Disclaimer: Same as always. Nothing being made off any of it.

A/N: Disney. Happiest place on Earth. I think that will be put to the test, don't you?

Day 2…The Hollywood Studios Experience

Alrighty then. We all slept – as much as is possible in a hotel bed with an excited seven-year-old on his first trip to Disney. Interpreted that means not much sleep at all. While Ewan and Steven trot off to find out more about the food plan thing we purchased, I take the opportunity to refresh some memories about rules and regulations. Mainly that there are no weapons of any sort allowed; clothes, including swim trunks, are not optional (yes I look directly at Tristan and no he does not flinch); and if they, for any reason, get stopped by security I will disavow any knowledge of, relation to, or responsibility for their asses. Of course I spend plenty of time answering the usual "what if…" type of questions as we walk to meet up with the other men who have decided we ought to head to one of the Disney parks and locate food there.

I guess now is a good time to confess exactly why we chose the timing of the Disney trip. You see, for a few weekends a year, Disney does what are called "Star Wars Weekends" (remember this trip was before they purchased all things SW related). Yes, it is all things SW throughout the Disney Hollywood Studio Park. No, we have not told Ewan. And no, I have not told the tag-alongs. Yes we are figuring Ewan will absolutely freak out and possibly hyperventilate…and the Knights probably will too.

We get to Hollywood Studios and, surprisingly, the lines are not that bad. Although it helps we are arriving when the park opens. The men go through the quick lines while I am stuck waiting…because I have to let security rummage through my backpack. Silently I pray they did not add anything to my backpack that will require…explanation, let's just say because I am so not in the mood. Thankfully the bag check goes smoothly and I am soon on my way to track down the people I love – and those I tolerate – and hopefully find some breakfast. I find them all outside a bake shop and discover that breakfast today is a cinnamon bun the size of Ewan's head and some much needed coffee – for the adults at least, the boy has chocolate milk and the Knights have whatever weird concoction they make out of various breakfast juices. Kay launches into a lecture about nutrition for a growing boy though he finally gives up when he realizes I have turned on my "mom hearing" and though I see his mouth moving, I don't hear or comprehend (or care about) anything he is saying. An aside here – if you plan to visit Disney I strongly recommend you purchase one of the food package things where you pay for all your meals up-front and just swipe your card (or wristband as it now might be) because holy mother of mercy the food prices are outrageous…unless you have a meal plan. Holy crimeny I can't believe the price difference and I am so glad we did the food plan thing. There. Vacation advice done. Back to whatever is about to unfold.

Breakfast is done and we set off to explore the park. We bump into some clone troopers and Ewan gets so excited to take a photo with them that I think he's going to burst. The tag-alongs are, predictably, unimpressed. We wander more and stop to look here and there before I feel Steven elbow me in the ribs as he quietly advises me to look to my left. I do and can't resist the smile. There he is. The man himself. The biggest King of Badness in the world of a seven-year-old. Yes, my friends, Darth Vader is in the house, taking photos and signing autographs. Casually, Steven redirects Ewan's attention from whatever souvenir he's inspecting to the pavilion wherein the Dark Lord of the Sith is holding court and we watch the child freeze, slowly looking from us to Darth then back to us before he takes off like a shot toward the end of the line. We quickly bring up the rear and, after a few minutes of excited chatter in which I don't think Ewan stops to take a breath, he suddenly realizes he does not have an autograph book for his idol to sign… Yeah, you can guess who gets sent to the nearest gift shop (OK, it was like 15 feet away but still, gimme some credit) for a book and pen. I rejoin the group and we wind our way through the line, getting some really amazing photos along the way through the crowd with our phones. Before we know it, we're next in line. But being as this is Florida, it's incredibly hot even in the shaded pavilion, and being as the man does wear all black from head to toe, Darth decides to take a short break…but not before he turns, makes a strangling motion at Ewan, clenches and shakes his fist then turns and stalks out with his cape billowing behind… It. Was. Awesome.

