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Mind fucked! Did anyone else see kittehkin's review? That's the longest review I have EVER seen! It was very sweet and there was some criticism in there, which I like and accept with no grudges whatsoever. But I just couldn't get over how fucking LONG it was! And I noticed some of you silent readers came out and reviewed. So that was sweet. Thank you very much. :-)
I don't know if I've mentioned this enough but I do appreciate how many of you are following this story and how quickly you review and how nicely you review, also. It really inspires me to continue writing and I do hope to publish someday, as a couple of you have mentioned. It amazes me how many people are following this and whenever I talk with my BETA, she tells me that she speaks to several people that like this story. I don't really know just how popular it is but just as long as you guys continue to enjoy it, that's all that matters. By the way, thank GOD for my two BETAs or else this story would be incredibly hard to read.
The reason I'm mostly babbling is because someone wrote in their review that they actually missed my A/N. When someone writes in this section in a story, it actually bothers me so I tried to keep it plain and simple and just simple need-to-know information but I'm happy you guys like it. It's just annoying when obviously some twelve year old fangirl writes: "ZOMG I cn't believe tht soooo many ppl lyked mah stori! Ohmahgawddd! Lyk, ty so much. U guys are da bomb! Hehe!"
...
Anyway! Here's Chapter 25.
Mm. I swung my leg from one corner of my bed to the other, feeling the cotton practically caress me with every inch.
Today was good already. Far better than most days because for once, I didn't have a nightmare about him. Finally, after a week, I didn't wake up screaming with sweat sticking on my body only to have Angela push me back down onto the bed and hand me some water.
The first two nights, Charlie would have to come into my room after I awoke screeching and lie next to me awkwardly, hesitantly stroking my arm and struggling to find the right words. The third night, as Charlie and I sat down for dinner, Angela came in through the side door with an overnight bag draped over her shoulder and I watched the two share a knowing gaze before she dropped her bag and started to rant about something, heading off towards the kitchen. Stress seemed to roll off my father like a waterfall as if it had never ever existed before she could barely pile some food onto her plate.
I opened my eyes, squinting and then groaned and shut them, rolling over when I met the blinding rays of the sun streaking through my window. Hanging off the side of my bed, my hair cascading partially over my face, I glanced up to see a girl standing in the corner of my room, getting dressed. She had on jeans and those awful, hideous Ugg boots that were so fucking popular and she was just putting on her bra, her bare back to me.
After blinking rapidly several times without getting some sufficient progress done, I just sat up, putting a raised hand by my face to block the sun and squinted almost painfully to look at her.
"Angela? Is that you?"
She turned, wearing her favorite push-up bra that had a leopard print across the front. "Hey, Bells. You don't have to get up yet. It's actually kind of early. I couldn't sleep."
"You weren't—"
"Yeah, I snuck over in the middle of the night. Charlie came by your room a couple hours after you had fallen asleep and heard you twisting and turning and maybe some whining in your sleep so he called me."
"But I—"
"Oh and he needed some help with the birthday surprise we have for you today," she finished with a bright smile before she threw on a white v-neck, pulling it down self-consciously past the rim of her jeans.
"What's the surprise?"
"I think it's cute, Bells. But I know you're going to think its lame."
"Is it what he did for my sixteenth? Those signs you put in the front yard?"
"I didn't say anything."
"Then that's a confirmation."
"Whatever you say, babe. Anyway, we need to have you lookin' hot today, girl."
"No, no. Please," I groaned and fell back against my bed then moaned once more when the fucking sun hit my eyes again. I grabbed my favorite pillow out from underneath me and placed it over my face, sighing heavily.
"I know, I know. It's the worst day of the year," Angela retorted, her tone dripping with sarcasm. I heard her boots across the floor and hoped she wasn't going to jump on me or anything this fucking early. "Everyone says you look good even if they're lying and smile at you and give you gifts and pretty much make you the star of the room. Yes, this may very well be the end of the world."
Suddenly, I felt a heavy weight on my lower abdomen and some muscles squeeze tightly on my thighs. Curious, I lifted my pillow slightly and found Angela sitting on top of me, brushing her damp hair. She stuck her tongue out at me.
"I thought about this. You actually have to get up now so I can make you look like sex on legs."
"No."
"I will shake it."
"No, Angela!"
"Ugh. Fine," she sighed as if I had just dampened her ability to do anything well in her life and felt her weight press heavily on my crotch. Suddenly, just when I was thinking of the nicest way to throw her off of me, the pillow was snatched off of my face and I felt a rain of water droplets splash against it.
"Okay! Okay!" I said hurriedly, watching Angela shake her head like a dog to get it all over me.
"Stop!" I ended with a laugh and finally, she ceased her movements just to flip her head back, letting her hair fall into place.
"You'll get up?"
"Yes, damn it."
"Don't give me any attitude," she finished before moving off me and walking over to my mirror, pursing her lips for a touch of lip gloss. "So, what is Alice into?"
I swung my legs off the side of my bed and hung my head, resting my eyes for a moment, trying to gain enough energy to look at my phone where hopefully my girlfriend had texted me.
That's right. My girlfriend. My hot, beautiful, intelligent, quirky, funny girlfriend. Damn. I'm one lucky bitch.
"Like sex wise? I don't know. We haven't really talked about it." I raised my head and ran my hands through my messy hair as I got to my feet to walk over to my computer desk.
