TWENTY-FIVE

'Deep down within the core of our being lies a creative power…

The capacity to create what is to be…

And the urge to make unremitting efforts until we have given it shape...

In one way or another…

Either outside ourselves…

Or within our own person'

-'From My Life: Poetry and Tri', J W Von Goethe

Martin was sat on the TARDIS floor watching The Doctor picking up pieces of the Time Machine's roof. The debris was strewn all around the console area creating chaotic, jagged shadows inside the soft green glow of the room. The sun still hung in the sky beyond the wrecked ceiling of the TARDIS and the light it shone was now a deep, warm orange mixed with claret red. It was surrounded by a constantly darkening sky made up of the deepest shades of velvet blue.

Martin gazed around feeling strangely detached from his surroundings. Jay was knelt to his left, his shoulder resting against Martin's. He was smiling at The Doctor who, in turn, looked a little flustered and slightly annoyed.

"Well, don't let me bother you both whilst I do all the manual work!" The Doctor said begrudgingly reaching down to pick up another piece of debris, "You two just sit there I'll sort all this out!" He stumbled slightly, nearly dropping his 'arms full' load. "… And I'll make the tea!"

He suddenly kicked at a panel on the TARDIS wall. There was a wheeze of air followed by a groan of metal and then a large, square hole appeared within the roundels. The Doctor threw the debris into the shaft, the metal clanking and scraping as it was hurled into the dark. He then brushed his hands together and dusted down his jacket.

"Recycling, Marty" The Doctor said confidently "That's something your world is starting to catch up on! That's a good thing!" He looked at Martin and frowned. "Do you recycle, Marty?"

Martin paused. "Ermm… Sometimes, yeah" He said with more than a hint of embarrassment. The Doctor looked disappointed and Martin had to think quickly on his feet. "But I do always make sure my litter goes in a bin" He added brightly as if that made everything all right.

"Oh..." The Doctor said flatly, drooping his mouth down at both sides. He then banged on a big, blue button on the TARDIS console, the disposal chute suddenly closed and a gentle humming sound began all around the room. He tapped speedily on a keyboard attached to the console and raised his head towards the roof.

Martin followed his gaze to see sections of the destroyed ceiling slowly 'growing' back. It seemed that the roof was simply repairing itself with the very metal is was always made of.

"Recycling…" The Doctor repeated and then looked almost contemplative "Like the cycle of life itself" He grinned at Martin and Jay. "From knowing, to not knowing, to knowing again… On it goes…"

"What are you talking about now, Doctor?" Martin asked, his voice was hoarse and brittle.

"The journey of the soul, Martin" Jay spoke quietly yet confidently. "From knowing your oneness with God, to not knowing and then, when this 'life' is over, to knowing again. It is a journey that every soul takes… And by that I mean every soul without exception. There is no soul that is not God. For the soul and God are One"

Martin looked around at Jay inquisitively. "But, if that is the case, why did I see the things I saw? If the soul and God are really one... Why did I see that God of fear? Why did I put myself through all of this?"

"To show others…" The Doctor offered "And to make others question their own beliefs" He moved slowly around the console room as he spoke, occasionally bending down to pick up more pieces of the debris. "For now many people out there are asking themselves… What sort of God do they believe in? If, indeed, they believe in any God at all? For humanity's idea about God shapes the world you all live in. And the world you live in is paying a price for that. Religious fundamentalists threaten your very existence and it is their beliefs about God that is causing this reality!"

"Beliefs are thoughts… And thought is the most powerful tool in the universe" Jay said rising to his feet, "Even the things you put down to fate come from all thoughts everywhere"

"Hey!" The Doctor shouted suddenly as if some great revelation had just hit him "'From All Thoughts Everywhere'? F.A.T.E.. Fate!" He grinned his huge grin, "Oh, that's very clever, Jay! Very quick! I like that!" He beamed.

Jay smiled and carried on "Many will see the God that they believe in within the wrathful portrayal of the 'God' in your tale. For some, God is to be feared and obeyed without question. This is a God of their own understanding. For others, they will see and understand a slightly 'watered down' version of this wrathful God. They will say He is judgemental and capable of anger, but only towards those that they personally disagree with. In other words, he is a God that is on their side… Whichever side they are on. And he only really punishes murderers or rapists and, of course, people from other, untrue faiths…"

"Your race has an amazingly varied view on God, Marty" The Doctor bent down to pick up an extra large piece of ceiling "A billion and three different ideas and theologies about God. It's no wonder your world is in trouble!" He threw the weighty debris into the recycling chute. "I mean, all this judgement and punishment... It just might all 'sort of' make sense if there was just one religion. If there was just one truth to choose from and you all knew it was either that or nothing... That or hellfire... Then maybe, just maybe, it might sound slightly plausible... But that's evidently not the case on your world, is it? A billion voices with a million different choices of belief and gods... There's even dozens of 'off shoots' of the same religions, all proclaiming that theirs is the 'One True Faith'. This fact alone should really convince any halfway intelligent and open minded person that such a set up cant be the work of an all powerful, all knowledgeable, not to mention 'all loving' God" He banged again on the blue button and the process of recycling hummed into life once more.

