WARNING: This is YAOI, boys loving boys, and uses pairings in the Lucky and Yullen variety and sexual things will happen periodically throughout the story. If you aren't a fan then you don't have to read. Possible OOC but I try my best to stay as true enough to the characters as I can. Be aware that spoilers will arise. Language, sex, lemons, fluff, etc. will follow in this and subsequent chapters. You have your warning.
DISCLAIMER: Everything D.G-M belongs to Hoshino-sensei; everything else is mine.
AN: Quick little note…or two. This is a fairly long chapter so I hope you enjoy Also, it was pointed out to me that since I'm writing Allen/Kanda with Allen seme that I should say this is AreKan. However, I'm not a fan of saying that so I just call everything where they're a pairing Yullen; either way they're together and I'm happy. If you're really upset that I'm not using AreKan, I'm sorry but this is my preference as a writer and who knows what will happen in the future~
What Comes from Fighting Like Children
"Well now, this'll be interesting," the red head said as he sat back in his seat with a smirk, his arms folding in front of his chest.
Allen's head rang from a slight pressure he had only just recently felt when he talked with Neah for the first time. He closed his eyes momentarily to get his wits about him. In that brief moment, Neah assured him all would be fine and told Allen to just breathe.
Taking in a deep breath, Allen opened his eyes again. "So what have you been keeping from us, Bookman?" Neah asked.
Allen scowled. "Don't be so mean," he scolded Neah. The Noah rolled his eyes. Lavi was finding this quite comical, really. It wasn't every day that one could witness a live conversation with someone who had multiple personalities. However, he kept his little happy chuckle to himself since he knew this was for business. The fact that Kanda's gaze exuberated murder should the Bookman make any kind of comment to the matter that wasn't professional also kept the red head in line.
Lavi watched on as he witnessed the interaction of the two stuck within one body. He wondered if all the Noah exchanged control like this when shifting between human and not human. His eye glanced at Tyki scrubbing away at dishes with Lenalee but quickly focused back onto his friend. He noticed Kanda shifted slightly where he sat, sensing his discomfort at what was happening by the way the swordsman's jaw line clenched tightly and his brow knit together. If he hadn't noticed the slight facial change, Kanda's tight grip on Mugen would have been enough to tip anyone off that the swordsman was beyond irritated.
"Ok, first we set ground rules. No talking unless you're addressed," Lavi demanded.
"Excuse me?" Neah retorted. "Clearly you don't know who you are talking to."
"Yeah, actually I do, Mr. 14th Noah."
Neah snarled slightly. "Explain yourself then."
"Having both of you present for this talk is going to be taxing enough on Allen. And having both of you try to speak at the same time is going to make things a lot harder and more confusing unless we know who's speaking and when."
Neah huffed and sat back in his chair, sulking at how right the Bookman was.
Lavi smirked in triumph. He breathed in and exhaled the deep breath. As he did, his eye lost its usual vibrancy, becoming an older, more knowing orb that now looked out at the people in front of it: Bookman's eye.
"I have been keeping things from you and for that I apologize, but there were things I needed to double check on before I told you about the contents within that file General Cross left for Allen. I still wasn't able to decipher everything because the clues are hidden behind magic and I cannot penetrate those barriers as a mere apprentice. Those spells were set up by Cross and it would take someone on his level to get past them or someone with all the knowledge of a full-fledged Bookman," he paused long enough for the others to nod in understanding. Sensing the acceptance of what he was implying, he continued. "I was able to understand most of it, though. Neah, you mentioned Allen had to find a missing piece of his Innocence, right?" The Noah nodded. "Well it isn't so much his Innocence, is it?" Neah sat still, completely unresponsive to what Lavi was implying and, in acting that way, answering the question well enough. "Thought so. I had to do a little digging in the Order's library to find what I was looking for but it was there. Apparently there is a piece of Innocence that is the heart of all Innocence and the key to defeating the Earl. However, it has been cleverly hidden and no one knows of its whereabouts."
The Brit's hand shot up in the air as if he were in class, ready to answer a question.
"Yes Allen?" Lavi asked. He knew it was his friend asking just by his mannerisms. From what he had seen of Neah, the Bookman's apprentice knew that the Noah would never act so boyishly.
"So, by finding it, what will that do to me?" Allen questioned.
"If what I've found is correct, and it usually is," the red head said smugly, "combining the power of your Innocence with the heart will create an ultimate weapon that will be able to over power the Earl. And with the strength and power of the Noah Neah represents, you should be unstoppable."
"I see," Allen said as he sat back in his chair, letting the information swirl in his mind.
"But what about the other message you left on the golem?" Kanda bit out as he made reference to Timcampy as it sat on Allen's head.
"That was true too," Lavi interjected before Neah could respond. "Apparently, Cross made mention in that file that because of what happened between Neah and the Earl and Mana, certain things fell into place. Allen will have to kill someone close to him in order to fulfill his destiny, yes, but at the same time," he paused, his eye drifting to the side and the Bookman receding back into his mind, leaving Lavi's normal eye staring back at his friends.
"But, what, Lavi?" Allen asked, swallowing at what he might hear.
The red head looked grimly at his friend and then smiled softly, trying to make this as painless as possible. "It said you have to lose yourself to find yourself."
Confused, Allen's face scrunched, the gold in one of his eyes faded back to grey and all that remained of Neah was a hint of his aura. "What does that even mean?" the Brit questioned.
"I wish I knew," Lavi lied. He didn't have it in him to tell his friend the truth, especially when his friend was—hopefully—smart enough to realize what was held behind those words and could figure the riddle out. However, Allen could be pretty dense sometimes. Lavi shrugged mentally and could only sit by and let fate take its course; he was, after all, a Bookman and, as such, he was bound by an oath to not interfere more than he should have to.
"Ugh, I don't get it," Allen puffed up and sulked in his seat. "I have to lose myself to find myself? Stupid master and his stupid riddles," his fuming turned inward and all that could be heard were mumbles of incomprehensible speech.
Kanda smirked an almost devilish smirk. "Baka Moyashi. It isn't that hard for you to lose yourself. Who was it that needed an escort after the mission in Spain?"
Allen stopped his muttering and the air around him turned icy cold as he faced Kanda with a smile that sent shivers down Lavi's spine. Oh shit, Demon Allen, the red head thought as he scooted further back in his chair, hoping that the slight distance would shield him from the fight that he knew was coming.
"That wasn't my fault, Kanda," Allen said almost too gently.
"You were still lost, Moyashi. If I recall, it took a team of finders and three accommodators to find you."
"It's Allen, BaKanda. And I was only looking for more clues about the Innocence."
"Oh really?" an apocalyptic smile crept onto Kanda's face. "Then how can you explain the state you were in when I found you? Starving, worn out from fighting and half dead?"
The silver haired general started to ramble to defend himself against the verbal assault. "That was because of…well you see…the Akuma…" He couldn't get out even one come back at what Kanda had said. With his temper flared, he yelled out a "Screw this!" as he lunged at the swordsman, toppling him over and sending him flying toward the floor. Kanda landed with a thud, Allen on top of him and throwing punches. A couple landed on his face but Kanda's instincts kicked in all too quickly and he retaliated, fighting to change their positions. Using his strength, he pushed Allen to the side just as one of the Brit's fists made contact with his cheek. Without thinking about it, his own fist struck out and made contact, sending Allen reeling back just enough for Kanda to slide free from being pinned. Allen stared at the swordsman for a brief second before he lost all his composure. His face went blank and his reasoning fell to the wayside.
