Chapter 25
Luna: She lingered in front of the door for several minutes, inhaling and exhaling, furiously wiping at her eyes. She needed to leave, but she could not have the disgusting woman from the lobby so much as look at her questioningly. Ensuring her face was dry, though there was nothing she could do of the redness, she had to stop herself from blatantly running outside; she reined in her steps and exited the hotel as calmly as she could, though there was such raging within her that she could not control. The cold air hit her face in a way most refreshing, as she felt as if she were burning up from the inside, and she gulped it down gratefully before starting down the street. She was unsure of where she was going, if anywhere, but there was distance to be put and nerves to be calmed.
She was not petty, she was not silly... His words rang in her head with almost as much loudness and bitterness with which he uttered them. Her vision started blurring once more as another wave of tears came, but she dabbed them away before they could drop.
Loki: He wondered where she planned on going for a brief moment, as he heard the steps echoing while they diminished down the hallway. She would not possibly leave him after only one little spat, would she? He did not harm her... Not physically, at least. He swallowed, slight nerves showing up that she could very well just walk away and make him fend for himself from then on. Alone. But even then, the very thought of having to be as such sparked a sort of distress within him. At that point, if she gave away what was going on to S.H.I.E.L.D, she would be just as punished as he would be, so he had confidence that she would not... But if she simply left him... He frowned, noticing a peculiar stab in his chest at the very thought. He did not want to be alone. Not really.
Luna: As though devoid of all senses, she did not hear, see, or take any notice of a group of men stepping behind her, until all too suddenly, she found herself surrounded by three of them and being ushered towards an alley before she could even react. Frantic, her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when she became highly aware of what was going on. She began looking about her, seeing nobody in sight, and nothing but her own hands to defend herself with. They called out things to her, so lewd and disgusting that she tried not to cringe.
Too soon, she was backed up against the wall, and the three were getting far closer than necessary, setting panic to her entire being, panic that she fruitlessly attempted to keep in check. Frenetic, she did not understand how she didn't acknowledge the danger before it was upon her.
The second one of them laid a large, hairy-knuckled hand on her waist, she snapped and began throwing punches and delivering blows where she could, arms, legs, anything she could reach as her mind scrambled to not lose coherence. Her hands hurt with the force, and to her even greater frenzy, another pair of hands grabbed her and restrained her. Her arms quite disabled, she did not refrain from trying, and trying and trying; this time, she stomped at what feet she could, before lashing out and kicking the one in front of her. However, there were three of them and one of her, and she was subdued quickly. She was frightened, never wishing for Loki more than she did at this very point. The hands on her felt too heavy, too alien, too unwanted.
Loki: The room was relatively quiet, except for the occasional audible footsteps on the floor above. He knew very well that Luna was most likely outside already, running as far as she could in the short amount of time she had been missing from the hotel room. He rose out of his chair with that train of thoughts.
He needed to get her back, to at least attempt to apologize, and if she did not accept it, then he would know that all his attempts were in vain and that distance was indeed in order. He walked quickly down the winding hall and into the lobby, ignoring the ignorant woman at the desk, who seemed much more dedicated to her cellular device than anything, and finally, out of the hotel. It was a relief, he knew in the back of his mind, as he had not the power nor the desire to change into his other form. There was no one along the streets, for the hour was late and there would be no one to bother him. He picked up speed immediately, listening for a noise of any sort that would indicate where she had gone. What he heard, however, was a far away bustling, along with the sounds of several men who called out lewd comments, plainly intended for a woman.
His heart dropped and he sprinted towards the source, glancing through every street he passed until he came to an alleyway. He threw a look down its dead-end, only to see three men grouping around Luna, who was restrained, her free limbs flailing about as she tried to prevent the incoming proximity of the men. He cleared his throat, placing his hands behind his back as he summoned his knives. He took the attention away from Luna, though their arms still pinned her to the wall.
