Schedules

"…you know, the more I learn about this, the less I want to see it happen."

"…and what would you suggest, youngling?"

"That we completely sabotage it right from the start."

Fixit vented heavily. This was totally necessary to complete wreck the events of Dark of the Moon, but…so much work. It'd all be worth it, though…hopefully…

She jumped lightly, the reduced gravity of the moon turning it into an impressive leap. Transforming, she sped off back towards Earth, leaving behind the immobile figure of Sentinel Prime and the five Pillars around him.

Miles collapsed into Sam's arms dramatically. "Kill me now," he groaned pitifully.

"Miles!? What's wrong!?" Sam panicked as Bumblebee and Mikaela hovered over the two. The nearby Autobots and NEST members also looked up in concern.

"How does Mom do it!?" the blond wailed as his guardian trudged in. Barricade ignored the tensing of the Autobots in favor of crashing into the wall, sliding down it to rest in a heap of groaning metal. Fritz was sprawled on his shoulder, passed out from exhaustion.

"…do what?" Prowl asked slowly, staring at the other cruiser in wary confusion.

"Exist," Cade grumbled, burying his faceplates in his knees.

"Run an entire fraggin' company, invent new things, spend time with her family, and whatever random agenda Hot Dog set her!" Miles whimpered in reluctant awe. "All we've been doing for the past two days is helping out with the company, and we didn't get to everything, and Tristan, the VP, says Mom does all of that and more! Alone!"

Jazz whistled as the other Autobots gaped. "Slaaaaaag. Ah knew she was busy, bu' tha's jus'…wow."

"What's wow?" Fixit asked as she bounced in through the door. And then she took in the semi-conscious Terrible Trio. "Why are you lot so tired?"

Barricade and Miles stared incredulously at her. "You left us in charge of the fragging company!" they yelled.

"…"

"…"

"…and what does that have to do with how tired you are?" the albino asked slowly, honestly confused.

Seeing as the two exhausted ones were struck speechless, Prowl decided to speak up.

"Ms. Callahan, exactly how busy is your schedule?"

She blinked at him. "…what? Where did that come from?"

"Fixit, jus' answer t' question, please?" Jazz frowned, getting up to scoop her into his arms and hold her against his chest. She gave him a weird look, but obliged, settling back against his chest as she did so.

"Okaaaaay…um. I dunno, it changes from day to day…I guess I'll just give you last month or something. Sooo…okay, I woke up. Wrote down plans for improvements, new inventions, that sort of stuff. Then I set up a trap for the Terrible Trio and made Miles' breakfast whilst chatting to Judy over the phone. The boys stumbled in and I proceeded to ignore them yelling at me/eating in favor of texting Tristan, my Vice President, about meetings and business deals and other such slag.

After that, I gave the boys their chores for the day and headed out. I flew to China for a meeting, and on the way over I conducted four profitable business deals over the phone. On the drive to the meeting, I checked in with Tristan and the board via a conference call. After that, I reviewed possible candidates for the position of NEST liaison whilst receiving a report on how discrediting Galloway was doing. Then I indulged in a brief cackle."

The entire room resisted the urge to facepalm.

"Checked over the stock market quickly, texted Tristan recommended new investments. Then I went through the meeting, doodled on scratch paper and refined the things I came up with that morning. The meeting finished about three-"

"You got all that done before three!?" Miles gaped at his mother.

"Well, three according to Pacific Coast Time, yes. Beijing's about sixteen hours ahead, which would've made it…oh, 7am over there? Yeah, sounds about right. Anyways, after that, I hopped over to Japan for another meeting, finalizing the designs on the way over. Sent them to Tristan and dove into the meeting. Finished that up, popped over to an international robotics conference nearby and spent an hour or two indulging. They had one of the Poltergeists' robot Zombie Bunnies too, which was amusing and kinda cool."

Barricade snorted, resting his helm against his knees again as Prowl twitched, giving him a suspicious glare. Jazz pulled a servo away from around Fixit to lay it on the Praxian's shoulder, silently telling him to calm down. The albino hid a smirk at evidence of how well her plan was working. It was far easier to get Prowl to show emotion now that he was constantly stressed out about Cade's inaction.

