacked the laughing monster right on the side of his skull, full-force. Takumi's head then collided violently with the metal bedpost that just so happened to be within the radius of Gokudera's bat.
There was a loud bang, a lot of blood splattering, and then – silence.
No more laughing.
Gokudera dropped the bat expressionlessly and pressed the back of his hand to Yamamoto's face.
The silvernette let out a long sigh of relief when he found that Yamamoto was still breathing, although faintly.
Yes. Yes, thank god – or whoever – thank you...
It was then that Colonello-sensei, out of all people, broke into the room. Gokudera stared at him at first, completely confused as to what in the world was his PE teacher doing there. But then he remembered vaguely in his jumbled up mind that some time ago, someone mentioned that Lal was dating some guy named Colonel-something who was her kouhai in some camp.
Knowing the man was on his side, the silvernette motioned weakly towards Yamamoto with his good hand. "Co..lo... hel..p.. Yama..."
And then Gokudera passed out.
8.59pm
Yamamoto. Please, be okay.
Nothing can happen to you. You must be okay.
Please. Please, be okay, Yamamoto.
I'd do anything. Just, please.
Please.
9.59pm
Yamamoto had been in the operating theatre for a long time, and Gokudera simply refused to leave his spot outside of the surgery room despite the constant warnings from the nurse about his behavior being 'detrimental to his current state of health'.
Members of Dynamite who had just finished their own medical treatment sat around the silvernette, on the chairs, on the floor, each with varying degrees of injury. They managed to distract Gokudera a little – very little – which Gokudera appreciated, because there was no doubt he would go completely mad if his thoughts weren't frequently pulled away from Yamamoto by the chattering of the Dynamites.
Just the mere thought of Yamamoto being inside the operating room made Gokudera feel physical pain inside of him – a clench, a constriction, like there was a bony fist pushed up inside his ribs trying to rip out his heart. Gokudera couldn't stop himself from replaying the scene of Yamamoto crumpling to the ground in his mind – and the longer he waited, the heavier the ache in his body became and the sicker he felt.
The clock ticked. Darkened emerald eyes glanced at it, at the door to the surgery room which was frustratingly quiet, and back at the clock again – then, finally, to his own wrist.
There, on the wrist of Gokudera's unwounded hand, was an inking in the shape of some deformed cartoon character – 'Chibi-Uri'. The ink had faded off a bit now, but Gokudera still stared at the drawing, trying to make out what was remaining of the cat's features. It was the only thing of Yamamoto that Gokudera could cling to at the moment – a marking that told Gokudera that Yamamoto would be okay.
Because someone as goodhearted as Yamamoto must be okay – he must be. Good people deserved good things, they deserved good, long lives, and if someone like Gokudera had survived, then, of course, Yamamoto must be okay. Yamamoto, who drew cartoons on Gokudera's wrist and – without a second thought – slit his own arm just to stop Gokudera from doing the same; Yamamoto, whose smile and warmth lit up the world; Yamamoto, who finally came through for him; Yamamoto, Yamamoto...
'Yamamoto, you f-fucking idiot! You could've gotten sh-shot...'
'It'd be worth it.'
'It'd be worth it,' he said. As in, 'it'd be worth it to get shot trying to save you'.
As in, 'it'd be worth it, even if I die trying to save you'.
Gokudera found his eyes burning up furiously once again. He bent over and rested his forehead his hands, which were clasped together as though in prayer.
Please, god. Please, anyone.
My whole life had been a nightmare – my mother died even before I could really get to know her, my dad's an abusive alcoholic who hates me and sold me off to a monster, and that monster had dragged me through hell and back. Every day I live, a part of me dies inside. Every time I asked someone – anyone – for help, no one listened. So I'm left here, a walking corpse, rotting and festering inside, not ever knowing what I'd done to deserve this.
But I won't blame you – not one bit – if just this time, just once, please, listen to me. Just, please, don't take Yamamoto Takeshi away from me. He's the only one that can make me feel alive again. He's the only good thing in my life. And I love him. I love him – even when I thought it was impossible for me to love anyone. I love him.
So, please. Don't take him away. Please. I don't care anymore even if he loves someone else more than he loves me. I don't bloody care. As long as he cares for me, just a little bit, and as long as I can see him, alive and happy, that's enough. As long as he's safe, I'll be okay. I won't ask for anything more. Just, please, let him be safe. Let him be okay. Let him wake up and smile at the world like he always did – smile at me like he always did.
