Set Fire to the Rain
Chapter 25
BELLA
My memory just didn't do this justice.
Edward's lips were on mine and I couldn't get enough of him. Our kiss was long and passionate, but gentle and full of love and promise. I needed to be closer to him and ran my hands up and under his t-shirt. His back was strong and defined and when I moved my hand around to the front, all my memories assaulted me; his chest hair, oh, god, and his happy trail. Suddenly, he stopped the kiss and moved me away from him, his hands now on either side holding the tops of my arms.
"I'm not going to fuck you, Bella, not here, not like this. I promised myself that if I got you back alive, I was going to do this properly and I am. We need to talk before there's anything more physical between us. So once you get the all clear, we'll go home and deal with everything like we said we would. Okay?"
His words stung and I could feel the tears spring into my eyes. The tears did not come, though, because I knew he was right, but he felt so good, and when we kissed, everything else just disappeared. I still felt rejected, however. I did not put myself in this situation ever and to be rejected like this was, well, embarrassing. His eyes searched mine for clues and I was tempted to run. The only thing stopping me was that I was half naked and not well enough to run anywhere on my own just yet. I guessed I would have to suck it up.
"I suppose so," I told him looking down at my feet.
Turning from him, I struggled into my pants and then realized that I still needed his help with my sweater. He came willingly when he saw my predicament. Like the gent he was, he held open the neck wide while I manoeuvred my way in.
"Hey, please don't be upset with me. I'm trying to do the right thing here for once in my life. I want you, Bella, don't ever doubt that, but I want us more. I need us to be okay and that talk we said we'd have is more important to me right now than sex. Please try to understand, love. I made a right mess of this whole thing for four years; please don't let me mess it up again."
He sounded so sincere and once again, I knew he was right. To let him know I understood, I walked back into his waiting arms and rested my head on his chest.
"Thank you, for believing in me and having faith in us. I really do want us, Bella, all of it," he said quietly and I knew I wanted it, too.
When he leant his forehead against mine, I gave in, resenting him stopping, but deep down I knew he was right. It was just that I wanted him so desperately and I wanted him to want me that way, too. Of course, I knew he did, the ever-present bulge in his jeans confirmed that. He was just better at controlling himself than me.
Slowly, I moved away and finished dressing like I should have before I called him in. When I was ready, I felt a little light-headed. I didn't know if it was from all the exertions so far today or from a lack of food. I swayed a little and grabbed a hold of him to prevent me going down and doing myself yet another mischief.
"Bella, love, are you okay? Do you want me to get Angela?" he sounded petrified and I knew I needed to put his mind at ease.
"Edward, I'm okay, a little light-headed, but nothing else. I think all the exertions have been a little too much too soon. Will you come back to the hospital tent with me?"
"Of course, why would you even ask?"
"It's just that you said now that I was okay, you need not stay so close, but I'd like you to if that's okay?"
"Hey, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Remember that, please, for future reference. If you need me nearby, I'm there."
When he took my hand in his, I immediately felt one hundred percent better. All the fuzziness in my head disappeared and I could not stop a wry smile from crossing my face.
He looked puzzled when he saw me smiling, but he did not say anything. We walked slowly back to the hospital tent in silence. Being together was enough for both of us, for now at least.
I sat in his chair and he perched on my bed. His hand never left mine and I liked it. I wanted to talk to him today about Riley Biers, but I knew he would try to put me off. I was ready, though. I was okay now, I needed to deal with the Riley issue head on before it fucked with my mind any more.
"Edward, can we talk seriously for a few minutes? I promise it's not about us."
"Okay," he sounded worried.
Taking a deep breath, I dove in feet first. "So, I was kind of wondering where Riley Biers is and I wondered if I could see him. I have a few things I want to say to him first-hand."
A loud gasp came from poor Edward's mouth as he heard my question.
"He's not going anywhere, don't you worry your pretty little head about him. I'll deal with him when the time is right, don't you worry, love. You're not going within a mile of where he is so don't even ask."
"If he's still on base, Edward, it's under a mile already. I need to do this. Thank you for wanting to protect me, but this is something I have to do for me. I need to see the pitiful piece of scum just once again and have my say. I want to see him squirm when he sees that I've survived. You can be with me if you like, but you have to let me do the talking and you have to promise me that you'll hold your temper, no matter what he says. Can you do that for me?"
"You aren't seeing him yet, Bella. You're not up to a slanging match with the likes of him. If you think that this is what you need to get some closure, fine, and yes I will come with you, but not yet. Angela said you have to rebuild your strength, and look what happened after you took a shower on your own. I'll not risk your health, Bella. Now that I've got you back, I will not risk anything happening to you again. You understand why I can't let you put yourself at risk don't you?"
Wringing my hands on my lap and keeping my head down, I nodded. I heard as well as felt him scuttle closer. When his hand gently lifted my chin so that I was looking right into his eyes, I could see the emotion right there. I wondered for a fleeting moment how I never saw the love there before. I knew I wasn't looking for love, wanting only to see the bad in him for hurting me, and yes, he did hurt me, but if I had only taken the time and trouble to look at him; well, we might not be where we were today.
"Hey, don't you dare feel anything but glad to be alive, glad to be here with me right now getting better. Do you understand me?"
"I know. I'm sorry for making you worry. It's just that I want to make Riley fucking Biers suffer like Bill and I did. In fact, when you let me speak to him, I'd like Bill to be there, too."
"Oh, I think that can be arranged. Now, I think you've been up for long enough, how about some proper rest so that when Angela comes back later to start your physio, you're up to it?"
He pulled me up and quickly swapped places with me. I did feel tired, but I was not going to tell him that. I didn't want him fussing over me any more than he was already.
"Will you come up here and lay with me?" I ask him quietly; almost afraid he would say no.
He looked so torn when my eyes eventually plucked up enough courage to meet his. The love was still twinkling in there, but now I could see pain and confusion, too, and he looked hurt and I didn't want that. "You don't have to, Edward, it's just that I feel safer with your arms wrapped around me and I kind of like it when we're that close. It eases my mind, a lot."
"Bella, I love you, please don't ever doubt that. I know we've yet to talk about the last few years, but please know it'll happen soon, I promise. Now, I'd love to lay with you, but after getting caught once already, do you think it's wise?" he asked laughing.
"I don't care who sees or who comments, Edward, I just need you with me."
I moved over, making room for him. We did not get under the covers and were both still fully clothed, but somehow it felt more intimate than if we were both naked. Well, I could always tell myself that couldn't I?
He snuggled in behind me and wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling me even closer. I felt totally at peace when I felt his warm breath on the back of my neck and I about swooned when I felt his lips place gentle kisses just under my ear.
"Go to sleep, sweet girl, I'll still be here when you wake up. I love you, Bella; always have, always will."
I could not resist whispering back to him, "I love you, too, Edward, forever." I pushed myself closer to him feeling content as the darkness took over.
Okay, so I know it's short, but that's because the next one contains the confrontation with Riley and to add it here would have been wrong.
Show me the lurve and I'll show you Riley getting his comeuppance sooner rather than later.
Also, head on over to my other story, Life Is So Unfair. Dollybigmomma has been working her fingers to the bone helping me get it beta'd and reposted, so please leave me a review and let me and Dolly know how we're doing!