She threw a glance at me in the mirror, narrowing her eyes. "You two haven't done anything?"
"No, we haven't," I replied and plopped down into my chair tiredly, grabbing my phone and unplugging it from the wall. "We have kissed a couple times and we only made out hardcore I guess once but I don't really remember it that well, ya know?"
"I'm surprised you guys haven't jumped each other yet. You look like a bitch in heat whenever she's around."
"Hey!"
She threw her hands up and shrugged, meeting my gaze in the mirror. "Hey, she's hot. I don't blame you. But maybe you two should just fuck each other and get rid of all this tension."
I unlocked my phone and saw that I had a couple messages so I clicked on the icon and waited patiently for all of them to load. "I think she and I would prefer not just to 'fuck', Angela. We may want to make love instead. I fucked with Hayden and that was nothing substantial."
My messages finished loading and I saw Hayden's name at the top of the list. Oh, shit. I've avoided him and his text messages ever since the game but you can't really ignore a birthday message can you? Scrolling down, Alice's name did appear and I smiled widely, almost on the verge of giggling. Let me save hers for last so I can appreciate it more.
Sighing, I went to Hayden's.
Happy birthday, Bells. I hope everything is okay with you. I have a present for you. Hope I see you some time today.
Damn. I'd have to see him, wouldn't I?
"Can you hurry up and drool over your girlfriend's text already? I need you to hop in the shower quickly so I can work on your hair, babe," Angela said after I heard a drop of what I was assuming was the mascara.
I looked up after clicking on Alice's message, avoiding all the others which were just Facebook notifications of people writing on my wall, wishing me a happy birthday. "What? What're you doing to my hair?"
"I was thinking about curling it, actually. Straight is just too boring. I'm picturing Alice as a curly hair kind of girl."
"Yeah?" I leaned forward in my seat, grabbing a half-full water bottle from the edge of the desk. "Maybe we'll try it, I guess. It's kind of chilly to wear shorts, skirt or a dress so I'll have to wear jeans."
"Or leggings?"
I didn't even feel the need to express to Angela just how ludicrous and frankly dumb that comment was and felt the look in my eyes towards her would suffice and after a moment, she raised her eyebrows, shrugged and turned away. "I'm going to go downstairs and make some breakfast. Your ass better in the shower in the next five minutes, girl."
"Yes, Your Majesty. Right away," I answered sarcastically and seconds later, glanced over my shoulder to see her head cocked and a teasing smile on her lips.
"Damn right. You better stick to that nickname," she added before closing the door behind her.
The silence in the room seemed eerie and almost ghostlike once Angela was out of the room and I could feel what seemed to be the start of a panic attack at her absence, for fear that the memories would come flooding back. She never left me alone the past few days. Even while I was showering, she would sit outside of the curtain on top of the toilet seat, doing her nails or reading a magazine. Embarrassingly, whenever she did leave me for too long, I became almost frightened and delirious with worry.
She didn't leave me for school, either. We had missed a week of school because it was clear that I wouldn't be able to handle all of the people there, squishing and bumping against me and especially the gossip. Charlie handled the entire make up work, though and came home with not only police reports for the day but also my growing work from school.
I was extremely antsy to get to school because I had only seen Alice every now and then after school and maybe during lunch time when Charlie was gone and Angela would give us some time alone. We hadn't done much but maybe cuddle on the couch and talk or play stupid games. She had kissed me on my neck two days after the incident in the kitchen just as I was getting something out of the fridge and sadly, I had freaked out, remembering Edward and dropped the juice carton, spilling it all over the floor. After that, her kisses and intimate touches have been hesitant and timid, which was both frustrating and also easier. I wanted to give myself over to her physically but it feltlike my body had been engraved with how Edward had touched me and if anyone even came close to replicating his movements on my skin, I erupted.
Morning, honey. :) Happy birthday. I can't wait to see you today. I miss you.
It was kind of lame to any outsiders that witnessed how big my smile was from the text but honestly? Fuck 'em. I had always been the one to laugh obnoxiously during the cheesy, chick films where the guy is professing his love for the girl, ranting on about his feelings and the way his heart beats funny and the way his skin tingles but right now, I could understand where that pathetic, love-chump was coming from finally.
After I had showered and gotten dressed with Angela's guidance, I asked her not to curl my hair and instead, she helped me with some gel I bought a while ago that is supposed to help with curls when you let it air dry. I had done it once and it had worked fairly well but since Angela spent maybe ten minutes scrunching my hair and tweaking it to perfection, I was sure it was going to turn out fine.
Most of my cuts and bruises had healed up substantially but there were some fading ones still so she spent a couple minutes using her foundation and smoothing out the areas to cover them up.
"Hey! Happy birthday!" Charlie said happily before I could even get to the bottom of the stairs.
His smile slowly shortened and eventually left his face and was instead replaced with almost admiration and love as his eyes moved over me. "You're beautiful, Bells."
Whoa. Family moment with Charlie? This was new.
"Thanks."
"You should do it more often, huh?"
"Get dressed up? No, I don't think so. Besides, I didn't really have a choice today. I think Angela would've resorted to tying me up to do this."
