Incoming

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Not even the computer I wrote it on.

Summary: Jess shows up at Richard and Emily's vow renewal. Luke has something to say about it. Rory is less than happy. Lorelai has to deal with Christopher. And the day is definitely not everything Emily hoped it would be.

Feedback: Reviews are fun. Like a barrel of monkeys. Why anyone would put monkeys in a barrel…I don't know, but it's supposedly a lot of fun.

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"Hey, Sook." Lorelai greeted her best friend as she entered the kitchen at The Dragonfly.

"Hey." Sookie waved a wooden spoon in the direction of a package on the counter. "That came for you about an hour ago. Michel was being all snooty and French, so Kirk dropped it in here."

She picked up the coffee pot and filled a mug. "He's back on his mailman route already?"

"Yea. Ralph dislocated his shoulder a couple days ago."

"And…?" Lorelai said expectantly.

"And my doctor said my shoulder is fine." She mumbled sheepishly.

She nodded knowingly as she walked over to the counter where her package was. "There's no return address."

"Ooh." Sookie gasped. "Maybe it's a bomb."

She shrugged. "Probably."

"Well, open it."

"I say it's probably a bomb and you say open it?"

"Lorelai."

"Okay. I'm opening it." She grabbed a knife and cut open the tape then dumped the contents of the box onto the counter. A large velvet box fell out followed by a folded piece of paper.

"What is it?" Sookie asked.

"I don't know." Lorelai unfolded the paper, her eyes quickly filling with tears as she read the short note. She put it back on the counter and reached for the box. A large smile spread across her face when she opened the lid. "Oh my God."

"What?" Sookie asked, walking around the counter.

"She said congratulations."

"Who?"

"My mother."

Sookie picked up the box and looked at the tiara inside. "Why would your mother send you a tiara?"

"Because my head is too big for a veil." She smiled.

"Yay?" She questioned. When Lorelai nodded she said more enthusiastically, "Yay!"

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Rory groaned at the knock at the door. Jess wasn't supposed to be there for another half hour, and she was still getting dressed. "Uhh, just…it's open!" When she heard the door open and shut, she quickly put on her lipstick and pulled a low cut t-shirt over her head. "You know," She said suggestively, pulling her bedroom door open. "Paris is at Doyle's for the night, so the place is all-" She froze when she got to the living room. "Dad."

"Hey, kiddo." Christopher smirked at the blush spreading across her face.

"I…You're not…I thought you were someone else."

"Oh, thank God. For a minute I thought you killed you mother."

"What?"

"Oedipus. Killed his father, married his mother. I admit, not my best, but it was the first thing that came to mind."

"Oh, right." She shook her head. "Yea. So, what are you doing here?"

"Hey, I put on white gloves and tails for you. I think that entitles me to stop by without an explanation."

"I would have expected the 'I helped give you life' excuse."

"I always thought that was a little overused."

"So…"

"What?"

She raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "I desperately need a grown-up to talk to. As opposed to popular belief, Gigi is not a great conversationalist. Come on, we're going out. Coffee and burgers."

"I can't. I'm waiting for Jess."

"I'm not leaving so you can have sex with your boyfriend."

"Dad!"

"What, you think I don't know what's going on? I used to be twenty. Now, let's go. You can leave Jess a note."

"Fine." She relented. "Just let me get my jacket."

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Luke parked his truck behind Lorelai's car and started walking towards the house when a guy he recognized as a waiter from the inn ran out the front door like the house was on fire.

"Hey, Luke." He said as he ran across the lawn.

"Hi." Luke said, confused. He watched him run until he was out of sight then made his way up the porch steps and into the house. "Jesus." He said after he took off his coat. "It's freezing." He went to turn up the thermostat when Lorelai jumped in front of him.

"No. Don't turn it up."

"Lorelai, it's forty degrees in here."

"Oh, it's not that cold." She looked at the thermostat. "See it's forty-two."

He looked down at the short, low-cut black dress she had on, then back up at her face. "Why are you all dressed up?"

"Cause it's pretty." She said, fingering the hem.

He narrowed his eyes at her when he heard the back door open and close. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." She answered quickly,

"Really?" He started for the living room, but she blocked his path then grabbed his head to pull his lips down to hers.

He smiled as he pulled away, then turned her around and put his hands on her shoulders as he walked them both to the living room.

She closed her eyes and let out a sigh when they stopped. "Surprise?"

"Lorelai…" He breathed, looking around the room. All the furniture had been pushed to the side of the room and the kitchen table, with a partially set-up dinner on top of it, sat in front of the fireplace, which had a few small, pitiful flames just starting to burn.