Lavi jumped from his seat just as Allen flung himself back into the fight, taking care to get away while the other two men went at it. Allen had Kanda pushed onto the floor once more and the two were rolling around throwing punches in every direction and their bodies kept bumping into the furniture, causing certain things to fall and crash onto the ground.
Lenalee ran into the room after hearing the scuffle and Tyki was close behind her, sighing as he realized the mess that was going to be made because of the two accommodators.
"Lavi! Do something!" Lenalee pleaded.
The red head took a cautious step forward but almost got his leg torn off by the two quarreling on the ground. "You know," he recoiled his hand, "I'd rather not."
"Stupid brats," Tyki muttered as he stormed over to the supposed lovers. As he neared, a fist came flying and it passed right through his leg. Then came a swift kick that went through just like the fist. He stopped in the middle of the two men and pushed them away from one another using his super human strength. Allen landed near Lavi and Kanda landed against the couch, his head hitting it rather hard. Lavi grabbed onto Allen and held him firmly so as to keep him from going anywhere. Lenalee stood in front of Kanda scowling, knowing the swordsman wouldn't hit a girl, especially when that girl was Lenalee and if she were hurt, he would have to answer to Komui and he really, really, really did not want that.
"Fucking asshole!" Kanda growled as he shot up from the ground. Lenalee glared at him before latching herself onto his arm, a small restraint but an effective one.
Allen stuck his tongue out in a rather childish manner.
"Lavi, would you be so kind as to escort Mr. Walker to Chief Komui's office?" Tyki said with a sliver of anger in his tone, even though he was doing his best to keep his own composure.
Lavi nodded and herded his kicking and screaming friend outside.
As the door shut, Tyki turned to Kanda. Having a stare down with an angry Japanese swordsman was new to the Noah, but he had dealt with worse; the looks the Earl could give would have the bravest man cowering in a corner. He waited long enough for the other two men to be on their way down the elevator before finally addressing Kanda.
"Is that anyway to act in another person's home?" he chastised.
"This is not your home, Noah," Kanda seethed. "Get out of my way."
He pulled his arm from Lenalee's hold, stomped toward the door and slammed it in one swift motion. Tyki sighed as he surveyed his once clean living and dining room.
"What is going on?" Lenalee asked.
"It seems to be a lover's spat of some sort," he replied as he picked up the dining room chairs that had been knocked over in the brawl. He frowned when he noticed one of the lamps had been knocked over and shattered as well. Among the broken shards were strings of ripped fabric from the tablecloth and probably a shirt or two considering how torn the two's clothes had been when they left.
"Why don't you go check on that uncouth thing that just left, Miss Lenalee," he said, referring to Kanda. "I'll see to Walker." The only reason he suggested for them to check on the two accommodators was mainly due to the fact that he didn't want to clean at the moment. Something had set the two off and, though he didn't really care, it had happened in his room and he could tell it had caused his lover grief and he wasn't about to allow such things to happen in his presence without knowing why.
-SCENE CHANGE-
"What the hell was that!" Lavi exclaimed on the elevator. He leaned against the metal wall with his arms crossed and his eye glaring at his young friend.
Allen fumed in the corner of the moving machine, arms crossed as well; he was emitting a fearsome aura that gave the sense that he could go off again at any moment. He was aware that Lavi was with him but he kept muttering under his breath and really didn't hear the red head's questions.
"That bloody bastard! I swear I'm going to kill that uphill gardening* arse if it's the last thing I do!" he fumed.
Lavi cautiously approached his friend. "Maa-maa, considering you might actually do just that, why don't you calm down first and let's talk about this?" he tried to alleviate the tension in the elevator.
A large black fist pounded into the wall next to Lavi. The red head gulped and froze where he stood seeing as Allen had activated his Innocence and punched the wall directly behind him. "There's nothing to talk about," the Brit raged.
Fuck. Black Allen. If there was one thing Lavi knew well about Allen, it was his mood swings. There was cute, innocent, calm Allen; Demon Allen that came out when he was mostly around Kanda; and then there was Black Allen. This side of his friend was the one that Lavi had a hard time dealing with because this Allen walked a fine line of stableness. One wrong word, and you'd end up in the hospital for a week if his temper flared in your direction when he was in this mode. Lavi gulped.
"Ehehehe. Maybe Yuu's just on his period or something," Lavi tried once more to calm things down. Black fingers wrapped around his neck, pulling him in close.
"Don't call him that," Allen warned.
Shocked, Lavi struggled, trying to grasp at the hand around his neck, his fingers playing at prying it away. However, Allen's grip tightened and it took all Lavi had to breath for the moment.
The red head retaliated even though he knew that his life could possibly be on the line, but he was never one to think much before acting when it came to his friends. "Damnit Allen! First you're about to kill him, now you're defending him? I take it back; maybe you're the one on the period!" Shit, shouldn't have said that. That thought was the last one he had before he went flying through the air. Luckily, the elevator door opened and he missed hitting it. However, his body went soaring through the hallway and he hit the opposite wall hard, falling face first on the ground as Allen stepped out of the elevator.
Blood ran from Lavi's nose and he wiped it with the back of his hand, the small amount smearing all over his black glove. He looked up just as Allen stood over him.
"Would you like to say that again?" Allen questioned. "Or would you—"
Allen's words were cut off as he felt a small prick on his neck. Moving his hand up, he pulled a small dart from his skin and looked to his side just in time to see Komui standing next to Tyki and Reever with an all too happy grin on his face. The next thing he knew, all was dark.
Lavi pulled himself off the ground and stood over his friend. "Komui, I have to ask, what was in that?"
The maniacal grin beamed from the Chief of the Order. "Nothing to worry about, Lavi; it was only a mild sedative," the Chinese man answered. "As I understand it, things got a little heated between our resident swordsman and Brit, hmm?"
"That would be an understatement, Komui," Lavi answered, rubbing his now sore neck. "I've never seen them fight like that before. Yeah, they're at each other's throats a lot, but never to the extent of having a physical fight."
Komui patted Lavi's shoulder. "My dear boy, clearly you haven't been here long enough," he said as he passed by Lavi and helped Reever gather Allen's body. "It's been about four months since their last fight like this. Just give them time and they'll be the happy couple they normally are." He smiled before leaving with Allen in tow.
Lavi rubbed his elbow, shaking the pain from where he hit the wall. Tyki came up beside him and held the arm up, taking a moment to check it over.
"Nothing's broken," he said.
"Of course it isn't," Lavi said as he jerked his arm away, gritting his teeth at the tender pain.
"What about your nose?" Tyki asked, examining that next.
Lavi pushed the hand out of his face. "I'm fine, Tyki. I can handle a little fight like this no problem, alright?"
Tyki wasn't happy with the tone in Lavi's voice and he glared down at the younger man. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, a bit defensive at how he was being treated.
He didn't know why, but that one simple question irritated him to no end and all the things that he had kept bottled up erupted into one fearsome verbal lashing toward his lover. "Oh gee, I don't know. My two best friends just decided to have a fight out of nowhere and without any explanation; I got thrown OUT of an elevator by a GENERAL's Innocence and my happy time with my friends was ruined!" he huffed out, glaring at his lover. "And to top it all off, Bookman's still missing; my job is kicking my ass and you aren't being honest with me!" his words echoed in the hallway and a few finders peered out from various rooms.
