"Do not move. Are these folk troubling you my lady?" A tall, dark haired man spoke as he stood with his bow drawn, the arrow pointed at Thorin.

"No… they are protecting me… its fine – they wont hurt you. I promise." Shobha stepped forward from behind Thorin, who had initially stood protectively in front of her. "We could use your help though… Balin…?"

"Aye lad. We are just merchants and healers travelling to see our kin in the Iron Hills, when we got lost in Mirkwood and attacked by beasts…" Balin smiled, speaking smoothly, a diplomat through and through.

The man took a step closer and looked at the woman carefully, and then at the rest of the group, finally setting his eyes on Thorin.

"I do not know what your business was with the elves – but I cannot help you…"

"No – No. Why? Why not?" Shobha asked.

"The lady you claim to protect, wears shackles marked with the seal of King Thranduil himself. I can not risk my livelihood or the lives of my family for you." He continued.

"But your barge, lad, perhaps we could hire it to get us to Laketown. We are able to pay…" Balin smiled again.

"None enter or leave Laketown without leave of the Master. And most of the income we earn is from trade with the Woodland elves. He is even less likely to agree to help." The man turned away and began to roll some barrels towards the barge.

Thorin grunted something in Khuzdul at Balin.

"I wager there are ways to get in and out of Laketown, unseen…"

"For that you would need a good smuggler."

"And we would pay double for the risk and time taken." Balin urged. "Those shoes look like they have seen better days – even that coat. You must have several bairns.."

The man stood and contemplated for a moment.

"What is it that you need from Laketown..?"

"Supplies, weapons, food and a place to rest for a night or two." Thorin grunted, standing in front of Shobha protectively again.

"And the woman – what business do you have with her?"

"She is… my bride." Thorin looked at her and held out his hand. She placed her hand in his without hesitation and smiled.

"A dwarf taking an Easterling bride – is unheard of."

"She is no Easterling." Dwalin stood tall to her other side, and crossed his arms menacingly in front of his chest. "She is my sister… adopted as a babe."

Thorin looked at his old friend, raising an eyebrow. Dwalin had spent much time teasing him recently about how he had been tamed by a female, and a woman no less. And yet there he was, claiming her as his own sister!

Balin too looked at his younger brother and smiled. Their mother had often wanted a girl to add to their family. She would have liked a beautiful daughter like Shobha, even if she didn't have a beard and would be considered far too tall and thin for a lass amongst their people.

"I'm sorry Master Dwarf, I mean no offence. You have a beautiful sister. And I wish your brother-in-law the very best." He bowed his head. "I am Bard."

"Ah! No harm done laddie," Balin smiled. "Let us discuss your payment…"

"Big brother eh…?" Thorin smiled at the large warrior, bemused. "Can you break these with your axe?"

"Aye – I can give it a go…" Dwalin grasped at the chains inspecting them carefully. "They're solid gold – so should be softer than other metals –"

"What if you cant sever these? I cant stay in them forever…" she asked.

Thorin looked at her sadly. She had ended up chained up like an animal because of him.

"I promise, Amralime… when we reclaim Erebor, I will employ one of the finest locksmiths to release you. Until then we can only break the chains at best."

She looked at him and nodded. Then looking at Dwalin, she held her arms out. He took her arms and stretched them across a rock, as Thorin moved to stand in front of her shielding her face.

"Is that necessary Baheluh? Having her face buried in your stomach like that?"

"She cannot protect her face from any shards." Thorin grunted back. "You're taking this big brother claim a bit too seriously aren't you?"

He looked at Dwalin and signed quietly.

Don't miss.

"Aye Thorin. In fact, I am expecting you to ask for our blessing with courting our little sister." Dwalin nodded at Thorin, silently acknowledging what he had signed.

She turned her head away and leant it on Thorin's muscular abdomen, as he gently wrapped his arms around her head, protectively, stroking her hair gently. There was a loud clang, followed by a second and a third, and then with a clatter, the chains fell away. She felt further tugging and soon all the chains, including the ones connecting her ankles, were removed.