"Good evening gentlemen," he said calmly, surveying the scene that he knew would be all too easy to get rid of. "I suggest you let her go." More vulgar comments were thrown at him, regarding the fact that he had an apparent "accent" and that he was thin and scrawny, therefore no match. He shook his head in false incredulity. "I am warning you now, good gentlemen, that if you do not let her go, she shall be the last shred of warmth against your bodies."
Luna: The more the men crowded her, the more frantic her struggles became; what was left of the rational part of her mind knew that she was simply wasting her energy for no good reason, as there was hardly a way for her to get out of this unscathed. However, once she heard a familiar voice, her limbs very nearly gave out, and if she was not held so firmly against the rough, brick wall, the relief might have just brought her to the ground. She froze, along with the three men, though their grasps did not loosen one bit. If anything, they began laughing at what she knew was simply feigned politeness, in order to escape bloodshed.
One of the men, a large thing, almost the size of a boulder, grabbed Luna's arm and yanked her away from the wall, twisting her arm behind her back and using his other arm to wrap it around her shoulders as he pressed her against him, almost like a human shield. She felt the appalling scent of alcohol wafting about him, and her face scrunched up in massive distaste; his meaty flesh pressing so closely to her back only served to worsen it all. She looked at Loki with incredible gratitude, though with just a tinge of desperation underneath, for she needed the touching to stop instantly. Nevertheless, she had an overwhelming feeling of safety, despite the position she was in. The still present relief shook her.
Loki: The laughing did not cease and he only sighed as they bent her about like a rag doll. He hated seeing her like this, being so thoroughly used when she was still very strong. "Suit yourself," he resigned and then set things in motion faster than the men could react.
He threw two knives at the men who did not restrain Luna, making them keel over from the very force of the blow – a clean cut into the center of their chests, directly to the heart. He then sprang forth quickly, ripping Luna easily out of the grip of the other man whose eyes widened in shock. Loki placed Luna at a safe distance first as he approached the other man. He grinned at the man when he seemed to have a short sort of recognition in his face of who, exactly, was about to kill him. Being at least a few inches taller than the more portly of men who stank of alcohol, Loki cleanly snapped his neck and then dropped him to the ground.
He wiped his hands of the grime that the man seemed to have covering him, and then continued moving, working to further clean the scene. He bent to tear the knives out of both of the men's chests, and wiped them clean with the cloth of their shirts that were not drenched in red and the knives disappeared easily. He glanced to see that there was a dumpster at the end of the alleyway, and then looked at Luna who still looked flushed and teary-eyed from before.
Luna: She was backed as far away from all of them as she could. Her arms burned where the man had held her with a force quite bruising. The pain was distant in her mind, however, as she watched Loki so swiftly and cleanly take the lives of all three. She watched everything transpire as she replaced herself against the wall, this time in support of her trembling legs. Her eyes flitted from one to the other, over and over again as she took in their features more clearly, now that panic was slowly dwindling, and the dark stain which grew a wider and wider circle around the knives that bloomed from two of them. This was not the first time she had seen dead bodies - she worked for S.H.I.E.L.D, and though her branch was not one to come in close contact with such matters often, it was known to happen.
She continued staring, her eyes unable to tear away from the corpses, as if mesmerized. Thoughts and emotions nearly overwhelmed her as they switched between panic as to what would happen to the bodies, to the pain that seared through her torso when she moved her arm, to incredible relief and wonder what might have happened if Loki didn't arrive, or even if he arrived later. So many impressions piled up on her as her eyes still flickered about before finally settling on Loki, himself. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she noticed that he was in his true form, and once again a pang of fear hit her, mingling with guilt and shame that she led them both to such a situation. In truth, she was more shaken by the remnants of the sensations of the men's large, filthy hands upon her than of Loki's killing. It did not reach her yet.
Loki: He dragged each of the bodies into the large bin, covering the stains of blood with dirt so if one would only look down the alleyway and see emptiness rather than a murder scene. He made his way back up to Luna who seemed to but stand there, trying to make sense of what had just transpired. "Are you hurt?" he asked briskly, as he was very angry that she would so willingly walk out of a hotel room and make herself so vulnerable in such an unbalanced state of being.