Tyki noticed this and turned toward his lover. "You're creating a scene, Lavi. We should take this conversation to a more private area," he insisted as he tried to herd Lavi onward to an empty room.
The red head knocked his lover's hand away. "Fuck you Tyki!" he said before storming off, leaving a rather bewildered and pissed off Noah in the corridor.
-SCENE CHANGE-
Kanda refused to open his eyes while he sat in the Order's dojo, meditating and trying to calm down. He sensed Lenalee enter and sit down beside him but she didn't say anything. He wrinkled his brow further, trying to get everything off of his mind. However, due to the throbbing that came from his jaw as it healed, he was unable to find that happy place he normally found while meditating.
He clenched his teeth and grimaced at the pain.
"Kanda?" Lenalee asked, wary of how he would respond.
"Che," he answered, huffing through his nose before looking at her. "What?" he snapped.
"Um, want to talk about it?" she asked lovingly.
"When hell freezes over," he answered bluntly and quickly closed his eyes once more.
"Then how about going to the nurse for your wounds?"
"They'll heal," he said a bit more calmly. "If you're going to sit here and babysit me, then stop talking."
She smiled faintly, knowing that he wasn't about to leave and get her in trouble.
He tried to clear his mind but he had no idea why the Moyashi had jumped him like that and picked a fight. He thought they had gotten past the physical violence after they admitted their feelings—correction: when Allen admitted his feelings because Kanda Yuu does not talk about feelings.
He shivered then sighed. As much as he fought it in his mind, he did not want to admit that he really did know why Allen was acting this way. He knew that the reason for his lover's outburst was because of his own attitude lately. But he had a damn good reason for it and the Moyashi just needed to understand that not everything could be communicated and 'talked' about. This was Kanda's battle, plain and simple.
Without saying anything, he continued to sit and meditate while Lenalee worked on her own version of meditation.
"Breath quieter and focus on nothing but the silence," Kanda reminded her.
She chuckled slightly before composing herself, regaining her focus and meditating with her friend in peace.
-SCENE CHANGE-
Allen groggily sat up. He blinked to clear his vision and try to figure out where he was. The shadows around him moved here and there and he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. When he opened them again, he noticed Komui and Reever standing in front of Komui's desk going over some sort of document. The Chinese man looked up from his work, peering over the mug he just took a sip from.
"Oh you're awake," he said, sitting down the mug. He quickly finished with Reever and dismissed him, the second in command nodding in response before taking his leave.
"What's going on?" Allen muttered, scratching his head.
"That's what I would like to know," Komui said as he sat down next to Allen on the small love seat he kept in his office. "The two of you haven't had a fight like that in months and the last time it happened, I believe it was because you blurted out your feelings for a certain swordsman," his eyebrow raised with the question.
"Well, yeah. That was technically my fault but this time it was totally his!" Allen pointed out, crossing his arms in defiance.
"What did Kanda do?"
Allen eyed him cautiously. "It's what he didn't do. Something's going on with him and he's been avoiding everyone lately."
"That's usual for him, though."
Allen shook his head. "This is different. He's avoiding me. Even when he's in one of his pissy ass moods, he still doesn't avoid me. He'll make some excuse to at least be in the same room as me or try to pick a small, verbal fight. The past few days, he's been staying in his room, keeping it locked, going everywhere by himself and when I look for him, it's as if he didn't even exist. It might not seem different to everyone else, but there is definitely something going on with him and he won't tell me."
"Have you tried talking to him?" Komui asked.
"You think that hasn't crossed my mind?" Allen was a bit disheartened that Komui thought so little of his intelligence that he'd think Allen hadn't thought of that yet. "I cornered him about two days ago to ask him what was going on. Up until then, we were still okay, still going through our normal routine. But there was something hiding in his eyes and I asked him why he was acting strange. He told me it was none of my business and I should just leave him alone."
Komui nodded as he listened. His long legs shifted and crossed left over right. His white coat fell open and revealed his black slacks and white button up shirt. "Perhaps you should have let it be then."
"I couldn't help it! He was being a bloody arse and after I had just gotten all that information thrown at me!" Allen gasped, froze on the inside and threw his hands over his mouth.
Komui's eyes glistened with excitement. "What was that?" his evil smile asked.
"Nothing," Allen said, standing abruptly, hands falling to his side. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go apologize." Allen made to walk away but Komui hindered his escape by grabbing onto his wrist. He wasn't sure when Komui had moved from his seat, but the Chief of the Order was too fast sometimes when it came to things he was interested in. Anyone would know that if they looked at how he behaved toward his sister or his Komrin experiments.
"I do have more tranquilizers if I need them, Allen. So please, won't you stay with me and have a chat?" the Chinese man tilted his head, the smile radiating anything but a warm welcome. Allen carefully sat back down, finding a place as far away from Komui as possible on that tiny seat.
Seeing the young man comply, Komui addressed him again. "Now, would any of that information you just found out explain why your eyes are amber?"
-SCENE CHANGE-
Allen rolled over in his bed, pushing the recent memories to the side. Things had been so crazy with the fight with Kanda, finding out everything from Lavi and even Komui finding out the truth about Neah that he was exhausted. He had tried so hard to keep it all hidden, but he knew eventually he would be found out. He sighed, turning to his side before closing his eyes. Tim nestled up against his head.
He wasn't happy that things had turned out this way, but there was nothing he could do now. He hoped Komui would keep his word and remain quiet about Neah for as long as possible; however, he felt that the obligation he had to the Order would cause the information to get leaked sooner rather than later. Nothing he could do but wait.
His thoughts went from Komui to Kanda: the source of most of his problems. He scowled at himself for being so mean to him the past couple of days, but he deserved it for acting like he was. What kind of lover kept things from his partner? He figured that since he had shared things about the 14th with Kanda that the swordsman would be willing to do the same. Guess that was asking too much of him, his thoughts surmised. Getting nowhere in his thoughts, he turned over in his bed once more and closed his eyes, hoping that a nice long sleep would help him clear his mind.
-LINE BREAK-
Lavi shoved another finished book aside. He had done it; he had actually yelled at Tyki and had a real fight with him. He knew that couples fought and it was a natural thing but no one had told him that it hurt like this. He felt so bad, almost guilty for yelling and storming off like he did. Tyki was only trying to help, only trying to make sure he was okay. After all, the Noah was quite tender and gentle toward the red head when compared to others.
Thinking over everything, Lavi realized that most of the blame was his and he concluded that he needed time to think about how to make things better. He sat in the rafters of the Order's library, reading a few of his favorite books. This was his place of solitude, his fortress. Here he could lose himself in pages upon pages of information and story. He had done so in the past and thought it could help this time. He was wrong.
Letting out a sigh, he looked down below and watched as the few finders that were in the library scuttled about. That's when he saw him. Tyki was looking around, hands in his trouser pockets, probably searching for Lavi and knowing where the red head would most likely be. Lavi wanted so much to just let his lover know where he was so he could apologize but he still needed a little more time. As he watched his lover walk around, he wondered what Tyki was thinking. Suddenly, the Portuguese man looked his way and he turned his head just as their eyes met. Lavi's heart throbbed in his chest and he clutched his shirt over the organ. He took a deep breath, hoping that no one would hear the increased beating.
After he finally calmed himself, he looked back down to where Tyki was only to find the Noah gone. He frowned slightly but knew it was for the best that he not see him right now. He would explain everything later as he apologized to the older man.
