Chapter 25 - Intense Feelings

As soon as Embry heard Jake's voice he got up and took off towards the door. Jake had no sooner given his command to Seth to sit down when we watched Embry sit automatically just inside the door. Everyone burst out laughing at the expression on Embry's face at the realisation of what had happened.

"What the?" Embry said aloud. "I'm not a wolf and his command just floored me. The alpha status is only meant to work when we are wolves." He was trying to stand up but the alpha command had him pinned to the floor and then he laughed at his predicament.

Jake must have released his hold on Seth because suddenly Embry was able to move again and as he stood up he barrelled into me on his way out the door.

"Sorry Ness." He called as he continued on his way. Mum who was standing next to me grabbed me around the waist to stop me flying across the room at the contact.

"Jake?" I whispered as my heart missed a few beats at hearing Jake's voice and it registered in my brain that Jake was home, he was actually here. He had finally come home. Then as suddenly as my happiness started it stopped. I knew deep down he was not back for good and I knew it would only be a matter of time before he left again. If he was staying he would have told me. Rebecca had still not come out of her coma and Jake would return to her until she did. Well I was not going to show anyone how much this was hurting me. I did not know how many more times I could say good bye to Jake. I just wanted him to stay. I glanced at dad and he grimaced. Great I thought to myself. He was just in my head.

"I'm going to get changed." I said as I pulled out of mum's embrace and headed towards the stairs.

"Ness." Dad called after me.

"Don't." I put my hand out to stop him from following me. I did not want to have this conversation with him again. I was definitely not going to hold it together. I raced to my room and locked my door. I went into my bathroom and turned the shower on, sliding down the shower wall to the floor I let my tears fall letting the sound of the shower drown out the sound of my tears.

My mind could not focus on anything. Here I was sitting in my shower crying over something I was powerless to change, my boyfriend was here but busy with dealing Seth and whatever was happening between him and Carissa. Dad had said they had imprinted, whatever that meant. He said it was the wolf's way of finding their soul mate. How could anyone just by looking at someone know they were their soul mate? Love at first, uh-huh sure. Yeah right dad, pull my other leg. I had not even asked about my best friend, what was happening with her or where she was. Instead I sitting here in my own self inflicted misery crying because I did not want my boyfriend to go back to Hawaii to sit with his sister who was in a coma after a serious car accident and she may never wake up. My body ached all over. I needed to see Jake. I had no idea why, I just needed to see him.

"Ness?" A small voice was calling. I lifted my head but there was no one there.

"Ness?" The voice repeated and I realised it was coming from the other side of the wall. It took me a few seconds to realise it was Carissa. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my wet clothes and headed for my closet and the hidden door that joined the rooms. I made my way in the spare room and found Carissa in the shower stall just like I had been only seconds before. She was dry but her face was red and puffy. She had been crying too.

"Riss?" I said quietly as I approached her. She looked up at me and I could see the pain and confusion in her eyes. I slid down the shower stall on the opposite side to her.

"Where's Seth?"

"Seth is with Jake and Sam. Do you remember what happened?"

"I remember getting to school and seeing you and your family. I saw you and Seth get out of the car, then looking in Seth's direction but that's all I remember. The next thing I knew was I was here in this room. Your mum, Esme, was sitting on the bed watching over me and introduced herself but could not tell me what happened. Ness, what's going on?"

"I am not sure. I asked dad but I am still waiting on an explanation. Are you alright?"

She was quiet for a little while before she answered. "It hurts."

"What do you mean it hurts?"

"My body aches but it's more than that. I'm not sure how to explain it."

"Can you try for me?" I was hoping by getting Carissa to talk it might shine some light on the imprinting thing that dad was talking about.

"It's like I have to see Seth and because I can't my whole body hurts. It's a dull ache that runs through me. I heard him yelling so I know he is in the other house and all I want to do is go to him but no one will let me and I have no idea why. I don't understand. I have these intense feelings for him and I haven't even met him officially. I only know his name because he drops you off at school everyday and you talk about him all the time as one of Jake's brothers." I could see the effort it was taking her to keep herself where she was but also to hold herself together.