I'll go through all the suffering in my life a hundred times over if I have to. But for all that is wrong and rotten and horrid in my life... please, please let him be okay.
Spare this one person, one man, this one good, good soul. Please.
...whoever you are, you owe me at least that much.
10.18pm
"Gokudera Hayato."
SLAM!
Gokudera looked up at the sound of his name to be met with a metal tonfa – flying out of nowhere – colliding right into his cheekbones. The impact was so hard that it threw him off his chair, pulling down the metal pole hanging his IV bag along with him. Emerald eyes glanced up from the floor to see a raging Skylark striding down the hall towards him, liquid-black eyes narrowed into little slits.
As soon as Hibari Kyouya was close enough, he grabbed Gokudera by the collar and threw the silvernette against the wall. There was no consideration for Gokudera's wounded condition whatsoever. The IV needle simply gave up and ripped out of Gokudera's skin.
Hibari's dark eagle-like eyes were flashing with fury as he spoke through gritted teeth. "I swear, Gokudera Hayato, if anything happens to him, I will kill you."
Gokudera didn't reply. He didn't know how to reply. His green eyes just looked straight back at Hibari's own with an unnerving stillness.
"He's only in there because of you. You were the one who pulled him into this," Hibari practically hissed. "It's your fault he's hurt."
"Oi, oi. Who the bloody fuck are you?" Spanner was getting out of his seat to come in between them, struggling a little because of his dislocated shoulder from the fight.
"Stay out of this," the tip of Hibari's tonfa was pressed against Spanner's throat in no time without the Skylark even letting off his hold on Gokudera. "My business is with Gokudera Hayato alone."
Spanner frowned, "What the hell-"
"Spanner," Gokudera shook his head. "Leave it."
"Hayato-"
"Leave it."
Spanner reluctantly went back to his seat, eyes still focused on Hibari and Gokudera's every move. The rest of the Dynamite members were alert as well – as injured as they were. If it weren't for Gokudera's word, they would never have allowed Hibari to touch even the tip of Gokudera's hair.
"Hn. What's this? You're going to let me hit you?" Hibari pressed a tonfa flat against Gokudera's Adam's apple, and the silvernette had to try hard not to flinch or tremble from the bad memories that object brought him.
Fearlessly, Gokudera's eyes did not avoid Hibari's as he replied, "Yes."
Yes. Hit me. Because it's true – I dragged Yamamoto into this. He would never be put into a situation to be injured if he'd never met me. Yamamoto would never have met that monster – and it never would've been able to touch Yamamoto.
It's because of me that he's hurt. It's because of me that he's in danger. It's because I dragged him into this dark side where he doesn't belong, that's why he's in hospital. I know this better than anyone – and I deserve punishment for it.
Hibari simply nodded, "Good."
SLAM! SLAM! SLAM-!
The Skylark did not waste a single second to start mercilessly attacking Gokudera. Three hits, and already, Gokudera was spitting blood. The silvernette didn't even try to protect himself, let alone retaliate. He just allowed Hibari to deepen his bruises and reopen his wounds, enduring the pain like a punishment.
"Fuck this, I'm not just gonna sit here-" Spanner began.
"No." Gokudera hissed at him, even when his busted lips had already split open again.
Hibari did not hold back – the man was like a panther when he fought. His hits were sharp and calculated to hurt Gokudera precisely as much as he wanted each one to. And the Skylark was intent on making each and every hit count.
I've just let Takeshi go – I've let him go back to Gokudera Hayato because he loves him. And immediately, this happens?
If Takeshi's not okay...
Hibari didn't want to think about it. It was bad enough having to lose the bond he had with Yamamoto – to lose him completely would be... Hibari felt his heart lurch. No. All the pain that Hibari felt, he directed towards Gokudera through physical means. And the Skylark was merciless.
SLAM! SLAM!
Gokudera closed his eyes as he tasted more copper in his mouth – his body instinctively numbing out the pain. It's fine. I deserve this. I'm at fault. If situations were reversed, I'd do exactly the same to him.
No one's allowed to hurt Yamamoto. Not even me.
SLAM! SLAM!