"After that I headed over to Germany. Worked on…well, things you're not really supposed to know on the way over there. But I got a fair amount done, although code is not my fav thing in the world…right! Spoilers! Anyways, moving on…"

Jazz smirked, shaking his helm in fond exasperation as Prowl gave her a flat stare. The rest of the room was torn between the two officers' reactions.

"So, got there around…6pm-ish? Which was about 3am over there. So I ran a couple errands, caught up with my underworld contacts, plotted a couple of new pranks to pull until it was time for the 7am meeting. Debated, argued, etc., etc. Once it was over, I ran around Europe setting up some of the pranks, and only just made it to Zurich in time for the meeting. I like the Swiss…"

Brows were raised at the non sequitur as the albino spaced out. Then she shook herself all over.

"Right, focusing. Okay, so then I got out of there and ran around doing a couple more errands. Popped into GreenTech HQ in South Africa, chatted with Tristan, bullied the board into doing what I want, kicked the research division into gear on my new designs, visited the aid centers we have set up around Africa, and planted a couple of trees in Madagascar before heading back home to help Judy make dinner…probably about a day after I left. Socialized, mocked CadeCade and Fritz, plotted and planned, worked with the research division over in HQ via video call, attended meetings in San Francisco, Portland (OR), Washington DC, Montreal, and Dallas (not necessarily in that order), came back home, made dinner with Judy. Went home with the Terrible Trio, played a couple rounds of Halo with them, worked more on things you don't get to know, and then went to bed. And…yeah, that's pretty much it."

The entire room was just staring at her incredulously as she finished.

"What?"

"Fixit…" Jazz said slowly, looking at her like he'd never seen her before. "How long do yah go withou' recharge?"

"Recharge is for the weak," she answered absentmindedly, already doing something on her phone.

"When do you eat?" Mikaela asked worriedly.

Sam, Miles, and Barricade all snorted in unison. "She doesn't."

Then Sam proceeded to panic about thinking the same thing as an ex-Con. Cade and Fixit looked far too amused at that. Miles and Mikaela rolled their eyes, trying to get the spaz to calm down.

"Wha' do yah mean, she doesn'?" Jazz asked sharply, adjusting his grip on the albino protectively.

"Food is overrated," she muttered.

"Food is no' overrated! Yah can't survive withou' food, Fixit!"

"Primus, you sound like my creeper…"

"Yahr creeper has far mo' sense than you, apparently!"

"…yeah, no, still sound like my creeper…"

"Who the frag is your 'creeper,' anyways?" Barricade scowled over at the albino, who was currently trying to escape an irritated Jazz's protective hold.

"None of your fraggin' business!" she snapped, suddenly furious. Cade flinched back. "Jazz, let me go!"

"Like frag Ah will! Ah'm takin' yah t' Ratchet!"

"WHAT!?"

"If yah won' take care o' yahself, then Ah'm takin' yah t' someone who can keep yer idiotic self alive!"

"FRAGGIT JAZZ, LET GO! I'M NOT GOING TO DIE, GET OFF!"

"LIKE SLAG! YER GOING T' RATCHET!"

Everyone got out of the way as the pissed-off silver saboteur stormed out of the room, the struggling albino in his grasp shouting curses back at him. Their voices faded down the hall, leaving a shell-shocked room behind them.

Prowl just kind of stared after the TIC in shock. He'd hardly ever seen the mech that pissed off…

"…is it just me, or does Jazz seem like his guardian protocols have activated?" Wheeljack asked slowly. Skyfire still had a cube of energon suspended half-way to his open mouth.

"…now that you mention it…he always has tended to fuss over Fixit…" Bumblebee said slowly.

Prowl gave into the urge to bury his faceplates in his servos. Of all the beings to choose as a charge, why did the saboteur have to choose the most suspicious and confusing?

A/N: Poor Prowl…Jazz is always complicating things for him…

So yeah, neither Jazz nor Fixit know that the saboteur's guardian protocols have activated yet, much less that they've latched onto Fixit.

Ah, Jazz...the one thing both Primus and Fixit couldn't see coming…