Lavi turned his gaze back to the high window that sat opposite of the rafter he was on. He looked outside and watched the city lights sparkle through the glass. Life seemed easier out there. Had he not come across the Order, he would still be in his little apartment doing his duty to the Clan and complaining about Bookman's idea of 'fun'. However, that wasn't the case now. His once normal Bookman life was now engrossed with the Order and there was no way out unless they either defeated the Earl or he, himself, was killed in the line of duty. He had come to accept that fate a while ago. What he hadn't yet accepted was his own destiny. He sighed and closed his eyes. He needed to talk to himself.
-SCENE CHANGE-
Lavi walked through his inner mind, this time able to breath normally as the fire that raged within him the last time he was there had quelled substantially. Since his previous visit, he had taken time to settle his feelings on a lot of different issues and, because of his decisions, he now had a clearer mind. However, there was one decision that he had yet to make.
He opened the door to the room where the guardian stood watch and his eye widened as he shut the door behind him, his gaze staying forward as he did so. The once tiny tree now towered above the guardian, its branches reaching far above them. The buds had yet to bloom but they seemed very close. The guardian was busy watering the tree and stopped when he felt Lavi enter.
"You have done well so far," he stated. "But you have yet to decide."
"I know," Lavi answered. "That's kind of why I'm here."
The guardian sat the watering can down. Lavi wondered how such a thing could exist in his mind, but he figured it wasn't so much an actual watering can as it was the idea of one that nurtures and supplies the tree of knowledge with what it needed. He walked in further, enough to place the palm of his hand on the tree.
"They all know something's changed in me," Lavi started. "Yet I can't tell them what or why. I know that Bookman still lives and I know the reason this little guy grew so much is because of what the Noah did to him. The memories and right of passage has already started; I can no longer hide away as just an apprentice. I am becoming Bookman," he caressed the tree tenderly before turning around to face the guardian. "I can't tell them anything that's happened either because I am sworn to keep the Bookman line safe."
"It is so with all that take up the title," the guardian replied.
Lavi nodded. "I know my duties and I will fulfill them. But," he trailed off, contemplating if he really wanted to make this decision right now. He thought about things one more time, taking each individual thing into consideration. He was Bookman, or would be within the next few months. He wanted to be. But, he also wanted to be Lavi—a person who had a normal human life with normal human friends and a normal human lover. He wanted the feelings, wanted to live…wanted a heart. Taking a deep breath, he addressed the guardian. "I know what it means to be Bookman. I know the protocol and I know what happens to those who break it." He turned back to the tree. "But it's time to change. Bookman can still perform their duty if they have a heart. I'm living proof of that. Yes, feelings will play a part in our lives and they might hinder us to some extent, however," he faced the guardian once more, a steadfast resolve in his eye. "Those same feelings can give us a strength that we had never known before. It pushes us to know more, to learn more so that we can keep our loved ones safe from the ugly side of the world. Having that knowledge alone can be an incredible asset to the Clan."
The guardian looked at Lavi as he paused, assessing him thoroughly. "Your choice, then?" he asked, his power to judge hanging on whatever Lavi was about to say.
Lavi held his resolve. He knew that he would have to face this sooner or later and that his decision would change the line forever. He also knew that he would have to suffer the consequences should he not be allowed his decision. His gaze did not falter when he answered. "I choose Lavi."
The guardian moved as soon as Lavi spoke the words. He walked up next to Lavi and looked at the young apprentice. "Very well," he said. He unwrapped his right hand, removing the cloth bandages that covered his skin. Holding it up, Lavi made out the spell that had been tattooed on the fair skin. He stood his ground as the guardian's hand hovered in front of his face. A white light surrounded the tattoo and small glyphs appeared from the guardian's hand, enclosing Lavi's body in some sort of force field. Lavi wasn't scared and remained calm, letting the guardian fulfill his duty.
"I stand as guardian to the successor of Bookman. I am judge and protector; my decisions are law," he started the ritual that all successors would go through once they obtained the title of Bookman; but Lavi felt this was different somehow but couldn't pinpoint why. "To the one known now as 'Lavi'. You were chosen as the successor to the Bookman line and have taken an oath to protect and continue what your predecessors started. By your own words, you have chosen a path that deviates from that oath. As guardian, I am aware of what it is that you have seen, what you have endured, and what you have been through. I stand before you now as judge. Will you hear the verdict?"
Lavi nodded.
"You shall stay as Lavi and never fully become Bookman. You have chosen a lonely path as no one within the Clan can help you should you need it. However, you will be welcomed as long as your business pertains to the Clan but will be shunned for your disrespect of the old ways. This tree of knowledge will continue to grow and, upon the death of your mentor, you shall inherit all his knowledge. In a way, you will be Bookman but you will never hold that title officially. Do you understand this sentence?"
"I do," Lavi answered.
"I shall remain to watch over and protect this area. Should your decision to remain 'Lavi' come to harm the knowledge held within, I will, with all the power granted to me, be forced to activate the failsafe. Do you understand this?"
"Yes," he answered.
With that last verbal agreement, the guardian lowered his hand and the glyphs surrounding Lavi disappeared. The guardian wrapped his hand back up and turned from the red head's view.
"Off the record," the guardian began as he stared at the tree, "I need to say this."
"Go ahead; you are part of me now," Lavi encouraged.
"I understand what you've decided and I want to encourage you in the decision you have made. I've watched over so many young apprentices and they've all struggled at some point with the decision to remain loyal only to the oath they took. I've watched their confusion, their feelings, their hearts break away and disappear into the void. You are the only one that wouldn't let that happen," he turned back to Lavi. "I hope you take care of the chance you have been given. If at any point you fail to uphold what you have sworn to do, I will separate Lavi from you so that not even a trace will remain and you will be Bookman. As much as I want you to succeed in this, I will not hesitate to protect the knowledge you will inherit. Understand?"
"I do, guardian. I wouldn't have made the decision if I weren't aware of the consequences should I fail. But I won't fail. I will show the Clan that we can change and still keep thriving as Bookmen."
"I hope you can," the guardian said as he went back to watering the tree.
Lavi smiled faintly at the back of the guardian. He turned on his heels and headed toward the door, knowing it was time to get back and make amends for his attitude earlier. As he neared the door, he stopped.
Without turning around, he asked the question he had wanted to since his first encounter with this guardian. "Who are you, really?"
The guardian refused to turn as well, keeping his gaze on the living tree of knowledge. "I am Lavi," he answered.
The red head smirked. Of course he wouldn't give me a real answer, he thought as he reached for the handle on the door. "Well then, Lavi, let's work together and see this through, shall we?"
-LINE BREAK-
Allen turned over in his bed, his eyes barely opening. He squinted at the bright light coming from his alarm clock. The red digital numbers weren't quite what he was hoping to wake up to, but he wasn't expecting much else at the moment considering what had happened between him and a certain cold hearted samurai wanna-be. After taking a two-hour nap, he figured it would be best to get up and find some food and then try to figure out how to make up with Kanda. But that was easier said than done; always had been. He sighed and sat up in bed, yawning and stretching as he did.
Tim fluttered over to him and pulled gently on his silver tresses.
"Nn, what is it Tim?"
The golem looked a bit exasperated and started swirling around his master's head.
"Ok. I'm up," Allen replied. "Something wrong?"
Tim flew to the door and hovered in front of it, hoping his master would understand.
Allen trudged over to the door in his now wrinkled t-shirt and dark jeans. He ran his hand through his hair to try and fix his bed head, hoping that whatever Tim wanted him to do wouldn't take that long. He opened the door and the golem flew out of it. Putting his shoes on, the Brit followed.