I heard her laugh softly behind me as she moved around the kitchen getting her usual Reese's Puffs cereal with a glass of milk. It was weird that she had a glass of milk with it when there was milk in her cereal bowl but when I asked her about it years ago, she explained that the cereal made it taste funny so she had to have a separate glass. I didn't really believe that it made it taste different so I just shrugged and pretended to understand her methods.
"Uh, Bella," Charlie started next to me. I stiffened instantly. I knew that tone. I really didn't want to talk about Edward today. Not today, please.
"What is it?"
"Do you want to hear what he's been sentenced to?"
Not really. I had thought about it and assumed that he wouldn't get death row even though I really, desperately wanted him to. He didn't actually fully rape me nor beat me to the point of near death so there wasn't enough to put him in the chair and meet the needle that I frantically wished him to. I had a feeling that he would be in prison for years and then get released, able to rape and hurt another woman that he felt the desire to. Perhaps, he would even come after me again.
"No. I don't." I would just remember how long his sentence would be and count down the days, then spend every day after that important date terrified and on edge, practically hysterical. I could continue to live on in my dream world, imagining that needle sliding into his arm over and over again.
"But, babe—" Angela started behind me.
"Look!" I almost screeched. I paused to control my breath and closed my eyes momentarily. "I gave my statement to the police; I have given everything to them. My part is done. I don't want to hear about him anymore, okay?" I paused. "I just want him out of my life," I muttered.
"Okay," Charlie answered meekly next to me. I saw him look over at Angela out of the corner of my eye. "Do you think you'll be able to go today?" He said in a hushed whisper, even though I knew Angela wouldn't care if she heard it.
Yes. I need to go. I needed to see my girlfriend for longer than just a half hour.
"I'll be fine," I said and then looked up to meet his eyes, giving a reassuring glance and then patted him on the arm before grabbing my toast. "Angela, do you want to get to school early and head to the library to work? I didn't finish all of my make-up work just yet."
"Yeah, sure."
"Bella—" Charlie started to say as his fingers wrapped around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. I saw Angela stop and wait patiently at the door, her hand around the knob. "If you need anything…please just call—"
"Dad," I said quietly, twisting my wrist to loosen his grip and instead, intertwined my hand with his.
"Don't worry. I can do this."
His eyes fell to our hands and after a silent moment, his chest lifted to intake a huge breath and his lips tightened, then he nodded. "Okay," he said quietly, almost to the point that I couldn't hear him.
Where are you?
My fingers flew over the keyboard on my phone as if that could make her get here faster.
In the library, far corner near the biographies. Hurry?
Angela and Eric were sitting next to each other several feet away at their own table, sharing an iPod headset. At the present moment, he was mocking her taste in a song and she was sticking her tongue out at him then proceeded to bop her head embarrassingly to the music. I watched his eyes widen and then he pretended to look around, horrified. She playfully slapped his arm before she leaned in and kissed him sweetly.
My heart ached at the sight. Alice and I couldn't do that for months. We had to control our desires and affection for one another until we were behind closed doors or hidden in the shadows, unable to exhibit to the world that we were basking in the greatest feeling that any human being could kindle: love.
I had an idea that what I felt for her was close to love, if not it. But it was far too early into our relationship to even think about the possibility, much less utter those three words to her. I knew that she felt strongly for me but was it that strong?
Glancing up from my History book, I saw her finally walk in, dressed in black slacks, a white silk blouse, accompanied by a couple long necklaces and a knee-length black trench coat. Her eyes didn't search the library like I assumed they would and instead, she went straight for the desk where Ms. Brennan was seated. They shared a few words and I watched Alice tuck some hair beneath her ear as she laughed at something the woman said and then, she leaned in closer and I assumed, was asking her something. Ms. Brennan nodded enthusiastically and rose from her seat, disappearing into the break room the librarians had all to themselves.
Alice looked at the computer desktops lined up near the woman's desk, seemingly browsing for the only intention to pass time and after a moment; she turned slightly and continued to scan the library with little interest. Our eyes met across the library and I watched the corner of her lips turn upward into a satisfied, small smile, escorted with a playful wink.
Ms. Brennan returned with a stack of papers with a post-it note on top and that's when Alice raised a hand to wave at me. What was she doing? Wasn't that obvious? Paranoia seized my throat and although I thought it wasn't secure enough to do it, I raised a limp hand and waved, adding a nod to acknowledge her.
Our gaze broke for her to turn to the librarian once more; she flipped through the papers quickly, nodding and then laughed a final time before twirling in my direction to walk.
I thought she was going to sneak or something? Ms. Brennan is watching! Has she lost her mind?
Alice slid into the chair next to me with an amused expression. She sat on the long side of the table while I sat at the short side.
"Hey, honey." She set her papers down on the table, removing the post-it note and crumpled it up, sliding it into the pocket of her coat before she leaned slightly towards me to look at my book.
"You look absolutely mesmerizing today. You have no idea how hard it is not to kiss you right now."
"What are you doing? What if someone hears you?"
She returned to her upright, straight position and then chuckled softly, pulling out her cell phone and then looked at me from beneath her long eyelashes. "When I was near the desk, I looked around the library like I was bored and then happened to see one of my favorite students. Also at that time, I was looking around you to see if there were, in fact, any teachers or supervisors around to hear me. There aren't so now, I'm sitting here with you for just a couple of minutes before I head back to my classroom to get ready for today's assignment. So, Bella," she paused, playing with her cell phone for a couple of seconds and bit her lip in the process.
