A/N: This chapter might make you desperately want to hug Ginny...or is it just me feeling that way? ;) :)
25: Gravely Courageous
Ginny had looked at many books that afternoon, but none had any obvious or simple solution to a suspected broken bone, or even to lessen the pain. She picked up one book called "Culpeper's Complete Herbal", and on opening it she could see that it was a muggle book, but essentially a muggle potion book. There were coloured pictures of plants and entries for all kinds of ailments. It was obviously old and on looking at the printer's pages she saw it was a second edition from the original of 1653.
Wondering if there was a simple poultice she could make, Ginny read on and came to the conclusion that every single remedy seemed to 'Promoteth the urine', and she soon decided it wasn't the book for her upon reading remedies to help 'Turnings of the brain' and to 'Expelleth the dead child.' Ginny put the book back onto the shelf she had found it on.
"Find anything of interest?" asked a familiar, cheerful voice.
Ginny turned round from the shelf to find Dumbledore standing in the doorway to the study.
"Sorry Professor," she said. "I must have lost track of time."
"As it happens I was able to get away a little earlier than I thought," said Dumbledore. "Now, shall we sit in a comfortable chair, and you can tell me all your news?"
Ginny followed the professor into the sitting room. They sat in armchairs opposite each other, with the redhead sitting forward with her hands clasped nervously.
"What has happened?" asked Dumbledore. "I know, and can see for myself that Hermione isn't with you, but please tell me what has happened since you left here."
Taking a breath to sort out her thoughts, Ginny told Dumbledore about their journey to London, then Halifax and finally the morning at Little Hangleton.
"Did you manage to get the Ring?" he asked.
"Yes and no," said Ginny, dropping her head to stare at the carpet. "We swapped the Ring, but Hermione has it. She also has the Time-Turner."
"Can you think of anything odd about the morning? Seeing someone you didn't expect or someone saying something to you?"
"No, sir," said Ginny. "We were very careful to make sure no one saw us walk off on the track and enter the woods. If someone had been around, even innocently, we would have crossed the road and gone to the churchyard until everything was clear again."
"How did you swap the Ring? I mean to say, how did you manage to get Morfin into a position to swap it?" asked an intrigued Dumbledore.
Ginny told him about their simple plan. "Then I punched him from behind, but I had to do it twice. I know it sounds terrible, but we couldn't think of any other way to do it...not without magic, anyway," she said cradling her injured hand, subconsciously.
Dumbledore's eyes had seen the subtle movement. "Dear me, Ginny, you've hurt your hand."
"Yes," she said. "His head was a lot harder than I thought it would be."
Dumbledore gave a soft chuckle, got up from his chair and went over to Ginny; he gently lifted the injured hand into his, drew his wand and hovered it over the injured area. "Hmm," he said. "You've cracked a bone, I'm afraid. It's not displaced, so although it's painful and I don't have anything here for that right now, it will heal fine by itself. I'll try to remember to get the elves to bring a potion you can rub onto the area for the pain."
"Thank you, sir," said Ginny. "But, I'm not worried about me. It's Hermione I'm worried about. What can I do? I thought about going back, then wondered what I'd be going back into. I just don't know what to do, sir. I can't leave her, aside from the fact she has the Ring and Time-Turner, she would never leave me. I have to find out what's happened to her."
"I agree that it would have been unwise to have gone straight back there, I also agree that we have to find her, for many, many reasons, but most importantly because she is Hermione," Dumbledore, sat back down in his chair. "We've established that as far as you can tell, no one suspected you or watched you. You didn't feel anything strange as you Disapparated?"
"No," Ginny replied. "Hermione nodded to me to leave, and she was going to Disapparate a fraction after me. So whatever happened must have happened the second I'd left. If there had been trouble beforehand, Hermione had told me to take the Ring and her bag with the Time-Turner. As I didn't see any trouble she still had them both."
"What time would you say this was, when you Disapparated? I don't need exact minutes, but roughly?"
"We left The Hanged Man around 9.30am, but we didn't rush to walk to the shack. By the time we had done everything it might have been getting near 11am."