"Is it done now…?" Shobha peeked from around Thorin, who slowly stepped away.

Dwalin collected the heavy gold chains together and then looked at Thorin, spotting that he had enjoyed holding her a bit too much and signed at their leader.

Protect her face eh? I'll be an elf maiden! More likely HER face needs protecting from YOUR snake!

Thorin tilted his head, scowling at his friend. Unfortunately Dwalin knew him all too well.

You can lie to me – but its clear what you were imagining her doing while she had her head there! Dwalin signed again.

Thorin watched, eyes wide as he followed his warrior's gaze down to his groin, where his body had betrayed his errant thoughts. He quickly pulled his doublet underneath together to cover himself and looked at her to see whether she had noticed. But it appeared she was busy inspecting her shackles now, and adjusting them for comfort, around her wrists.

"Thorin, have you any more coin?" Balin interrupted them with a whisper.

"What about my gold chains?" she asked, picking them up in her arms now. "They are very heavy… must be worth a bomb."

Dwalin took a couple of the attached chains from the pile.

"Let's keep some back eh, Princess?" Dwalin stashed the pieces in various pockets. "Just in case."

Thorin nodded.

"Alright big brother." She smiled at him, as he rubbed his head, the faintest blush beginning to spread on his cheeks.

"Well now it makes sense…" Thorin tilted his head looking from his One to the burly warrior, cocking an eyebrow. "I always wondered which of you and Balin inherited the family good looks. And now I see it was actually your little sister."

"Aye but we are much more charming than you good-lookin' lot!" Dwalin chuckled ribbing his friend. "Can't explain the Princess though – she's just lucky she has both looks and charm!"

"Aye. Notorious lady-killers you and Balin." Thorin rolled his eyes.

….

The day was closing in slowly, as they quietly drifted across the calm waters of the lake. Laketown was visible at last in the distance.

"That's pretty…" Shobha looked out across the water, leaning on the edge, snuggling into Thorin's coat.

"I wonder what Tauriel is doing now." Kili whispered, standing by her.

"Probably trying to figure out how to catch you." Shobha replied chuckling. "How is your knee?"

"Not good – but Oin can look at it properly when we get to Laketown."

She looked at the young Durin, who looked pale and clammy. He hid the pain well.

"Do you need to sit?"

"Nah. Standing is better.."

She looked at him as he gripped the rail hard, knuckled turning white. Fili who stood next to her looked across from his brother to her, worry weighing his handsome young features down. She bit her lip wondering where her bag was, there would have been something she packed in there that might help.

"Here, lean on me then brother. Take the weight off that knee.." Fili moved around quickly to allow him to throw his arm around his shoulder.

"I win the bet lads!" Nori called out at their group.

"What bet…?" She looked from Fili to Nori.

"He bet that Kili wouldn't even get a kiss from the elf maiden…" Fili rolled his eyes.

"Come on then, young prince. You bet ten pieces! Pay up." Nori rasped from close behind her suddenly making her jump.

"Woah! Its not over yet – she's following as we speak – didn't you see?" Fili rebuked.

"Aye, lad – to catch us all! We've made away with their King's prisoner." The dwarf with the ostentatious star-shaped hair do and braids looked at Shobha and smirked.

"Nope – just you wait… she will be at Kili's side before the night is up."

Nori, Fili and Kili both looked at her, jaws slack.

"I would bet twenty pieces for Kili – but then I already know, so I would be fleecing you all." Shobha winked and walked away softly towards where Bilbo stood silently watching Laketown in the distance.

"Bilbo," she gently interrupted his thoughts. "Did you manage to rescue my bag, by any chance?"

"Miss Shobha. Yes…" he looked down at a pile where a few items were collected. There sitting amidst them was her beloved spy-grade backpack given to her by her father.

"Thank you so much!" She hugged him.

