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Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward

Chapter 25

BPOV

God, I'm such an idiot. I let him in, more than I've let any guy in. I let down my guard, and he's just like all the rest of them. I thought he was different. I should know better. All my life I've watched my mom be let down by guy after guy. When will I learn?

Seeing Tanya in a bikini running up to us on the beach was like watching the opening credits of Baywatch. I swear she was in slow motion, perfect body, not a hair out of place, flawless. She's tall, long legs, tan all over, flowing hair and the twins are enhanced. How can I compare to her? I can't.

Edward's demeanor completely changed when she came up. He shut me out. Physically, he turned his back on me. He walked away with her, arm in arm.

When he did introduce the two of us, she gave me the bitchy once over. I saw it. I felt it. She gave me that, "what could he possibly see in you," look. And he didn't even notice or if he did, he didn't care.

I couldn't just stand there and watch them. She was all over him. So I took the dogs back to his parent's house.

The worst thing was seeing him in the ocean after Tanya was rubbing all over him. He was in the cold water for a long time. Apparently, I'm not the only one who does things to his body, making him need a "cold shower."

That hurt the most. For a minute I felt special. He made me feel special. Wrong, not special, just plain, ordinary Bella. Bella who is destined to be an old "dog lady."

"Isn't that right Buddy? We don't need a man, any man. We're just fine aren't we?"

Buddy lets out a breath putting his head down on the passenger seat next to me as we drive home from the beach house. He doesn't look happy either.

"Missing your friend Booboo already? I know, Buddy, I know." I commiserate with him.

The first thing I do when I get home is turn off my phone. I'm sure Alice and Rose are wondering why I left so abruptly. I don't want to talk to anyone, especially if it means fielding questions I have no answers to.

I putter around the house, walk to the local market to pick up a few things, read, listen to music, sit on the porch and watch tv. When I'm out I get a glimpse of a car that looks just like the one that was following me, but it drives away, so I try not to give it too much thought. I've got bigger issues on my mind right now.

I even try watching a movie, but nothing keeps my interest. I'm restless and I'm tired, from everything. The day drags along.

Before going to bed I grab an old friend and head back to the sofa. "It's just us and Chunky Monkey, right, Buddy?" Yep, that's what my life is reduced to. Me, Ben, Jerry and Buddy. Why are they men too? Can't the inventors of this delicious ice cream be Jen & Kerry?

The next day is Monday morning, a new day, a new week. Time to plan and get on with my life.

I have an appointment with my publisher next week regarding my book. I've got what I think are the best articles organized and ready to go. Unfortunately, the photographs from my trips are severely lacking in quantity and quality. I hope that's not a deal breaker with my book. I haven't been traveling while I've been getting this book together. Maybe the book deal falling through would be a good thing. I'd have to travel again. Get out of town. It would be a different perspective. I guess we'll see what happens.

Maybe I should start writing self-help books for woman. You know "Woman Power."

I have the perfect title,

All You Need To Know About Men

Chapter One

STAY AWAY FROM THEM.

The end.

That would be lucrative. I laugh out loud making Buddy raise his head and look at me. "It's called sarcasm, Buddy." I snort.

~MMB~

When morning comes, I feel like I haven't slept at all. Everything aches, my eyes burn and my head is throbbing. There's only one thing to do.

I put on my running clothes, shoes, and ipod. I'm going to kick my own butt and run on the sand, it's the best workout in the shortest time. The soft sand is merciless, just what I need.

"Sorry, Buddy, I'm running on the sand today, no dogs allowed. We'll take a long walk later." I say as I walk out the door. Forget the phone. I haven't even turned it on this morning. I'm still not ready to talk to Alice or Rose or anyone for that matter.

I push myself so hard when I'm running I start seeing spots. The negative mantra in my head spurs my self-punishment. "You are so stupid. Why did you let him get under your skin, let down your guard? Face it, you're meant to be alone. Men are no good." That or a similar version, on and on, over and over.

I'm gone for what feels like hours, the hot, high sun beating down on my head as I practically crawl up the hill to my house.

I'm so fatigued that I don't notice there's someone on my porch until I'm heading up the stairs.

I stop. We look at each other. No smiles. I look down and start to unlock the door.

"Where have you been?" He demands, breaking the silence.

"What does it matter?" I answer in a flat tone.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning. Not to mention the phone calls and messages I left last night." He's angry. He's angry?

"You're angry? Why the hell are you angry? I'm the one who is angry. Who should be angry."

"After the information I got this morning, yesterday and Tanya are old news." He says, raising his voice.

"So glad you can just dismiss me and my feelings so easily." I mumble while walking to the kitchen to get a drink. He's right on my heels.

"We need to talk." He pushes.

"I need a shower; you'll just have to wait." I say as I walk into my bedroom. He follows.

"No, we need to talk now. I have one question to ask you and it's important."