Throb. Even with the recent mishap and bump that might slow down my sexual feelings towards anyone, my body seemed to be on high alert, aching and throbbing for her. How hard was Math going to be today, knowing that she was mine?
"Please stop worrying and let me enjoy this time with you," she finished, laying her cell phone on the table. "This whole last week that you've been gone, I've been watching how some of the teachers interact with their students and I think I have a pretty good idea of what is and isn't acceptable or suspicious under the eyes of others. I believe I'll do a very good job holding myself back but I don't know about you." She looked at me with an amused expression and when I glared, mockingly annoyed with her, she shrugged and then smiled.
Gah. So damn beautiful.
"Is there anything I can do to make you stay here longer?" I asked quietly, twirling my pencil in between my two fingers.
She paused, her eyes boring into mine and I knew that this was killing her. It was killing her that she couldn't hold me right now because it wasn't politically or lawfully correct. It was hurting her that she couldn't kiss me with passion right now because her 'loving' brother Edward has momentarily derailed me. Most of all, she was disconcerted because the remorse and torn responsibility she constantly felt rivaled against her sentiments for me.
"Do you understand the homework you're doing, honey?"
"Yeah. It's easy."
Her eyebrows furrowed together in an expression of want. "Pretend you don't?" She giggled sheepishly and I understood, placing the pencil behind my ear as I scoot my seat closer, angling the book so that both of us could read it.
Her scent floated towards me, my body becoming rigid with want, obvious on the outside with goose bumps, my hair standing on end on my arms. "Have I ever mentioned that I love the way you smell?"
"No," she replied sweetly, leaning over the book to grab my notebook. "But that's—Okay, so number four, Bella?"
Huh?
I turned my head to look at her and saw out of my peripherals the P.E. teacher that I had seen flirting with Alice so many times before walking into the library. He was a good couple feet away from us, but close enough to be able to hear our conversation.
I had to clear my throat and take a second to pull my head out of the lazy, relaxed state that Alice had put me in. "Um, yeah. I-I can't seem to find it."
"Okay," she muttered, flipping the pages, her eyes scanning the headlines of each section and even biting on her lip at some points. I kept my eye on the man as he gave some papers to Ms. Brennan and as he turned, I saw his gaze catch Alice's back and I recognized that expression. He was trying to figure out who she was and a second later, acknowledgment spread across it, then he came barreling towards us like a torpedo, determined to hit his target.
Fuck my life.
I cleared my throat and leaned back in my seat, grabbing another random book off my pile, hoping that I could appear uninterested in this conversation that probably would be catastrophic.
"Hey, Alice!" He said loudly, earning a couple glances from people around us, even Eric several feet away.
I watched my girlfriend jump from the interruption and I couldn't hold back the tiny giggle that flowed from my lips as her eyes widened and she turned to look up at him.
"Oh, hey! I haven't seen you in a while. How…are you?" She slowed her speech as he almost too enthusiastically leaned down to wrap his arms around her at an awkward angle.
Mm. Motherfucker better watch where he puts his hands. I kept my eyes a good inch above the rim of my book, watching them intently but if I needed to, in an instant, I could look at the unimportant words in front of me and just like that, become a completely insignificant bystander.
Except I wasn't a fucking bystander. I was her damn girlfriend, watching her get pathetically flirted with.
"I'm great. What're you doing in here?"
I lowered my eyes just in time to avoid his, moving questionably and more or less rudely over me.
Um. Ruuuude. Just because I slacked off and refused to do your stupid laps around the gym doesn't mean you can be an asshole and flirt with my girlfriend.
Alice responded coolly, "Well, I came in here to pick up some papers from Ms. Brennan I needed copied and saw one of my students, Bella," she outstretched a gentle hand in my direction to which I gave a curt nod to him. "She needed some help with her History. I'm having trouble, though. Do you remember it being this difficult when you were in high school?" She giggled and flipped another page in my book.
"High school was rough for me, Alice. I barely got by on my grades and focused mostly on sports," he said, pulling up an empty chair and sitting next to her.
Mm. Sooo you're a dumbfuck and apparently that whole sports thing didn't work because now you're working as a high school teacher, not in the fucking NFL. Suck it, loser!
"Really? That's interesting," Alice replied and from her tone, I knew that she really didn't care and just wanted him gone. Like me! So get!
"Look, I have something I wanted to ask you. Could you…?" He laid a large hand on her shoulder and then showcased the other one to an empty aisle of books.
Oh hell no! Hell to the fucking no!
"Oh, uh, yeah sure. Bella," she looked at me and although I tried to reduce the seething lividness in my eyes for her, I could tell by her reaction that it hadn't been successful. "Why don't you bring that to class and I can help you some more with it, okay?"
"Yeah. Sure. No problem."
She paused, giving me a look and I took her reassuring gaze in mine, unfortunately, it did nothing for me. Especially when I heard approaching footsteps from behind me. Who the hell wanted to bother me now? I swear it was fucking Jessica.
"Hey, Bella," Hayden's voice floated towards me. Since he was behind me, I let my eyes roll back in annoyance and then turned my attention completely away from my disappearing girlfriend and towards my ex-boyfriend.
"Hi…Hayden. What's up?"