"I take it you will have… um… spare bloomers packed in there."

She blushed, she hadnt even thought about that – but unless the elves had meddled in her things there were still two pairs of soft, but pretty bras and three pairs of clean knickers still left. She had never been a matching bra and knickers kind of girl – they were all fairly neutral shades and could be paired up or mixed and matched, but that much was enough co-ordination for her.

"Right, Master Dwarves, we will soon be at Laketown. So we need to get you all hidden." Bard explained looking at them all mentally keeping count. "And my house is being watched, so we need to find a way to sneak you in after that…"

"What do you suggest?" Thorin looked at him and then around his barge. There were not many places for them all to hide.

Bard looked around himself, and then slowly a smile came to his face.

"I might have a plan."

….

She stood shivering under the smelly cesspit below Bard's house, Thorin standing close behind her. They had been smuggled in the barrels, which had been filled with smelly fresh fish. Between the fishy and sewage smells, and her residual hangover she was ready to be sick.

"You have to climb through there. I will go and distract the guards while you do." Bard whispered before disappearing quickly.

"Och, the indignity." Dori complained.

"Quick. Up." Thorin groaned. He was no happier than the rest. "Dwalin, you first, then you can help our lady up."

Dwalin nodded and took Thorin's leg up to hoist himself through the opening.

Next Thorin lifted her up carefully so she could reach the wood ring, where she grabbed the edge. Her arms were too weak to pull herself up with and she hung there dangling in the air kicking her feet for a bit, thankful suddenly for the clumsily long dress she had on given that she was fully commando underneath. Luckily Dwalin caught her wrists and pulled her up before Thorin who stood beneath her could catch an eyeful.

She stepped out to be greeted by two girls staring at her shocked. The elder blond girl must have been around twelve, while the younger who stared at her inquisitively blinking, must have been closer to seven or eight.

"Who are you?" The little girl asked. "Sigrid, there is a dirty elf-lady crawling out of our toilet!"

"I'm not that dirty!" Shobha laughed. "But If you can find me some clean, warm, clothes to fit, I might grant you a wish…"

Bard's son had crowded in now for a better look.

"Da! Why are there dwarves climbing out of our toilet…?"

"Oh them!" Shobha looked over her shoulder watching as more dwarves climbed through. "They're good luck! It's all part of the package when you wish for a dirty elf-lady."

She squeezed past the group of children to look around in their house. And spotted Bard closing all the shutters.

"Mister Bard, we need somewhere for Kili to lie down… he's been injured."

Soon they were all in, and surrounded Kili, as Oin looked at his wounds. Shobha had rummaged through her pack to find a second medical kit packed in by her father.

"Aargh!" Kili wailed in pain. He was pale, and writhed in agony.

"It's a poinsoned Gundabad arrow."

She spotted the small grey case, like a posh cigarette case and opened it to find a series of labelled syringes. Morphine! She picked up one of the small pre-filled syringes and studied it. The dose was small, but suitable for administration without too much worry of side effects. She silently thanked her father, now grateful he worked for the MOD. And then it came back to her – Frodo was injured in the same way!

"Athelas! King's foil! We need the herb…"

Oin looked at her shocked.

"That's right lass – "

"I'm going now." Bofur nodded as he ducked through the door.

"I have something else. It will help with the pain." She pulled out the small syringe and looked at Kili and then Oin, who watched her carefully at first, and then nodded. "It needs to be jabbed into your muscle…"

"OoooW!" Kili yelped as she injected his other thigh without warning, where Oin had pulled his breeches down slightly.

"This is an outrage!" Thorin yelled in the background at Bard. "We have paid you good gold."

"Elven gold! Most likely stolen as well."

"Well it was hardly a decent way of being smuggled in."

"But you weren't caught were you?" Bard stood up from the table where he had apparently presented them with Home-made weapons.

"Our dwarflings could forge better weaponry than this!" Dwalin grumbled.

