"Oh, my God, you're awake."
Atrin made her way to Spencer's side, not bothering to look at the others. He gave her a weak smile; she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and grasped his hand gently in hers. She blinked back tears, and her heart squeezed tightly in her chest. Feelings overwhelmed her - relief, happiness... Love.
"How are you feeling? God, you had us all so scared. Do you need anything?"
"You came."
She smiled. "Of course I did. I... I had to. I was too worried and-and frightened of what might happen, to wait for a phone call."
His lips curved upwards as his eyes slipped closed Atrin sat in the chair beside his bed, watching as he slept. His team began talking to one another, except for Garcia; she stood next to Atrin and gazed at Spencer. There was nothing hiding the relief in everybody's eyes. Atrin continued holding Spencer's hand, afraid to let go.
JJ's phone rang suddenly, the sound cutting through the low conversations. The room fell silent, and she grimaced when she read the screen.
"I'll be back. Hello?"
Atrin stared around at the people gathered in the room. She could see the exhaustion on their faces clear as day. They all looked like they hadn't slept in days - even weeks. She hoped that the call hadn't been a case, though judging by JJ's expression when the phone had rang, Atrin could've bet it was. She signed and glanced up at Penelope. Before anybody could say anything, JJ and Hotch entered the room. Both wore sombre frowns; no doubt remained in Atrin's mind as to what the call was about. Hotch confirmed it within seconds.
"That was Strauss. Four bodies just turned up in Indiana, and the coroner determined they were all killed in the last twenty-four hours. We've got to go. Jet's meeting us here soon."
"Ind-Indiana?"
Hotch looked over at Atrin. "Is something wrong?"
"My, uh, my parents live there."
"I'll keep you in the loop," whispered Penelope, and Atrin sent her a grateful smile.
"Let's go."
Hugs were exchanged between Atrin and the others, minus Hotch. They exited the room after making her promise to call if there was any change in Spencer's condition. She sighed and leaned back in her chair. Though nobody had really talked to her, she hadn't felt alone while the room was full. Now that they were gone, all she had was her mind to keep her company. A knock on the door made her turn around in her seat.
"Mrs Reid? We've got the recliner for you."
"Oh. Thank you."
The nurse slid the chair into the room, placing it beside Spencer's bed. "Is there anything else I can get for you?"
"Um, no, thanks."
"Hey, I've seen his chart. Doctor Louke says he'll make a full recovery." The nurse put her hand on Atrin's shoulder. "He's a fighter."
Atrin nodded. "Thank you."
"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to let me know."
"Alright, thanks."
The nurse nodded and walked away. Atrin grabbed her cell phone from the plastic chair in which she'd originally been sitting, opening the Solitaire app to pass the time until Spencer woke up games later, she was no closer to being able to sleep. The nap she'd taken shortly after arriving was taking its toll on her. She glanced at the clock on the wall before double-checking the time on her phone: 11:20pm. Atrin decided to text Penelope.
I can't sleep.
I'm sorry. We're almost to Indiana, aka about an hour away from landing. I'll text you back as soon as possible.
Atrin groaned. She'd forgotten exactly why the team had left. She grabbed the blanket the nurse had left, pushed the back of the recliner down to stretch out, and spread the blanket over her She gazed at Spencer sleeping so contentedly - even if it was the medication being pumped through his body. Nothing in the entire world could have or ever would make her as happy as seeing him awake. Her fear that he wouldn't make it through this had really put things into perspective. She'd known for a while that her feelings were getting stronger, but she had spent so long denying their depth, forcing them back...thinking she couldn't already be in love, that love didn't work that way. Her parents had always told her to take her time when it came to giving her heart away But this... This she hadn't expected. Spencer had somehow made her fall in love with him, even though she'd fought admitting it the entire way. Now, she'd confessed it (even if he'd been asleep during the admission, it still counted), and she couldn't be happier. With that thought, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
.:.:.:.:.:.:.
Spencer stared at Spencer, as her chest rose and fell rhythmically. He didn't know what time it was, but he was sure he could sleep more. Seeing her still in the room made his heart beat just a little bit faster in his chest. He had never once considered the idea of loving someone so much, so easily. Atrin had entered his life like an unexpected atomic bomb, destroying the existence he'd crafted with such precision he was absolutely certain he'd never be able to go back to how it was before.
As if his thoughts had travelled from his brain to hers, Atrin stirred in the recliner and opened her eyes. Their gazes met, and she sat up quickly.
"Hey, honey. How are you feeling?"
"I could be better." He coughed slightly. "I'm glad you're here."
"So am I. Do you need anything?"
"My throat is killing me. Do you think you could get me something."
"Of course. I'll be right back."
She pressed her lips to his cheek softly before running a hand over his hair, and exiting the room. He glanced up at the clock - five-thirty. It had been over a day since he'd been shot, almost thirty hours. It felt like longer, though he'd been unconscious for most of it. He was restless from lying in the same position for so long, but even moving his arms hurt like Hell regardless of the pain medication the IVs were supplying his body. He wasn't going to ask for more, though. The pain let him know he'd made it through the worst thing that had happened to him in a long while, and he refused to become addicted to anything else in his life.