"Did he just threaten to harm you/the boy/Steven/us…? Did he just stalk off like some sissy girl…? I'll teach him to disrespect/threaten/etc." I honestly can't even tell you who said what – that is just a collection of the commentary that went on but you get the general idea. In the meantime, they also try to convince Ewan to let them be the first to sign his autograph book, to which he simply shakes his head and clutches the book tighter to his chest mumbling/chanting about Darth being the first to sign. Finally, Darth shows back up and motions us forward. Now I have to be honest, it is way cool that the Disney folks not only take your picture for the photo pass cd thing that they then will sell you at the end of your stay, but they will take it with your camera and even your cell phones. Which, I realize is all a ploy to make you feel better about them and more receptive to buying the cd but still. The boy got a photo with Darth and the dude's autograph on the first page of his autograph book (! – emphasis for Ewie's excitement, not mine of course). We are now the best parents ever – at least until we say 'no' to the next souvenir that he wants – and all is good and right in the world. Well, Ewie's world…the world of the Knights, not so much.

The day passes without incident. I know, I am still shocked about that but I think it's mainly because they spend most of their time sulking over the fact that Ewan still does not want their autographs as well as that, by the time the day ends, we've been on the SW ride so many times we can all recite the script from beginning to end. Though I have to admit that the Knights figuring out where to seat Ewie so his cute little mug would show up on the screen as the "wanted rebel spy" – then glaring at the guy who tried to take the seat – was truly heartwarming…but still didn't get them a spot in the autograph book.

Day 3…Even More Hollywood Studios

Day three is much like day two – we take the bus over to Hollywood Studios and spend the first part of the day wandering and listening to Ewan beg for various souvenirs. I might add that today we are the worst parents ever in the entire world in his book because we keep saying 'no' to what he asks for. Though, trust me, the life-size replica of Han Solo frozen in carbonite was awfully tempting…but not for the price they were asking.

Suspiciously we don't see Darth in the pavilion signing autographs and when I look at the gaggle of Knights, they quickly become interested in some t-shirts. Convincing myself I'm just better off for not knowing, I somehow remarkably refrain from asking. Either vacation is really mellowing me out or I'm just already too beaten down by the Mouse Kingdom to give a darn. For their part, I think the Knights are just trying not to sulk too badly since it is now Sunday and, therefore, SW weekend is just about done. I don't have the heart to break theirs and tell them that the majority of the SW stuff is going to stay…like the dreaded rebel spy ride which we have now gone on at least a half-dozen more times and, no, it has not changed the slightest from the dozen or so times we rode it yesterday.

I'm also noting that being able to discern who is with Ewan and who is just some character on the street is getting a bit difficult as well. Though if I had to guess, the larger numbers are following Lord Ewan and awaiting his command to do…something… Of course this is causing some unease with the Knights. It's only a matter of time before I am pulled aside for questioning. OK, so it's slightly after lunch and they're now pissed.

"So…uhm…unless we have missed something entirely – which, given that we've traversed this entire park at least five times today alone…"

The grumbles of agreement are loud and unmistakable…and come from more than just the Grumble Twins. I guess I can understand their point. I mean, it is summer in Florida. And summer heat/humidity and leather pants aren't exactly a match made in heaven. Nor do I think wearing a man-skirt is providing any relief, judging by Galahad's non-happy face.

"Yes…we have…and let me remind you before you say another word that this vacation is all about that little boy over there having the best time of his life at the happiest place on Earth…" I cock a brow and point toward Ewan who is eating cheese fries and happily chattering away, hoping they don't miss the warning in my tone. Which I know they will but, you know, hope and all that stuff.

"Yes. Well. You know we will do our best to see that he has a wonderful time." Had that come out of anyone's mouth except Dagonet, I would have laughed but he's a sincere fellow and most likely that is why he got appointed spokesperson. He clears his throat and looks around before lowering his head and speaking again. "So we have traversed the park. Done our own scouting work. And, well, are the Knightly attractions in a hidden section of the Park…or located in another one of the multitude of Disney Parks…?"

"Knightly attractions?"