"Well, the only better weapons you will find here are in our armoury. Which is guarded."

"We have more coin and gold if you can get us those…" Thorin stood up angrily.

"Fine. But if you are caught by the Master, then it is on your head."

Thorin walked over to her, movements purposeful, and then he looked between Kili, Fili and her worriedly.

"Stay here, we didn't have time to collect all our weapons from the elf dungeons. We need more if we are to face a dragon –"

"Gandalf said not to go in without him." She grasped at his large hands pleadingly. This would only end badly now.

"I am only going to fetch weapons, Amralime." He softened slightly seeing her, brushing a hand across her cold cheek. He desperately wanted to kiss her, but they had lost time. He would need to talk to her before he left for the mountain. Not now. "I will be back. I promise."

He wrapped a strong arm around her waist and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Her head swam as she tasted him, and felt his beard against her skin, she realised that she was still not fully sober. However, before she could register anything further, he had left with Dwalin, Balin, Gloin and a few more dwarves.

She turned to find Fili, Oin, Bifur, Bombur and the three children staring at her with strange half smiles on their faces, as Kili now slept snoring heavily with the help of the morphine.

"I don't feel good about this…" she whispered clutching herself.

"I think that'll be that elvish wine lass." Oin gave her a knowing look.

"No… those orcs. They disappeared too easily."

"Oh no, my lady. They gave good chase down the river, I assure you. It's just you were quite…" Fili began to explain, but paused to find the more appropriate wording.

"Sloshed..? Addled…? Badgered…? Hoochied –" Bifur chuckled.

"Ok! I get it!" She covered her face. "So where are they now…?"

They were interrupted as Bofur burst through the door clutching a handful of herbs. He immediately slammed the door shut and threw himself against it, puffing heavily and looking around.

"Quick…. Lock ….the shutters and …. turn out the lights." He puffed as Oin rushed over to him to grab the Kingsfoil. "Here Oin… weapons… They're here…"

The older girl and boy rushed around locking the shutters and blowing out as many candles as they could, while Shobha rushed to the dining table where Bard had laid out a whole set of makeshift weapons. There was little of value there. Then she looked at the roaring fireplace.

"Quick boil as much water as you can…" she said to Sigrid, who nodded. "And pans. Get as as many pans deep in the coals as you can."

They could hear the commotion in the distance. Fili stood from beside his brother and drew his broad sword out.

"You. Tilda! Under the bed." She yelled. "And you two as well –"

"No! I am going to fight." Bain shouted back. "You're just some dirty elf lady! You're not my mother – you can't tell me what to do!"

"For fucks sake! I am not ready to deal with stroppy preteen-boy tantrums yet." She muttered before turning to him and speaking in her most firm voice – the one she reserved for unruly patients. "You have the most important task of protecting your sisters. Now take a couple of weapons and get under there and protect them!"

Suddenly convinced of his self importance, but still with half a sulk he took several weapons and followed Tilda under the bed where Kili lay.

Then they all stood almost holding their breath in anticipation.

First one of windows burst open as several ors attempted to get in only to have Bombur and Bifur smack them hard with two of Bombur's cast iron pans. More shutters were broken, as a dozen orcs flooded in, Fili and Bofur joining the fight.

Suddenly some of the rafters broke open as a large, smelly orc landed on Kili's bed. He hoisted a dagger high up ready to kill the prince, and Shobha grasped a hot pan from the fire holding the handle in her skirts and swung it firmly onto his face. The hot pan hissed against the creatures skin as it screamed and jumped out through the window.

Several orcs had started pulling the children out from under the bed, despite Bain jabbing them with many makeshift spears, when Kili suddenly woke and kicked a couple hard sending them hurtling away. Fili had moved over now fighting them off with scary efficiency, as only a trained Durin would. Black orc blood splattered in various directions as the girls screamed. More orcs closed in and Shobha rushed to the fire place again pulling out more pans from the hot coals hitting several more orcs very hard, their burning skin emitting a foul fishy odour.

