Hey peoples!
REVIEWS
"Leviathan48"- Yep, favorite tricks ;)
"rainpool77"- I give hope in this chapter.
Pianodevotion- So true.
"RedBirdSong"- I know, weird huh?
"walkswithwheels"- Yeah, I give a possible instrument of healing in this chapter, doesn't mean anything definite though.
"Spottedmist"- When did you figure that out? :)
"Macdisney123"- they always do in the canon series...
leafie- totally.
Dawnfeather- time already ran out ;)
Shadowhawk540- making points on a story is always so troublesome.
Lazy Watermelon- I miss him too, *sniff*
Eaglefeather- Its so great to hear from you again! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
Troy- that'd complicate things then.
I Stay Unnamed- I love dark sides too ;)
AEIOU- Don't I know it, well, good luck with school and hope you enjoy this!
Chapter 24
Things were going perfectly. Shadowfern watched unseen as Aspenclaw and Patchear fought with claws unsheathed against Gingercloud and Cloudspot. The sun was out and the birds were chirping as the cats struggled furiously with hisses and grunts.
They were being quiet specifically not to draw attention. It had been almost two moons since that day when the Clan had almost fought, the day after the last gathering she'd attended. And small skirmishes like this were occurring every few days now.
The situation had grown steadily grimmer. Stormstar was almost completely oblivious to it though, Shadowfern had made sure of that despite Snowshade's efforts to show her more than once.
Things had changed all around Shadowfern since then. The leaves on the trees had turned brilliant shades of gold, orange, and red and they formed a magnificent carpet for her to step upon. The air was crisper and cold enough to bite her nose at night and the rains came more frequently. In other words, it was leaf-fall once again.
The Clan had changed as well, Heathersky had two kits, both were small like her and both had identically bright red fur and forest green eyes. One was a tom, Foxkit, in honor of Heathersky's recently deceased father, and Mapelkit was a she-kit.
Shadowfern felt emptier than ever, as both Foxtail and Lightfoot had passed away from the elders den. The only thing that drove her back was the occasional comfort Stoneheart could give. But she knew he was close to death and would probably be gone in no more than two moons.
The senior warrior Willowfrost had passed away in the end of an unfortunate fight with a fox. Mossleaf had retired to the elders den not long after to join her mate, Lionclaw; Gorseclaw and Redsky promising to join her not much later.
And so Blueshadow's first litter of kits claim themselves as the oldest cats in the Clan, apart from Stoneheart and Lionclaw. Shadowfern watched the continuing fight with a glimmer of interest, the scent of blood still made her nose wrinkle, but the glow of life in the eyes of the fighting cats sparked her interest and she was always left with wondering if she should join, but always holding back.
The fight between Crystalherat and Rockclash had openly elevated as well in the past two moons. Shadowfern knew there were three reasons for this; one, every cat was anxious, either knowingly or unknowingly, to get the trouble solved before leaf-bare; two, Crystalheart had become more stubborn and forceful about her position while Rockclash had become openly more defiant; three, she knew she was stirring feelings on both sides and making every cat think they were right.
The fight will happen soon, and then Stormstar will have to punish Rockclash, and he'll have gone so far and have so much support that she'll almost be forced to exile him. It's almost too perfect.
However, more than one cat had picked up on what she was doing, even if they hadn't grasped the depth of her actions. Rockclash's cats had decided she was their biggest threat and more than one cat had tried to fight her to force her to keep quiet. She'd evaded them so far, but was curious to see just how far they would go.
She jerked back to the present as a sole screech ripped through the air and she looked to see Cloudspot wrenching away from Aspenclaw's grasp with a deep wound to his shoulder. Shadowfern sighed, mostly the fights had ended with scratches that the cats were able to hide, but now Cloudspot would have to be treated by Softberry or Whitestripe and some excuse would have to be made.
It seemed that all the cats that partook in fights had agreed to keep them a secret on some level from the medicine-cats, cats who disapproved of the fighting, the elders, and Stormstar. It seemed no cat wanted to get in trouble.
Every cat is riled up; they even split the warriors den in two sections! Rockclash is training himself everyday with his apprentice and Crystalheart has been discussing battle strategies. Every cat is read for war, one battle is all it'll take for the decision to be made. Now they just need to wait for an opportune time.