"That's very interesting," said Dumbledore, tapping a finger on the arm of his chair. "It explains something."
"It does?" Ginny asked, hoping he would divulge his thoughts.
"There is another reason I couldn't come here as soon as I would have liked. It wasn't just my taking classes, because there are always teachers to cover classes. I couldn't leave because I was being suspected."
"By other teachers?"
"No, by Tom Riddle," Dumbledore tapped his finger on the arm of his chair a couple more times. "I was told by one of my colleagues that halfway through his Potions lesson before lunch, his star pupil suddenly claimed to be feeling unwell and left the class for the bathroom. It's odd because, Tom Riddle would never leave a lesson taken by Professor Slughorn, he wouldn't ever want to risk his great friendship...or to put it more correctly, the way he has Horace around his little finger. Besides Tom has rarely ever been ill."
"Are you saying Riddle sensed something and he's got Hermione?" Ginny asked, the worry increasing.
"No, not exactly," said Dumbledore. "According to several people, Tom didn't leave the school and didn't go to the bathroom either. He went to the Slytherin Common Room and then stayed on his bed until lunch."
"So perhaps he was feeling unwell?"
"I doubt it," said Dumbledore. "Otherwise he wouldn't have been spying on me for the rest of the day."
"He was watching you?"
"He's been suspicious about me for a long while. I think from the moment he started Hogwarts, he knew that I could see what he would be, or what I feared he would become, and that I'd always be watching him closely," said Dumbledore. "However, today was slightly different. Do you remember a warning I gave you about using magic anywhere near Little Hangleton?"
"Yes," said Ginny immediately. "Which is why I punched Gaunt with my fist and not something magical. We were only going to use magic to Disapparate once we'd got the Ring, as we would be long gone."
"From what you have told me, and from the information I have myself, I suspect something happened just after you Disapparated," Professor Dumbledore said. "Something was set off, like the possible warding we mentioned. It obviously became apparent to Tom Riddle, although he himself couldn't or wouldn't leave to find an answer for the alarm. That's why he was keeping an eye on me, thinking I was the one who had gone to Little Hangleton. I think he fears that I'll talk to Gaunt, move him or perhaps even kill him. Anyway I'm sure with the events of today I've confused and troubled him greatly."
"Then...then, I'm the one to blame for this?" Ginny said, feeling awful. "If I'd just let Hermione Side-Along Apparate me, none of this would have happened." She put her head in her hands.
"We don't know that for sure," said Dumbledore in a kind, soft voice. "You are not to blame for anything. It's possible something could have happened had you Side-Along Apparated and then there would be no one to know or help."
"So what do we do?" Ginny asked. "Where do we start?"
"For the moment you are to stay here," said Dumbledore and continued on when Ginny was about to protest. "I need to do a little bit of investigating, and see what I can discover first."
"I can't just sit here waiting?"
"You can, and you will," said Dumbledore sternly. "Do not think you are being left, or not being trusted; far from it. When and if I get the information I need, it will be you that will likely have to carry out any plan we can devise from it. I can not touch many elements of your being here, as I said when we first met; I can only really watch and advise. But first I must see what I can learn, and then we can work on what needs to be done and where."
Ginny inclined her head, but she hated not knowing and having to wait for Dumbledore to get back to her with details. Every fibre of her wanted to get out there herself and begin hunting for information. Every hour was an extra hour of Hermione maybe being hurt, or being taken further away or being closer to death.
"I know it's hard," said Dumbledore. "I understand how much you want to get Hermione back and the Time-Turner as well. But we have to be cautious and calm or we will gain nothing."
Despite the comfort of having Dumbledore to talk to and having him help, Ginny still felt despair, she nodded her agreement though.
"It may take me some time to gain any helpful information," said Dumbledore. "I think tonight is a good time for me to make a start. I hope I will be able to get back tomorrow to give you some news. I have to be careful again, however, so please try not to worry that I can not be here until tomorrow evening."
Ginny's heart was racing again. Another whole day? she thought. How am I going to cope with all that waiting?