"Will you leave if I answer?" I ask, facing him with my hands on my hips.

"Depends on your answer." We just stand there staring at each other, until he starts again. "Do you know Victoria Vulturi, or anyone associated with her?" He's clearly accusing me of something.

"What are you talking about? I don't know any Victoria anyone. As far as whom she is associated with, I wouldn't know, because I don't know her. Can I shower now?" I don't know why I'm defending myself. Exactly like a man, turning things around, making everything about them.

He stares at me, sizing me up or something. I'm tired, tired of this conversation. I just want to be left alone. He's not here to apologize, and even if he was, I don't know if it would matter. I close myself in the bathroom and try to make the hot water wash away my feelings, the stress of it all. It doesn't work. I'm just clean and smell better.

I'm startled as I exit the bathroom to see him sitting on the end of my bed; his head in his hands. He raises his eyes when he sees me.

I'm wrapped in a towel. He's embarrassed. What did he expect; I just got out of the shower.

"If you don't want to see me naked you may want to leave the room." I state as I drop my towel in front of my dresser.

That's the fastest I've seen him move. He hits his foot on the door jam on the way out. Karma. I smile.

I dress in my standard weekend attire, shorts and a tank top. I leave my room and head to the kitchen to make lunch. He's sitting on the sofa looking a little freaked out. I know that look. I ignore him as I walk through the room. He joins me in the kitchen.

"Bella, I owe you an apology."

"Oh, you owe me more than one, but really, Edward, it doesn't matter. Chalk the whole thing up to experience, a lesson learned. Then we can go about our lives." I say as I busy myself preparing food.

"You're right. I owe you many apologies. Let's start from the beginning, with Tanya, yesterday. I'm sorry I was so rude, I…"

I try to interrupt, but he stops me. "Please let me finish. I need to get this out."

"I wasn't trying to be rude. I saw how Tanya was acting towards you and I wanted to protect you from her. I wanted her away from you. That's why I let her pull me away. I honestly thought I could get rid of her quickly and we could finish our walk. But it took longer than I anticipated setting her straight on a few things. By the time I escaped her, you were back at the house already. I'm sorry." He ends breathlessly.

"That's one apology." I say without looking his way.

"I'm also sorry that I came here today uninvited. I'm sorry that I was angry and abrupt with you when we were talking before. I'm sorry I accused you of knowing Victoria. I'm sorry I even thought for a second that what James was telling me about you could be true. But the main thing I'm sorry for is that I've dragged you into my problems, that I've put you in danger because of me. That's what I am the most sorry for." He is leaning back against the counter, head hung, shaking it back and forth.

I've stopped and am looking at him because I'm totally lost. I have no idea what he's talking about.

"What?" Is all I say.

"Come sit down, it's a long story."

I grab my food and sit on the sofa. He's pacing back and forth.

"You know that lawsuit I'm involved with, with my neighbors?" I nod. "The woman who owns the property is Victoria Volturi. I've been concerned for a while that she is into some illegal stuff. About a month ago I hired a private investigator to dig into her business and maybe get some information I could use as leverage in the lawsuit. The private investigator is named, James. Jasper recommended the firm, but told me that he didn't know anything about James specifically. I didn't like James from the moment I met him, but what do I know, maybe all PI's are slimy like him. Anyway, he's been gathering information for me and we met this morning to discuss it. He didn't get anything useful about the Volturi's. He was more interested in you." He stops.

"Me?" I ask.

"Yes." He pauses, appearing to be searching for the right words. "You see it appears that James has a fascination with you. He's the one who's been, for lack of a better word, "stalking" you. He tried to tell me you were involved with Victoria, but the longer I talked to him the more crazy he sounded. It freaked me out. He had so many photos of you, Bella, intimate ones, inside your house.

"He was inside my house." I choke.

"No, no, but he had a telephoto lens and got shots of you doing various things inside your house. I'm really sorry." He voice is strained, as if he's in pain.

"Where are the photos now?"

"I convinced him to leave them with me, but I'm sure he has them on his computer, which is actually a good thing."

"A good thing. How?"

"At the end of our meeting this morning, I paid James for his services, told him not to continue with the investigation, and that I'd be in touch. Then I immediately called Jasper. We need to file a restraining order against James, today, both of us, but especially you. That's why I've been so frantic to find you. I don't think I tipped James off that I think he's a wacked out stalker, but I don't know for sure. I was worried he would come here. Try to do something to you." He plops on the sofa next to me, defeated.

"You have no reason to be sorry about James, Edward. You couldn't know that the PI you hired would stalk me." I offer.

"But if you weren't friends with me this wouldn't have happened." He practically whispers.

I want so badly to console him, touch him. I can tell he's beating himself up over this. But things are different now. We aren't the same two people who descended the steps onto the beach yesterday morning. We aren't "special friends" anymore. Maybe someday we can be friends again, but I don't even know if I can do that.