Shadowfern knew she was scowling at herself and her thoughts. The blood of her Clan-mates and the hate in their eyes, she'd once striven to prevent it, now she was advocating it. Half the time she hated herself, half the time she was plotting how to finish her job.
But it's too late to back out, nothing will change this now. Even if I wanted to, nothing will stop the storm now. But what will I do when it's over? It was a thought that'd been biting her for days, and she had no answer, her mind was a blank.
Death seemed like the perfect answer, she could finally be free of the torment that she both afflicted and tried to avoid. She shook the webs of misery away for a moment to hate what she had become before they came back and she sighed and plodded through the forest in a lethargic state.
The leaves crunched beneath her paws and the wind ruffled her fur. She looked up and spotted the stream near the training hollow. Pulling herself toward it, she sat down and bent down to lap up a few mouthfuls, clearing her throat.
She looked down at the little eddies in the stream, swirling around as they spun off rocks and glanced off protruding sticks and stones in the stream. Her reflection was fuzzy in the running water, but it was enough for her to see that even though she looked the same, her fur was still smooth and her ears pointed and alert, her eyes was of one with no life. Probably because she didn't feel like she had a purpose anymore.
What's the point of life, when I feel like this? Her heart wrung with misery, Cloudpatch's death was still a dull ache, but this hopelessness and utter despair… she wasn't sure where it came from. I've just given up on life, I know that's why.
Closing her eyes and hanging her head she just breathed. She existed, but she wasn't living. The roundabout question that she couldn't understand, how could she be alive, but not living? However, that was the case, and she did not foresee it changing anytime soon, if ever.
She lifted up one of her paws and turned it over. It was gray and crisscrossed with dozens of old-healed and newly-healed scars. All of her paws were marked with it, a reminder forever of her pain. She lifted up her other paw and slid out her claws.
Scratch!
Three scarlet drops went flying and plopped on the dusty floor ground. A crescent shape cut glistened red on her paw and the sharp sting that made her flinch turned to a throbbing pain that made her sigh in relief. If anything, it proves I'm still alive and my blood's still red.
She blinked and placed her paw down, her cut stung as dirt got in it, but it gave her something else to focus on, and she focused solely on the pain, keeping her dark and depressing thoughts at bay, at least until she got back to camp.
The hostile glares, the ruffled fur, the growls and snarls. The atmosphere was broken and moody as she padded through camp, virtually oblivious. At least she wasn't the only one suffering, but this feeling of the camp, it turned her cold, it made her feel more miserable and more unfeeling.
She grabbed a mouse from the fresh-kill pile under the sharp glares of Silverwing and Sunstrike. She definitely wasn't popular with those who wished for Rockclash to be deputy, though she was still the one who had given them the best argument to use against Crystalheart.
She took the mouse away and ate it in solitude near the back of the warriors den. She laid down on her belly when she was finished and dozed in the scrambled sunlight and shade.
"Shh! They're going to hear us!" Shadowfern opened an eye as the tiny voices and giggles sounded near to her. Peering behind her, she saw two tiny red kits sneaking around the warriors den.
Sighing, she moved her back leg and nudged to two little miscreants. They squealed in surprise, but they were stuck, the only way to get out was through where Shadowfern was, unless they wanted to force their way through the gorse barrier and lose half the fur on their pelts.
Two guilty looking kits teetered out and Shadowfern looked at them dully. "Sorry," Maplekit was the first to speak, nudging her brother and pressing him into apologizing as well.
Shadowfern just looked at them, unable to rouse herself to answer and they started to look nervous and scared. "Why is she just looking at us?" Foxkit whispered. Shadowfern's ears still worked even if her tongue was asleep when she was like this.
"That's Shadowfern, mommy doesn't like her much," Maplekit whispered back. Mommy, Heathersky, she likes Rockclash, she's also a half-sister? No, she's a half-foster-sister.
"Is she stupid or something?" Foxkit asked.
"No, mommy says she's very smart," Maplekit whispered, moving back a pace.
"She sure doesn't look it!"
"Maybe something's wrong with her?" Maplekit suggested.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Foxkit demanded, bounding up to her face and putting his tiny paws on her foreleg that was outstretched in front of her. The touch roused her and she finally managed to call back her mind from wandering in the fog.
"Nothing, why'd something be wrong with me?" Shadowfern asked with a voice that clearly didn't fit her expression.
Foxkit narrowed his eyes and moved along her foreleg, stopping at her paw and nudging it, turning it over. "Why's your paw all cut up?" the kit asked triumphantly.
