(Okay, I don't own. And if your Salamence is named Ace, leave me alone. I named mine the same thing. God, I hate myself. I should've named her Gywnyvere or something. The Wonder Pokemon Trio make an appearance. This is what happens when you get sick, and have nothing to do but make fun of kid's cartoons.)

We're flying. I love flying, did I mention that? I do. It's the best. Szeren is speeding us to Mossdeep, and all is at peace. Sachiko is teaching Harley and Cacturne how to play poker. Wigglytuff seems deep in thought. But about what? I decide it's better for my mental health if I don't ask.

We're almost to Mossdeep. I can hear Harley swearing not too far from me; he's just lost pretty bad, like. Ah, well. I stretch, and slide off Szeren. I see Crash, first.

She's waving like a maniac, and in her arms is Faris, a few bandages peeking out of his shirt, but otherwise okay. I grin. Harley reaches her first, and swings her up. "Crash! Oh, sweetie, you're okay!" She nods, and then sighs.

"No hi to your future brother-in-law?" He pivots. Hands on his hips, (ignoring the rest of us, giggling like idiots over by Szeren), he announces, "Excuuuse me! I think not! You're ten!" Faris raises an eyebrow.

"And this coming from the man who refuses to date the woman he loves, won't even tell her, this even though they're both actually teenagers." I interrupt this little pissing contest before Harley kills him, and say hurriedly, "Crash, did you catch any new pokemon?" She nods.

"Faris got a Sableye, Gemaline. And I, well..." She releases a Spheal. It goes spinning around in circles as soon as he's called.

"Whhheeeeeeeeeee!!!! I LIKE TOASTS, I SEZ!! MAKE ME A SAMMICH!" He squeals, spinning like crazy in circles. "..." We all stare in horrified silence. "Yeah. His name's—"

"Crackwhore?" I suggest. She glares at me. "He named himself. He is Franklyn Metro Gerard Charles Xavier Baudelaire. The fifteenth." I raise an eyebrow.

"Franklyn Metro Gerard Charles Xavier Baudelaire. The fifteenth." I'm at a loss for words. For one, WTF? Two, who would name FIFTEEN pokemon this?!! WHO?!

"Esquire." She finishes. I sigh. "Oh, god." She shakes her head.

"Though Crackwhore would've suited him just as well. Are you all ready for the Contest?" I nod. "Last one before the Grand Festival!" I know I have to win this.

(A/N: Because the authoress says so, like.) If not, then no Grand Festival. No chance to pound Harley into green-and-purple mush. I shudder at the thought.

Franklyn Metro Gerard Charles Xavier Baudelaire the fifteenth, (Esquire), stops at my feet.

"Hi I like toast will you make me a sammich I like sammiches I like sheep do you like sheep why doesn't sheep have a plural and what does Medulla Oblongata mean because I don't know, and—"

I stare at this Spheal, who shows no signs of stopping to care he has a giant run-on sentence going on.

Suddenly, Harley kicks him, sending the Spheal flying like a blue and cream soccer ball. "Big brother! Wha' the fuckity-fuck!?!" Crash swears. Harley points in silence to the water. Franklyn Metro Gerard Charles Xavier Baudelaire the fifteenth, (Esquire), was bobbing happily in the water. "Wheee!" She glares at him, and turns. "Well, shall we go to the Space Center?" I shrug.

"I'm game. We've got time." Crash nods, and recalling Franklyn Metro Gerard Charles Baudelaire, (Okay, hold up! It's Metro. Because my fingers are cramping up.) Okay, so she recalls Metro, and we're off.

As we board the elevator, I sigh, and stare up at the expanse of blue sky. I wish I knew what was up there. Whether or not that Entei wanted me whacked still. I think he was cutting my seizures off. I hadn't had one in ages. So, maybe he knew I could see them when I had one?