Then several slender, but deadly arrows cut through, and within moments most of the remaining orcs lay dead on the floor. The elves had arrived.

Legolas peered through the door, happy that they had dispatched any remaining and disappeared, when Tauriel stepped through the door and moved towards them. She looked angry at first and then saw Kili sleeping in the bed, face pale, and stepped towards him.

"Please – you can help… its that poison…" she looked up at the elleth. "Bofur even found the Kingsfoil…"

The red haired captain of the guard looked at her, gauging her with her bright emerald eyes, and then turned towards the young dwarf.

"Give me that." She held her hand out to Oin, who handed over the herb without hesitation. As she tore it up in her hands and placed in in his wound.

"What are you going to do my lady?" The dwarf miner asked, his usual cheery disposition was replaced with worry, and he had taken his strange wiggly trapper hat off leaving very dishevelled hair underneath.

"I am going to save him." She placed her hands over his wounds and began to chant a spell in Sindarin.

Kili opened his eyes, hearing the gentle voice.

"I know that voice…" he whispered. "But you can not be her… she is the beautiful lady that walks in the starlight… do you think, perhaps, that she could love me..?"

She stood above him hands over his open knee, a glowing halo of golden light surrounding her face, her soft pale skin, flawless and shimmering. And those spritely, bright green eyes smiling down at him, the soft smile on her lips reaching up to the corners of her eyes. He could feel the pain and poison being drawn from his body, as he returned, slowly, back to life.

"You dropped this." She replied to him softly placing the rune stone talisman he had been given by his mother back in his hand. Her cool long fingers grazed his hot palm and she blushed.

"Please keep it." He pressed it back into her hands and closed her fingers around it as though it were his own heart. "And perhaps one day you will return back to me…"

She brushed his cheek gently with her hand, as he leant into her touch, and then suddenly standing up, walked out.

Shobha rushed after her.

"Wait we need help!"

"Legolas hunts Bolg… he came for me. And now I must stand with him." She tossed the words over her shoulder almost as she strode away fast, and silently. "Be careful – our King will eventually come back for you."

….

A few hours later, Dwalin had returned with Gloin and Dori. To collect them all and take them to an Inn nearby. The Master had agreed to help the dwarves for a share of the wealth, and had arranged for comfortable rooms for them along with a feast in the Master's own grand home.

Kili was much better now, but still needed time to heal and rest. He would not be in a position to fight for a few days still.

Eventually they had all made their way to the Inn, where the old keeper had bustled about finding them each rooms to make them comfortable. There were serving maids fussing over some of the dwarves, including Nori and Bofur who appeared to be thrilled!

"Can you find clean clothes for my lady? And draw up a bath for her please." A deep voice rumbled from behind her as she stepped into her room to look around. She spun around to find Thorin standing behind her watching intently. It made her shiver, as she realised this would potentially be the last night they might have the chance to spend together for a while. She needed to remain in Laketown if she wanted to save the people from the dragon and eventually kill it. And deep down inside her head she could hear the voices of Aulë and Yavanna. They would be expected to have sex tonight. Unprotected sex, with the intent of procreating! Suddenly her stomach filled with butterflies, and her heart beat out of her chest. She would need to talk to Thorin first. He needed to know, after all he would have to make a significant contribution!

"You are lost in thought my lady?" He stood right behind her now, almost touching. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, and his voice, as rich as velvet, did things to her insides, and she didn't need that distraction. He moved around to stand in front of her, his eyes greedily watching her face, moving from her big chocolate eyes, down to her full lips and fighting to stay away from glancing at her tightly laced up bodice, where her breasts were pushed up, ready to spill over. "Perhaps you need a warm bath to relax and refresh you. We have been invited to the Master's halls for a feast this evening."