"What do you mean intense feelings for him Riss?"

"Well. I've dated a few guys and had a few crushes too but today everything changed. Ness, the only way I can explain it is to say I'm in love with him. I don't understand why or how but I know in my mind that I love him and I know that with all my heart Seth will be the only guy I will ever be with."

"Wow." Was the only thing I could say. Everything she was telling me made sense but was it the same for me? I mean I feel the same way about Jake. I know I love him even though he is the first guy I have liked but is it the same as what Carissa is going through? My body aches but that is because of our separation, not because I cannot see him or be near him. My ache is the ache of my heart.

"Tell me about it. Weird huh." I nodded in agreeance.

"You have no idea. Somehow I think things are going to get a whole lot weirder for you before they get better though." I smiled knowing she was going to learn a lot more about Seth than she could possibly imagine.

"What do you mean?" She looked at me trying to work out why I was suddenly smiling at her.

"There are some things about Jake and his friends that you need to know about but I do not think it is my right to tell you. I think it is best if Seth explains."

"When will I get to see him?"

"I do not think it will be too much longer. I know there was some problem but no one will tell me what. Jake came back from Hawaii because of it of that I am certain." I watched as she took in a deep breath and started to whimper.

"It hurts Ness." She cried.

"Shh. Riss. It will be alright. You'll see Seth soon. I promise."

I joined her on the other side of the shower and wrapped my arms around her and she wrapped her arms around me. As she sat there I could see the tears build and then start to fall again. Eventually she cried herself to sleep. Once I knew she was well and truly asleep I picked her up and carried her into the spare bedroom. Being half vampire did have its advantages every now and then. Once I got her onto the bed I raced back into my room and quickly got changed out of my wet clothes and headed back to be there for her when she woke up. I grabbed a light blanket and put it gently over her before sitting in the chair near the window. I just sat there watching my friend knowing her pain at this point in time was worse than mine and I needed to be there for her. At some point I must have drifted off myself because the opening of the door roused me. I looked up and saw Jake and Seth enter quietly.

"Sorry I must have drifted off." I said quietly sitting up and stretching.

"It's alright baby." Jake answered and he walked over and wrapped me in his arms.

"Just let me check on Carissa." I said pulling myself from his hold but Jake held me tight.

"She's fine baby. Let's leave her and Seth alone. They need to talk and I need to explain some things to you too." I nodded and looked over at Carissa. Seth had gently climbed on the bed next to her but she was still sound asleep. He was carefully pushing her hair behind her ear so he could see her face. The look of love and adoration on his face was unmistakable.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry." He was whispering to her.

"Come on, let's leave them alone." He gently took my hand in his and led me out the door. I took one last look at my best friend and watched as Seth gently laid down beside her. He folded his body so that he was wrapped around her lying on his side, his front against her back and propped up on one elbow watching her sleeping form with an intensity I had never seen him display. His eyes never left her and I quietly closed the door behind me leaving them alone.

Jake said nothing as he led me away from the room and he did not stop as I thought he would at my door. Instead he led me down the stairs and out the sliding doors to the entertainment area. Dad was at his piano, he smiled but said nothing as we passed. The rest of my family were gone. The air had a heavy and oppressive feeling to it. Like what happens before a major thunderstorm is going to hit. Everything is still and you can hear a pin drop waiting on that loud crack of thunder just before the lightning and then downpour. Just before the door the entertainment room Jake stopped and faced me. He gently ran his hand down my cheek and I leant into it. His touch sent a shock wave through my system and I let out a soft sigh.

"I've missed you baby." His voice was barely more than a whisper but held so much emotion.