I glanced over my shoulder to see Alice leaning against a bookcase, her arms crossed at her chest and nodding. To others, she probably looked heartily interested in what he was proposing but I knew she just wanted to get out of there. Still, it hurt to see her openly flirting with another person, even if it was just for show.
"I tried coming by after school to see if you were okay. I heard about what happened…" He pulled the other empty seat across the carpet and sat down close to me, laying his book bag on the cluttered table. "I'm so sorry."
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was probably asleep or something when you came by. And yeah, uh, thanks." Already, I had had two old teachers from previous years come up to me in the hallways to apologize for what happened. I still wasn't quite sure what to say. "Thanks" seemed to work just fine but I still felt awkward…like I was a poster girl for pity. I had a feeling that in every class, I was sure to get some more apologies from teachers and students alike.
"Did you get my text this morning?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Okay, well here is your present, birthday girl." He unzipped his bag and pulled out a long combo pack with at least a dozen small Reese's cups. At one point in our relationship, I was obsessed with them and gained a couple pounds because of it. He moved his bag so that from the viewpoint of Ms. Brennan's desk, she couldn't see the chocolates. We weren't allowed to have food or water in here for some reason and the librarians were like Nazi whenever they saw someone was breaking the rules.
Although I wasn't obsessed with them anymore and just saw love handles in my mind as I held the present in my hands, I knew it was a sweet gesture from him. "Thank you, Hayden. That's sweet." I set the candy on the table again and leaned forward to wrap one arm around his neck in an awkward hug, but a hug nonetheless.
His hand rubbed smoothly and gently across my back as we hugged and briefly, I thought I felt his cheek nuzzle mine but just as soon as I considered it, he leaned back and sighed. "Let me know if you need anything, k?"
"Yeah, sure."
"No, really. You have my number. Okay?"
"Hayden!" Eric called across the library.
"Excuse me!" Ms. Brennan retaliated, standing up from her desk, her brow furrowed into an unattractive line.
Eric raised his hands, apologizing lamely as Angela cringed in slight embarrassment and then he waved Hayden over, nodding towards one of his open books. My ex-boyfriend accepted his request with a simple bob of his head and then looked at me once more, staring at me for a moment as if relishing my expression of content towards him. For once, it wasn't annoyance or anything negative and with an accomplished grin, he rose from his seat, swung his backpack on his shoulder and walked towards Eric and Angela.
I set the Reese's beneath the cover of one of my books, hiding them from the librarian's eye and then turned, glancing off towards Alice to see her gaze follow Hayden to his seat, her body sighing and vibrating with tension. Her eyes flickered over to me, stopping just barely to let me see her jealousy and then she returned her attention to the man in front of her.
We were so close, so consumed with one another but yet, in small events like this, it was a reminder that we practically lived in separate worlds.
"Surprise!" My living room erupted with a loud scream and I jolted backwards, only for Angela to catch me, her torso shaking her laughter.
Fucking hell. I hate my birthday. I especially hate parties for my birthday. I have to talk to everyone and pretend like I like them but really, I'm just thinking about how stupid they are and how I could easily probably make them cry if I wanted to. Well, I guess thinking of scenarios where I'm a bitch to them while I zone them out as I converse with them makes parties fun? Yeah?
"I know that you hate parties but it's your big eighteenth birthday party," Angela said into my ear as she steered me along towards the cake in the middle of the room. Everyone at the party was singing terribly off-key the traditional birthday song and although a cringe was fighting onto my lips, I struggled to keep a happy, pleased, thankful smile on my face.
Was there going to be any fucking booze at this party?
Feeling a gentle push on my lower back from Angela, I bent down to blow out the candles, holding my curly hair back. After two attempts, I figured that they were trick candles and swiftly turned to hit Angela on the arm but accidentally hit Mike instead.
"Ouch!" He said with a mock grin and rubbed his forearm. "Happy birthday, Bells." His hands were on my hips in the tight space that the crowd allowed us to and I felt uncomfortable, already scanning the crowd for Jessica. Shouldn't she be the one here with his hands around her?
I smiled as warmly as I could towards the fucker that I was never too fond of and unfortunately, I had to act differently once he pulled out a small rectangular present wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. I raised one eyebrow.
"I didn't have time to run out and get some birthday wrapping paper so I worked with what I had."
"Do you want me to open it now or later?"
He glanced around the many people around us. "Why don't you open it now?" He leaned in closer and I could smell his Stride spearmint gum.
"Okay," I muttered to myself and tore at the wrapping paper, not caring if it was ripped. It was so annoying whenever I gave a present to someone and they spent what felt like fucking years carefully taking off the paper because they wanted to use it again. If I wanted to give you wrapping paper, you cheap ass, I would've just given you fucking wrapping paper.
"Wuthering Heights" was lying in my hands, barely beaten or worn away unlike my other one, which I had read again and again countless time. Oh, this was actually sweet.
"Thank you, Mike. I love this book," I flipped through the pages, seeing no blemishes on the paper, not a single one torn.
He shrugged sheepishly. "I saw the other day when you were carrying it that it looked like it was ready to fall apart right there so I thought it was time for a new one."
"Thank you," I repeated again and leaned up just as he leaned down, both of us wrapping our arms around each other. I didn't really want his stinky cologne all over me or the opportunity for him to sniff my hair or even pull one off for his possible shrine in his closet but he did just give me something nice.