"I need to talk to you Thorin," she began, fighting to control her breathing. The bodice was laced up far too tightly. She couldn't help but think that was the reason all the elf women she had spotted appeared to stand quite still or move quite languidly – for if they were all laced up like this, surely even the slightest movement would render them breathless!

"And I you, Amralime." He smiled softly at her, as though he finally had her where he wanted. "I have to do something, that I should have done a long time ago…"

Her heart fluttered, and her breath quickened again. Did he mean sleeping with her? The dress felt like a tightening python around her once more. And he could no longer focus to keep his eyes away from her soft, heaving peaks. A few more firm breaths and her tips would surely escape her top.

"Bloody tight dress! I wish you could just tear it off me – before I have a wardrobe malfunction!" She clutched at her torso underneath his large coat, which she still wore.

Those were the words he had been dreaming she would say to him, and between their proximity, as well as the euphoria of knowing he was so close to achieving their quest, he could no longer control himself. He would make her his Queen anyway. He lunged at her, crushing her lips with his, while his large hands hotly slid under his coat feeling the open back of her dress revealing her soft skin and the thin laces that had somehow managed to squeeze her bosom, in the way that he wanted to. She pressed herself to him, unreservedly, her hands finding their way into his hair as he ripped the laces behind her loosening the dress. He grasped her roughly, pressing her body to his, letting her feel his arousal, moving to place kisses down her jaw and down to the soft skin of the tops of her breasts. The woman was moaning softly under his ministrations, it made his male ego swell with pride that he had this effect on her, and the power of knowing a few correctly placed yanks of her dress would leave her fully bare before him was intoxicating.

"Ah! Wait Thorin… I had a dream…" she panted, desperately attempting to focus enough to get the words out.

"I have dreamed of doing these things to you too Amralime…" he growled nipping at the tops of her breasts now.

"No… mmmm…. Aulë and Yav…. Vanna… Ah Thorin! Mahal spoke to me… you need to know –"

His own self control was hanging by a mere thread, that had begun to fray badly. He looked at her, his eyes dilated with lust, her words were taking time to register in his clouded mind, and she lay limp in his arms. Her own eyes were closed and lips drawn apart in a silent 'oh'. He could only think of burying himself deep inside her. Of feeling her ankles on his shoulders as he pounded into her –

The door to her room swung open suddenly, and the old Inn keeper and his wife rushed in carrying buckets of hot water to fill the copper tub that lay in her room. They were followed by Dwalin and Balin. The former stood there, sniggering, his arms crossed in front of his chest, while Balin held out a parchment.

"Think you need to clean up, Baheluh. Then you can present the Princess with your Zarb, before you do this…" Dwalin concluded, as Shobha quickly stepped away and pulled his coat together blushing and flustered. "And here, the Master has gifted you several dresses, Princess. We thought these would fit best."

Another woman walked in and set some dresses down on the bed.

"Come now laddie, let the lass get cleaned up. We too have to make ourselves a little more presentable to join the Master in a few hours time." Balin added ushering Thorin out, as he looked back at her helplessly.

"And I will come and collect ya, Princess. Or our King will never make it to the Masters feast."

….

The Master had put on a small feast, and even Kili had hobbled along to eat, with the intent of returning as soon as food was served, so he might rest. She had received unwanted attention by many of the Laketown folk, including the Master and his second in command, Alfrid, who was a rather slippery character. Thorin, Dwalin and Fili, had been very instrumental in looking suitably menacing enough company to ward them off from time to time, but Alfrid persistently continued to circle her in a most unhealthy manner.

All the town had been present, and while it was not a lavish feast in the way that most others would have expected, it was the best they could do. Since the fall of Erebor, the surrounding settlements that had otherwise been traditional trading posts, had been long abandoned, with only the poorest and those unable to migrate to better parts that had been left to carry on. Their way of life had become more simple, living off the land, hunting and fishing for the better days, with whatever trade they could get from the elves, who had been very insular and in any case only interacted with the people out of sheer need alone. The possibility and promise of better days to come, offered by Thorin, had been most welcome. And they would send the dwarves off with a hero's parting, to their best ability, and their best wishes for hopes of success.