Luna: Her eyes followed his every single movement, her mind struggling to grasp the fact that those were human bodies that he handled with such ease. She could not help but observe them as discarded dolls and puppets, limp and pliable. So many impressions washed across her that her mind merely went numb, blank with trying to process everything that has happened since the moment they began raising their voices at each other. She still felt her skin tingle where the men had touched her, and she shuddered, trying to push the feeling away, for it disgusted her so... She tried not to flinch from the tone of his voice as she straightened up, forcing some stability to both her body and her voice. "No," she said shortly, though her arm felt quite a bit sore.
Loki: He sighed, shaking his head, looking at her with scrutiny to ensure that she was telling the truth. "You should not have left the building at," he scolded, his brow furrowing as he continued to return her gaze. "That was unwise."
Luna: She nodded. "I know." She found that a part of her wished that he would decide to go on without her, that this event made him realize what an imbecile she was and that he would not risk her getting them into such situations again. Yet despite the massive amounts of embarrassment that coursed through her, making her wish she were invisible so that she would not have to feel his disapproving glare on her, she felt just as much gratitude that he came looking for her in the first place. And then, there was slight anger, still simmering in her... She should not have left the building? A sigh escaped her. "I would not have left if you did not… do what you did," she muttered.
Loki: He sighed, knowing that to be true, but his glare did not let out. He considered apologizing, but the fact she put them both into possible danger only made him angrier. He dismissed it, considering he did almost strike her, something she would not have liked at all. He lowered his eyes. "I know," he replied quietly, looking back at the alleyway to double-check that they were not being watched and there was no evidence remaining of what had. "Let us leave... you need to rest," he insisted, though he needed the rest, himself. Enough had happened in one day.
Luna: She nodded in agreement, following him back to the hotel room, along the way combing through her hair with her fingers and straightening her shirt, a shiver crawling up her body with the memory of the men's crude touches. She did not know how to feel, and even that fact brought even further, mixed floods in her. They argued, he yelled at her and belittled her, he almost slapped her - she had every single right to be infuriated with him and cease all contact. Yet he saved her just now from who knows what... And that, alone, meant that she owed him at least her gratitude, if not her life. But such a situation would not have come to existence had he not acted as such. She retained her silence as they walked.
Loki: He knew that she was still angry at him for what were possibly proper reasons. He had to apologize to her, or give at least a reason why he saved her and not let her die or be humiliated in what could have also been rape. He always had a distaste for those who lacked in the art of seduction, and it was for that reason and that alone he killed those men, rather than simply scaring them off. He would not see Luna exploited in such a fashion, taken advantage of. He had done enough of it already, but that gave no one else permission to do the same. He still pressed his lips together as he opened the door for her. He continued his silence as he walked over to lay onto the bed, his back to her.
Luna: She stood in the room for several long, silent minutes, her stare almost empty, though her mind was threatening to overflow, as if there was hardly any room for all she felt at that moment. The room, itself, seemed smaller, as well, what with the tension coursing through thickly. Her eyes were on the ground, and as she moved to the chair, she felt as if her movements were mechanical. She settled herself upon it before her legs gave way to her weight, and she curled up in it, not paying very much heed at all to the comfort, or lack thereof. What happened replayed in her head over and over again, the moment it reached the present moment, it would go back to the beginning, from when they began arguing, the things they've said, how they've said it, the impossible anger she felt and the stab of fear as he raised his hand, and not just his voice... The area around her eyes tightened slightly as she thought about it, time and time again, with each time being granted a new detail her mind only now recalled, after it had been over.