This was particularly why I didn't like my birthday. I had to be nice to others because they were giving me gifts. Otherwise, I'd start cursing and yelling at Mike for the southern course his hand had taken down my back. Instead, since this fucking day was here, I had to kindly step back, sliding out from his arms and smiled at him again before struggling through the crowd.
Someone stepped back too quickly and my back fell against someone's back, making my footing unstable. I held onto the nearest person's arm, which didn't help too much because someone else just pushed me away. I felt like I was a ball in a pinball machine. I happened to glance up and saw a wild mane of reddish-brown hair.
Edward?
No! I had to run. Fuckity fuck.
I couldn't maintain stable ground though because as soon as I got upright, someone else just knocked against me. My heart was racing and I could feel my hands almost shaking with adrenaline. Why wasn't anyone doing anything? He's right there.
He started to turn and I cringed, ready to face his ugly face, contorting to his usual sneer towards me…
Huh? It wasn't Edward?
He saw me struggling in the crowd, obvious concern on his face and he put his drink down, fighting through the way and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him. Who was this kid? He looked familiar.
"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"W-Who are you?"
"You don't remember me? We had English together sophomore year. I look really different, I know. I got taller and I changed my hair and I changed my style—"
I couldn't focus on my "old friend" because I was still adjusting, trying to calm down from my near panic attack. Sure, I had a little slip at school in the tight hallways and was close to the decision to call Charlie to pick me up but now I couldn't even feel safe in my own home?
"I don't like it."
He raised his eyebrows, confused. I wanted to slap his fucking face. He looked too much like him. "Huh? What'd you say?"
"I don't like your hair."
"Oh," he muttered, raising a self-conscious hand to play with a strand. "Well, what do—"
"Hey Jake!" Jessica came up beside me, sliding her hand around my waist. "You look really good tonight. I like that necklace," she schmoozed up to him before turning towards me, a smile so wide that I feared her face could shatter from the pressure right here. "Do you like it? Is the party nice?"
No. No, it's not. I'm not ready for this.
"Get me Angela, Jessica. Please."
I shoved my hands in the pocket of Alice's sweatshirt after knocking on her door and shuffled on the heels of my feet, glancing around nervously. We hadn't exactly planned this but after my little episode during the party, I had to see her. Maybe she could calm me down.
Naturally, people weren't too happy that I suddenly wasn't feeling well and the party had to end but after Angela made a tiny comment, hinting about the earlier events at the football game, everyone left quickly with the same pitiful look I had seen throughout the whole day. Had everyone taken a class as how to deal with this? I mean, fuck. Sure, I wanted to be left alone and not bothered but I didn't want to be treated like the pity case and treated differently.
We had called Charlie to inform him of what happened and he understood, asking Angela to just take me out of the house for a while. I told him that I was going to go over to her place and just watch movies with her until he got home.
Of course, I had to lie. It wasn't the best idea to tell him the truth—that I was going to see my girlfriend, who is a couple years older than me and oh by the way, my teacher.
I saw a shadow flicker through the keyhole and a second later, the door opened. She looked cute. I never thought I would see Alice in such comfortable-looking sweatpants and a low tank top. Short skirts, kick ass heels, and tight blouses were the only image I had associated with her and now I was happy that I had come, if not to get some girlfriend time but to see how fucking cute she looked.
"Hey, honey. Come in," she said quietly, stepping out of the way. As soon as the door was closed, she wrapped me in a hug, nuzzling her nose into my neck and cupped the back of my head with her hand.
Feeling her fingertips thread through my hair and brush against my scalp, a wave of tingles spread through, practically caressing my brain into a state of complete relaxation. It also helped that she placed barely-there butterfly kisses just behind my ear, accelerating my heartbeat ever so slightly.
"How are you feeling?" she whispered against my skin, her lips going lower, her target the crook of my neck. I could feel her mouth moving against me as she spoke and I clenched my teeth to avoid letting out an embarrassing groan.
"Better," I chuckled. "A lot better now that I'm here with you."
I felt a smile against my skin and sadly, she pulled back to look me in the eye but kept her arms around my neck. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
"Okay." Her eyes danced across my face with approbation and within seconds, I felt a hot blush creep up my neck. As soon as she noticed it, she giggled and gave me a quick peck.
"Happy birthday, by the way." She smiled and as I'm sure she meant it one way, I envisioned another.
"I'm perfectly legal now," I quipped with a suggestive raise of my eyebrows. She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes to silently chastise me but I could see a faint gleam hidden away in there, no matter what she did to try and hide it.
"Yes, you are." She turned to walk to her bedroom and I swear, underneath her breath I heard something along the lines of: "lower the jail time" but I tried to ignore her and try not to over-think it. She returned seconds later with her hand behind her back and a playful grin.
Ooh. A coupon for sexy Alice time?
"By the way, you told me that your birthday was coming soon when I picked you up from the club. This wasn't 'soon,' honey."
I giggled sheepishly, licked my lips and shrugged. "I was desperate for some time with you or some kind of attention at all from you. I had to either pull out the birthday card or I was moving away to some foreign country or something else drastic."
She shook her head, amazed at how far I was willing to go for just basic time with her but secretly, I knew she enjoyed it. She had to. I mean, I'm cute as fuck, witty, smart and determined. How can anyone resist me?
"Well, I got you something. I don't know if you remember or not but…" she moved her arm, laying out a rectangular shaped present wrapped in a cute, childish wrapping paper.