Shobha looked around the hall where the many poor people and their families sat eating together. It upset her that these people would be subject to dragon fire and then stand in he path of the large orc army that would be sent to end the line of Durin. She needed a plan, and some help.

"I apologise for my forwardness earlier," Thorin spoke matter of factly, standing by her after the feast had finished, as many other people continued to talk amongst themselves. "Balin is correct. There are certain things I must do first."

"Actually about that Thorin, I have seen dreams. Messages from the Valar, and we need to talk about it. Urgently tonight." She looked at him nervously. It would not be an easy conversation.

"And I have given much thought to the journey ahead also. Amralime, I do not think you should come to the mountain until we have rid it of the dragon." He had been plagued by thoughts of the dream he had where the dragon had stolen his One. "Let us make our excuses then, and return back to the Inn… but I need to collect Fili and Kili first."

"And I need to pop to the loo." Shobha said looking around. She had consumed more water and wine than she would have liked.

"I will accompany you-"

"No! Please…" there was no way she could pee comfortably knowing Thorin waited for her outside.

"It is not safe. I see how these men look at you. Even the Master!"

"Please I won't have you come to the loo with me Thorin."

He looked around and called for a serving woman.

"Here, please accompany my bride to the rest rooms and then kindly return her back quickly." Thorin said giving her a silver coin. "On your return, there will be a gold coin in payment."

She quickly nodded and ushered Shobha along. The Masters Halls were full of corridors, all dimly lit, and many doors. It would have been easy to get lost. As they turned another corridor, they were halted by the dark haired henchman to the Master, Alfrid.

"This way please… the Master would like an audience with you."

"My Lord, the Dwarf King, asks otherwise –"

"These are not his halls!"

"Ok, wait, I need to collect something, and I will meet you both back here." She backed away slowly, only to find another large, doughy body behind her.

"If it's the rest rooms you look for… perhaps you can use my own ones. They are far more comfortable…" it was the Master himself. He smirked at her as he grasped one wrist by the thick gold band left from the shackles. "After all you wouldn't want the Elven King to know you were here now would you? He will certainly want his courtesan returned to him…"

They each grasped a wrist and began to pull her into a large room, Alfrid quickly locking the door behind. As they let her go she dashed across to the further end of the room.

"Why so frightened little one. We won't hurt you… we have heard of your kind. Traded for their beauty. Sought after at any price for pleasure." The Master began to step towards her, licking his lips, like a predator, stalking its prey. "I am certain the King will not begrudge us a little taste…"

"Um…" She tried to think on her feet and clutched the front of her dress. Suddenly felt the little phial of the chloroform-like drug from the elves tucked in her cleavage. She had not had time to put it away in her bag before getting dressed after her bath, so she had stashed it back in the only place she could. She suddenly adjusted her demeanour and began to step towards them with her best 'come hither' smile, hoping they were too drunk to notice that she actually had no such feminine wiles. "There is a particular trick that you might both enjoy… but then I am uncertain whether you as menfolk would be able to cope with the stimulation…"

"Men are quite capable lovers, my dear. If the Elves like it, then I will have you provide the same service for us." Alfrid was the first to speak up now. He was practically salivating.

She looked at them both trying hard to suppress the nausea building inside her. She would need to make it a hard sell in order to get them to believe it was not a trick.

"I don't know. Elves last a long time… and they are very sensual lovers…they give as much as they get…"

"You heard Alfrid, woman! I will have you serve us in the same manner wench!"

"Ok! First pour a drop of wine into a glass each my lords." She smiled as she jiggled herself reaching inbetween her breasts to pull out a small phial. "This makes your phallus hard, and long – impossibly so. And allows you to climax many times over before you finish."

And then she pulled the little bottle back away from them, much to Alfrid's anger, as the Master had already begun to pour out the wine from a small carafe that stood on a side table.