The golden golem led the young general down the twisting hallways of the Order's older section. This particular area wasn't used that often and was more like a storage facility now. Turning a corner, Tim stopped in front of a run down door.
As Allen walked up to it, he heard voices come from the other side. He noticed them instantly as Kanda and Lenalee. Quietly, he crouched beside the door and listened to their 'private' conversation.
"You know, Allen wouldn't act like that if you didn't instigate him," Lenalee said.
Kanda huffed. "He's an idiot; he'll always be an idiot and that side of him will keep getting him into trouble," his words having no bite to them but sounding more endearing than anything else toward Lenalee's ears.
"Kanda," Lenalee's voice was soft and understanding. "You know, you might come off as some sort of hard ass, but you're actually quite the softy underneath. What was that term I came across the other day…" she thought as she put her finger to her chin, thinking back over the mange she had read. "Oh yeah!" she exclaimed. "Tsundere."
The Japanese man stopped his meditating and looked at her with horrific shock blatantly displayed on his face.
"I'm serious," she said as if she hadn't realized the landmine she had just stepped on. Allen cringed and feared for her safety outside the door. "Don't give me that look. I've known you for years, Kanda; you didn't think I didn't notice?" she placed her small hand on his bicep. "Allen loves you and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your relationship, I'm sure of it. He worked too hard to get your heart so he isn't going to do anything that would make him lose it," she smiled and his face returned to its normal I-hate-everyone-glare but yet he looked a bit contemplative. Lenalee removed her hand. "Now, I don't know what caused him to react the way he did earlier, but I'm sure you do, ne?" her head cocked to the side as she smiled that all-knowing smile that she shared in common with her brother.
"Che," Kanda muttered, crossing his arms over his chest while averting his eyes. "It's none of the Moyashi's business."
Lenalee leaned forward slightly, just enough to see the swordsman's face. Her curiosity showed itself through the gleaming purple eyes that looked up at him. "What's none of his business?" she inquired, hoping he would keep talking.
His eyes darted to the side, catching hers. "Nothing."
"Of course," she agreed sarcastically. "You know, I've heard that when two people are in a relationship, they normally rely on one another for strength and support when they come across something challenging."
"There's nothing he can help me with."
"Even so," she said as she leaned back on her hands and looked upward, "he can still be there for you to listen or just offer a shoulder to lean on."
He refused to look at her and she knew that he was done talking. Sighing, she stood and dusted her skirt off. Heading toward the door, she turned around and looked back at Kanda. "Will you please just think about it?" she asked. He shifted and she barely was able to hear the small grunt he let out to answer her question. She smiled and bounced toward the door.
Allen scrambled to remove himself from where he sat but he had nowhere to go. He back peddled on his hands hoping to at least get into the corner before she came out. The door opened and she closed it behind her. The smile that beamed down at him sent shivers through his body.
She bent down and wrapped her hands over her knees. "Allen," she asked a bit too chipper.
"He-hey Lenalee," he tried to keep Kanda from hearing.
In a split second, the door was ripped open and Kanda stood towering over the two. He glared at Allen and stomped over to where he sat, leaning forward just enough to grab the Brit by the forearm. Yanking Allen up, Kanda left the corridor—Allen in tow—without a word to Lenalee.
-LINE BREAK-
Allen hit the wall hard, his head banging against the cold brick of Kanda's bedroom wall. He leaned forward and rubbed the new bump but stopped when he felt Kanda press against him. Looking up, he met a pair smoldering sapphire eyes.
"What the hell?" Allen asked. His nose wrinkled at the childish way Kanda was acting.
"What did you hear?" Kanda asked.
Allen looked a bit puzzled and confused; then it dawned on him. "Nothing," he answered, averting his eyes.
Kanda pulled the Brit's face back to meet his. "Don't lie to me."
The stare down lasted only a few seconds but it felt like ages to both men. Finally, Allen sighed and answered truthfully about what he had overheard.
"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, honestly, Kanda. But it happened and I'm sorry, okay? I know that you don't want to talk to me about anything and, even though it hurts, I'm willing to accept it." When Allen glanced up at Kanda, he realized just how puzzled and shocked the Japanese man was.
Kanda pursed his lips together and contemplated how to reply to the Moyashi. He turned away from Allen and made for the door of his bedroom. Allen felt dejected yet again and, if anyone had been looking at him, his feelings were displayed through the sagging of his body and the sad look on his face. He was, after all, at his wits end in trying to understand Kanda's situation and why the swordsman wouldn't talk to him.
Said swordsman reached the door and Allen waited to hear it open and then slam shut. But it didn't. The click of the lock catching caught his ears and his face jerked up in puzzlement as he watched Kanda. The Japanese man strode back over to the Brit, grabbed his arm and then forced him over to the bed where they both sat down.
Before Allen could protest or ask anything, Kanda began talking. "When I was little, I had a very close friend; his name was Alma."
"You had a friend?" Allen inquired.
Kanda shot him a look that told the Brit that if he didn't shut up and listen, he would never hear what he was about to say.
Allen pursed his lips together and covered his mouth with his hands to show that he would remain quiet.
"He was my best friend, though most of the time I hated his all too happy attitude. He grated my nerves so much but he was able to match me in everything. I came to respect him and we had an interesting friendship. We both trained at the same dojo and had the same sensei. He praised us equally and told everyone how no one could match our strength. But then sensei started pitting us together more and more to see who was weaker. He wanted to raise the best and he needed to find out which one of us would get that title.
"When we were twelve, we were entered into a competition and the two of us ended up being in the finals together. In front of the world, we were made to fight one another. The match went on for hours, neither of us relenting in the fight. The officials tried to get us to stop but when they interfered, they were the ones being sent to the medical wing. After about six hours of nonstop fighting, I finally managed to gain a winning point. I was acknowledged as the winner and we went home. But I saw the disappointment in sensei's face; I knew he wanted Alma to be the better fighter, to be the best.
"After the tournament, things started to change. Sensei would train us individually without the other knowing anything about the other's training regiment. When we were around each other, I started noticing a change in Alma. His attitude changed drastically and I saw marks on his arms that wouldn't be caused by a shinai along with other things that just didn't add up. When I confronted him about his training, he got pissy and refused to talk to me. So I did what I thought would be the best thing and I snuck into the dojo on a day I knew he would be training. What I saw scared the shit out of me, Allen. Sensei was in the room watching as some weird guys in lab coats were performing experiments on Alma. He was strapped to a table and they were injecting something into his arms. When he came off the table, he was different; he was enraged. He attacked the opponents sensei sent at him relentlessly and didn't care who or what he hit as long as his rage could be let out. Sensei stood by smiling and saying 'excellent' over and over each time someone fell at Alma's hand."
Allen sat there silent and mortified at what he was hearing. This had to have been very traumatic for a young kid to witness and he just now realized how hard it was for Kanda to talk about it. However, he would let the swordsman finish and then would offer whatever he could.
"I was shocked and as I started running away, I tripped on something and sensei found me. He took me into the dojo and made me watch my best friend almost kill his opponents. As his last one fell, he caught sight of me and smiled that gentle, stupid smile he always had on. I don't remember much of what happened after that. All I remember is seeing him dash toward the katana and then seeing red. A lot of red. I don't even remember having Mugen but, at the time, all I could see was myself still meeting him blow for blow as I fought him off, hoping he would come to his senses. He smiled and lunged at me, telling me we both had to die and atone for our sins.
