Chapter 24- April 1862
She danced faster around the flames. Drums beat, feet stomped and shook to the rhythm. She twirled with her tribe, praying for the Great Spirit to grant her the vision she desperately sought. 'There has been so much pain, so much loss... where do I go now, if not to join those I love?' She glanced at the ceremonial cuts the medicine man had made on her arms, blood trickled a small river down her arms to her fingertips. 'My heart's blood still flows for my children, my husband. Though my mourning time is finished and many moons have passed... why can I not obey the wishes of my Chief? Become the wife of the one he has chosen?" She danced on, eyes trained, yet unseeing the sacred fire. The flames grew taller and waved towards her. She stopped, knelt a few feet away from the dancers and watched, eyes wide. The flames opened to tall prairie grass and clear skies. She saw a stag sprinting over the hills, its head held high. Behind the stag came a wolf, large with teeth bared. The wolf ran alongside the stag. She was sure the wolf would leap for the throat of its prey, but instead the wolf kept pace with the stag. They ran side by side over the hills and into the forest. Then she saw a bird caught in a thistle. The stag disappeared, the wolf stayed. She could hear growling of other wolves all around them. This large wolf let out a menacing growl, picked the bird up in his jaws and set it free. Then the flames of the sacred fire returned as did the sound of the drums. The woman's breath caught in her throat as tears filled her eyes. She knew what she must do.
"You have not failed to tell me anything, this is all you saw?" Her chief looked at her sternly.
"It is."
His face flickered his distress in the darkness.
"I am sure the meaning is as clear to you, as it is to me."
"Yes... I will not marry Long Spear. I must leave my people and follow this vision."
"Dark Sparrow, my blood kin. It is a lonely and dangerous road. It has been very painful for... "
She couldn't help but interrupt him.
"My spirit died the day I set the funeral pyre for my husband and children. Long Spear does not want a ghost for a wife. The Great Spirit has chosen a different path."
"Then you must go."
She held out her arms and put her hands firmly in his grasp.
"Good bye."
Her chief watched her slight form slip out of his tipi and disappear into the night. He had lost another.
"Now Jimmy, if you keep bouncing him like that you'll be wearing what he just ate all over your nice clean shirt." Emma Cain scolded as she looked up from the stove.
"Aw Emma, he likes it, don't you, Short stack?" Jimmy said, his voicing rising as he turned his attention back to the baby gurgling in his lap. The baby giggled in delight and clapped his chubby hands together.
"There now, you see? Happiest baby there ever was." Jimmy said smugly a few seconds before letting out a startled yelp.
"When will you ever learn and listen when I warn you? You're about as bad as Sam." Emma said with a laugh as she moved through the kitchen to the table. Jimmy held the baby out at arm's length and stared with dismay at the spit up all over the baby and on his shirt.
"Junior, why'd you have to go and make me look bad in front of your Ma? Here I was defending you."
Emma let out a snort as she took her son from Jimmy's arms and wiped the child's mouth before handing the burp cloth over to Jimmy.
"His name is Samuel and it is a fine name. Don't know why you and Sam have to call him everything under the sun except his God given name. Now Mr. Samuel, you are coming with me and you're going to get all cleaned up. We'll give your uncle Jimmy here time to change."
Jimmy watched Emma cuddle her son against her chest. The baby nestled into the crook of her neck. She glanced up at Jimmy and her eyes danced with pure joy as she placed a kiss on her son's red curls, a perfect match for her own. Emma walked by Jimmy up the stairs to the bedroom she shared with Sam and her son. Jimmy heard the bedroom door softly close and stood up from the table and walked out of the house. He took off his outer shirt and set it on the bench. Then he sat down on the steps and leaned back on his elbows and took in the sunset.
