I'm sure you all know what this chapter entails. I was sad writing it because I hate killing little kids even in writing. But I hope I pulled it off well enough even if I didn't want to write it. On a side note in the last chapter I didn't think that the failed seducing at the end would go over so well-I actually debated about taking it out because it was for no reason other than to wrap up the chapter, but I'm glad so many of you thought it was funny! Enjoy :)
BOOM!
I wake up with a start, damn near almost falling out of the tree I was sleeping in. What the fuck? Who's cannon was that? My guess is Jacob, since he is the only non-Career left besides me. But since it's down to the final eight, the six Careers could be getting antsy and break their alliance. I really don't know which one I prefer more at this point. On one hand, I don't think I can be the one to kill Jacob, so it would be good for me if someone else did it already. But on the other hand, if this indicates that the Career alliance is broken, that means that the Careers are officially broken up, meaning that it is all the more likely that someone will find me. Though I guess it's good if they're broken as well because that means there are more targets than just me, and I think I might have a chance to take one or two on myself, but not six. I really don't know what I want it to be.
The rest of the day goes by without any action, or at least on my end. I take down my two remaining snares and relocate about four miles away and set them up again before climbing a tree for the night. As the anthem goes up I see the boy from District 2. The Career pack is officially broken I'm guessing. Down to seven now.
I go to sleep and the next day is much like the day before, except that I'm not awakened by a cannon. In fact, there hasn't been a cannon in over a day and a half-the audience must be getting bored by now. I walk along and around mid-afternoon, I'm checking one of my snares for food when I see someone out of the corner of my eye-Jacob. He looks at me, frozen in place because of his terror. I know what I should do. I know what the audience expects me to do. But as I stare at this thirteen-year-old boy, so scared of me that he couldn't move to save his life, he reminds me so much of Rory. Fuck the audience, fuck the Games.
"Get out of here kid." I tell him, pointing in a random direction. He looks at me incredulous, like he can't believe that I'm letting such an easy kill get away. He smiles in relief and thanks me before running. But as he smiles, he turns into Rory, and Peeta is coming at him with a vengeance to get back at me for letting him die.
"Don't!" I scream in a panic, waking myself up from my nightmare. Shit, I'm still in the Mentor Room, but this must be normal behavior for Victors since no one gives me more than a glance as they go back to their business. Of course I would dream of Jacob now, with Katniss allied with Rue. I particularly don't like reliving that scene because of what I found out what happened at the three hour review of the Games after I won. Yes, I let Jacob go, and I don't regret that-my punishment for not killing him was the mutt attack a few hours later to entertain the audience. But that's not really why I hate that dream. It's because I didn't know that two Careers saw the whole exchange.
I shake off the last dregs of sleep that I still feel even with my panicked awakening, and go take my place at 12's station. I'm beginning to feel like this is my new life, that I will never leave this damn room again. It's like I'm trapped here, and I hate it. I only wish that I was with Katniss in our woods, breathing the fresh air and being in nature. Not surrounded by technology in the Capitol watching her fight for her life in a different woods where I have very little control to help her.
She doesn't do a lot that day; she walks back to her and Rue's fire from the night before and spears two fish. She and Rue had planned to meet back here but Rue isn't there. No, Rue is stuck in her tree that she climbed the day before, scared to get down because Marvel is lurking around, far too close to her for comfort. Katniss climbs a tree and eats a lot of her food, and I can tell that something is wrong with the ear that was bleeding yesterday from the explosion by the way she frowns as she rustles a leaf by it constantly. Is she deaf in that ear from the explosion? Fuck I hope not. Hearing is just as important as a hunter's sense as sight, and maybe even more important a lot of the time. If she's one ear down, that can't be good for her. But there's nothing at all I can do for a deaf ear. Even if there was a medicine for it, the price would be so astronomical at this point that I'm guessing even if everyone here combined sponsor money there still wouldn't be even close to enough. Though I know that the Capitol can fix just about anything with their surgeries and medicine, so when she gets out it will be fixed. Of course that doesn't help her now, but I fucking hope it doesn't deter her too much.
At some point during the afternoon Katniss evidently decided that she's been patient enough waiting for Rue to come so she gets down, leaves mint leaves at their spot as a sign for Rue, and goes looking for her. Rue is also walking along now, because she believes that Marvel is gone. Unfortunately he's not that far away, but she doesn't know that. At least he can't physically see her. Rue decides that she is safe and sends the whistle signal to the mockingjays that she is safe, which Katniss hears and replies back with her own whistle. But then Rue gets caught in a net, and I stop breathing for a minute. Shit, I forgot that the Careers set up their own traps. As long as she stays quiet Marvel might not check the trap and Katniss could find her. But of course that's too much to ask.