"I have missed you too." I replied looking deep into his eyes but his eyes were not the usual lose myself in his soul eyes that I saw. They were cloudy. It was something I had never seen before. The look he had make me nervous and for the first time a little scared of what he was feeling. Without warning Jake crushed his lips to mine and pulled me as close as he could enveloping me with his arms. I whimpered at the force of it. I did not understand what had overcome him. He had never been like this with me before.

"Jake, you're hurting her, control yourself." Dad growled at him. With dad's words just as suddenly as it began he let me go. The shock of his actions let me reeling and I staggered backwards a few steps until cold arms of dad caught me.

Jake said nothing but I knew dad was reading his thoughts because he said, "I know."

"I'm sorry baby." He looked so conflicted. He said nothing else he just turned and walked away. My mind was reeling and I leaned into dad for support watching Jake walk away. I was confused by what was taking place but most of all confused by Jake.

"Are you hurt sweetie?"

"No dad, just shocked and very confused."

"Give him a few minutes. He has a lot going on in that mind of his and he is not sure where to begin." When I looked at dad totally confused he continued "He wants to tell you what is happening but he can't stay and doesn't want to hurt you and leave you with more questions. He really does care about you."

"I know. He promised me he would tell me but only when he could stay permanently. I will give him some time. I think I will stay here and play my piano."

"Okay sweetie. I'll be inside if you need me."

"Thanks dad." He kissed me on the cheek and left. I walked over to my piano and sat down.

I ran my fingers along the keys and before letting them flow. I let them wander where they went, not really concentrating on anything in particular. Eventually my wandering fingers starting to develop into a song. The first song I had written over the summer and I lost myself in it.

I was so caught up in my song that I did not hear Jake return. When I finished and looked up he was leaning on the door frame and my heart did an audible leap. He was dressed only in cut off shorts which meant he had been in wolf form. My mouth had a mind of its own as a smile crossed my face at the sight of him. I sat there and drank his form in. Even though I had grown up with the guys around and seeing them in little else but shorts, my new feelings towards Jake made me appreciate his muscular body in a different light. His was a body of fine art to be savoured at all times.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

I said nothing. I got up off the stool and headed towards the sofas holding my hand out for him. He hesitated before following me. He did not take my hand and sat on the sofa opposite me. His rejection hurt just a little but he obviously needed more time. We sat there staring at each other, neither one of us saying anything. I did not know what was going through his mind but I wished he would say something. We continued to stare at each other, not saying anything. Jake looked like he had zoned out and his staring was starting to make me uncomfortable and I knew I needed to say something.

"Jake. Say something please." But he continued to stare. I sat there for another minute or so until I really could not take it any longer. I stood up slowly and walked around the coffee table until I was next to him, his eyes followed me. I reached out and carefully took one of his hands in mine and held it up to my cheek hoping the gesture would let him know I was alright but he still said nothing and continued to look at me.

"Jake, please. I am alright. You did not hurt me." I said as I gave up trying to get him to talk. I kept his hand to my cheek as I climbed onto his lap and laid my head on his chest. Jake said nothing but he wrapped his other arm around me and held me to him. I was not sure how long we sat there but ever so softly kisses were being placed on my hair and I heard him whisper 'I'm sorry' after each one.

I let go of the hand I was holding to my cheek and wrapped both my arms around him squeezing as hard as I could.

"Ow, what was that for?" I loosened my arms on him and giggled.

"Well you were being Mr doom and gloom and I could not take it any longer."

"Mr doom and gloom? What are you talking about?"

"Well, you would not say anything and you kept apologising. If you have not noticed I already forgave you otherwise I would not be sitting here on your lap."

"Oh."

"What happened before?"

Before he could respond a loud scream pierced the air.

"Carissa. We have to go." He stood up quickly and put me on the ground. He grazed his lips against my cheek before grabbing my hand and pulling me along with him.

"Jake, please what is happening?"

"Seth was going to talk to Carissa. I told him go slow but I think he went a little to quickly for her. From the sound of her scream she is freaking out." He was angry and I was guessing it was from the way Seth was handling the situation.

