Even though I'd told Carlisle specifically I didn't wish to see anyone, I awoke to Edward's pale and cold hand clutching my own tightly, his golden eyes staring intensely down at my injured figure.
And I smiled, despite myself, until I realized there was a rapidly beating heartbeat in the room and my head snapped to my left glaring up at Bella Swan.
My body shot up before my brain could catch up and I howled out in pain as my bones rejected the abrupt movement. My back arched up off the bed as my screams continued and I breathed through it trying to calm myself but my eyes wouldn't leave her own frightened ones and I so desperately wanted to end her life.
Edward spoke then and I remembered he'd brought her here. "What is she doing here Edward? Get her out of here!"
My anger was boiling now and I wanted to rip her to shreds, but the pain crippled me and I laid rooted in place.
"Crystal please-"
"Don't Crystal me! Don't please me! She kissed him! She kissed him Edward and if I wasn't..." I breathe heavily straining against the pain and screaming out when it became too much.
"Calm down Crystal. You're hurting yourself." he pleaded trying to restrain me, but I pushed him away.
"NO! NO!" I protested. "I said GET. HER. THE. FUCK. OUT! I don't want her in here! You might be in love with her but I'm not so unless you want me to rip her head off her shoulders then leave! Take her and go!"
Bella stood shaking in her boots and I reached for her again, failing and falling back to the bed in agony.
Her timid voice spoke up, quaking in fear. "Edward maybe we should just-"
A body burst through the door while I still assessed Bella and only when they spoke did my whole body immobilize, and all the anger left me; I was done, irrevocably finished. I squeezed my eyes shut not wanting to see him, wanting to be anywhere else but here, wanting to be anyone else but me.
"Crystal! Crystal what's going on? What's wrong?" Other voices followed his but I could only hear him. I only focused on him though I desperately tried not to but with my eyes closed, his voice seemed impossibly louder and even more alluring.
"Crystal!"
"Leave Jacob. Now." My voice was calm, though it hurt me to say his name.
And I turned my back on all of them grunting through the pain. It felt unbearable.
"You shouldn't be moving-"
"I said leave. I want all of you to leave me alone." I couldn't even raise my voice any louder than a whisper; I was drained, of everything.
"Crystal, look at me." His voice was pleading. It sounded like he cared, like he actually gave a damn about me.
I knew he didn't. I knew now.
I refused to open my eyes.
"No." My hands moved over my ears blocking out his voice, all of their voices. "I'm tired Jake. I'm so tired. I can't do it anymore."
"Please." He almost got me. I almost gave in. But then the dam inside me broke and the floodgates opened and I cried and I yelled, like he better had fucking listen.
"I put up with all of your excuses! I put up with all of your lies! I put up with you loving her even while you swore you loved me! I put up with your looks and inattention! I loved you and I accepted everything you gave me! But you kissed her! You fucking kissed her right after you promised! You promised! I'm done! We're done! I hate you! SO GET! THE FUCK! OUT!"
He tried one last time. He lied to me one last time. "No, Crystal, I love you." I felt him grab for my hands but I snatched away. I was angry. And tired. And hurting. And I wanted to be left the hell alone.
"GET OUT!" I dragged out the command; my body shook weakly with the effort; my heart pumped on overtime in my chest; my breath came too quickly; it felt like the whole world quaked and I said it again and again. Over and over and over and over. Until the last person left my room and I passed out for the final time.
I awoke some time later, once everyone and everything was calm. I found my mother resting beside me yet again, Edward not too far off, and Jacob nowhere to be seen. My body grinned in relief although my heart hurt.
People came one at a time from that point on: the Quileute werewolves, the Cullens, friends from school. They all came and they all gave their best wishes. They all smiled and the ones who knew of the battle gave their thanks.
The werewolves told me of their success in battle, the thrill they got from ripping apart our enemies. Seth grinned proudly through his tale as did the surprisingly, his sister sulkily said nothing.
The Cullens came next and, as always, Alice talked my ear off, Jasper had few words to say, and Esme was too kind.
However, Emmett surprised me the most with a grateful peck on my cheek and a reassuring squeeze of my hand. "You saved my life," he said. "Thank you." An equally grateful Rosalie gave a single, appreciative nod, though she did not speak.
Yet during all of this, I felt numb.
Jacob never came back. He never showed up.
I was really happy about it.
Edward, after the many minutes he stood in the same spot, unmoving, expressionless, seemingly uninvested, shared the news, "He's gone Crystal."
I stared at him for a very long time. It didn't register until he said it again. "He's gone Crystal. Jake's left."
"What do you-What are you-Where?-What?" They were whispers at best, if I even managed to get any sound out at all. I didn't want to understand the immensity of what that meant, didn't want to still care about what he did and how he was.
"I don't care. I don't care." I told myself though tears streamed readily down my face. Edward took me in his arms not saying a word but he knew just as much as I did that I cared a lot. A hell of a lot.
Where had he gone? Why had he run? When was he coming back and would I ever see him again? What the hell had happened that made him want to leave me?
I didn't want to feel the pain I felt, didn't want to feel anything anymore. Not when I didn't have him, the one who caused this heartache, right beside me.