Loki: He curled up on his side as he could nearly feel the amount of discomfort that she had radiating off of her. He knew she might not even speak to him for a very long time. He had to make it up somehow, but he stood in his viewpoint. It was true, he did not wish to slap her, but it almost felt... like he had to, if only to get her to stop speaking. He felt the feeling of... guilt? He felt guilty for attempting to wound her, even after he promised not to harm her? He was the god of lies, after all, so she should feel ridiculous for trusting him, but wasn't it he who was getting tired of not having any sort of trust? He eventually laid on his back, his head turning to the side. "I believe our time here has been shortened," he muttered nonchalantly.
Luna: "As soon as you're ready..." she said quietly, not moving from her spot. She began shoving thoughts and memories of the past hour as far away as she could; if she kept thinking about it all, she would not find within her the strength enough to move, but rather stay in one place until she recuperated and felt more prepared to go on with what was now her life.
Loki: "I don't believe I can at this very moment..." he replied quietly. He was somewhat glad that she was speaking to him, knowing it was better than being ignored. He still had a dull ache in his abdomen from having to change earlier. He needed to rest and so did she. They were far enough away to afford such a thing.
Luna: The quiet sound that escaped her was indifferent, blank as her stare. The thoughts kept returning; all annulled each other... He shouted - but he saved her life. He very nearly hit her - but he saved her life. He spoke disrespectfully, and so did she - and once again, he saved her life. She did not like how frustrated it made her, the fact that she had almost no basis on which to be angry with him, all because he decided to go after her. "Why did you come for me?" she asked almost inaudibly, her gaze averted. All the things he said did not find their source in his anger. It was just a conduct that had him freely say that which he most definitely believes about her. So why would he come?
Loki: He attempted to gather the facts that he knew. Why did he come for her when he could have easily been rid of her, but not by his own direct doings? Granted, he did send her running out to begin with, but it was not he, directly, who'd have taken her life… Others would be blamed and he would have been free of her burden. He was close enough to the border that he could easily figure it all out. So why did he? He ran his fingers through his hair as he stared up to the ceiling, attempting to gather his thoughts. "Because you were in danger," he replied simply, knowing there was much more to it than that.
Luna: Though her mind sent commands to her body to move, she could not will herself to. She merely rested where she was, gazing at nothing in particular. "You didn't know that," she answered.
She was careful with her questions, as she knew so very clearly how quickly all could go downhill, no matter the previous or even current state of matters. Even if he did know, why would he care? Why would he go outside, risking his usual form, to push back the danger when he could have so easily been rid of her? It should have been evident to her, judging by his words, that he truly could not care less. As far as she was concerned, he did not - perhaps he still needed her for mere technicalities of his escape, and only saving her life to have a higher chance of saving his own. "Thank you for coming," she said a little hoarsely after a while.
Loki: He made a noise in reaction to her words and nodded, but said nothing more. He only looked at the ceiling. He would never admit to the fact he saved her because he did not want to be alone. She could assume all that she wanted to assume, but never would he show yet another vulnerability to add onto the list. She might not even believe him, assuming that what he did was out of complete selfishness, which... it was. But he did not want to see her dead... or humiliated. And that, in itself, startled him.
Luna: Blush crept up to her cheeks and warmed there the moment she thought about the fact that he's seen her in her weakest not once, but many times. Things seemed to turn against her, align in such a way that would bring her to cry around him, let just about everything get the best of her. She despised it. Seldom in her life did she care about whether or not she would look weak in front of people, and she seldom had a reason to be weak or show it in the first place. And now, she was with a man who already thought her many things, none of which she liked - weak, most of all - and it simply happened so that she would prove herself even more so than he thought. What a disappointment she must have been. And yet, she was not trying to leave a good impression, as it ultimately did not matter - she wouldn't see him ever again, and the sooner that moment came, the better.
Loki: The accursed girl, he thought repetitively. She was sneaking up to him and wrapping herself around one of his fingers and holding on for all she was worth. He didn't want to see her dead, he added on to the many thoughts. And why not? Did he not want to kill her if she did not come with him? Has he not flexed his own power over her many a time only for her to remain with him? He could have very well been without another for a very long time. He could have gotten along even without having to face Midgardian society. He would venture around forests until he worked up his power again. He would make sure he was lost to the world before becoming lost to Yggdrasil altogether.