"Because," Shadowfern mewed, staring at the dark red crested blood in the shape of a claw-scratch moon.
"Doesn't it hurt?" Maplekit asked sympathetically, bright green eyes soft and warm.
Why am I messing around with kits? But she couldn't stop talking; talking with innocence was like a fresh wind blowing through her fur. "Yes, thanks goodness," Shadowfern sighed, turning her paw over again so the kits couldn't examine the scars.
"Why are you happy it hurts?" Foxkit scoffed, looking at her as if she were crazy, eyes the same color as his sister but with a sharper look.
"It means I'm alive," Shadowfern answered, feeling the dying grass prickle her fur and she wondered when the last time something had made her feel.
"Why wouldn't you be alive?" Maplekit asked, sitting on Shadowfern's foreleg.
"Because some scars never heal," Shadowfern sighed, feeling tears spring to her eyes as the throb of pain in her heart stung.
"Then make them heal!" Foxkit burst out, tail sticking straight up in the air.
"Mouse-brain, you can't make scars heal!" Maplekit scoffed at her brother, batting at his ear.
"Oh yeah, smarty cat?" Foxkit growled playfully, crouching and leaping for his sister, knocking her off her perch of Shadowfern's leg.
The two kits tussled and Shadowfern watched them intently. It wasn't the same interest she scraped off her Clan-mates fighting; it was a gentle curiosity of the naivety of these two young creatures. Bathed in sunshine and drowned in love, they were completely oblivious to the worries of the Clan. For now.
Shadowfern sighed and laid her head tiredly on her leg, watching the two kits play and argue through the afternoon. They finally fell asleep as the shadows of dusk lengthened. Foxkit was slung over her back, snoring lightly and exhaustedly.
Maplekit had curled gently into the crook of Shadowfern's leg. Their innocence, their youth, their hopefulness, it stirred something in Shadowfern. They're so perfect, so lively, oblivious to everything just like me, but so happy about it… This is what I lost, what I thought I could never find. Yet here it is, right in front of me.
She cried a few tears of both sadness and gladness, then she fell to purring in that secluded little area. The first time she'd purred in two and a half moons, it was a little rusty, but it was a purr. She felt the first glimmer of peace that she'd had in a long time.
… Tigerpaw's POV …
Today is the day! The day of my warrior assessment! I can't wait, it's finally here! He could hardly sit still, and felt the need to bounce around in excitement.
He glanced at his sister Dewpaw, her stone-gray fur with bands of silver shone silky in the gray light before dawn. Her well-formed figure sat still with her tail curled neatly over her paws and her eyes were narrowed slightly. He looked away, disconcerted, the Dewpaw he'd known would look amazingly excited, but she was as calm and in control as if this was just another day.
I wonder what kind of mentor Rockclash is…They hadn't done much training together, Rockclash had preferred to do training alone and then Shadowfern seemed to have become his least favorite cat in the Clan, despite the fact they'd once been friends.
Speaking of his mentor… he looked around, trying to find his black furred mentor. There. She was sitting outside the warriors den; in the gray light she looked wistful and dreamy.
Tigerpaw swallowed hard, feeling a dark cloud pass over him briefly. Shadowfern was still his favorite cat outside his family, but, she just seemed so empty lately. At least she doesn't seem as bitter anymore. A few days before he had noticed that she wasn't as involved with stirring up hostilities and had quieted down in insulting Rockclash, but Tigerpaw could tell she still loathed the tom.
He'd also noticed she watched the kits very closely, sometimes playing with them quietly. Maybe she'll start to go back to how she was, he thought hopefully. But the hope was unfound and Tigerpaw knew that even if she improved herself, she would never be the same.
The light in her eye, its… different now. More dim, as if life has less meaning, though, she didn't seem to find any meaning in life until she started hanging around the kits. He snapped out his thoughts as Dewpaw flicked her tail over his ears.
"Sit up straighter, Rockclash is coming this way," Dewpaw whispered. Tigerpaw glared at her, so what if Rockclash was coming? He wasn't his mentor. He didn't heed the advice and earned a glare from both Dewpaw and Rockclash.
Just because he wishes to be deputy doesn't mean he gets my respect more than any other warrior. Heck, he's one of the youngest warriors anyways! He straightened as Shadowfern meandered over, giving Rockclash a frosty glance and keeping a good two tail-lengths between him and her.