"Oh, for god's sake, Smoking Bomb!" M.M. yelled at him from somewhere but Gokudera couldn't hear anything but the sounds of metal impacting with his bones. Hibari, too, ignored M.M.'s complaint.
SLAM! SLAM!
The red head almost pulled out her hair in frustration, "Spanner, do something!"
"If I could, I would've done it already," Spanner muttered under his breath.
SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM-!
"Kyouya!"
Hibari paused mid-hit, his tonfa raised and ready to attack Gokudera's well-abused mid-section. His head turned sharply towards the voice that called his name with that specific accent – and there he was, Dino Cavallone, in all his handsome glory as he jogged down the hospital hall towards the Skylark, tripping slightly over nothing in particular.
Ah. That's right. Hibari finally remembered that Dino was the one who drove him here. The moment they reached the hospital Hibari had sprung out of the car and left Dino to find a parking space alone, the Skylark completely forgetting about the blonde's existence altogether.
"Kyouya, that's enough," Dino tried to pry Hibari off Gokudera, but the Skylark was stiff as stone, still pinning Gokudera to the wall.
"No." Hibari said, petulantly. "It's not enough. Not for what he did."
Dino sighed, "It's not his fault."
"Of course it is!" Hibari raised his voice, surprising Dino. "Takeshi would never be exposed to any harm of this sort if it wasn't for him."
The Skylark was almost growling at Gokudera, and yet, all the silvernette could think of was the fact that Hibari called Yamamoto by his first name.
He calls him 'Takeshi'. Huh.
I've never called him that – not once. Isn't that strange?
...what if he never gets to hear me say his name?
"Come on, Kyouya. Calm down."
"No. Why should I? Takeshi's in there because of him. Why shouldn't I be allowed to do this? "
"..."
"Let go of me."
"Kyouya-"
"No."
"...Kyouya, come here."
"..."
Gokudera's mind vaguely registered that Hibari had finally let go of him as the Skylark was pulled into Dino's arms. The silvernette didn't even notice that his knees had given in until his body was already a crumpled mess on the floor, blood drops spotting his hospital gown. Members of Dynamite immediately came in between him and Hibari, holding him up and bringing him back to his seat. But all the time, emerald eyes were focused on the warm embrace displayed before him – Hibari was folded into Dino's chest, Dino whispering softly into his ear. It was just like how Gokudera used to be with Yamamoto in his weaker moments.
Well, aren't you lucky, Hibari Kyouya? Yamamoto loves you – and you have this guy, too.
I don't have that. I don't have anything – anyone. Yamamoto's the only one.
And I may well be losing the only thing that is keeping me alive.
Hibari turned his head around from Dino's shoulders to glare at Gokudera one last time, his dark eyes as cold as dry ice, his voice a low, dangerous threat. "If anything happens to him, you're dead, Gokudera Hayato."
And Gokudera was threatened – but not by Hibari, not at all. Gokudera had a much more frightening threat at hand.
Gokudera had been afraid of many things in his life – of his father, as he hid away under his bed or in his closet, listening to drunken footsteps; of the sounds of breaking bottles against the wall; of his sister leaving him to suffer alone as he watched her leave; of a laugh, a horrible, disgusting laugh of a monster that haunted his worst nightmares... but the prospect of losing Yamamoto right now was akin to all of that fear multiplied by a million.
The clock ticked again. Darkened, broken emerald eyes glanced at it, at the door to the surgery room which was still frustratingly quiet, and back at the clock once more – then, finally, to his own wrist.
Chibi-Uri had almost completely faded away, and Gokudera gripped his wrist, desperately clinging onto the remains of the inking – desperately clinging onto whatever was left of Yamamoto.
Don't you worry about killing me, Hibari Kyouya.
...because if anything does happen to Yamamoto, I'd be more or less dead anyways.
A/N: Heavy chapter, hm? LOTS of things going on in this chapter, so much to discuss – I wonder what you guys thought of it all. The 8018 break-up, Gokudera's reaction to Takumi, Hibari and Gokudera's first encounter, and the big question, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO DEAR YAMA-CHAN?
Another memory-loss sequence, perhaps? :D (Just kidding... but am I? *evil grin*)
Let me know your thoughts and feels in a review! And remember, this update is only on time because last chapter's reviews make me a happy. And boy, you won't like it when Melonnaise is an unhappy bunny, no sir. So please REVIEW!
Thank you for reading, wonderful people! ;D