Dumbledore had seen the fleeting expression of fear and panic cross the red-haired girl's face. "You're a strong, courageous, resourceful and resilient young woman," he told her. "I don't just say that to make you feel better, although if it does, all well and good," he smiled. "You will be just fine here. I'm sure you will find something to occupy your mind with until we can talk again. For now, sit tight, try to be patient; more than just your hand could do with the rest, I don't doubt."
Professor Dumbledore stood up, and got ready to leave again. Ginny also stood up and followed him through to the kitchen. He turned and rested a hand on her shoulder, conveying an unspoken sentence of support and encouragement to her. "Until tomorrow," he said as he walked out of the kitchen to Disapparate back to Hogwarts.
As she heard the back door close, Ginny suddenly felt very lonely and panic once again came close to the surface, gripping her stomach, lungs and throat. She sat down on a chair in the kitchen, closed her eyes and took several deep calming breaths; resting her head on her arms, she almost felt close to dozing off, which was very odd.
After a while, not aware of the exact time she had sat there, gaining control of her nerves and fears once more, her stomach gave a slight growling noise. It was well into the early evening now, and thinking it would help to occupy some time, Ginny went to the pantry and thought about making a sandwich.
To Ginny's amazement the elves had already been and gone. Just how long was I sitting there like a lump? she thought. Part of her was sad that she hadn't caught sight of the elves, but they were never ones to want to be very visible.
Along with some fresh bread, a lovely looking jam and cream sponge and some fresh sausage rolls, there was also a bottle of potion. Picking it up, Ginny could see the small Hogwarts crest on the label, and knew it must have come from the Hospital Wing. Dumbledore must have seen to it as soon as he got back. She had to smile, thinking on what Harry had told them about Dumbledore being able to Apparate and Disapparate at Hogwarts, when to everyone else's knowledge and ability it was impossible to do so.
Even though Ginny's stomach had signalled it was time to restock she didn't have a great appetite. She settled for a sausage roll, and a small slice of the sponge. To use up some more time she washed up the few items she had used the muggle way.
Ginny picked up the potion bottle again and thought it would probably be best if she used it before she went to bed.
It was not really late enough for bedtime yet, but Ginny went upstairs and to the bedroom Hermione and herself had used before. It made her feel very lonely and isolated again, and her worry for her friend increased briefly, until she shook her head and knew there was nothing she could do yet, and besides, who better to have on the case than Dumbledore.
After a few almost blank moments, Ginny decided to have a bath. It would use up some time and she felt grubby...she could almost still smell the stink of the old man Gaunt.
As she unbuttoned her shirt and undid the fly on her trousers it came to her again that she didn't have any other clothes. Bugger! she thought, Hermione had all the clothes! She didn't like to look in the drawers or wardrobe in the room without having asked, but she wondered if she could find something suitable to sleep in. She could do a cleaning spell on it before she put the clothing back tomorrow.
Searching through the chest of drawers in the room, she found a long striped shirt, it was possibly an actual old sleeping shirt. It was fairly soft, so she decided to use it, and apologize to Dumbledore when she next saw him.
Lowering herself into the bath, being careful not to use too much pressure on her injured hand, she sighed as she settled into the water. Part of her felt guilty, to be enjoying this bath when her friend was missing, and going through who knew what. But she had to smile when she looked at the various coloured bubblebath bottles lined up and saw the red one missing. Her smile soon dropped again though. I'm going to find you, Hermione, she thought determined. I promise.
It was a relief to be able to use magic again, and Ginny did so to dry herself off. She put on the over-sized striped shirt, which smelled slightly of lavender and made her way back to the bedroom. Before folding her uniform clothes, she performed a quick cleaning spell on them and although they hadn't been filthy, it made them look fresher again.
Getting into the big fourposter bed, she picked up the potion bottle from where she had placed it on the small bedside cabinet. Ginny opened the bottle and took a sniff; it didn't smell too bad, so she tipped the bottle up and got some onto her index and middle finger of her left hand, then rubbed the potion onto the swollen and painful area on her right hand. It didn't sting as she expected, but tingled; it felt like lots of little butterflies were landing on her hand and fluttering their wings. In minutes the pain had lessened. She decided she would use the potion again in the morning.