"I don't know, whether you can handle this. Do either of you have any ailments or conditions?"

"No! We are both as fit as fiddles!" The Master sauntered over now with two small glasses of wine.

"Ok… but you must drink it all up in one go. Otherwise the effects will not take place…"

"Come on! Stop teasing us…" Alfrid pushed the glasses towards her with one hand and tried to the snatch the phial with his other.

"Uh! Uh!" She waggled her finger at him. "I do it. That is how the Elf King likes it – that is how it happens."

Then she tipped half the phial into each glass, and pushed the glasses to each of their faces.

"All in one! Down the hatch!"

They eagerly watched her, and drained their glasses down fully in one go. And within moments there were two thuds, as their limp bodies hit the plushly carpeted floor.

Then there were several loud knocks on the door.

"Jeez! Who now…"

"My Lady!"

It was Fili and Kili!

"Open up or I will break this door down!" Fili shouted.

"Hold on! I'm coming!" She stepped over the unconscious bodies and opened the door to find Fili, Kili and Bilbo standing there each with their weapons drawn.

"Are you alright?" They rushed in looking around. "We bumped into the woman who was meant to accompany you, who was on her way to tell Uncle…"

"And we thought there wouldn't be enough time –" Bilbo looked down at the two men.

"Well! I thought I was almost done for there too!" She bent down to feel their pulses, just in case. She didn't need to be held accountable for the deaths of the leaders of Laketown.

"Come on- Uncle will kill them himself if we take any longer." Fili said, trying to usher her out.

"Hang on! It would be a shame to waste this opportunity…" She looked at the Princes and winked. "But I would need your help…"

….

Thorin and Dwalin, rushed along the corridor, following the serving woman he had sent to accompany his One, after hearing about the Master and Alfrid. He just prayed he wasn't too late.

As they rounded the corner, they heard several voices, and her – giggling!

They dashed in to find Fili and Kili arranging a completely naked and apparently unconscious, Master and his henchman Alfrid, in a most compromising position on the large four-poster bed that stood in the middle of the room. She stood to one side directing them like an artist making final amendments to a painting, while the halfling stood beside her laughing uncontrollably!

The four of them froze suddenly, when the two older warriors walked in through the door to witness the whole scene, as if they had been caught doing something very naughty.

Indeed it was highly reminiscent of the antics the Princes would be involved with, when they were growing up in the Blue Mountains. Except it was clear that she was the mastermind of this particular mischief, although Thorin was fully aware that these two men certainly deserved this!

"Out! All of you!" Thorin spoke sternly. He wanted to laugh – but she just as easily could have been harmed. He turned to her next. "And YOU! Next time I will accompany you, even if I have to watch you myself."

"Aye! You'd like that wouldn't cha – ya dirty bugger!" Dwalin ribbed, chuckling at the scene. He would have paid his share of Thror's treasure to be a fly on the wall when these two lecherous men had woken up to each other in the morning!

The two princes left the room sulking, followed by Shobha and the halfling ,who were still stifling their giggles. Thorin hesitated for a moment, thinking.

"You aren't going to put them back are ya?" Dwalin scowled.

Then he finally found what he was looking for, and walked over to the Master's desk, where he took a piece of parchment, dipped the quill that lay on the desk in the half used ink well, and began to write a quick note:

Dare to even LOOK at my Bride again,

and I will sever your manhood off!

And then, feed the rest of you to Smaug myself.

Consider yourself lucky today.

T.

Then taking the note he pinned it using the Master's own dagger to the bedhead, hard. There would be no way that the scum would be able to pull it out himself.

Then nodding at Dwalin, who now wore a half smirk, Thorin walked out.

...

Dear All,

Thank you for following so far - wishing you a Happy New Year! xx

Please, please comment, review fave/follow xx

And MaggYme - hope you enjoy that last bit drugging Alfrid and the Master :) Happy New Year xx