Things Aren't Always What They Seem

25

The darkness was back and she was alone again. She tried desperately to find the kind hand that had guided her earlier. She searched in the darkness but found nothing - except nothingness itself. She heard nothing, saw nothing, smelled nothing, tasted nothing and now that the hand was gone, she felt nothing. Despair and hopelessness were her only companions on this long and lonesome journey. She pulled even farther inside of herself waiting and hoping someone would care enough to find her and help her escape.

E!

Johnny stood at the door of her ICU room. One wall was solid glass giving the ICU nurses constant visual access to their patients. Each nurse was responsible for the care of only two patients; patients who were the sickest of the sick. Dr. Brackett had managed to pull some strings to allow Johnny to visit with Elaine much longer than is normally allowed. He had a theory he wanted to test and if he was correct then he would ask that Johnny and/or Dixie be allowed to sit with her around the clock if they so desired.

"Let's go in, shall we?" He stood back and used his hands to direct Dixie and Johnny into the room.

Johnny eased up to Elaine's bedside and took in her unconscious form. Had it not been for the beeping of the heart monitor, it would have been easy to assume she was deceased. She was very pale and seemed even thinner than he remembered. She was connected to numerous devices all for the purpose of keeping her alive. She still had the IV in the right side of her neck that he had started in a panic on her living room floor. Now that she had more fluid on board she also had IV's in both arms; and he was encouraged to see the tubing from the foley catheter was showing some urine output as well. The nasogastric tube snaking through her right nostril to her stomach ensured that she wouldn't continue to vomit and risk aspirating again. The ventilator was keeping her blood oxygenated while allowing her body to concentrate on the process of healing. He watched the monitor readings wishing the numbers were higher. Her blood pressure and heart rate were lower than he wanted them to be and he felt absolutely helpless. He took a deep breath and reached out to her. He allowed his fingers to trace the bruises on the back of her right hand; the hand he'd been unable to start an IV in. His efforts had left the bruises on her and left him with a feeling of incompetence. He eased his fingers through the space between her thumb and index finger and gently squeezed. She was still alive after all; and as long as she stayed with them he'd make sure she knew she wasn't alone. He slowly and gently ran his thumb back and forth across the back of her hand caressing her tender skin.

"Lainie, it's Johnny. I'm here Baby. Keep fighting for us ok? We're not gonna let you go but you've got to want to stay with us too."

Kel watched as Johnny began providing tactile stimulation and he began studying the numbers on the monitors too. Come on, Elaine. He's here for you. Let us know you're aware of his presence.

Dixie couldn't control the tears that had started to spill onto her cheeks. She walked over to Elaine's bedside opposite John and reached for her other hand. She squeezed gently with her left hand and began caressing Elaine's forehead with her right. The bruising along her hairline was fading as were the other bruises Oto had left her with. The only permanent scars would be the cigarette burns. And whatever emotional damage that son of bitch left her with too. Dixie knew he was dead and wouldn't be able to ever hurt Elaine again. She just hoped that Elaine would one day know that her torment was over.

Kel continued watching the readings for several minutes and finally allowed his face to relax slightly. Neither Johnny nor Dixie had noticed it but he definitely had seen it. Her heart rate had increased slightly. It wasn't a lot but in his mind it was significant. She knew and she was responding.

E!

The darkness wasn't abating but suddenly her fears were. The hand was back and was gently tugging her forward toward an unknown destination. She felt at peace when the larger hand held hers; somehow keeping her safe in her somber surroundings. Then a second hand joined the first and she felt the tugging even more strongly. She felt as if she knew both hands; one larger and the other smaller. Both were caring and strong hands; hands of healing and hands of comfort. She didn't know their names but she did recognize them somehow; particularly the masculine one firmly holding onto her right hand. She agreed to allow these hands to lead her in the direction they wanted her to go. Because even though it was the most difficult thing she'd ever had to do, she trusted these hands; trusted them with her life.

E!

Roy stood in the corridor outside Elaine's room. The room was already crowded with the three people in there with her at the moment. He hadn't been standing there long when Dr. Brackett looked up and saw him. They made eye contact and he saw Dr. Brackett excuse himself from Elaine's room and step out in the hallway to talk with him.

"How's she doing, Doc?"

"Well, she's weak but," he smiled then at what he was about to say. "When those two are with her, she improves."

He relayed to Roy what he had just witnessed in Elaine's room. Roy had been in the medical profession long enough to know how important tactile stimulation could be so he had no reason to doubt his words. He knew how emotional Johnny had been when he'd realized that she was still alive and he knew that if anyone could reach her and bring her back to her previous state of health, it would be his partner.

It wasn't long before an older red haired nurse shooed Johnny and Dixie out of Elaine's room. The two joined Roy and Kel in the hallway outside her room. It was obvious that both had been crying. Johnny thanked Roy for retrieving his bag and car as they made their way to the ICU waiting room. John wanted to change clothes but right now it was more important to hear what Dr. Brackett had to say about her condition. He could change clothes later.

"John, Dix….she knew you there with her. Did either of you watch the monitors while you were in there?"

When neither of them had he explained to them what he'd seen happen when they touched her and began talking to her. Johnny's emotions began bubbling up to the surface again and Dixie reached over and grasped his hand in hers.

"That's wonderful news, Johnny. Really it is."

"I know…..but they won't let me stay with her. I don't want her to lose ground when we leave, Dix."

Dr. Brackett spoke up as if on cue. "And I'm going to see what I can do about that. She's my patient and I'd like for her to have the two of you with her as much as you can be for the next couple of days. I want to get her condition upgraded quickly….and get her off that vent. I've already ordered IV antibiotics that she'll be starting within the hour." He looked at both Dixie and John then. "I'm not trying to put you two on the spot but how much time do you want me to request for you to be with her?"

Johnny looked directly at Dr. Brackett and without missing a beat he replied, "Forever."