Using her wand, Ginny dimmed the two lamps in the room, definitely not ready to sleep in the complete dark and certainly not while she was alone. Then, placing her wand under her pillow she resignedly laid down her tired, stressed and busy head. The feeling of being lonely had been present since the moment she had realized that Hermione wasn't going to arrive back at the house, and it felt so much worse knowing she wasn't next to her in the bed.
Ginny didn't care how pathetic or desperate it would sound or seem to others, but she sat back up and bunched up the free pillows next to her and wrapped them into the bedcovers, lying right up against them. It nearly felt like someone else was in the bed with her, and that would have to do. She curled up, almost hugging herself and as much as she thought her mind would probably not let her sleep, she soon drifted off.
Naturally, she would have hoped for a dreamless sleep, but somehow Ginny knew she wouldn't avoid having a dream. She became aware that she was entering a dream and could almost feel herself tense up and prepare for whatever was to come...zzzzzzz
It appeared that Ginny was sitting at the kitchen table at the Burrow. Please, no weddings and no horny Harry this time, she thought. Her mother walked in from outside carrying some flowers she had cut from the garden, which she had arranged into a couple of bouquet-like bunches.
"Are you ready?" Mrs. Weasley asked her daughter.
"Ready?" Ginny asked. Oh god, not another wedding, and a blasted bouquet, she thought as she dreamed.
"We're supposed to be going to the church together, and you were going off to get ready?"
Bollocks! It is another wedding! thought an annoyed Ginny. She looked down at her dream-self and saw she was wearing a long rust coloured skirt and a navy shirt. "I'm all right like this aren't I?" she asked her mother, hopefully, but waiting for the yelling response.
Mrs. Weasley looked over her daughter, then rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, it's fine."
Maybe I'm not the one getting married after all, thought Ginny. "So who's getting married, Mum?"
"Married? When?"
"Today," Ginny said, noticing confusion on her mother's face.
"I don't know, is someone supposed to be getting married today?"
"I thought that's why we were going to the church?"
"Are you trying to be funny?" Mrs. Weasley asked, her eyes narrowing.
"I just don't know where we're going or why?" Ginny inquired.
Her mother gave her another stern look. "You know perfectly well where we're going. I know it's hard, dear. It's hard for all of us, but these little visits help us to accept things."
It dawned on Ginny where they were going then. "We're going to the churchyard?"
"Stop being silly, dear. You know that's where we're going, now come along."
Her mother walked outside through the door again and Ginny got up and followed her. Mrs. Weasley got hold of her hand and the scene blurred, so as she was dreaming it, Ginny assumed she had been Side-Along Apparated.
Looking around she saw that they were in a churchyard, although she didn't recognize it as being anywhere that familiar. Her mother had walked ahead of her and was several rows of gravestones away now. Ginny looked to where she was headed and saw her father, Percy, Charlie, George, Bill, Fleur, and Ron standing in the row her mother was walking to. George looked up, spotted Ginny and waved to her.
Oh no, thought the dreaming Ginny, it's Fred's grave...no not that, not now. As she dreamed she tried hard to walk in the opposite direction or to get her dream to blur and become something else, but it didn't work and her dream-self walked towards her family. George hugged her, as did her other brothers, Fleur and her father. All of them, even her father, looked a little red around the eyes and upset.
Ginny watched numbly as her mother placed a bunch of flowers onto a grave, and patted the gravestone.
"There we are, Fred," Molly Weasley said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "We're all here to say hello. Wherever you are, you better be keeping out of trouble. We miss you as much today as we have every day...s...s...since you've been gone."
George gave a little sniff, and Fleur tried to be strong and smile, but held on tight to Bill as her own tears fell. Each of Ginny's brothers all said a few words to Fred. Ginny couldn't utter so much as a 'hello'.
After they had said their greetings, Mrs. Weasley gave Fred's gravestone another little pat and then crouched at the one next to it. "Hello," she said, "I never knew if you even liked flowers, or what colours, I hope you don't think it's too girlie. But we always bring you some, there's some Gryffindor red in there. We all still think of you as our family and always will. We miss you very, very much, Harry."