He thought of all of the things he could have done without her, when she was dead, but none of them seemed to appeal to him anymore. Not like it did before. He shuddered, angry at the thought that she was slowly becoming his weakness and she probably still hated him. He had to apologize, he added to his thoughts. If he did not, she'd be lost forever. But the night only drifted on and he found himself lost within the places of his mind, no apology or rest to be found.
Luna: With her head leaning against the armrest, she curled up into the chair as tightly as she could. She doubted that she would be able to sleep, despite her body almost begging for it; what she could do is close her eyes and focus on her breathing, let it try and overpower the rest of her thoughts so maybe, just maybe, they would back off long enough to let her fall asleep. The second she closed her eyes, a tear that had been gathering up until that point without her realizing dropped out, rolling down her temple and into her hair. She drew in a deep breath, covering most of her face with her hand. She wished that he wasn't able to look at her, and closing her eyes, thus not seeing anything, herself, helped her feel just a hair more invisible.
Things changed in such a rapid pace, one she did not like. She could but hope that they would soon turn to good again - she would enjoy it while it was present, but she knew now to always expect something unfavorable to happen, simply to keep the scales even. Her happiness of the previous day seemed so very distant, so very strange. She did wish to be on good terms with him, she did, but it was as if everything worked its hardest to make it as impossible as can be.
Loki: He could not continue like this. Not with her. He inhaled sharply to relieve the bitterness he still felt regarding the words she spat at him. Desperate. Pathetic. The reason why they wounded him so greatly was most likely because he knew them to be true. He was desperate because he only wanted to live... Why he wanted to live was a question on its own. Pathetic? Yes. She made him feel very pathetic, especially at that moment. However, the silence was hardly doing any justice for either of them. "Luna," he began, though he was unsure what, exactly, he was going to say.
Luna: His calling came unexpected, and her hand dropped slightly as she opened her eyes and looked over it tentatively at him. "Yes?" she answered. She did not like the way her heart began a new race when he called for her, as though it had a more important place to be than with her; who knew what he was going to tell her now? Would he continue his berating from earlier, ensure she knows good and well just how idiotic she was for both her words and actions, just how far below him she was? Or, perhaps, that he doesn't want her around anymore? That he had enough and that he would prefer to continue on his journey alone? That he had neither the desire, nor patience, nor use for her company anymore? It should have felt more like relief.
Loki: The apology would not come, despite his parted lips. After all, he did mean everything he said, everything he used to defend himself, though he did so a little more than he liked. He could not simply lie to her. Not now. "I..." he began, and ran his fingers through his hair before looking to a wall rather than at her. "I did not mean to threaten you… When I said that I would not harm you, I..." he felt ridiculous, but he knew it would be enough... perhaps it would, at least.
Luna: Her eyebrows moved slightly in surprise of his words. It was not an apology, but then again, she knew something such was not to be expected of him. This was as far as he would go and she would be a fool to try and get any more out of him. Besides, she did not feel as if she needed to. Somehow, she ended up owing him more than he owed her, despite all he's said and done. As she could not meet his gaze, for it was not her he was looking at, she closed her eyes again. "Alright..." she murmured. After the first incident, he said he would try and control himself, yet all of that went straight out the window at random; she doubted he needed any particular incentive. Perhaps third time's the charm, and then he would not be able to restrain himself in any way.
Loki: "I lost control," he murmured quietly with a shake of his head. "I truly do not wish to harm you, but..." he ran his fingers through his hair, looking at her directly, "sometimes my mind believes that is the only way... Despite my wishes." he explained quietly. He didn't want her blood on his hands. He could not lie to himself and tell himself that in any other circumstances he would not have enjoyed such a death, but there was more to it than that.