It was a warm spring night, but in only his long john shirt he wished for his jacket all the same. The last five weeks had been some of the best he'd had in ages. He remembered the evening he had rode in to the yard. Emma put a hand over her eyes straining to see. Once she realized it was Jimmy she had quickly handed the baby to her husband, picked up her skirts and ran to see him, crushing him in her embrace the second he dismounted from his horse. 'My boy, Jimmmy, welcome home.' She had cried tears of joy for him. Her brown eyes radiated warmth. Then Sam was there with a firm handshake and a laugh about what had taken him so long. He was with people who loved him and he was home, or at least it used to be home. During the day he kept busy enough helping Sam out at the Marshall's office. Jimmy suspected this was just part of Sam and Emma's scheme to keep him around longer, it didn't matter though, he was glad to earn his keep during his visit. There were also the hours of meals and fattening up under Emma's care. She had declared him skins and bones, and while he was pretty sure that was hardly true, he had lost weight since the end of the Express.
When he wasn't eating or helping Sam, he spent time with Emma and little Samuel who was about eight months old. It had occurred to him earlier that day as he sat on the floor pushing a ball gently back and forth across the floor to Samuel, that he was a very different man than the boy who rode onto Emma's farm about two years ago exactly. Had he really done all that living in only two years? There had been so much learned, loved and lost, it seemed enough for a lifetime. The boy two years ago wouldn't have appreciated the simple pleasure of rolling a ball to a happy baby. It had taken him a while to realize what a gift Sam and Emma were too. Sometimes he couldn't figure out why she loved them all so fiercely. The Pony Express had opened the way station on her farm and taken it over, she had done back breaking work caring for the riders and landed in trouble with them more than once and through it all she had always been their most loyal defender. Sam too, in his own way. The tall and broad Marshall had been a gunfighter once, but made the choice to find a different path and had found it in the law and in Emma. He had fought for Jimmy in the past too. They had cared for him then and they cared for him now. He wasn't sure he was worth the trouble, but after a few days of just being around them and how they were, he felt the weight that had been pressing down on him start to lift.
It was the moments of quiet in the evenings though that left him uneasy. The farm was the same, but it wasn't. The bunk house still sat by the main house, but it was falling to disrepair. Sam had mentioned they should tear it down as it wasn't being used, but Emma had told him she wasn't ready. When Jimmy first arrived he had volunteered to sleep in the bunk house, or Teaspoon's old tack room, but Emma wouldn't hear of it, insisting he sleep in the second bedroom of the house. Samuel wasn't old enough to use it anyways, she had said. Privately Jimmy was relieved. The idea of sleeping in his old bunk with none of the others around him, but feeling the ghosts of memories and happier times all the same, left him with such a longing for those days it was almost painful.
The sun slipped over the hills, taking the last bit of warmth with it. Jimmy sat back up and rubbed his arms to ward off the chill. Ike had sat on these very steps with him, as had Noah... they were gone from this earth now and everyone else was scattered too, following paths they were passionate about whether he agreed with them or not. He felt aimless, like he was blowing in the wind. He was able bodied; he could be an infantryman, or a scout like Cody, or he could get back to working with the Underground Railroad. It would be better than working with Rosemary's men again. Jimmy could almost think of her without immediately becoming angry and embarrassed now. Emma had gone a long way in helping him deal with that, just by having a listening ear and her usual common sense advice. No better choice than to dust yourself off and move on a wiser man from the trial, she had said with total conviction as well as confidence that Jimmy had learned his lesson. He hoped so, one Rosemary had been too many.
Sam had offered Jimmy a deputy position in Sweetwater, while mentioning there would always be a spot for Buck as well. It was a nice offer and he appreciated it, part of him was even tempted to take it, but he knew as long as the war was going on and the rest of his family lived in Rock Creek, he wouldn't be able to make it stick for very long and had told Sam so. He'd need to be getting back to Rock Creek soon anyway, he could do simple math and knew Lou would be due soon. Maybe Rock Creek wouldn't be his permanent home either, but he wanted to be there for Lou and Buck. There would be a lot of changes coming their way. He could pick up some of the slack on the ranch, on top of a new baby, he knew calving season was right around the corner.