"When I woke up, I was here in the Order and Tiedoll was talking with Komui. I could handle the blood; I could handle the fighting. What I couldn't handle was not knowing what had happened. I walked over to them and demanded an answer. They told me that I had been knocked unconscious and when they arrived, Alma was half dead. They couldn't explain why or how, but they said he had been taken to a facility that could help him recover."
Allen tilted his head. "That's good then, right?"
Kanda shook his head. "The experiments were too much on his body and they somehow managed to warp him beyond repair. Komui found out that the scientists that sensei had hired were pumping him full of vaccines that had particles of Innocence and the dark energy Akuma use in them; an experiment long banned by the Order. Both of us were natural accommodators and we shared the same healing power; though no one could understand why. Anyway, Komui said that Alma kept healing but the mental damage was irreparable. He signed off on the order to send Alma into some sort of sleep that would slowly heal him and pull out both the Innocence and dark energy from his body."
"So what does all of this mean, Kanda?" Allen asked, wanting to know what the point was.
"He was supposed to sleep for five years. He did and when he woke up, the rage was completely gone and the scientists, as well as Komui, thought he was healed. But it seems he put on a damn good show."
"You saw him?"
"I saw him. He was at the last Kendo meet I went to watch a few days ago. There's no way we could have missed each other. He smiled at me like he always used to but when I saw his eyes, I saw that cold fury waiting to be let out."
"So what are you going to do?" Allen asked, bringing his knees up to his chin as he reclined slightly on the bed.
"Che, fuck if I know," Kanda replied, crossing his arms in anger.
"Well, why don't you try talking to him?"
Kanda glared at Allen. "Talking? You think someone that has that much anger and hatred toward me is going to want to sit down and talk?"
"Well, what's to say you'll see each other again?" Allen asked.
"Really? Did you not listen to anything I just said? He wouldn't have shown himself if he didn't want to see me, Moyashi. By being at that tournament, he sent a challenge to me."
"What kind of challenge?" Allen asked, hesitantly.
Kanda faced Allen. "The kind that means one of us won't be coming back."
Allen's grey eyes flashed with a tint of gold. "I don't think so," he said. "You're not going to fight some crazy person with the chance of not succeeding."
"If I don't face him, he's going to come for me. Either way, this has to happen; I have no choice."
"Like hell you don't!" Allen exploded and stood next to the bed before pacing the floor. "There has to be a way that you can settle things without you chancing your life." He nibbled his nail as he thought. "Wait! What about the National tournament?"
"What about it?" Kanda asked, wondering where his lover was going.
"Why not meet him there and settle things civilly? That way, you won't be alone and neither of you will have to use any power. It can be just a fight of strength versus strength."
Kanda contemplated the idea. "It could work, but he's not part of any team that I know of and if given the chance, he won't hold back. He's out for blood; I can sense it. If we fight, it doesn't matter where, he will come at me with everything he has."
"So we give him a team," Allen said, kneeling down in front of his lover. "And if he tries anything other than fighting by the rules, we'll have as many people from the Order there as we need to make sure things don't get out of hand."
Kanda raised his eyebrow, wondering just what the Moyashi was implying. "Get him a team? How easy do you think that is?"
"If we can get him on a team that will make it to the finals, then you can fight him one on one since you are the reigning champion and whomever wins has to fight you no matter what."
Kanda nodded. "It could work, but how do you expect him to just get on a team?" he reiterated.
"Oh, leave that to me," Allen smiled up at Kanda.
"Baka Moyashi," Kanda replied as he gently smacked Allen's head before leaning down and kissing him.
Allen, shocked a bit from the sudden kiss, smiled and pushed himself up, and, in the process, pushed Kanda back on the bed. "Ne, Kanda. Does this mean I'm forgiven?" he asked through kisses.
"Che," he answered back.
Allen smiled into their kiss and pressed his body into Kanda's, both men feeling the soothing comfort of the other. The Brit raised himself slightly and his hand fiddled with a strand of Kanda's hair as the swordsman lay there with his eyes closed, content like a cat. The loud rumbling of a familiar stomach rudely interrupted the moment. Allen froze, stopped twirling Kanda's hair and two sapphire eyes shot open. All the Brit could do is smile boyishly at his lover.
"Dinner?" he asked playfully with a giggle. Kanda rolled his eyes.
-LINE BREAK-
Lavi paced the floor, wondering what to do. He had chosen to go back to the room originally assigned to him to think things through before approaching Tyki and trying to explain things, and, knowing his lover, the outcome could end in one of two ways: either Tyki lets him explain before his anger takes over, or his anger has already won and he would be one sore red head in the morning. He supposed either way he'd be sore in the morning but how he got to that state would be the question. Smooth and gentle or rough and hard; those were his only options. He shuddered thinking about and somewhere in the back of his mind he was a bit excited because, either way, he knew Tyki would never hurt him no matter how rough he got. Before he knew it, he was smiling at the thought of being dominated by the older man and he shook his head to get those thoughts out of his mind; he had more pressing issues to think about at the moment.
He stopped pacing when he heard a knock on the door. Curiously, he glanced toward the entrance, wondering who would come there since he didn't really live there. The room had been kept clean by housekeeping, yes, but all of his stuff aside from a few books and maybe an outfit or two were currently in residence at Tyki's place.
The knocking kept getting louder and louder, snapping Lavi out of his thought process and annoying him somewhat. Wrinkling his nose and rolling his eyes, he stomped over to the door. He opened it to greet whoever stood on the other side only to stand frozen when he saw who it was. His face paled and he swallowed as he stared up at his lover.
Lavi couldn't say anything; for once in his life, he was speechless. Tyki stood in the doorway, a slight tinge of grey on his normally olive skin. The red head swallowed, knowing all too well that seeing Tyki like this meant that he was having trouble holding his Noah in check. And, if that were the case, he had to make damn sure he said the right thing or else he'd find himself talking to a much deadlier side of the man.
"May I come in?" Tyki asked politely. He had spent the majority of the day wandering the Order, trying to think over what had happened. He was baffled. The only thing he had done was try to offer Lavi a place of solitude so they could talk about what was going on because the red head was making a scene. He didn't see anything wrong with what he had done and could not, in any way, figure out why Lavi had lashed out at him like that. And that made things a lot worse. With his mind preoccupied with his lover, the anger within him stirred and pushed his Noah to the surface. He could feel it now, there on the brink of coming out but he still retained control. However, his desire to use that anger as a weapon to inflict harm was just too tempting right now. He harnessed it and held steady to that line that kept him sane, hoping that this little talk with the red head would go well. If it didn't, he feared what he would unleash.
Lavi nodded and allowed the man to come inside. He walked in and waited for the door to shut. When the door closed, Lavi turned to look at his lover.
"Um, hey," Lavi said finally, feeling a little awkward. He rubbed his neck to try and subdue the tension he felt as soon as Tyki had walked in.
Tyki stood in front of him, hands in his trouser pockets. His hair was loose around his face and he had on one of his dress shirts he wore for work; all but the top three buttons were clasped and the shirt was tucked nicely into his pants. His black dress shoes shined slightly from the light in the room. The stigmata on his forehead were barely visible but were there nonetheless.
