Thanks so much for the reviews! And, here is the chapter I promised- I hope you guys like it :-)
I wake up later and everyone is gone. The nurses are assisting the other patients and the doctors are probably taking a break. The oxygen mask I had has been removed and I don't have needles and wires poking all over me anymore. There is a glass of water and a piece of cornbread on a tray on the table beside my bed. I chug the water down and eat the cornbread in a matter of seconds. It feels good to finally get something good down my throat.
A nurse notices I'm awake and walks over, "Can I get you anything?" She asks.
I shake my head and then ask, "Can I leave now?"
The nurse smiles and shakes her head, "You shouldn't be so eager to leave. You want to heal, don't you?"
"I feel fine. Can I please go? I'm healed enough," I say in a pleading tone.
"I'll go get a doctor, and he'll make the decision." She says and runs off to find a doctor. She returns shortly after with a dark haired man dressed in a white coat. He smiles sincerely at me and checks me over.
"I don't know, Sadie. Maybe it would be best if you stayed a little longer." The man says.
"Please," I beg. I need to get out of here.
"I'd rather you not, just to be safe." He answers.
"Do you need anything else?" The nurse asks as the doctor leaves, "I could get you some water, and maybe applesauce,"
I shake my head, "No, I'm fine, thanks."
"Okay, then let me know if you need anything," she says and walks off.
Night comes fast and I prepare for an escape. I have the slightest feeling that Gage might be in the training room, so when the doctors and nurses are sleeping, I'll sneak out and go there. If he's not there, I'll come back. If he is there, I don't know what I'll say. I can't just go in there and say that he does deserve to be with me, can I? I think that'd just be weird.
After the nurses and doctors are asleep, I slip out of bed and make my way to the door. The infirmary is dark and I have a hard time navigating myself through it. But, I eventually make it and slip out of the door. I start right down the hall, toward the Pit. I'm really nervous to pass through it, but I find I don't have much of a choice. When I reach the Pit, it is completely vacant, which calms me. But, I still lurk in the shadows and stay as quiet as possible.
I take the pathway leading to the training room. It is very dimly lit and I feel as though I'm in a haunted house. I shake the feeling that something is going to pop out at me and continue my trek to the training room. I reach the large doors in no time and reach for the handle. I feel myself hesitate. What if he's not even in here, and Bo and Jane are instead? What if he is in here, what will I say? But, I know I can't waste much more time so I inhale deeply and prepare to open the door.
But, I can't.
Come on, just do it. What's the harm? I think to myself. I force myself to reach for the handle again and this time yank it open right away. It swings open revealing the brightly lit training room. I see Gage in the corner, throwing knives at the targets. He turns and looks at me with a confused expression, "Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" He asks.
I nod, not sure what to say. Suddenly I feel lightheaded and start to sway. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come. Maybe I should've listened to the doctor.
"Sadie, are you okay?" Gage asks, but I don't say anything, because I feel myself beginning to fall. But, Gage is already by me, and he catches me and slowly lowers me to the ground. "Sadie?"
As soon as I'm sitting I feel immediately better. "I'm fine, just got a little lightheaded." I say. I look at his eyes and see the concern. He really is concerned about me!
"Why aren't you at the infirmary then? Why are you here?" He asks, and I realize that his arm is still supporting me.
"I- I-" here hoes nothing, "I came here to see you. I wanted to thank you and apologize, but the doctors wouldn't let me leave."
"You have nothing to thank me for and definitely nothing to apologize for." He says, looking down at the floor.
"Yes, I do." I persist, "You saved my life, I think that deserves thanks."
"I helped." He says.
"You beat up two high ranking initiates, that counts as a lot of help! And, I wanted to apologize because I thought, before I saw them, that you were with them." I say. His eyes look sad.
"They almost killed you." He says, "I'm no different, because I did too. Don't apologize and don't thank me. I don't deserve it." He shakes his head and I notice his eyes are a little watery.
"Well, you saved my life twice. I think- I think you might of made up for it." I say.
He shakes his head and says sternly to me, "That will never make up for what I did! I was trying to kill you! No matter how many times I save your life, I will never forgive myself for what I did, and you shouldn't either." He really won't forgive himself. He really does feel guilty.
"All you have to do is say sorry, Gage. I might forgive you." I say.
"Don't. Don't forgive me, and I won't say sorry. It won't matter if I'm sorry, which of course I am, it shouldn't change anything. What I did is unforgivable." He says, solemnly.
"Why did you do it, Gage? Why are you now saving me and- and-" I stumble over my words.
"Why? I- I believed in my parents. I was young and most of all foolish. I thought that they were right the things they said about you and your family. They raised me to believe that by torturing you, I was doing the good thing, the right thing. They said your family was evil, and trying to destroy everything good in life, so I instantly hated you." He takes a deep breath and I notice him fighting back tears, "They- they told me to make your life a life full of humiliation. But, then they said that I should end you. I don't think I realized that then I would be dealing with murder. I followed their instructions and almost killed you, but realized I didn't want a murder on my hands. I was better off leaving you there to die instead of killing you myself. So, I left.
"My parents were furious with me for not ending you, and then I got expelled. They hated me and said I was good for nothing, and then they disappeared. I went to live with my grandma, who thought my parents were the horrible ones. She gave me a bible and told me to read it, to learn about God. She taught me to be good, she taught me what's good. I was lucky to go with her. But, then I realized what I had done. With you. And, every night I'd spend it praying for your safety and asking God to please have mercy on me. I was weighed down with regret, and I hoped I'd never have to see you again. Every time I saw you, I'd hide, ashamed of what I did. Just the sight of you made me want go collapse and cry. I wanted the guilt to end, so bad, but I knew it couldn't until you forgave me. But, at the same time I knew you shouldn't forgive me. I didn't deserve it.