"So Junior got you, huh? It was bound to happen." Sam said from his horse after riding in. Jimmy was so lost in his own thoughts, he had barely noticed.
"Don't know how a baby that sweet can bring up something so foul." Jimmy answered somewhat distractedly after Sam walked over to the porch from the barn.
"You ain't changed one of his nappies, now that is foul."
Emma opened the front door, it was clear from her disgruntled expression she had heard Sam's comment.
"Sam Cain you have only changed one or two wet nappies in Samuel's whole life, and I see you setting to roll one of your cigarettes. If you must indulge your filthy habit, keep it on the porch and wash up too before you come in for this fine dinner I made. Won't have you smelling like a saloon." She paused to wait and see if he would argue her but instead he just leaned against one of the support beams as he pulled out his rolling papers. A slow smile spread across his face that reached his eyes.
"I love you too, Emma Cain."
He followed it up with a wink, and as she walked over to give him a playful smack on the arm, he returned it with a pat to her backside.
"Sam!" She said blushing even as she tried to hide her smile.
"What, I can't show my appreciation for the prettiest woman in the territory?" Sam asked innocently even as his smile grew wider.
"Not like that! Not in front of the boy!" Emma said running a hand over her dress to smooth it as she quickly moved away from her husband. Sam and Jimmy both laughed at that.
"Emma, I think if you opened your eyes you'd see Jimmy ain't a boy no more and has had his fair share of experience with women."
"We don't need to get into all of that." Jimmy said quickly.
"Now see what you've done Sam? You've embarrassed the boy. Of course I know he's a man now and has more manly knowledge, but can't you just let me see him as my boy Jimmy for a bit? Now Jimmy, you're going to catch cold, here..." She said as she disappeared into the house for second, "here's your jacket. I know Sam will want some company as he has his evening smoke, but come in soon before dinner is all cold and eaten... by me."
The door closed firmly before another word could be said. Jimmy eased into his jacket as he exchanged a knowing look with Sam who now joined him on the steps.
"Figure we have bout ten minutes before she comes back out here and drags us in by our ears... smoke?" Sam asked as he held out the cigarette he just finished rolling. Jimmy nodded, took some matches out of his pocket and struck one against the sole of his boot. He had avoided smoking and drinking while riding for the Pony Express as it was against company policy, but he felt no such restriction now. Sam lit his own and they inhaled in unison, letting the smoke fill their lungs.
"Sometimes I wish the station had never moved from Sweetwater. There ain't much better view of a sunset than this porch right here." Jimmy said, breaking the comfortable silence. Sam grunted in agreement.
"When I was sitting in my office in Omaha, listening to some know-nothing politician tell me how to do my job, I'd think about this piece of land and this town. Made me realize there ain't no mount of money and no title worth more than being where you feel you belong. Emma couldn't wait to move back here, specially after she found out she was carrying."
"Wish Sweetwater and Rock Creek were closer together instead of on two sides of the territory. Both places feel like home and it ain't a short ride."
"Speaking of Rock Creek, I got a letter from Teaspoon in my back pocket, going to save it as a surprise for Emma after dinner. Picked it up in town after finishing up at the Anderson farm." Sam said with a sly smile as he took one final drag on his cigarette and flicked the butt into the yard.
"Yeah? Be good to hear some news, it's been a few months since I've heard anything... so did cattle rustlers take Mrs. Anderson's prize milker like she thought?" Jimmy asked with a chuckle as put out his cigarette on the step and stretched out his legs.
"It had wandered off through her rickety back gate just like I told her. Found it a mile down the road, chewing on its own cud." Sam made a face as Jimmy started to laugh. Jimmy laid a hand on Sam's shoulder.
"Well any day you're herding cows instead of shooting someone is a good day, I guess."
"Don't know bout that, day ain't over yet, Jimmy." Sam frowned as Jimmy laughed harder before easing into a smile, he sighed,
"Com'on our food is probably cold... and eaten by now."