We headed outside and another scream pierced the air followed by a growl.

"We need to hurry." Jake growled and I looked at him with a scowl. He headed straight for where the scream was coming from. Suddenly he stopped next to mum and dad who must heard and were waiting for us.

"Carissa is in there." Dad said pointing to a small clearing behind the guys house. Dad must have sensed Jake's anger towards Seth because he added, "Jake it's not what you think. Seth hasn't told her anything. They were just going for a walk together, trying to get to know one another."

"Then what happened to make her scream like that?" Jake snapped at dad his anger not subsiding.

Dad looked at me and then back to Jake before he calmly said "They were being followed by a wolf and it got too close. Carissa saw it and screamed. Her scream put Seth into protection mode and without thinking he took off after it and phased in front of her. Once he was sure the other wolf was gone he came back. He's phased back but she won't let him near her."

"A wolf. Who?" I asked.

"I don't know Ness. Seth didn't recognise it either." Dad answered.

"So what do we do now? Carissa is petrified of Seth and she is on the verge of collapsing again." Mum asked.

"Bella you understand better than anyone what it is like to find out the person you love is something more. Why don't you try to relay to her how you reacted, maybe not about me but when you first learnt about Jake. Jake and I will try to convince Seth to come back to the house with us." Dad suggested.

"How do you want to get Seth out? He's not going to want to leave her." Jake asked.

"I think Bella and Nessie should go in first. Nessie is the only one Carissa really knows. We need to get Seth out of there before he makes things any worse than they already are."

"Alright." Mum took my hand and we headed towards Carissa who was cowering away from Seth who was trying valiantly to calm her down without success.

We approached her slowly and when we got close enough mum squeezed my hand and nodded towards Carissa. I took that as my cue to try to talk to her.

"Carissa?" I called loud enough for her to hear me.

She looked towards me and then flung herself into me sobbing.

"Shh Riss. Everything is going to be alright."

"W...we were w…walk…walking, I s…saw ..a…a w…wolf a…and sc…screamed. S…seth chased it a….away b…b…but he" She stammered out but everything had taken its toll on her and she passed out.

"Carissa!" Seth yelled concerned about her, rushing toward where I was holding onto Carissa.

"Seth. She's alright. She just passed out. It's too much for her." Dad said calmly walking into the clearing where we were with Jake. Seth was trying to take hold of Carissa but I knew if she came around it would freak her out again and I kept hold of her.

"Seth. You need to let Nessie and Bella take her back to the house. She needs time to process what she saw. I need to talk to you."

"No! If Carissa goes back to the house I'm going with her." Anger rolled of him.

"Seth. Man. Think about it." Dad tried to reason with him. "She's been through a lot today. I was there when you imprinted and it was intense. Then we had to break the thrall you had going on. I still don't understand it even after seeing it from both of your minds. Breaking it caused her to collapse for some reason. Now less than twelve hours later you phase in front of her.

"But that wolf was going to attack her." He spat back at dad.

"You don't know that. Maybe it was just curious about you but that doesn't matter at the moment. Carissa all of a sudden she these feelings she doesn't understand. She doesn't know you imprinted on each other. You definitely haven't had a chance to explain to her about the wolf side of things and then you phase in front of her. I'd be a little freaked too at seeing you burst into a wolf in front of me with all that happened today. Give her some space to try and sort her mind out. Let Bella and Nessie talk with her. Let them see where her head is at."

I could see the anger in Seth subside to be replaced with defeat. I knew he would allow us to take Carissa to the house.

"Come on Seth. Lets you, me and Edward go for a run." Jake put his hand on Seth's shoulder gently pulling him away from the us. I saw Seth hesitate before he allowed Jake to move him. I heard dad continue as they walked away, "We won't be long. It'll give Bella and Nessie a chance to talk to Carissa when she comes round."