Harry? thought Ginny as she dreamed, No, not his grave, please not his grave. It's bad enough I have to go to Fred's, not his as well! As her mother stood up again from the grave, Ginny could see past her to the gravestone's lettering. 'In loving memory of a courageous, magnificent young man. Harry James Potter...' Ginny willed her dream-self not to read anymore and to look away. She knew Harry was dead, but she didn't want to have it shoved in her face so blatantly; in some ways it was as bad as seeing him in his decomposed state in previous dreams. Fortunately her dream-self did look away and made to turn, tears burning unshed, in her eyes.
As others said a few words to Harry's grave, Bill held her arm. "It's hard isn't it, sis?"
"I just want to go," Ginny said, trying to walk further away.
"Be strong, Ginny," said Bill, holding her back. "She was, so be strong for her too now."
"You mean Mum?"
"No, you know who I mean," said Bill quietly. "I've said it before, but I still think you would feel better if you said something to her, find some peace for yourself. She would want you to."
"I don't understand," Ginny said bewildered. "Who are we talking about?"
Bill pointed to where their mother was now crouched, at a grave next to Harry's, patting the stone and talking to it. As her mother moved again, Ginny saw the lettering on the stone. 'In loving memory of a courageous and beautiful young woman. Hermione Jean...'
"NO!" Ginny shouted. "NOOOOOOO! It's not true!"
"Ginny, don't," said Bill, hugging her. "I know it's hard, but she's gone. We all miss her and we have to accept it, but you just don't seem to be able to. It's been a while now. Even Ron has moved to a point of acceptance," he pulled back and nodded to a solemn Ron, who was hugging his mother, red-eyed but with a lot of composure.
"Yes, but it wasn't his fault. She died because of me. ME!" she cried, hugging her brother back and sobbing into his shoulder.
Fleur placed a hand on her back. "Ginny, it wasn't your fault. We know that, and she knows that. Stop blaming yourself," the Frenchwoman said softly. "It's not good for you to carry that blame around with you. You have to let yourself accept and begin to heal again."
Standing back from Bill, Ron came over and took Ginny's hand and walked with her away from the rest of the family.
"You have to let it go, Gin," said Ron sadly. "It will eat you up in the end."
"I don't care if it does," she said gloomily.
"None of us blames you, and Hermione certainly wouldn't, and me personally, well," Ron sighed, sadly. "I have to thank you."
"Thank me? What the hell for?"
"You did what I couldn't," Ron said evenly. "I could never keep her safe or do what needed to be done for the greater good, and in this new world she would have been hunted down and tortured. That's no kind of life. Letting her die, was the best thing you could have done."
"WHAT?" Ginny shouted. "I...I...LET her die?"
As Ginny dreamed, and heard what Ron said, her chest constricted, both in the dream and in her sleep; in shock and distress.
"Let's not go over it again," Ron said. "We know what happened. None of us would be here if it wasn't for you and Hermione. The Dark Lord would have killed us all, but you made a difference, so at least some of us got to live."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Just try to forgive yourself, Ginny," Ron said, letting go of her hand and starting to walk away. "Forgive yourself and start to live again."
"No no NOOOOOO!" she shouted at her brother...zzzzzzz
Ginny woke up startled and with a sore, hoarse throat; she realized she had been shouting out in her sleep. Her chest ached and her heart was racing. She had been crying too and remembering the dream so vividly, seeing those three gravestones and the shock of seeing Hermione's stone made her sob uncontrollably now she was awake.
Please say it isn't true...it can't be, no no no, she thought. I won't leave you, Hermione. I'll find you. Please don't be dead.
A/N: "Culpeper's Complete Herbal" is a real book. I own a very old copy of it with handpainted colour pictures(plates), and it's extremely interesting and at times funny. It's scary to think people did actually try out its various rememdies for a wealth of illnesses in past centuries. Nearly every preparation has the side effect of "Promoteth the urine", mainly due to the fact nearly every remedy required lots of wine! Anyone with an interest in medicine or botany in history would find it interesting. I believe you can buy modern printed copies(still using the original old language) from places like Amazon.