"My grandma died shortly before the Choosing Ceremony. She was all I had left and I promised I'd always cherish what's good. I was alone,bug I had to fix things, i had to become the good man she always wanted me to be. She was the only one I really loved. I'd never hurt you again. I also figured that once I became a Dauntless, I probably wouldn't see you again. But, when you chose Dauntless, I knew I was wrong. So, from then on I made a vow to make you not scared of me and to protect you no matter what." He rubs a hand through his hair.
"Then, when you almost fell off the Ferris wheel, I felt my heart skip a beat. When I caught you, I could see the terror in your eyes and I knew, you thought I was going to let go. Of course, I wouldn't though. And, then I had to fight you. You came to the mat pale. You were still scared that I was going to hurt you, but I didn't want to. I wanted to win, but I didn't want to hurt you at all. So, I went as easy as I could. I saw the confusion in your face, and even though the guilt was still eating away at me, I felt as though I did the right thing." His eyes wander up and meet mine. I stare back at him for a while, taking in his cropped light brown hair, large blue-green eyes filled with regret and remorse, his perfectly angled face, his light olive skin and small nose. He is handsome, and I realize I don't associate him as a killer, but instead of a savior. I do forgive him, and I do trust him.
"How did you know to help me?" I ask.
"Kinsey came running around the corner and crashed into me. She was crying and said 'It's Sadie' I didn't know what she meant until she said that they were going to kill you. I thought I was going to lose you. When I came back Austin didn't know the details so I sent him to go find your friends and I stayed with you. And, just looking at you I realized the truth. I wasn't just trying to make up for everything, I was- I was falling in- in love with you." He says, shaking his head, "But, I can't fall in love with you. I dont deserve to. I don't deserve you, not after what I did."
I stare at him for a moment and I understand. All this time he wanted to make up for it, and found himself also falling in love with me. Gage is in love with me. "Wh- wh-" I stutter.
"It doesn't matter if I save your life. I could save your life millions of times and never ever deserve you. I will never make up for what I did." A single tear rolls down his cheek. He quickly wipes it away and gathers himself, "You should go." He says, in his deep voice. But I don't want to go. I want to make him understand that I forgive him, and that I know he's changed.
I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder, "I don't care what you say. I forgive you anyway. I thank you anyway and I apologize anyway. I don't associate you with fear anymore, only safety and protection." I feel my eyes fill with tears, and I pull away, "I don't want you to feel guilt, because you've changed, and I accept the different you. You should accept the different you too. This is the Gage I know, the Gage I trust. Be that person, and you will always deserve me." I say.
He tries to object but before he can, I lean in and press my lips against his. I place my hand behind his neck and feel his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into his lap. So what if I like it? He has changed, and I might have just fallen in love with the new Gage. His arms are strong, steady, and gentle, wrapping me in a warm embrace. His lips feel warm against mine, and if I place my free hand over his heart, I can feel it beating fast, like mine.
He pulls away and studies my face, "How can you forgive me?" He asks.
I shrug, "Because I see the change in you, and I like it. Plus, I might have just fallen in love with you, and how can I deny that." A smile plays across his lips.
"So, you wouldn't mind if I do this?" He asks, leaning in but stopping centimeters before his lips meet mine.
"No, not at all." I answer, grinning.
"Then, what about this?" He presses his lips against mine and I'm immediately blown away by how gentle the kiss is, coming from such a strong guy. He pulls away and looks me in the eye.
"I definitely don't mind that. And, look who had a sudden wave of confidence." I punch his arm playfully.
"You are a hard girl to argue with," he grins at me, but then his face becomes serious, "I don't think you should become involved with me."
"I do. I like you Gage, and I think you should accept that whether you like it or not. You do deserve me, and that's the end of it." I cross my arms and straighten my back.
He laughs, "As I said before, you are a hard girl to argue with."
I lean over and kiss him again, "I know."
"Come on, let's get you back to the infirmary before they send out a search party." He says, helping me to my feet.
"I don't want to go back there." I pout.
"I'll stay with you," he offers and I nod and smile. But, suddenly I feel lightheaded again. "You okay?" He asks.
"Lightheaded," I answer.
"Yeah, we gotta get you back there." He scoops me up in his arms and carries me to the infirmary.
When we enter a nurse comes rushing in, and I pretend to be asleep, "Where was she?" The nurse asks.
"I found her sleepwalking around," Gage says, and I fight a smile. He knew how to not get me in trouble, "Do you mind if I stay, just to watch over her for you?" He asks.
"I suppose it would be helpful. I'll grab you a blanket." The hear the nurse say and scurry off.
Gage lays me down on my bed and I whisper, "Thanks Gage, for everything." And then I feel myself falling to sleep.
But, before I'm gone, I hear him whisper, "Goodnight, Sadie. Don't forget, I'm here."
And, I feel that it has a deeper meaning then what comes to show.
It's not as good as I hoped it to be, but I'm just happy that Sadie and Gage are finally together! But, there is still more to come! Plus, for all you know, Gage could just be tricking her. . . . . . . Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW SO I KNOW I SHOULD CONTINUE! AND, DO YOU THINK THAT SADIE SHOULD FORGIVE KINSEY? LET ME KNOW!
Merry Christmas!
-Luvkitties22