Abolish

Rachel

"It's not my fault she puked, or that puking was the only thing that made her feel better."

- Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

After her first night, Rachel finds the hospital incredibly dull. After all, it's just a routine. The nurse checks her vitals every hour. She stares out the window or at TV infomercials. Her dads stay with her most of the day, creating chatter, not even attempting to ask just how she got so sick. No one asks, and she's not telling.

Of course, she's done research on this. They have to give you a psychiatric evaluation and a physical evaluation to determine if you have an "eating disorder" – which she doesn't. No one's testing her for anything right now; they're just trying to get her stable. Once that happens, she'll probably go home, no questions asked.

Curious minds still wonder, and she can't control other people's thoughts. That's a problem. Sooner or later, there will be inquiries. Just how she will deflect them is still a mystery.

Right now, she hates the drip in her arm, pumping her full of water, full of weight. She hates the fact that she's required to eat three meals a day, and if she doesn't people will start asking questions. She hates her stupid body for failing and putting her here. She hates everyone.

Really, she just wants to be left alone.

But no, she can't be alone. Not only is she trapped by nurses and doctors, but she can't escape from visitors. And today, while her fathers are on their afternoon coffee break in the hospital cafeteria, Finn comes wandering in, bouquet of flowers in tow.

"Hey, Rachel," he smiles, coming over to her bedside and leaning over to kiss her on the forehead.

Really, she loves him. She's always loved him. She just never wanted him to see her like this.

"Finn. You came?"

"Of course I came. I'd kinda be a jerk if I didn't visit my girlfriend in the hospital."

She stares at the IV in her forearm, "It's just a little embarrassing to have you see me so helpless."

"You shouldn't be embarrassed," he reaches out and takes her hand, "You're going to get better and we'll have the whole summer together. That's all that matters."

Rachel squeezes his hand softly and the two sit in silence. She wonders just how he can be so calm about the situation. How he can still care about her when she was weak enough to get herself put in here. She was going to be great. She was going to lose weight and be everything he wanted and win every award… and now she's here. She's stuck here. A failure.

"I don't care if you're fat."

"… excuse me?" her face pales. He thinks she's fat.

"I looked it up… everything says that's not really what this is about. It's not about me. I just thought you should know. I don't care what you look like. I still love you, and I'm not gonna abandon you."

"That's… sweet, Finn, but there's nothing wrong with me."

"But Quinn-"

Quinn. Of course it's Quinn. Everything seems to go back to Quinn…

"Quinn lied."

"Rachel… you're sick. I really don't think she'd make all that up…"

"Oh, so you're siding against me now?"

"No… I'm not. I'm just worried…"

"You have no reason to be worried."

"You're in the hospital!"

"And I'm going home in a few days and I'll be fine!"

He doesn't say anything to that. She looks him in the eyes, reaching out to brush his cheek. He flinches a little at her gauze covered, needle infested hand, but reaches up and grabs it anyway.

"Listen… I love you, and we're going to be okay, I promise."

For once, she means it. At least, she wants to mean it. She wants it to be okay. If everything goes according to plan, it will be.

She's going to get out of here, and she's going to get thin. She's going to have it all.

Sorry this one's short!