"The assessment will be this: you both are required to track your mentor through the forest and then successfully defeat your mentor," Rockclash announced.
Tigerpaw's heart thudded in his chest. He was a skilled fighter, he knew it, but Shadowfern was almost impossible to track and even harder to defeat. Cats said she took after her mother.
"We will be holding back a little, you just must hold your own against us," Shadowfern clarified, though her voice was toned with dislike and Tigerpaw could see that she was falling back into a bitter mood at having to be near Rockclash.
What happened to her? What changed her? He wondered for the thousandth time, it still hurt just to think how miserable she'd become. Even if she was glimpsing a little light now and then, she just seemed to be more sad and tired and less angry and cruel.
"Okay, how long do we wait until we head after you?" Tigerpaw asked, focusing his mind on the task ahead.
"Until the first rays of dawn shine into the clearing, that'll give us a little head start," Shadowfern mewed.
Tigerpaw nodded, and waited as the two cats left with glares at each other. A few minutes later the first golden ray branded the clearing, turning the frost on the ground sparkling white. "Let's go!" he jumped up.
Dewpaw followed him sedately as he raced up the ravine, following the scent trail plainly laid by the two cats. He paused at the top, deciphering that Shadowfern had gone along the trial that led toward Tallpines. "Well, good luck," Dewpaw mewed calmly, turning in the opposite direction of where Shadowfern had gone.
"You too, let's be warriors today," Tigerpaw mewed; they nodded in agreement and headed off. It wasn't that hard to follow the trail at first, but the trail began weaving in and out of clumps of vegetation and crossing the paths of other scent trails.
Yet, Tigerpaw knew Shadowfern's scent well enough to keep going at a steady pace. Near the Twoleg-River border the scent strengthened and Tigerpaw moved forward stealthily. He circled around his quarry and saw Shadowfern sitting tiredly beneath an ash tree, eyes misty and unseeing.
Tigerpaw swallowed, it seemed unfair to attack an unprepared cat, even if it was just a mock battle. Come on, maybe a fight will help snap her out of this mood. Nodding, he crouched and sprang with a yowl of attack.
He hit her slim shoulders square on and she collapsed beneath him and they rolled on the ground, however, Shadowfern was deadweight in his paws, making it hard for him to move. Then she sprang lightly and kicked him off. He gasped and anticipated her next move, bouncing away a moment before she pounced where he'd been.
"Good, you did remember something," Shadowfern muttered, more to herself then to him it seemed. Tigerpaw looked hard and saw that in her eyes there was a glimmer of the old praise, but her expression stayed the same.
She feels it, but she can't share it. Tigerpaw crouched and concentrated on taking her down, she hardly seemed like she'd be in top condition after how she'd been acting lately. Yet she still dodged his attack at the last moment, shoving him off balance and holding him down by his shoulders before he could get back up.
No! I will be a warrior! Grasping all his strength, he twisted himself over and kicked her off, hearing her grunt of surprise. He spun around and faced her with his back arched. She stood sedately, the look in her eyes made him shiver. She still looked dead, her face blank with a small scowl, and exactly how she'd been lately. Never-changing.
He crouched and snarled, leaping for her paws, she bounced away, but he whipped around and slammed into her side, tumbling her over and pinning her to the ground, her face pressed against the ground. "Good job," Shadowfern wheezed.
Worry sparked through him as he remembered her medical condition. "Are you okay?" he asked anxiously, getting off of her and she hauled herself up, her frame shaking with a rough cough.
"Yeah, just hit the ground a little too hard," Shadowfern muttered, shaking her head wearily though she didn't seem bothered.
"D-does this mean I can become a warrior?" Tigerpaw asked, waiting for her to steady her breathing before asking.
"Yes, of course," Shadowfern answered, for a moment she sounded like her old-self again. But the moment was soon gone and she signaled for him to follow her before heading back toward camp. Shadowfern moved with her head level with her shoulders and her thick, black tail trailing in the leaves behind her.
Tigerpaw shivered, the mood she set was dismal to say the least, it made the brilliant colors of dawn seem dull and the happy chirping of birds sound as raw as the cawing of crows. "Shadowfern, what's wrong with you?" he couldn't help but ask it in a sigh.
Shadowfern didn't halt or even stumble, didn't react at all. "It can't be changed by answering," Shadowfern mewed quietly.