I was interrupted by Wigglytuff's yelling about something he saw in the sky. "People, seriously! Giant thing at two o'clock!" We were all gazing dreamily at the other side of the sky. "When we all die, they're gonna be so sorry." Wigglytuff hisses to Banette. A bit early for that, but he was close.

A giant burst of aura envelops the building. There's now a giant ship outside, and the window's broken. Not good. "What the HELL!?" I scream. "WHAT NOW?!"

"Boss! Boss! There she is!" I hear a woman's voice through the smoke. "I see." A man with spiky blue hair steps forward. "Hello, Lucy. I hate to intrude, but would you mind coming with me?" I know who he is. Galactic Boss Cyrus.

The crazy man who said he could open space and time with a Pokemon. As if he reads my thoughts, he says, "Since using Diagla and Palkia did not work, this time, I need to use you. You can open space and time, can you not?" I shake my head vigorously. "I don't know what you're talking about!" He frowns slightly.

"I see. Well, we can just force it out of you—Saturn, if you please." A man with forked blue hair glances at me, and grins. He steps forward—

"We're the Wonder Pokemon! Come to save the day! Or something!" I blink. What the hell...

It's Mesprit, Uxie, and Azelf. "Uh, hi?" I say, a bit freaked out. "Lucy! Hi! You don't know us, but we're the ones who kinda... well, got you into this mess, and, uh... yeah. So we're here to save you. Or something." Mesprit chirrups.

I want to die from embarrassment. This is who I get as a cavalry. Three pokemon, who are a bad rip-off of the Wonder Pets, apparently. I didn't even think they aired it in Hoenn.

"She's screwed." Harley mutters. They form a circle around me. "Yeah, so, well, Uxie lied. She can't do shit; she's useless as fuck." Azelf says. "Fuck you!" I yell angrily.

"Make me!" He shoots back. Uxie raises an eyebrow. (I think. Fucker's got slits for eyes.)

"That's just insane." Azelf whacks his brother over the head with his tail, and they all begin to argue. I sit in the middle of the bickering trio, and stare at Cyrus and his Commanders. "Go ahead. Try."

He reaches in to pull me out, when they realize they're supposed to be rescuing me, and they shoot a humongous Psywave at him. He flies back a good ten feet. "Damn. So force isn't working." He turns, and before I can register a thing, he's got a knife to Harley's neck. "So what the fuck, let's go for a hostage situation."

Harley screeches, "Hey, back the fuck up here! I am a man, damnit! No matter how feminine I may be, I should not be the one held hostage!" I raise an eyebrow.

"Sexism aside, I'm the one trying not to be kidnapped. They can't use me as a hostage." He's at a loss for words.

"What about May?" He offers. May shrieks, "HEY!" and hits Drew.

"What the fuck!? What did I do?" He roars. May huffs. "I can't hit him, can I?"

Cyrus seems to be rethinking this insanity. He doesn't see Erose sneak up behind him. I do, and I grin. "What are you laughing at—"

"Erose, Poisonpowder!" I shriek. He releases a cluster of purpley spores, which land on Cyrus and the Commanders. "Now Razor Leaf!" I order him quickly. He shoots out a bunch of shuriken-leaves, and strikes them all in the head. "Scram, bitches! Or I'll get my posse on you!" His 'posse' is a cluster of plastic plants. He never learned.

As Cyrus turns to step back onto the waiting ship, he glares at me. "You're dead the next time we meet, kid. I will get space and time to open, if I have to kill you to do it." Then they're gone. I sigh. "Erose saved the day. Who knew?"

Harley's still muttering indignantly about his hostage-ness. I glare at him. "Shut up. Just shut up, before I think I might kill myself." He does so.

"Fuck, this place is ruined." Drew notes. I sigh. "Well, it can't get worse—"

A giant Metagross comes crashing through the wall.

"Fuck." I sigh. Steven Stone is on top of the giant metal beast... thing. Yeah. Thing. "What on earth happened here?" I look around. Uxie, Mesprit, and Azelf are all still there, arguing. "Guys! Mind explaining this?!" I yell. They turn to look at me.