"But the Truth has a way at pointing at itself… And those who truly listen will always be given the Truth... in time. Seek and you shall find…" Jay smiled warmly. "It is time for humanity to create and embrace a new, truthful idea about God… and about themselves" He said moving towards one of the TARDIS' chairs "This is why you are here."

"But how does what is happening to me now affect others? I'm the only one that's here" Martin looked around him as if searching for hiding 'stowaways'.

"There are many here with you now as they have been since the beginning of this journey. In Truth, I know each one of them. I know theirdreams and ambitions. I know their own loves and their own deepest fears" He paused as if hearing distant voices "And I know they'll be so confused about what's happening right now!" He laughed gently.

"Well, they're not alone there" Martin shook his head and allowed himself to chuckle briefly.

Jay looked at Martin and smiled. "Some people say that life is a journey of discovery. But, in truth, it is a journey of creation… This is what we are up to now. You are an incredibly creative being and therefore followed this part of the story to its logical conclusion. You have dared to ask the greatest question any one can ever ask: What is God?"

"You came up with two very different ideas about God" The Doctor interjected. "A God of Love… And a God of Fear. And you dared to ask… What if?"

Jay smiled at Martin "And what you have seen and created recently, within this shattered illusion of wrathful angels and alien gods, is your fearful 'what if?'"

"And it looked something like this: What if you live in the long prophesied 'End Times'? What if the afterlife is really a physical resurrection that happens on this world after 'Judgement Day'? What if God is Yahweh or Jehovah? Who, in turn, is a physical flesh and blood 'King' in the 'Heavens'? This is a very tiny 'twist' on what a lot of believers think anyway..." The Doctor once more began picking up more pieces of the ceiling from the floor as he spoke.

"Their God, whatever they choose to call Him, is the one True God and therefore His laws are the only laws" Jay continued "They all show you different laws, though, and all proclaiming that to choose any other law than theirs means eternal punishment for your soul. They believe in a God that is 'out there' and is going to 'get you' and punish you for your 'crimes' against Him. This theology is taught in my time and, I regret to say, it is still taught in yours"

The Doctor banged once more on the wall panel and the recycle shaft gaped open. He then threw pieces of his collection of debris into the hole as he spoke…

"Wars have been fought. Millions upon millions killed all because they all had a different idea about 'God'. And yet they all believe that their idea about God is 'right'. But in this, they are 'wrong'" He threw one last piece of ceiling into the hole and then banged it closed. He pointed at Martin almost accusingly "You had your own idea about this God…"

"The God in your story is a God of your creation" Jay said softly.

The Doctor nodded confidently and moved over to the console area and banged the blue button once more. "And, the truth is, maybe their God is a God of their creation too… Yet the very words I am saying here would be called the highest blasphemy by many followers of many different Gods. They would say these are the words of the Devil. They cannot hear the truths you have been given here and have received from the moment 'The Book of Life' was opened because their eyes are shut and their ears are covered due to literally millennia of dogma and suppression... Not to mention closed minds and closed hearts"

Jay was now sat in the one of the leather chairs that hung on the rail around the TARDIS central column. He looked over at Martin and nodded almost thankfully towards him.

"With your story you have done a very clever thing. You have blurred the lines between good and evil. And you have made the 'God' of half the worlds population into an egotistical, jealous alien."

The Doctor chuckled to himself "Well done on that… That should go down well with all the worlds' fundamentalists! I'm sure they're going to love you!"

Ignoring The Doctor Martin turned and stared at Jay. "But I heard a voice… Deep within me… It didn't seem part of the 'illusion'… It was something… Real. I was asked a question… Twice… Both at the Mount and then back there on the hillside"

"And what did the voice say? What was the question asked?" Jay responded calmly.

"It asked 'Who Are You?'" Martin whispered.

Jay smiled warmly. "And what other question would God ask?"

'You have come to this world in this way, at this time, in this place, to know Who You Are- and to create Who You Wish To Be. This is the purpose of all life. Life is an on-going, never-ending process of re-creation. You keep recreating your selves in the image of your next highest idea about yourselves…'

:'Conversations With God book 2', Neale Donald Walsh