Tigerpaw fell silent, disappointed, he couldn't but feel that if she talked about it it'd be better. But obviously she wasn't going to do that, not with him at least.
"Wait, did you hear that?" Shadowfern halted suddenly, head up and ears pricked. Tigerpaw's fur prickled with nervousness even though he hadn't heard anything, Shadowfern was usually right when being wary.
A scent hit Tigerpaw, along with the scents of aggression and fear. "Shadowfern!" he warned, but three cats exploded from the undergrowth before he could react and two more bundled him out of the way, pinning him with half-sheathed claws.
"Let me go!" he hissed, struggling as he heard insults rang through the air, all aimed at Shadowfern. He peered through the legs of his assailants and spotted Shadowfern being beaten back, red heavily staining her black fur.
Shadowfern was fighting valiantly, but without any fire, she couldn't defeat five cats on her own. She was soon pinned, exposed on her back. She let out little whimpers and cries as deep wounds were gouged into her belly which must have given excruciating pain.
Her eyes were bright with pain and for the first time in moons, Tigerpaw saw emotion other than coldness, hardness, misery, and bitterness. He saw fear, real savage fear. "Let her go! Leave her alone!" he cried, begging his attackers, staring into the familiar faces. Then it sank in.
M-my Clan-mates are attacking my mentor… why? They don't like her opinion, but, this is going way too far! He focused on Shadowfern, feeling tears of desperation spring to his eyes as he watched her in her helpless and defeated shape.
"Now, you are not going to say a thing about this to Stormstar or your dear deputy, if we get in even the slightest bit of trouble, your apprentice is going to be in even more trouble," the leader of the cats attacking Shadowfern, Aspenclaw, spoke.
"And what's your point of this anyways?" Shadowfern asked, coughing, Tigerpaw stared in alarm as she spat out a mouthful of blood. But her eyes were angry as the cats stepped back, allowing her to pull herself in a more defensive position, though she was leaning against a tree for support while the ground around her turned red with her blood.
"You are going to step away from the Clan, you will not comment anymore on the matter between Crystalheart and Rockclash, if you do again, we will drive you out of the Clan, or kill you," Aspenclaw threatened in a low growl, blue eyes hard.
Shadowfern growled and didn't respond. Aspenclaw glared at her and lunged forward. "No!" Tigerpaw cried as Shadowfern gave a screech of pain that was muffled as Aspenclaw shoved her face into the ground.
Blood ran down Shadowfern's head and turned half her face red in a few moments. Her left ear was gone, torn off and now in Aspenclaw's jaws. Even the cats holding Tiegrpaw down had flinched.
"You'll be losing your other ear next time," Aspenclaw seethed. No, how could he do this?! Tigerpaw was feeling more and more horrified and more scared. How can I be living with cats like this? He felt like crying.
Shadowfern had collapsed on the ground, she looked unconscious, whether from shock, pain, or loss of blood, Tigerpaw had no idea. "Let's go," Aspenclaw ordered and Tigerpaw was released. He raced to his mentor's side, making sure that her shuddering breath wasn't fading before glaring furiously at Aspenclaw and the other four cats.
"How could you do this to your Clan-mate?!" he demanded with a sob.
"She chose her path; she's been too savage with her attacks on Rockclash. He is the better deputy, and he will be the official deputy before long," Aspenclaw mewed coldly.
"That's no excuse! She's your Clan-mate! She's a friend and family to many!" Tigerpaw cried, using his golden paws on the places that were bleeding the most.
"Quit whining, she won't die," Aspenclaw snarled. "And you'd do well to hold your tongue if you don't want to end up like her," the tom added menacingly before turning and disappearing into the undergrowth, the others following him silently.
"They're gone?" Shadowfern gasped, eyes still closed.
"Yes, please be alright!" Tigerpaw begged, pressing leaves to her wounds.
"I'll be fine, go… get…help," Shadowfern struggled to speak.
"I can't leave you!"
"Now do it," Shadowfern wheezed, face tightening with pain.
"Okay, I'll be back really soon with help, don't you dare die!" Tigerpaw ordered, well aware his voice was shaking and he was trembling uncontrollably.
He turned and ran and thought he heard her say. "Don't worry, I still have something left to do here."
...
Well, that was fun, if not a but wild. Hope it was entertaining though! next chapter might be a little delayed, not feeling very inspired at the present moment...
Please Review!