Without replying back, Tyki stared at his lover, trying to remain calm and resist any urges that flared up inside. He was angry, hurt, and horny; a deadly combination for someone like him and it was taking a lot out of him to keep himself composed. He was hurt because Lavi was being elusive; angry because he didn't know why; and he was always horny. This combination only made him want to push his lover down and take him over and over until he either apologized or explained. The thought of tying Lavi up and having his way with him excited him so that his reason was slowly slipping away and he had to make sure that he didn't lose his sanity to his darker side. With each moment that he remained on edge, he could feel the prick of the Innocence filled necklace as it pushed to penetrate his skin should he lash out.
"Listen, Tyki," Lavi began, removing his hand from his neck and not really looking at his lover, "would you like to sit down?"
"I'll stand," he replied, his tone as casual as it was earlier. However, Lavi picked up on the subtle inflection that sent shivers down his spine; he knew full well that the tone Tyki had tried to cover up meant that the Noah was close to losing it.
"Right," Lavi answered back, trying to figure out how to start things. He glanced around the room, unable to meet those amber eyes staring at him. He knew that if he did, then he'd lose his will to talk this out. "I don't really know what to say."
"Why don't you just start at the beginning and maybe I'll forgive you," Tyki lashed out; the words sank deep in Lavi's heart as Tyki spoke them.
Lavi sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? I was angry earlier and well, you know, I didn't really handle things well. Hell, I haven't been handling things well for a while. It's been one thing after another and I was trying so hard to balance it all and I guess I went a little overboard with it and could have asked for help but I didn't but now I know I should have especially if it was you," he rambled on. He glanced slightly at Tyki before finding another object to focus on. In that brief moment their eyes met, something inside of Lavi heated up and it took all he had to not let it win. He sighed and sat down in the chair next to him.
"You know, my life used to be simple; well, as simple as it could be for a Bookman. Then I met Allen and Yuu-chan. They were my first real friends and it was different. Something about it made me remember what it was like to feel something for humanity, you know? I liked that feeling but I had to hide it. I'm sure the old man knew but he noticed I was hiding it and dealing with it the way a Bookman should so I think he remained silent because of that. Anyway, things were great," he continued with a smile that reflected his memory. "But then I met you," he said, finally meeting Tyki's eyes. "You changed everything Tyki. You reawakened the heart I had sworn to leave behind when I took the Bookman oath. I'm not blaming you, I'm just trying to put things in perspective."
Tyki nodded, his fists clenching inside his pockets in order to resist the urge that kept whispering in his mind: take, dominate, claim.
He hurt you; ripped your heart out. You're not human anymore; let me deal with it.
His grip tightened on the fabric inside his pockets as he leveled his breathing and pushed the Noah's words aside. Lavi continued talking.
"When I started to love you, my mind became unstable and I had to deal with a lot. I met you, fell in love with you, had to deal with everything involving Allen and Yuu not to mention finding out about the Order, fighting the Noah and losing Bookman. I've had a lot happen to me and I know I've kind of made a soapbox out of it but this time is the last time. I need you to understand what I'm saying here and I need you to listen. Will you?" his almost pleading voice was trembling as he spoke. If Tyki refused to forgive him and refused to hear him out, he had just thrown his entire future away.
The Noah nodded, giving Lavi a little relief. The red head sighed somewhat, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"I had to come to terms with everything going through my head piece by piece, and there was quite a bit up there, mind you, not to mention all the information that I received when Bookman's barriers broke and my mind was flooded with generations of information. It took some time to process everything and I finally could make sense of it all. That is, except one thing. I had to make a choice."
"And that was?" Tyki asked.
Lavi took a breath, knowing that his next words could possibly turn this conversation into a whole new battleground. "I had to decide between Bookman or Lavi."
Tyki took his hands out of his pockets and crossed them over his chest, one hand finding its way to his chin in contemplation. "Explain." His request came with a demanding look as his skin darkened. He was losing control, Lavi could see this, but the red head refused to give in; he had to explain things fully.
"If I chose to remain loyal to the Bookman Clan and keep that original oath, they would wipe my memory of my Lavi persona. It would be as if I never existed, at least, not in my mind."
"And if you chose differently?"
"I would be allowed to stay Lavi but lose everything I had worked years on learning."
Tyki frowned. Considering the fact that Lavi was still acting like he still knew everything from his past, the only logical thing he could come up with is that the red head had chosen the former option and was allowed only enough time to say goodbye. He smirked and his skin turned dark gray and the stigmata on his forehead darkened to where it was fully visible. Lavi's eye widened at the transformation and he realized something had caused Tyki to snap but he wasn't sure exactly what that was and why he had done so.
"Well played, Bookman. It seems that you have the cunning ability to turn a vicious predator like myself into a defeated pile of shit. To think that I put my heart into loving only you and allowing you what none other had ever gained before. Good job; you took the last thing keeping me human and stomped over it like it was nothing." His words were vicious as he spoke them and Lavi noted how they got closer since the Noah had closed the gap between them and was towering over him. Lavi wasn't dealing with Tyki anymore; he was dealing with Joido.
Tyki had misunderstood and let the Noah inside him free in order to protect himself and not let his vulnerability show. Lavi was stunned and it took him a moment to realize the Noah was heading for the door. He raced over to stop him, hoping he wouldn't phase away.
"Wait Tyki! You've misunderstood!" he exclaimed, latching onto the Noah's arm.
Two golden eyes flashed at him and he snarled. "Oh I have?" he questioned as he turned back to face the red head; the needles of the necklace starting to push their way past his skin. He didn't care; that pain was nothing compared to how his heart felt. "It seems perfectly clear to me that you chose to remain Bookman. Why else would you still know all of this? Why else would you come say your goodbye before losing yourself completely?"
Lavi furrowed his brow and hit Tyki upside the head. "Baka!" he chose to steal Kanda's line for a moment. "I said you misunderstood! Now will you let me finish before you jump to anymore conclusions?"
The Noah stood still, waiting to hear him out. He had decided that there wasn't much more Lavi could say, but he'd give him one last chance to explain why he had just torn his heart out.
"I decided on a third option. I decided to remain both Bookman and Lavi. I explained to the Clan's guardian that if they allowed me to remain as I am and to explore being a Bookman with a heart, it would only help the line further down the road. It's what you would call an evolution of sorts and I made them understand that."
Tyki remained unmoved.
"Don't you get it? I'm still me; they've allowed me to remain as I am regardless of being a Bookman. I mean, I had to give up becoming the next Bookman but I still retain my place as an apprentice and will inherit the old man's memories when the time comes. But until then, I still get to live this life as Lavi until my dying breath. I still get to stay with you, to love you until the end." Lavi clung to Tyki's sleeve, burying his head in the man's chest. "Please don't say I've destroyed your heart because that means I've destroyed mine, too."
Tyki listened carefully and let things settle in his mind. As he thought about it, he heard Lavi sniffling back tears. It was then he realized that Lavi was trembling.
He lifted Lavi's chin with his fingers. "Why are you trembling?" Tyki asked; the Noah had retreated back into his mind along with the grey skin and black stigmata.
Lavi choked back a sniffle as he looked up into Tyki's eyes. "Because I don't want you to go; I don't want you to hate me for yelling at you; and I don't want you to think I broke your heart!"
The Noah pressed his lips against the red head's before pulling him into a loving embrace. Lavi shivered and he continued to cling to the older man.
"I'm sorry Lavi. I let my anger gain control and I couldn't hold my thoughts back anymore; I didn't know what to do or what I had done to make you so unhappy," he explained. "But thank you for telling me, finally," he said while smiling down at his lover.
"I'm sorry, too," the red head apologized. "I never meant to hurt you either. I promise from now on that I will talk to you properly about things."