Luna: He lost control more often than was safe for her, and what truly scared her was the fact that he could not guarantee that it would not happen again, and with different results. Were it not for that gap in his mind, she might have even befriended him. But there it was, and he did not seem to have a firm hold on it, and if he did not, nobody would, and there was very little that could stop him. She knew he said that he would try not to let such things happen, but a single look at how things were momentarily... She did not know what to tell him. "I don't want there to be a next time, especially not one where you finish what you began," she murmured, knowing again that her words would mean little. It was like throwing pebbles at a wall made of impenetrable glass, frustration, stress, tension, confusion...
Loki: He furrowed his brow, knowing he could not say anything that would be entirely truthful. He didn't know what to say in such a case... He could try and prove himself to be gentle, to not always be out of control, but even then there were no guarantees. He shook his head. "I know," he replied quietly. It was mortifying for him, as he had always been under the impression he could do what he wished, when he wished, and when he didn't want for something to happen, it didn't. In light of recent events, his control upon himself and his mind seemed to be slowly draining into the abyss he threw himself into. "I will do anything... I truly mean it, Luna," he said earnestly, his brows pulling together. "As long as I continue believing I do not want to harm you, which I do not, I'll continue to stop myself... Believe me..."
Luna: It was almost comical - he, Loki, was asking her to have faith in him... She shifted her weight slightly, simply to ensure she still felt her body, as it did not feel her own at the moment. His words did strike a chord somewhere within her, the unspoken plea, the tone of his voice, the entire situation infused with desperation. "I'll try..." she said with a small nod. They will try, hopefully. It was such an impossible situation that she simply did not know how to handle it. She could try and believe him, and at one point, she might even do so, but even if he proved that which he said, she knew that it still did not mean that at any point, it could all shatter. One more sensible would give up, leave it be and walk away. The options were minimal.
Loki: He nodded slowly, looking over to her once more. She seemed quite confused... almost as confused as he was when it came down to it. He knew that the little shred of faith in him that she had would not keep her from losing it the moment he did truly threaten her life. He drew in a shuddering breath and let it out, resting back upon the bed. At least it still meant that he could stand a chance with being something to her, even if it was merely for the fact that he did not kill her and she made it through spending such intimate time with him alive. "Thank you," he replied quietly, but said no more.
Luna: "You're welcome," she replied, though as lowly as she said it, it could have easily been meant for nobody in particular. Facing the window, she could see bits and pieces of the night sky and its dull, polluted color, the filthy yellow glow of the street lamps making it seem almost brown; the building tops reached up for it, prodding, looming. Her jaw clenched slightly as she recalled the men who had attacked her.
She was quick to establish that she did not feel sorry for their deaths. The situation could have been handled differently, and they could have lived, but in her mind, such people were merely spoiling the Earth, and they were not crucial to it. After all, if it was not Luna they succeeded in maiming, it would have been someone else. And now, there were fewer people who did such foul things and therefore, their death was not something that affected her highly. People might not take kindly to such an opinion, and would perhaps call it rather extreme, as those men might have had families or other people who would miss them, but any particular woman they assaulted would not.
Loki: He sighed and shrugged all the rest off, trying to rest his body as well as he could so they could continue moving the following day. But at the same time, he tried to resolve what he was feeling, knowing that it was not normal. He tried to find a bit of peace within his cluttered mind and once he did, he very slowly drifted off into unconsciousness, his aching body completely relaxing.
Luna: Silence took over more fully than it ever had; even the city was quiet - no rumble of the cars, no drunken bellowing, no footsteps, no birds... After a while of watching the sky remain the same, though she knew it should have been changing, her eyes traveled to Loki. He seemed to be sleeping, though she was unsure, even though she could see his chest rising and falling at a pace quite even and his green eyes remained closed for quite a while. She looked away, letting him have his peace while he could, and she envied him for it, however momentarily.
She squirmed in her chair, toying with the idea of summoning magic to her to ease her into sleep, but she knew that if she did that, there would be soreness to deal with when they had to go, and she would not be a hindrance, nor would she lead them into ordeals such as the latest one. Her arms crossed against her stomach as she shut her eyes, spending the hours remaining lulling in and out of sleep restlessly.