My birthday for the last few years seems to have been tiresome instead of wonderful. Every year, on this day I have to wear a façade, pretending I like everyone I'm speaking to and especially their presents. That's the big thing. The majority of the presents are things I don't like and it's a pain to return them and having to deal with cash or store credit or whatever.
Glancing up at Alice, I saw the almost giddiness painted upon her face, awaiting my expression and although I had a feeling that the gift she gave would be great, there was that slight chance that it would be completely off the mark.
Finding the end of the paper, I ripped it and paused, seeing two letters and couldn't help but smile as I took off the rest.
Of course she would get a perfect, sentimental present. "This is so cute," I said sweetly, holding Lady Gaga's latest CD in my hand. "Thank you. And how could I forget that night you came over and sang 'Bad Romance'?"
She shrugged, turning to walk towards her kitchen. "Of course. My amazing, phenomenal voice is hard to forget." She said with a faux diva tone, and then as I chuckled, she did as well.
I perched on top of the barstool, running my hand through my hair and set my present on the counter. "You've yet to see my incredible skills."
"Which skills are these?" She bent over, opening the oven and I paused in my thoughts to admire the view. "Bella?" She questioned, looking over my shoulder and when she realized I was staring at her ass, she scoffed playfully and shut the door. "Focus, honey."
"Sorry. It's hard, Al."
"Maybe I should move you from the front row. I bet this is why you've been slipping lately."
I raised my eyebrows and shrugged, pretending to not understand. "Maybe. Maybe you could wear looser clothing so it would be easier for me to focus in class."
She giggled and grabbed a Mike's Hard Lemonade out of the fridge, twisting the cap off with her bare hand. Wow. That move by itself was surprisingly sexy for some reason. "Anyway," she took a sip of it and I watched her throat as she swallowed. She should do a porn video of just simple everyday tasks. I'm sure it would sell.
She set the drink on the counter just as the timer of her oven went off and I contemplated drinking some of it so I would be "unable to drive home and have to sleep over" but knew that I wasn't ready for anything of that magnitude to happen quite yet. I didn't want her and I to be in the middle of something special and beautiful and have memories of Edward ruin it.
"What're you making?" I asked, straying off topic.
"Chocolate chip cookies. Don't they smell nice?"
"My nose is still a little cold from outside so I can't really smell them."
She took two oven mitts, sliding them on and bent over, grabbing the pan and lifting it upward. I watched the muscles in her forearm flex as she did so and heard a soft sigh as she placed it on her stove top. Mm. Could the porn video be based off of cooking?
I silently watched her carefully slide the spatula underneath the cookie and lift it off the pan to an empty white, clean plate. Her moves were deliberate, no sign of hesitation and quick as if she did this everyday. I'm sure that whatever she set her mind to, she could accomplish.
When she was done, she turned the oven off and brought the plate over to me, setting it on the counter in front of me. She leaned over, placing her elbows on the side and briefly, I could see some cleavage down her tank top before she moved her arm to unintentionally cover it, tucking some hair behind her ear.
"Here, honey."
"You made these just for me?"
She nodded, biting her lip. Something was on her mind…what was it?
"What's up, Al?" I asked, barely touching the cookie to see if it was too hot. Yeah, I'd have to wait a minute or so before I put it in my mouth.
"I just…I thought since Hayden could give you some chocolate, I could too." Her voice wasn't spiteful or angry, it was just matter-of-factly. But it was said in such a way that only a woman can: sweetly but with an undertone of challenge.
I leaned back in the chair, running my hand through my hair again. "Well, what about you? Huh?"
"I couldn't help it, Bella. It's not uncommon for teachers to date one another at schools."
Whoa. Back the fuck up. "Wait, so he asked you out and you agreed?"
She sighed heavily and idly played with a cookie, breaking it apart. "No, honey. He asked me out but I told him I had papers to grade this weekend, since we have a big test coming up on Friday. Then, when he pestered me more, I said I had family visiting and he even requested to come over for dinner. I had to say that my family would find that rude, which is a complete lie. But while I was struggling to keep up with my lies to this guy, I looked over and saw you and Hayden hugging." She paused to incline her head to me, looking up from beneath her lashes with a glare.
"He gave me a present. It's my birthday, babe. What was I supposed to do?"
She paused, staring down at the cookies she had just made and finally sighed, raising her hands to rub at her face. "I don't know. Just…I can tell just by looking at him that he still has strong feelings for you and…it bothers me."
"You don't trust me?"
"No, of course I trust you. I don't trust him at all, though."
"Both Mike and Hayden like me, Al. I can't just hang out at your room all the time and briefly bring you into conversation, ya know? I have to act like you're just another teacher and so…I have to be nice to my guy friends and even though I don't want them to flirt with me, they're going to."
"Exactly, honey. The same goes for me. To everyone else, I'm a single woman that's independent and doesn't have any baggage like an ex-husband or children. That makes me a hot target for guys, especially lonely P.E teachers…" she said, popping a small chunk of cookie into her mouth. "You looked like you wanted to shoot a bazooka at his penis."
The small piece of cookie I had in my mouth almost got caught in my throat when I started laughing. I had to lay my head on the table I was laughing so hard, my stomach contracting with pain with every giggle. I even heard Alice chuckle once or twice probably at my reaction and finally, she didn't hold back and laughed heartedly with me.