"I wanted to do something nice." She said. "But since I can't cook, I called Sookie and she came over to make a really great dinner. I'm not sure what she made, but everything Sookie makes is amazing, so I didn't ask what it was. And I thought it would be nice to light a fire but it was too warm, so I turned down the thermostat, and it's been forty degrees in here for two hours – and I'm so cold – because all I have are those easy-light logs from the inn, and it turns out the reason I couldn't light it that time at the inn wasn't just because I was nervous, I'm just pathetic and can't light the damn things. And I called the kitchen at the inn and Ben answered so I made him come over here and light it for me, but then I heard your truck and I didn't want you to know I couldn't start a fire by myself, so I made him run out of the house but he went out the front door instead of the back. And everything is just all messed up."

He moved his hands off her shoulders to slide his arms around her waist. "It's perfect."

"Dinner's not even finished."

"It doesn't matter."

"Our electric bill is gonna be enough to make Warren Buffet cry like a little girl."

He smiled and turned her around. "Tell ya what, how about you go upstairs and put on something warmer, I'll go to the back porch and tell Sookie she can go home, and then we can put the furniture back and eat something that you have dump out of a bag and put in the oven."

Her eyes lit up at the thought of frozen food. "I'm gonna hold you to that mister."

"Alright. But tomorrow you're eating vegetables."

She gasped. "Cruel. Unusual."

"Go get changed."

She walked to the stairs but stopped half way up. "Just for that, we're having curly fries and waffle fries." She announced before disappearing upstairs.

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"He's here." Rory said with a roll of her eyes when she saw Jess walk into the pub.

"Oh, great." Christopher said excitedly as he stood up. "I've always wanted to do this." He grinned and walked away from the table.

"You're twelve." Rory said, shaking her head. She looked back at Jess and saw him walking towards her table.

"Hey." He said, leaning down to kiss her. "I got your note." He sat in the chair next to her. "Why'd you want to meet here?"

"Oh, well-"

"Hey," Christopher put two mugs down on the table, his attention seemingly on Rory. "I forgot how you take your coffee so I just brought everything." Suddenly he looked over at Jess. "Oh, hey. I didn't know we had company."

Rory gave him a look that all but screamed 'you need help' then put on a fake smile. "Dad, this is Jess. Jess, this is my dad."

"Hey," He held his hand out for Jess to shake. "Rory's told me all about you. It's great to finally meet you."

"Yea," Jess said, taking his hand. "You too."

"Well, hey," He said. "Let me get you a drink." He started towards the bar then stopped and turned back to Jess. "On the other hand, maybe you should get it. I made a crack about Cheers. It didn't go over too well."

"Yea. I'll be right back."

Christopher watched him walk to the bar, then sat down next to Rory.

"You made a crack about Cheers?"

He grimaced a little. "Okay, seven."

"Did you call him Sam?"

"No…Yes."

"You know, I'm gonna need so much therapy when I'm older."

"Hey, that is at least fifty percent your mother's fault."

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"Alright." Rory walked into the diner and set her laptop on the table next to her mother. "You are not putting it off anymore. It's been three weeks since you went to lunch with Grandpa and you haven't even thought about the invitations or calling the florist or-"

"Hello my gorgeous, gorgeous mother." Lorelai said. "Seeing you this fine morning has just brightened up my day. And I don't know how I went a whole five days without being in your glorious presence."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, I thought that was a much nicer greeting."

She rolled her eyes and sat down. "C'mon. We're working on wedding plans. Pick something."

"Or, you can tell me how dinner with Jess and Chris was."

"Mom…"

"It's been what, six days?"

"I was going to tell you."

"Why didn't you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought it would be better to keep the Dad part of my life separate from the rest of it. I just don't want him doing any more damage."

"Hon, just because your dad and I aren't on the best terms right now, it doesn't mean we can't talk about him. And you should know by now, that as your mother, I have the right to know about all the situations that could possibly be embarrassing for your boyfriend."

She smiled. "Jess spent a lot of time at the bar."

"Well, you can drive the best of us to drink." She joked.

Rory rolled her eyes. "He wasn't drinking. I think he wants the bartender to come work for him when the club opens."

"Really? Who is this guy, Brian Flanagan?"

"His name's Simon. And I don't think it was his bartending skills. Though, they were respectable."

"Was it his body?"

She shook her head. "He's very sarcastic. He matched Jess jab for jab. That apparently something he likes in a person."

"A point I'd have to agree with him on. And how was Chris's behavior?"

"Dad was at his finest last night. Well, other then the Cheers jokes."

She looked disappointed. "He didn't."

"I know. It's so below him."

"He called the bartender Sam, didn't he?"

"Four times."

"He's really losing his touch."

She shrugged. "They can't all have our quick wit."

Lorelai put her arm around her daughter. "We are a rare breed, my dear."