"Katniss! Katniss!" Rue shrieks for help. Shit! Don't you know that you will just get Katniss in trouble too? This is exactly why I didn't want her to ally with Rue-she will try to protect her if she gets there the same time as Marvel or before him.
Marvel and Katniss both hear Rue's cries for help, and Marvel grins wickedly as he swiftly moves in Rue's direction.
"Rue! I'm coming!" Katniss calls out, trying to take the focus off the little girl for anyone who might be able to here. Fuck Katniss, don't do that! It's practically suicide! I don't give a shit that you have the bow, you are a bigger target. Why did you fucking have to ally with her? Now protecting her may kill you.
I'm pulling at my hair at this point, trying in vain to keep calm. At least I'm not yelling and screaming out loud-yet. Katniss continues to call for Rue as Rue calls for her. Marvel gets to Rue just seconds before Katniss, and as soon as Katniss is in the clearing Marvel, with a devilish grin, spears the little girl in the stomach as she screams. But before he can do anything else Katniss shoots him in the neck with an arrow. Shit, her first real kill. Sure it was to protect Rue, which was in vain since she's evidently going to die, but it's still her first kill. I knew this was going to happen. I knew it. She's going to have an even harder time with Rue's death than I had with Jacob. But she's a better person than I am; she was trying to protect Rue-I didn't protect Jacob.
The day after the mutt attack and when I let Jacob go, I had set up more snares with the intent of catching a Career. I knew that if there was another slow day that I may very well be the target again, so I had to give the audience a show; I wasn't entirely sure that I could make it if I got attacked again, even with my newly acquired miracle medicine. Late afternoon I heard a girl shriek and knew that I had ensnared one of the Careers. When I got there, the one from District 4 was hanging upside-down by her ankle, and she had dropped her mace on the ground out of reach. When I crept up to her with a knife in hand, she seethed at me.
"This is yours 12? You fucking bastard!" she yells at me. I ignore her and start getting in position to slit her throat. But then I hear a voice behind me.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, twelve." a male voice speaks. I turn around but get behind the ensnared girl with my knife at her throat before looking up. It's Glaze, the District 1 boy. Shit, I thought the District 4 girl was alone. But no, she's not alone-not only is there Glaze, but there is another person with them. Someone that Glaze is holding with his own knife to their throat-Jacob.
"I think I do." I say, never taking my eyes off Jacob. Why the hell is he with the Careers? He looks terrified, which is unsurprising given his current predicament. I later found out that the Careers had seen me help him in training and they were watching us when I let him go yesterday instead of killing him. So when Jacob ran away they caught him quickly, but didn't kill him. No, they planned to use him against me when they found me.
"Oh I really don't think you do." Glaze continues, "You kill her, I kill him."
I freeze where I am, not moving. Shit, how the fuck did they know that I let Jacob go? That I wouldn't kill him. Jacob looks up at me with a hopeful expression, thinking I'll save him like I did before. And I almost do. But then Katniss's voice is whispering a reminder in my head-any means necessary. You have to win. And then I sense it-they won't actually let him go, or probably me for that matter if I comply. I stare at Jacob while Glaze gives me a wicked grin, thinking he has me caught. Jacob reminds me so much of Rory that I want to protect him. But protecting him will be the death of me and probably him as well. So I make my decision. As Glaze begins to laugh at my hesitancy, I slit the District 4 girl's throat.
BOOM!
Glaze falters for a second, but wastes no time in slitting Jacob's throat as I run at full speed for him with my bloody knife in hand. I know that I'm too late to save Jacob, but I can't let the Career get away regardless, especially now that he knows my secret weapon is snares.
BOOM!
I tackle Glaze to the ground and we fight for a few minutes, but since I took him by surprise I have a bit of an advantage. But he gets in a good swipe at my arm as I plunge my knife into his chest and twist it.
BOOM!
I roll off the now dead Glaze and rip a piece of my shirt off to use as a bandage for my cut on my arm. I look over at the little thirteen-year-old Jacob, now dead, and I want to cry. I want to scream, rip out my hair and hurt myself. I can't believe I let him die. I regret more than anything in my life for not even trying to save him, the boy that reminded me so much of my brother. I promised to come home any means necessary, and this just proves I will. I'm not proud of what I did, but at least I'd kept my promise. I whispered sorry to Jacob before leaving, the only chance I would get to make it up to the little boy I didn't try to save again. That's most of the reason his death was so hard for me-that I didn't try to help. I knew he was going to die, but it would have been so much easier if I hadn't seen, or hadn't cared in the first place-then at least the Careers wouldn't have captured him for the purpose of using him against me. It only makes my guilt that much worse.