"Aye…you know…sword fighting and horseback skills and…"

Oh crud.

"Uh…well…in truth there are none. These are all Disney movie based or things that Disney borrows…"

"But our movie was produced and distributed by subsidiaries of Walt Disney Studios. I would think that would entitle us to a small segment of Park space…"

Dag continues to prattle on about some legality or another but I don't hear him. I am too busy searching my phone because there is no way… Oh my…insert the list of expletives here because somehow, someway, he is correct. Oh my…yeah, time for that list of expletives again. I look up from my phone with a blank, shocked expression because I don't even know what to say.

"And further, I would like to speak to someone about getting killed off so early in the film…" Dag finished whatever his little tirade was and folds his arms over his chest.

"Aye…and the rest of us would like to speak to someone about not being included at all…" The entire group of forgotten Knights fold their arms across their chests and look expectantly at me.

Oh double crud. I have got to find a way out of this but I am still shocked that they knew or bothered to research that the company…associated with Disney… These. The same group who cannot be bothered to read directions on making microwave mac and cheese so it doesn't boil over or end up crunchy, have gone and researched the production studio for their movie? Are you even serious? Yeah, the list of expletives makes an encore appearance as I desperately try to think my way out of this. Have I mentioned that they are all staring at me and it is making me rather uneasy?

"Uhm…well…" Think. Think. Think. That's all I keep hearing in my head. Which isn't helping any and just might actually be getting in the way of me coming up with something reasonable.

"Problem over here?" Steven wanders over and looks from me to them then back to me.

"Yes. We have been all over this park many times the past two days…" Dag again assumes the role of spokesperson, which I am guessing is due to his ability to convincingly spew legal speak.

"Yeah…Ewie's really enjoying the Star Wars stuff. Which reminds me – babe, we have got to stop and find out about signing him up for the Jedi Knight training class thing that takes place on that stage. I heard one of the parents talking about it and they said there's a sign up booth over there somewhere…"

Triple crud? Is that possible? You sense of course that the entire mood of the group has shifted. Thanks so much for the help there, Steven.

"Wait. Wait. Wait." Agravaine holds his hands up to quiet the group who are on the verge of losing it then points at me. "They are called Knights?" I nod and his brow furrows. "They wear bathrobes for goodness sakes (yes, not his real wording but the fic rating). They do not even have real swords, they just have those sticks that glow and… Really how do you build attractions around such…incompetence…and…just…" He stops and gestures around before snorting/sighing in frustration.

"So wait…is this about where the attractions are that feature Knights?" I nod at Steven who snorts and shakes his head. "They get an entire Renaissance festival for however many weekends each summer and they're pissing and moaning about some Jedi's for a week?"

At this point I pinch the bridge of my nose and slowly nod my head. Apparently Steven does not grasp the magnitude of the predicament.

"All we want to know is where the Knightly attractions are or where the souvenirs from our movie are located since it was produced and distributed by subsidiaries of the Walt Disney Movie Picture Studios." Dag again states his case succinctly, again folding his arms over his chest, and all I can do is look at Steven and shrug because I am totally and completely at a loss for words. Well, I do know of one explanation but I'm not telling them that it's because their movie wasn't exactly a blockbuster success and only the blockbusters get featured in the Park…silently I pray Steven decides not to go down that path either because, well, we all know that would not have a happy ending.

"Well most movie production studios are in California. So if you have a real problem with it, I guess you need to head on over to Disney in Cali…" Steven shrugs and walks away leaving both me and the Knights simply staring at his back.

"OK…well…uhm…so…yeah. Movie production stuff goes to California Disney so, uh, yeah…either take your grievance there or give it a rest…" I nod and back away, hastily following Steven and Ewie who are headed toward the gates so, apparently, Ewie has agreed and we're going to take advantage of the park hopper thing to make a visit to the Magic Kingdom today as well. Lovely.

A/N: I'm leaving off here because the Magic Kingdom of the rat should have its own space. Hopefully this was a tad more amusing than the last chapter. I'm trying. Really.