He was pulled from his thoughts by Atrin entering the room, a Styrofoam cup in her hand. He gave her a smile as his heart swelled with everything he felt for her.
"Hey. All they'd let you have is ice chips. Something about how you can't eat real food yet, or it'll overload your stomach or whatever. Smart in theory, but... It still sucks."
"I'm not hungry anyway."
"Open," she ordered softly, bringing a spoonful of ice chips to his mouth, giggling when he rolled his eyes. "Hey, hey, hey. None of that, mister. I'm your wife. It's my job to take care of you."
He was so surprised by her words, he didn't even protest when he repeated her command; he automatically did as directed without thought. She didn't seem to notice his distraction as she fed him spoons of the small ice chunks, which, once he thought about it, were actually helping to cool the fire in his throat. Unfortunately, the cup was emptied faster than he wanted, but he didn't complain. He was still caught up on what she'd said. Her stomach growled then, causing her to frown.
"Why don't you go get something to eat? I'll be fine until you get back."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, yeah. Just because I can't eat yet, doesn't mean you don't need to."
She smiled. "Alright. I'll be back in a few."
The words he wanted to say so badly got stuck on their journey from his brain to his mouth. She'd already disappeared down the hall by the time he managed to get them out:
"I love you, too."
.:.:.:.:.:.:.
Atrin pressed her hand to her forehead as she sat at a small table with a plate of waffles and a cup of coffee in front of her. Why did she say that? Sure, they were married, but did he really consider her his wife? She sighed and started cutting her waffles into bite-sized squares.
"Um, excuse me, but, uh, can I sit here?"
She looked up at the newcomer. "Of course."
"Thanks." The young man sat down in the chair opposite Atrin. "Sorry, I wouldn't normally ask, but... I don't think I could stand to be alone right now."
"It's okay."
"I'm Desmond."
"Atrin."
"That's an original name."
"Yeah. I've had it for twenty-six years, so I like it."
"So what brings you to the hospital on this dreary day?"
"Um, my husband got shot."
"Oh, wow. That has to suck. Is he going to be okay?"
"Yeah, thankfully. What about you?"
"Uh, my mom had a really bad heart attack this morning, which resulted in unexpected surgery."
"Oh, no. Is she going to make it?"
"Not sure yet. Won't know for a while, I guess."
"I'm sorry."
The pair ate in silence for a few moments. Atrin's mind was still on the man lying in the hospital bed. She was still in shock that she'd said what she did. Desmond cleared his throat once his plate was clean.
"Um, thanks for the company, but I'd better get back to my mom."
"Of course. I hope everything turns out well."
"Thanks. Same for you and your husband."
She watched the man exit the cafeteria then finished her breakfast. Once done, Atrin dropped her plate and fork into the large dish bin, placed the tray on the rack, and made her way back to Spencer's room He was staring blankly at the television set mounted on the wall; she glanced at the screen to see what had captured his attention - the news. A reporter was standing outside a police station, speaking silently into her microphone. Shootout at Local Police Station Kills 2, Injures 5 blared from its position at the bottom of the screen. She looked back at Spencer to see a tear sliding down his cheek.
"Hey, hey. What's wrong?"
He closed his eyes. "Nothing. I'm fine."
"Please don't lie to me." She turned the TV off. "Spencer, what happened?"
"It's my fault. Nobody in that station would have been shot if I'd figured everything out sooner."
"Look at me," she ordered, grasping his hand tightly in hers; he kept his eyes shut. "Spencer, please look at me."
"What?" he whispered roughly, the look of unadulterated guilt in his eyes breaking her heart.
"Honey, please don't blame yourself for what happened. Nobody could have anticipated the unsub doing what he did. It wasn't your fault."
"You weren't there."
"No, but Derek told me what happened. Nobody was prepared for what happened. It was a complete and total surprise, as unpleasant as it was. Stop blaming yourself, please."
"Everything was right there I just.. I couldn't find the connection."
"Spencer, stop. It isn't your fault."
"But it is. Don't you see? If I'd found the connection sooner, especially with every piece of the puzzle right in front of my eyes, those officers would still be alive."
"I understand what you're saying, but listen. Derek told me the unsub only found out he'd been caught because of somebody you guys interviewed, that they'd told someone else why the FBI had questioned them, and that person had told the psycho. It had nothing to do with you."
"I want to believe you."
"I want you to, too. But only you can do that. I can't force you to. Just trust me on this, okay?"
He hesitated but nodded. She squeezed his hand with hers, kissing his cheek. They stayed quiet for a couple minutes. He shifted in the bed; her eyes didn't miss the wince that crossed his face.
"You okay? Do you need some more painkillers?"
"No."
She jerked back in her seat at the vehemence in his voice. "Okay."
"Sorry. I just... I avoid pain medication if I can help it."
"That's fine."
"I didn't mean to snap. You didn't know."
"It's okay."