"Please, don't feel responsible Edward. It happened. We'll file the restraining order. End of story."

"I wish it were that easy, Bella. First we have to file the papers with the court. After, we go to court at the appointed time tomorrow to see if the judge will grant the Temporary Restraining Order. Then Jazz will serve James the papers, if he can find him. Then, we wait and see how James reacts. Worst case scenario, the Restraining Order is denied. Until we see how this plays out I'm not letting you out of my sight." He states matter of fact.

"Oh, no. Hell no. I'm not spending days and nights with you." I blurt out.

Obviously hurt by my reaction. "Will you at least go stay with someone? Alice maybe? You can even stay at my parents, it's safe and it's gated with a guard, just not here, not alone. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me." He pleads.

I'm still pissed at him and he's got me feeling sorry for him. What kind of power does this man have over me? I can't believe I'm even considering spending time with him.

We sit in silence. I get up and wash my dishes. I never offered him a drink or food. I was too pissed to be a good hostess. I feel guilty about that too.

"Do you want something to drink? Water or something?" I yell from the kitchen.

"Water please." He answers.

What do I do? I don't want to stay here alone; I don't want to go to his parent's house. I definitely don't want to go to his house. I set his water on the coffee table in front of him and go to the bedroom to make a call.

"Alice."

"Bella, thank god you're okay. Edward was so worried. He called here like a hundred times. Where were you? Is he with you? He feels so bad about this, about everything. Tanya means nothing to him. I hope you forgive him." She goes on without a chance of me getting a word in. I can't stay with her, she would drive me crazy. She's obviously "Team Edward."

"I'm fine, Alice. I was on a run. Edward is here and I'm trying to figure out what to do."

"You can stay here, but I know that Edward wants you with him. He feels so responsible. He has security at the rescue; it's the safest place for you to stay, both of you."

"Thanks, Alice. I'll let you know. When do I need to meet with Jasper?"

"You are meeting at Edward's in about an hour."

"Okay, thanks, Alice. I'll talk to you later." I hang up and look over at Edward. He is staring at me expectantly.

"Look, I'll pack a bag. I'm driving my own car, and I'll decide later where I'll stay."

He just nods.

I throw things in a bag, gather up Buddy's stuff and call Jake.

"Hey, Bella. Long time, no talk. Decided to talk to me again, huh?" He jokes pointedly.

"Look, Jake, something has come up and it's not safe for me to stay here at the house. It's a long story. Buddy and I are going to stay with a friend for a few days. Will you keep an eye on the house and check in on Angela? I was gone over the weekend and haven't checked in on her since I've been back."

Without hesitation he says. "I'll be right over."

"Jake, no. I..." He hung up. Great. Edward is silently watching me.

I try to get Edward and I out of the house and gone before Jake can get here. No such luck. We're standing on the front porch, locking the door, when Jake shows up.

He runs up and grabs me a huge bear hug. "What the hell is going on, Bella?"

I push away from him gently. "Jake, you didn't need to come over. Everything is under control. We're leaving right now. Jake this is Edward, Edward this is Jake." They shake hands stiffly, but no smiles or words are exchanged. Men...

"It's not under control if you need to leave your own house." He accuses, while looking directly at Edward.

I grab his hand, forcing his attention back to me. "I appreciate your concern. Jake, and keeping an eye on things here for me, but really, everything is or will be okay in a few days. You have to trust me."

"Oh, I trust you, Bella. It's other people I don't trust." He's looking at Edward again.

"Edward, you go on ahead. I'll meet you in Huntington." I say, trying to separate the "testosterone boys."

"I'll wait in the car for you, but I'm following you to my house." He states before going to his car. He's becoming terribly controlling, I don't like it.

In full view of Edward, Jake grabs me in an embrace again. "I just want you to be safe. You can stay with me if you want, anytime. You know that don't you?" He kisses my forehead.

I push away again. "Thanks, Jake, I appreciate it. I'm gonna go now. I'll be in touch, and don't worry." I wave as I bolt off the porch to the safety of my car.

Geez, why don't these guys just piss on me to stake their territory, ughhhhh

"Well, Buddy, it's your lucky day. Looks like you get to see Booboo again." Buddy perks up like he knows what I'm saying. I wish my life was as easy as his, "a dog's life." I blast the music as we drive up PCH towards Huntington, Edward on my tail. What am I going to do about my living arrangements for the next day or two? This whole situation sucks.

A/N

You all knew Bella wasn't a bad guy!

Who should she stay with? And what is up with James?

Jake is annoying... again.

I surprisingly found out that I'm nominated for Break Out Author (new author). Here's the link. So many amazing authors and stories :)

thefandomchoiceawards . blogspot . /p / nominees . html?zx=80ce931e473864d3 (remove the spaces)

Thanks for all of your support. I couldn't do it without you all.