Chapter 24 – Dinner (part two)
Chapter 24 – Dinner (part two)
I stared into Edward's eyes, watching his thoughts flicker in them. I wondered vaguely if he would actually eat the food Alice had ordered for us, or if he had someplace he intended to hide it.
I laughed as I imagined him sticking a lamb shank in his pocket with a grimace in my direction.
"What?" He asked smiling. I shook my head, my face reddening as I tried not to laugh again. "Bella please, you'll make me think the worst if you don't tell me."
I shook my head again, and smiled as our enthusiastic waiter returned with two glasses of water and a basket contained bread, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar.
"Here you go. Your dinner will be ready shortly. Enjoy Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."
Of course I blushed again. I had the strangest sensation that the rest of the weekend would comprise of me blushing profusely.
"Do I even look old enough to be married?" I wondered aloud.
"You could pass for nineteen if you tried." Edward suggested. "Though really you only have to be eighteen to get married you know."
My jaw dropped as I looked at him, wondering why on earth he would have a need to know that. I hummed, looked away before his eyes trapped mine again. I reached for the bread basket, pouring the oil and vinegar onto the plate before taking the appetizer.
"Honestly Bella!" He huffed, watching my slow motions. "Will you please tell me what you're thinking before I lose what little sanity I have left after having met you?"
My head was swimming with thoughts and images, those I could entertain, and those I could not. Marriage… it seemed to be on his mind. He enjoyed all the all the hotel employees calling us Mr. and Mrs.
"I'm thinking a lot of things." I said trying to find a way to express, or explain without hurting his feelings. I could undoubtedly stay with him forever, I knew this, and yet marriage was something I couldn't even allow in my thoughts.
"Bella…"
"I'm thinking, hold on."
"Don't think about it, just tell me. The more you think the more you edit!" he accused.
"But if I don't word it right you'll get the wrong idea." I said. "Just give me a second."
Edward sighed as I picked up my roll, dipping it in the oil and vinegar, before nibbling on it.
Then the thought struck me. I turned in my seat, facing him directly. His elbow was on the table, supporting his head and he watched me.
"Edward, we've hardly known one another for more than two months. Not even that really. But I know in my heart that I could be with you, forever if you'd have me." I took a breath, gauging his reaction. "However, I spent my entire childhood, with Renée telling me that marriage is a horrible institution, a huge waste of money for a piece of paper that simply states "These two people are in love and therefore must be stuck with one another until one or both die."
Edward scoffed at this, his face looking sad. He wasn't entirely used to me going off on tangents, and this probably had him worried.
"I could be with you forever Edward, without a second thought. But I've never seen myself as the marrying type. Charlie always says that I'm like Renée, I'm constant. Once I make up my mind to do something, or not do something, or to be with some forever, It's hardly possible to deter me."
Edward held a finger to my lips, a soft smile masking his concerned eyes. "Bella… I love you. In a way you will never understand. For us, when change comes, it's permanent, unchangeable. But you have to keep in mind that I am dangerous, especially to you."
It was my turn to stop him. I placed my hand on his cold cheek, a shock of electricity ran from my palm, over my entire body. I whispered "If you were going to do it Edward, I wouldn't be here. But I am here. So obviously, I'd rather die than be away from you."
His expression perturbed, he pulled his face away from me. "Bella," he groaned. "Please don't say things like that. Please."
The waiter, Sammy, returned just then, two plates with beautiful racks of cabernet lamb in either hand.
"Here we go, two raw, drunken sheep at your request." He said smiling. Short order terminology in a restaurant this classy threw me off guard.
"Thank you Sammy." I said
"No problem, let me know if you need anything else." He smiled once more and walked away
I returned my gaze to Edward, who was now staring at the food, with the same pained expression. "Are you really going to eat that? Or is Alice going to have to wash lamb stains from your pants pockets?"
He rolled his eyes and tore a shank off, bringing it to his mouth and tearing the meat off with his teeth. I watched as he chewed slowing, watching the patrons enter the restaurant.
Once he had swollowed he turned to look at me again. "It's part of the charade, we have to keep up appearances. Seem to be be what we're not. It isn't the most pleasant part of the act, but we still have to do it occasionally." He explained, taking another bite of the meat.
"It doesn't seem fair if you ask me." I said, thinking aloud again. "You didn't have to do this if it was going to make you uncomfortable."
"I wanted to. You deserve to have a night out, a real dinner, a real date. I can pretend to be real for your sake."
I grabbed his free hand and smiled brightly. "You feel pretty real to me, oh wonderous imaginary date."
Edward laughed. "You know what I mean."
"Nope, not a clue." I said plainly, moving my hand back to his face. "You're here, you're real, you're corporeal. That's all I need." I moved myself closer, scooting my body up and kissing him on the cheek.
"As you, are all I will ever need." Edward replied, looking at me seriously. "Bella? Can I keep you?"