I come back to the present and see a parallel in Katniss and Rue to me and Jacob. Though the situation is different, it feels remarkably similar to me. Except Rue is still alive for at least a few minutes, and Katniss tried to protect her. Katniss has taken the little girl in her arms.
BOOM!
That one was for Marvel-Rue is still hanging on, but barely. The little girl asks Katniss if she got rid of all the Careers food and Katniss assures her she did, barely holding in her tears.
"You have to win." Rue whispers to Katniss, and she tells her she will in a shaky voice. Yes Katniss, you have to win. You have to. And if you had listened to me you wouldn't be in this situation, though I'm sure she knows that.
"Sing?" Rue asks her as a last request. For a second I think that Katniss is not going to, but I should have known that she would never deny this little dying girl who reminds her so much of Prim anything. She sings Rue to death, and the entire Mentor Room is silent, listening to her. After all this time and even knowing Katniss better than myself sometimes, I have never heard her sing. I never imagined her voice would be so beautiful. It's heartbreaking given the situation I finally hear it in, and I somehow think I love her even more now. Before she finishes the lullaby, Rue closes her eyes and takes her last breath.
BOOM!
Katniss begins to let her tears fall now on the little dead girl still in her arms as she finishes the song. Once she completes the lullaby, the Mentor Room is still silent, some mentors crying along with Katniss. Katniss has brought humanity to an extremely inhumane place, and the effect is immediate and the sadness can almost be felt in this room, and I'm guessing the rest of the country as well. Good, maybe the fucking Capitolites will see what they've done, what they watch year in and year out without so much as a thought to thinking that the tributes are actually people. That children that young shouldn't even be allowed to fucking get reaped.
"What's wrong with you people? She was going to die anyway." Enobaria breaks the silence with, scoffing at those of us under the spell of Katniss's humanity. I shoot her daggers for being such a heartless bitch and I'm about to shout some very choice words at her when someone does something about it. Johanna happened to be walking around and she comes up behind Enobaria and punches her in the neck so hard that Enobaria slumps in her chair unconscious. The whole room stares at Johanna in shock because of what she just did.
"Oh come on I know all of you wanted to do that." Johanna exclaims, rolling her eyes, "I just took the honor." Well I can't say that she's wrong. Thank you Johanna, for once your knockout skills are actually handy and most of this room is grateful.
The room goes back to their business quietly after that, no one calling the peacekeepers because they know Johanna is right. She comes back to 12's station and sits down with a smirk on her face.
"Thanks for that from everyone." I tell her. Perhaps Johanna actually has some sympathy and compassion in her.
"You know, for once I actually agree with her, but I'm not stupid enough to say it out loud. Plus she's just a bitch and now everyone knows it." she says and turns to watch the center screen. Well, maybe she doesn't have any sympathy left. Still, I can't disagree with the results of her actions, so I guess I'll let it slide.
The center screen is focused on Thresh now, I'm guessing because they don't want people to see Katniss crying over Rue dying more than they have to. But then I see the real reason-Katniss is gathering flowers, and she's decorating Rue with them. I can't believe that she's doing this-it's so downright rebellious and humane that surely the Gamemakers are angry with her and annoyed that they cannot take Rue's body yet. I for one am proud of her. She's doing what I didn't for Jacob-honoring the children that shouldn't have been in the Games, shouldn't have had to die. Though the Gamemakers are making sure the country doesn't see, the mentors can from my screen and many do, staring at it from behind me where they gather. But the country will see when they take her body away in a hovercraft, and they will all know Katniss did it. Once Katniss has covered Rue's wound and braided flowers in her hair, she makes a bouquet and places it in the little girl's hands. But then as an afterthought almost, she unwinds the purple cord from her wrist, cuts about half off with her knife, and makes a second bouquet for Rue to hold. She's doing it for me, for Jacob. She's giving me a signal that she's making up for my lack of honor for Jacob that I regret so much, I know she is. It's also a signal to me that she knows she should have listened to me, because I knew it would be hard for her if she cared.
As Rue's body is lifted and Katniss gives her District 12's three finger salute, I know that she has made a difference in these Games. I can only hope that helps her instead of harms her.