"Right. Okay, so, this dude Cyrus, he was like, let's kidnap Lucy, because Uxie lied and said she can open space and time, the sonofabitch, and now, like, well we saved her. Well, her Bulbasaur saved her, but you get the point. So, like, it's ruined. Yeah." Mesprit says hurriedly. Steven is just stunned.

"Lucy Saxon." I nod. "That'd be me. Nice to meet you, but under the circumstances..." He nods. "Charmed. I need to alert the League; there's been reports of Aqua and Magma surfacing again, and I think it's gonna be bad." I nod, already sickened.

He sweeps me over. "You know... you look like a girl I fought with, once. She had the same name as you. And the eyes. You wouldn't happen to be..." I don't know whether or not to tell him the truth.

"Maybe." I say clearly. He nods. "Then we're going to need your help again this time around." He turns back to Metagross, and now they're both off. Harley blinks. "Great way to spend the day, huh?" Crash kicks him. Mesprit, Azelf, and Uxie all salute me, and disappear.

We head out of the burnt and ruined top floor of the Space Station, and rush right to the shopping center. Thankfully, no one there tries to blow us up, but Wigglytuff keeps saying, 'I told you so!' , until Ariados tied him up with String Shot.

Yeah.

The afternoon passed quickly, and soon enough, we were back at the Contest Hall. I ask Erose if he wants to Appeal or fight. "Hell no on the Appeal. I'll fight, if ya want." I nod. "Okay, sure." I decide to get dressed earlier, and I throw on a simple black top, and a champange-lace-and-black skirt. I decide against makeup, and I browse through my PC.

"Hmmm..." I never thought I'd have so many pokemon at my disposal. I have five boxes worth. I need strong pokemon for the Grand Festival. I wince, hating myself. I was probably going to send Erose to Oak's Lab. But May had her Bulbasaur there, so I figured he'd be fine. And an abundance of real plants, hopefully.

I scroll through. I have issues with Dragon Pokemon. I want my Salamence, Ace-Face. Well, Ace, really. She was such a friggin bitch to raise. Level 50. From what was a level fifteen Bagon. So I withdrew her.

I walk outside to the training field, and throw up her pokeball. "Ace-Face, spotlight!" She zooms out, and careens over the field. Glorious wings. I had always felt so bad for Bagon, and I was thrilled when I found out that someday, they could indeed have wings.

All the Coordinators stop and stare at Ace. Why not? She's a Salamence; pretty fuckin' rare. I see a few kids training Shelgon, and these Coordinators are staring at me with envy. I sigh. "I know, it's a bitch."

Ace lights down. "Mommy, look! You gave me wings!" I nod slowly. "Looks like. Are you ready to try Contests?" She thinks. "I guess. Can I fly?" I come up with a plan, and nod, already thinking of our victory. "Indeed. You can fly."

After I head back inside, I keep Ace-Face a secret. I feel guilty, but then I just don't care. As usual. There are a lot more crowds this time. I see so many people, and I can't help but feel a bit nervous.

I shake my head, and steel myself for my Appeal. I shiver, as he calls name after name. And then I curse when Harley is first. He sticks his tongue out, and prances out, for the love of christ. I sigh, and watch him throw out the first pokeball on his belt. "Octillery, let's go! Fire Blast!" He orders the octopus, who complies.

Sucking in a giant breath, he exhales a stream of flames, which splits five times to form a star. But the star soon slopes downward, and becomes a five-pronged cage.

With that in mind, you'll know exactly why I was screaming his name when he stepped through the pillars of fire.

He heard my screams, and tilted his head to look at me. Grinning, he blew me a kiss, and yelled, "Don't worry, dollface!" I groaned, and just gave up. It was the thing he was going to call me for what was most likely eternity.

Fuck.