"I would hope so. I don't like it when we fight," Tyki frowned.
"Hehe, me either. I'd rather leave that to Yuu-chan and the Moyashi; suits them better, ne?" the red head teased.
"Indeed it does." Tyki continued holding Lavi, letting his fingers drift through the red locks cascading around Lavi's face. "Lavi?" he asked.
The red head looked up at him. "Hmm?"
The serious look in those golden eyes sent a shiver down Lavi's spine and he waited for the question about to come as he watched Tyki take a deep breath.
"Will you stay with me? Always?"
Lavi gave him a quizzical look. "Didn't I just say I would?"
Tyki chuckled at his naïve little Bookman. "That's not what I meant, Red." He cupped his face and kissed him with all the passion inside him. Lavi went weak in the knees and, if Tyki hadn't been holding him, he would have fallen onto the floor.
Lavi purred at the kiss, wanting nothing more than this. The world could end tomorrow and he would die in bliss because he had obtained something of his own; something he could call 'mine' and something that could never be taken away.
When Tyki pulled away, Lavi took a moment to clear his head. "So, that's what you meant?" the red head asked as two fingers slid over the Portuguese man's smiling lips.
Tyki chuckled. "Indeed."
Lavi smiled at his lover. "Well, I don't mind as long as you don't."
"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."
"Hehe, guess so, hmm?" Lavi said, twirling a few loose strands of Tyki's hair between his fingers. "You know, it probably isn't the time to ask this, but seeing as how we're being open and honest about things, would you mind telling me what's been bothering you lately?"
Tyki pushed the red head back and looked at him, wondering if he should really be honest or just push it aside as nothing. But when he saw the endearing red head look so defenseless, he couldn't lie. He had just listened to Lavi open himself up and be completely vulnerable about himself so why couldn't he do it? He took a deep breath and smiled.
"As long as you don't think any less of me when I'm done talking."
"Why would I do that?"
"I wonder," Tyki said with a smirk.
Lavi wrinkled his nose and halfheartedly punched Tyki in the chest. "Don't be like that!"
Tyki laughed. "I'm sorry; shall we sit?"
Lavi turned and headed for the couch, holding fast to Tyki's hand and pulling the Noah along. Sitting down as quickly as they could, Lavi readied himself to hear what his lover had to say.
"You know the reason I left the Clan, do you not?"
Lavi nodded.
"And you know that they just recently found out I am still alive."
Another nod.
"The other night, I had a visitor in my room after you passed out from our rather…intense workout."
Lavi blushed but kept listening.
"It was my brother, Cheryl. At first it seemed like he had come to challenge me but he quickly left after something happened."
"What happened? And why didn't I know about it?"
"You were fast asleep, Red. And as for what happened," Tyki trailed off. "You see, for the longest time, my Noah has existed for mere pleasure no matter what the cost or who had to be hurt. I've always had a hard time keeping my humanity and my Noah in balance. To put it simply, having the two exist simultaneously is the ultimate pleasure."
Lavi looked a bit confused but Tyki continued without explaining.
"That all changed when I met you, though. Just like with you, my life has taken a complete turn. At first, my Noah wanted to kill you for changing me and it took all I had not to unleash that power and break you. Over the past few months, I've struggled with trying to get the Noah to understand the difference between instinct and logic. And I believe I finally have it won over in that regard. However, it has gone from one extreme to the other."
"What do you mean?" Lavi asked.
"It seems that it's instinct to destroy and kill has been turned from its original target—Innocence—to those that would do you harm. Your safety is the only thing that matters now and whenever you are hurt or bothered by anything, the Noah within me rages uncontrollably and wants nothing more than to destroy what has made you unhappy. I guess you could call it a very overprotective personality trait."
"Yeah, I guess you could. But what does that have to do with Professor Kamelot?"
"Ah, see here's the thing. Since my Noah has this newfound way of dealing with things, it didn't take too lightly at having some unknown and unwelcomed man in my bedroom the other night with you lying there so helpless. It actually caused me to realize the change that had happened with my other self."
"What change?"
Tyki laughed. "The one where I want to have you completely to myself. I don't want another person to see you, touch you or hear you. It seems I'm a rather possessive guy."
"I knew that already," Lavi said as if the news weren't as shocking as Tyki had thought it would be. "But please continue."
Stunned, Tyki coughed and continued talking. "Cheryl only wanted to talk to me, nothing more. So I went out after I couldn't' sleep and found him. We talked for a while about why he was there and what he wanted from me."
"And?" Lavi questioned.
"It seems he's my babysitter for the Earl. He is to report about what I am doing as well as what the Order is doing. He shouldn't have told me anything, but he is my brother and wanted to give me a fair warning of sorts."
"I see," Lavi said contemplatively, looking off to nothing in particular before returning his gaze to Tyki. "What else happened, Tyki?"
Tyki sighed. "He went and made a comment about you. Apparently he and Road followed us to the Bookman's safe house the other day and saw us together. He inquired about you and then made some rather uncouth comments."
"What kind of comments?"
"The ones that caused my Noah to surface, Red. He alluded to wanting you; to taking you away from me. And let me say this now, it won't happen. I won't give you to anyone and I won't let you be taken away, understand?" Tyki gently pressed his hand against Lavi's cheek as a reassurance.
Lavi nodded as he touched the hand on his face. "That goes both ways, I hope you know that."
Tyki nodded. "In any case, my behavior has been such because of having to deal with my Noah. Neah knows what's going on and he has a way of subduing any of the Noah; it's his special gift and one that the Earl fears. He can sing just one simple lullaby and we are content, purring like kittens in their master's lap. That's what he was doing in the car earlier. You couldn't hear it because only we Noah can hear it. It's his special power and that's why we call him the Musician."
"So your bad behavior has been because of your internal struggle with your Noah and mine's been because I couldn't decide on being Bookman or Lavi," Lavi stated to which Tyki nodded. "Man, we are one fucked up in the head couple, ne?" he jested. Tyki laughed and pulled Lavi into his chest.
"That we are, Red. That we are," he confirmed as he leaned forward and kissed Lavi.
Lavi him slowly, tasting his lover as much as he could. He had long since gotten used to the taste of tobacco when he kissed Tyki and he still found it a bit endearing when he caught the faint flavor of the peppermint he always had after finishing a cigarette.
As he pulled back and opened his eye, he smiled happily at Tyki. His fingers entwined around a tuft of hair clinging to Tyki's cheek and he focused on that as he asked his next question.
"Would Neah being this Musician have anything to do with why the Earl killed him?" he asked.
"You want to ruin the mood with talk of the Earl?" Tyki asked, a bit surprised that Lavi would ask such a forward question at a time like this. Then again, he knew that Lavi was a Bookman and things like this happened fairly often.
"Not really; I was just curious."
Tyki pulled Lavi closer, somehow managing to position the younger man over his lap while his hands wrapped around his waist. "Neah had a very special relationship to the Earl and his power was kept from the rest of the Noah. I only know about it now because of what Neah has told me through telepathy; the memories of the time Neah was alive have been erased from the Noah collective and none of us aside from the Earl, Neah, and Road know exactly what happened. If you want to know more, you need to ask Neah directly."
Lavi sighed and let his body collapse on top of his lover. "Mmk," he half mumbled.
Tyki raised an eyebrow and looked down at his favorite red head quite quizzically.
"Tired?"
Lavi shook his head. "Horny," he mumbled.
"Then by all means, we should take care of that, hmm?" Tyki remarked, all too happy to help his lover out.