"No, it isn't." His eyes were full of frustration as he stared at the ceiling. "I didn't tell you. I wasn't going to, but... It's only right if you know. A couple years ago, I, uh... I was held hostage by a man who had three personalities - himself, his dad, and an archangel. Well, when he was himself, he was alright, a decent person - minus the split-personality thing. When he was his father he'd torture me. The archangel made me choose and watch innocent people being murdered in front of me, all because they were 'sinners.' He gave me, um, Dilaudid - Tobias, himself - to ease the pain his father inflicted. I became addicted to it. It took a lot to overcome that addiction, and I stay away from anything stronger than ibuprofen if I have the choice."
Her heart was in her throat, and tears threatened to fall by the time he finished recounting what had happened to him. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
"I really feel bad for snapping at you like that."
"Don't. Just forget about it."
"That probably won't happen, but I'll try." He paused. "Speaking of work, what about your job?"
"Well, right now, almost everything is done for the current two weddings except for the actual ceremonies, so I've got a little bit of time before I'm needed."
"And after that?"
"We'll worry about that when and if we need to. Right now, let's just focus on getting you better, sweetie."
He gave her a gentle smile. "So how was breakfast?"
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
What room?
Atrin shot a quick look at a sleeping Spencer before replying to Mistie's text with the correct answer. It wasn't long before a soft knock sounded on the door She turned in her chair as her best friend entered the room with a duffel bag and backpack in her hands. Atrin stood to relieve Mistie of her burden.
"Hey, doll. It's great to see you."
Mistie smiled. "You, too. How's he doing?"
"He's... He's doing well. Doctor Louke came by earlier to check his vitals and progress or whatever, said he was out of the woods for the most part, barring any surprise infections or anything like that. He should be able to move into a different room, out of the ICU, by tomorrow night."
"That's great. So, I brought what you asked for - clean clothes, probably about four outfits, and your planners."
"Thank you. I truly appreciate it."
"What are best friends for? Wanna get some coffee?"
"I think the cafeteria's closed."
"So? There's a 24-hour McDonald's literally right down the block."
"Fine. Let me leave Spencer a note so he doesn't worry if he wakes up while we're gone."
"Alright. Then you can tell me all about why you didn't call me sooner."
.:.:.:.:.:.:.
Spencer's eyes fluttered open; it took a moment for the room to come into focus. When everything became clear, he noticed Atrin was gone. In her place was a folded piece of paper with Spencer written on the outside. A groan escaped him as he stretched to reach the note. His breathing was ragged once he laid on his back again. A couple of minutes passed before the wave of nausea that accompanied the pain subsided. He took a deep breath and opened the letter, reading it quickly.
Spencer - Mistie came by to drop off some of my stuff. We're going to get coffee right now, but I'll be back as soon as I can. If you need me sooner, call me (I left your cell phone by your pillow), and I'll be back immediately.
Miss you already.
XO, Atrin.
He smiled and reread the words written on the heavy crème-coloured paper; if he had to guess, it wa a sample sheet for wedding invitations. Miss you already... When had she left? He searched for his phone and, once found, typed out a new text message.
I got your text. Thank you for it. I miss you, too.
Her response came within the minute: I didn't expect you to wake up so soon. Mistie and I are almost done. Do you need me back sooner?
No, visit with Mistie. Don't rush. I'll be fine. Promise.
If you're sure... We'll be heading back soon, though. As soon as she's done stuffing her face. Promise.
He set down the phone with a smile and closed his eyes. All he could see in his mind were images of Atrin - the first time he met her after their Vegas trip; every time her eyes lit up and she smiled during their time together; the expression on her face when she saw him after he woke up from the surgery; the scrutinising look she gave him if she thought he was in pain... He couldn't pinpoint exactly when along the way it was that he fell in love with her. All he knew was she'd somehow become the centre of his world. He just wished he knew how to tell her.
He sighed and turned on the television. Hopefully, reruns of Friends would help pass the time until Atrin returned. She did, in the middle of the episode, followed by Mistie. His wife smiled at him.
"Hey, honey. I was hoping you wouldn't wake up before I got back. If I'd known, I wouldn't have left."
"It's alright. Your note helped me to not, you know, panic."
"Good." Atrin glanced at Mistie. "Cmon, sit down."
"I've gotta go soon. I have to be get back home by tomorrow night."
"Why don't you sleep here then drive back in the morning?"
The happiness on Atrins face at his suggestion made him laugh softly. "Yeah, it'll be a lot safer. Please, Mistie?"
"Fine. But I'm not sleeping in this tiny chair."
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"Hey, can we talk?"
Atrin stopped folding the blankets she and Mistie had used during the night. "Of course. What's up?"
"Sit down, please."
"Uh-oh. This can't be good. You're not breaking up with me, are you?"
"No. No. Definitely not Um, but it is serious."
"Alright." She sat on the edge of his bed. "So...?"
"So. Listen, we've been together for a while. Almost a year, technically. And...and it's been the best time of my life."
"But?"
"But nothing. I already said I wasn't ending us."
"Uh, sorry. Go on."
"I... I don't know where or when it happened, but...I... I fell in love with you."
"What?"
"I love you, Atrin."