Caspian

Do not underestimate yourself, Coriakin had said.

I had mixed feelings about what he said. On one hand, it could be an insult, calling me insecure; on the other hand, it could be a compliment, telling me I'm better than I think.

I suppose I am insecure, one of my worst fears being my father's disappointment. I still feel like me becoming king was me being born to the right person at the right time. I also strongly believed I wasn't good enough for Susan, or was I? At that time, the door opened; it was Susan.

"You keep thinking about what Coriakin said, don't you? Well, I'd love to be a good person and tell you not to worry about it, but the truth is, I'm thinking about it, too." She said as she closed the door and lay down on the bed beside me. "You never told me you were insecure. Explain and I'll explain about me, and no lies."

"Fine; the truth is I'm always thinking I only got the throne by luck. I just happened to have the best professor and the worst father. I simply blew a horn and you all came and basically fought for me, yet letting me take the credit."

"Caspian, not everyone can be kind, good, and brave, whilst growing up an orphaned Telemarine prince. Also, no matter what one is taught during their life, they will always make their own choices, it was you who chose to fight your own family for what was right. No one forced you to spare your uncle, no one forced you to fight at the front line of the war, and do you really think Aslan would have chosen you to be King if he hadn't known for sure you were great? Everyone makes mistakes; Edmund betrayed us, Peter kept getting into fights back in England, Lucy trusted too much for her own good, and I was the very last to truly fall in love with Narnia. Those are only examples, there's many more." Her words made me fill with warmth and pride, but there was something she'd confirmed and it was that I was definitely not good enough for her.

"Alright, now tell me about you."

"I'm angry at Aslan." Those words surprised me an incredible lot. "It was him that brought us all to Narnia. He didn't even care about us, the many times I secretly cried at night the first time we left. I always would beg him for a sign that would show me it wasn't all a dream. Nothing changed. I beat myself to get used to the fact that we were in Finchley and to know that if we were ever in Narnia again, it wouldn't last. The second time we came, I tried not to enjoy myself because that would only make leaving so much harder. You made that much more difficult. I would think you'd know of the pain I felt as we were leaving. I cried every day. I hardly ate or drank. All that time, I begged and prayed to Aslan to send me back, not so much as a tiny sign was given to me in return. Instead, every time I tried to complain, everyone would tell me to be thankful to Aslan and to have faith. I tried hard, I really did." At this point she'd started crying. "There's only so much pain I can take!" Now she started sobbing. After she managed to collect herself she added: "I been in wars and seen death and have always tried to take care of Peter, Edmund, and Lucy! And everyone gave the credit of all of that to Him!" Now she started sobbing again but this time she didn't stop. I held her close and she held on tight. Finally, we fell asleep and either no one had seen us, or they'd decided not to disrupt.

I was awoken by Susan, who told me she was going to go change and that I should meet her on deck. I got changed too, then went to the deck as she'd instructed. It was still dark, but the Sun would be out soon.

"Follow me." She whispered when she got up. The only one on deck was Drinian, who was acting like he hadn't seen us, but when Susan looked away, he turned and winked at me.

Susan led me to the top of the back of the ship. We sat down on a small bench designed for sailors and looked at the sea.

"When I awake early, I always come up here to see the sunrise. It is the most beautiful event of the day." She said as she laid her head on my shoulder as we watched the sky turn rosy and the magnificent Sun go up. I smiled at its beauty, for it really was the prettiest event of the day.

We got up when the Sun was higher and as we turned to leave, I noticed a small patch of land on the horizon.

"Look, My Queen. There's land!" We went to tell Drinian about it so he could get the rest up.

An hour later, I decided to send a landing party. We explored for hours. I started getting angry because Eustace and Devon were always complaining. Sadly, we had also discovered the land was unprosperous. I decided to go back to the ship to tell everyone when:

"Caspian look!" Lucy exclaimed, pointing towards the ground.

"It's like a burn mark." Peter observed.

"Oh, no!" Susan said, her eyes wide. Her expression worried me a bit.

"What's wrong, Su?" Edmund asked her, looking worried, too.

"Don't you see? The soil is hard, it has burn marks, there's tall mountains and caves that could easily conceal our ship, there's no animals, and all the rivers are dry!"

"But, what does that mean?" Devon asked.

"There's a Dragon here for Aslan's sake!" She snapped. How did I not figure it out before?!

"We need to get back, now!" Lucy said.

"Uh oh, where's that little annoying cousin of yours?" Selene asked.

"He's missing! We need to find him. Edmund, come with me. Peter, take Devon to the ship. Selene and Susan, go south with Pirate Boy and Lucy. We'll go west." I said. Soon, Edmund and I found a gigantic treasure. We knew this was the cursed dragon's treasure, our theory was supported by a giant set of bones. We also decided to look to see if any Lord was here. We actually did find a sword. That would make three!

"Oh, no! My poor cousin! He was too young!" Edmund cried over what I saw were ragged clothing and a diary. We were going back to the ship to report our sad findings when Edmund yelled:

"Caspian, look out!" I ducked just in time, but a huge dragon took Edmund! I decided it'd be wiser to get help before I tried to rescue Edmund. I got to the ship, but a second later, so did Edmund and the dragon. Edmund then explained that it was actually Eustace.

Drinian and I had a long argument that night about where to put Eustace. We decided to figure it out in the morning. Just before bed, Lucy saw the Blue Star. That night I also saw Aslan's face in the stars, s blessing to us. The next day, we decided that Eustace should fly along with us. He turned out to be quite useful in a way. He would carry us when there was no wind, and honestly he was a better dragon than a boy.

That day, I was strangely filled with hope, as seemed to be the rest. I believed it to be the Blessing of Aslan. I spent the day with little arguments, following the Blue Star, and talking with the people I considered my family: Susan, Peter, Lucy, Edmund, Selene, Pirate Boy, Ariane, Brian, and even little Gael.

It was not a big surprise when that night I had the best dream I'd had in my life.