"Ohhh," I said softly, raising to an upright position and let out another small giggle. My face felt hot and burned, aching with how much I had smiled. "I never thought I would hear something like that from you."
She chuckled and raised a hand embarrassingly to her face, covering her beautiful eyes. "I'm sorry," she said through another laugh and then lowered her hand and shrugged. "It's the truth. You get so jealous, honey."
"I can't help it."
"I don't mind. I think it's cute, actually."
"Yeah? Hayden used to get jealous and it bothered me because he didn't just get jealous, he was controlling, too."
"Oh my gosh," she said as soon as I finished my sentence, adding a dramatic eye roll. "I completely get what you mean, honey." She looked up to me and then stopped, her lips turning into a cute grin. "Hold on. You have chocolate practically dripping down your lip."
"Really?" I reached forward to grab a napkin but she grabbed my wrist, trapping it and shook her head before leaning over the counter. The tip of her tongue traced slowly, barely putting any pressure on me to get the chocolate near the corner of my lips. Electricity shot down, making a hard throb in my center and I gripped the edge of the counter, squishing the cookie I was holding in my right hand.
She stopped her ministrations and stayed in that position, our breaths mixing together and I felt in the briefest instant, the brush of her lips. Just as I thought she was going to move a few centimeters and actually kiss me, she pulled back abruptly and smiled mischievously, licking her top lip, allowing me to see a flash of the chocolate she had licked on her tongue still. "Damn," she muttered. "I'm a good cook."
Yep. Porn video on cooking. That's the fucking one.
I shook my head and dropped the battered cookie I had squeezed onto the plate with the rest of them. "That's not nice."
She raised a curious, playfully ignorant eyebrow. "Mhm? What isn't?"
I narrowed my eyes at her and shook my head slightly before pushing the plate to the side and leaning forward, capturing her lips in an instant. She moaned instantly, dropping the cookie she had in her hand to the floor so she could wrap her fingers in my hair, the other caressing softly on my cheek. I didn't know if she could feel it but I felt like my lips were practically numb with electricity, my mind baffled at anything as simple as two plus two in this moment. As we were kissing, I shuffled to sit on the counter and moved closer to her, hanging my legs off the counter before wrapping them around her waist and pulling her to me. Her hand immediately left my cheek to rest on my thigh and as I flicked my tongue over hers, I felt her tighten her grip in my hair, pulling it ever so slightly. A shock traveled from my scalp to rest on the pleasurable throb that resounded at my center. I couldn't help the embarrassing loud groan that left me and vibrated into her mouth. Her hand moved higher, gripping tightly and I cupped my hand against her face, my fingers idly playing with the hairs that were currently standing on the back of her neck.
I felt so fucking hot. Could we take off my sweatshirt, please?
She pulled back, putting our foreheads against each other and even though I tugged on her, she refused to bend down to kiss me again and instead, our heavy breaths mixed.
I was so lame. Just a tiny make-out session with her and already, I could feel that my panties were soaked. Any movement I made felt slippery so I fought to make only minimal movements from my legs.
"Did-didn't you say you were with Angela?"
What the fuck? I don't care about that lie right now! I'm kissing my hot ass girlfriend!
"Uh. Y-Yeah," I struggled to retain normal breath to converse. "Why?"
She kissed me softly, like a small, short peck and just as I reached up to keep her there, she pulled back. "You should get back, then, honey."
"Nooo!" I whined like a five year old and fell back against the counter. Alice didn't say anything and I wondered what was wrong but when I lifted my head to look at her, I realized that this vaguely resembled a sexual position and a blush crept up to my cheeks.
She solved the problem by sliding her hands up to my hips, sending a wave of shocks through my body again. A ragged breath left my lips. She kissed my stomach over my sweatshirt and then slid her hands back down, then left me completely.
No, no.
I heard the pitter-patter of her footsteps on the floor of her apartment and just as I opened my eyes after a long sigh, I saw her come into my view above me. She smiled warmly, showcasing her dimples and her brilliant white grin. "I don't want you to leave either but it's better to be safe, honey."
She finished her point by leaning down to kiss me upside-down. It was different and I briefly had a flash of the movie "Spiderman" in my head but after a second, I got used to it and after our tongues met, delving and exploring one another's mouths, we parted. Every part that she touched tingled, flickering with the after feeling of her touch. She kissed the tip of my nose before straightening up.
"I'm sorry about freaking out about Hayden."
I nodded. "I'm sorry about being maybe too jealous."
She smiled softly just as I sat up and jumped off the counter, straightening out Alice's sweatshirt. I snatched a cookie off the plate as well as my Lady Gaga CD and I grinned as I went to the front door. She wrapped her arms around my waist, putting my back against the door and my thumb caressed the side of her face, taking in all of her beauty.
We kissed briefly, savoring the feeling that washed over us instead of grabbing a hold of the raw, primal sexual emotion and as I pulled back, she removed her arms and took a step back, holding onto the door and opening it for me.
Walking down the steps, I felt an ache already forming on my body from the loss of her touch and as I glanced up at her before stepping up to get into my truck, I saw the same look of pain and also exasperation because tomorrow, we would have to put in an effort to cover our feelings and play the parts of student and teacher who work together, not girlfriend and girlfriend who love each other.