Jimmy found dinner to be an enjoyable affair in the Cain household and this night was no exception. The food was always delicious and the conversation, entertaining. Sam and Emma acted more like an old married couple than a pair married less than two years. The back and forth of their talk was like two people dueling with words and it was interrupted only by Samuel throwing his food on the floor and then clapping at the achievement.
"Well, I guess that marks the end of dinner, don't it, Short stack?" Jimmy smiled as Emma got up and rolled her eyes, once again muttering about her son's God given name.
"Emma, don't worry about the mess, I'll get it, why don't you set down and read this, been saving it as a surprise." Sam reached into his pocket and passed the letter to her as he walked over to his son and began to clean up.
"You've been holding out on us Sam? Oh it's from Mr. Spoon! Jimmy, I'll read it out loud for us. I know you must be wanting to hear news about as bad as I am."
Jimmy said yes he sure was as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He had been wondering all through dinner about the letter, but managed to stay patient, another thing he wouldn't have been able to do two years ago. Emma waited until Sam got back from putting the baby to bed and settled in to the chair by her favorite lamp.
"Well it's dated late February. He starts by saying Amanda and a man named Janusz got married as well as himself and Rachel, oh how wonderful, was wondering when those two would get around to it! Now he goes on to say he has news about Lou..." Emma's voice trailed off. She visibly paled and put her hand over her mouth, covering her gasp.
"What, what is it?" Jimmy leaned forward in his chair as Sam sprang up out of his and crossed the room to her side. She reached her hand out to Sam. Jimmy nearly shouted at her to spit it out. He could see tears gathering in her eyes. Instinctively he reached for the gun he wasn't wearing as his heart raced.
"Jimmy, Lou's baby came early, too early. She had a little girl she named Angel and the day after she was born..." Emma choked on her words, she took a deep breath and continued, "My sweet Lulubelle had to bury her child... Oh Sam!" Emma stood up and let Sam wrap his arms around her as she started to cry. The letter hung limp in her hand. Jimmy stood and reached for the letter, to read it for himself. He could hear Teaspoon's voice, carefully choosing the words to tell Emma the news. Teaspoon wrote the words that Lou was doing alright, but in such a way Jimmy doubted that Teaspoon actually believed them. Jimmy cursed as he tossed the letter on the table. Emma looked up at the sound.
"Oh I have done a terrible thing Jimmy. I have broken that poor child's heart twice over. Sam, remember I said I sent a letter to Lou last week? It was chock full of advice about caring for a newborn. I wanted to make sure it got there round the time she was due." Emma pulled away from Sam and rubbed her temples, "I told her all the pain of bringing your child into the world is forgotten once you hold them, see their first smile... I even talked bout the way a baby smells, when you nuzzle your nose against their cheek. I wanted to give her hope and all I've done is pour salt in her wound!"
"Emma you couldn't have known." Sam murmured as he tried to pull Emma into his arms once more, she stiffened.
"That don't make it right." She cried. "I wish I could do something... anything to undo what I have done."
"I need to leave, git back to Rock Creek." Jimmy said as he moved quickly to the stairs.
"Oh no you don't, Jimmy Hickok. There will be no talk of you leaving without you taking me with you. Sam, I have to go help my Lulubelle."
Jimmy was about to open his mouth that this was a terrible idea but Sam beat him to it.
"Emma, even if Samuel was old enough to travel like that, which you know he ain't, how do you think it would be to have our own little angel come with you? Do you think that would be any easier for her?" He asked gently. Emma stood, mouth open. Jimmy could see her rapidly trying to find an argument that worked. Then she clamped her mouth shut and sank into her chair in defeat. Finally, she looked up at Jimmy, her eyes pleading.
"I may not be able to go, but you can't either, least not till I write a letter tonight. Don't know what I could possibly say to help mend her heart, but I need to write something."
Jimmy looked into Emma's eyes and then to Sam.
"I'll leave at first light. I'm going to start packing my things."
Jimmy stared at the ceiling for what seemed like forever, waiting for sleep to come. He didn't know why he was in such a rush to get back to Rock Creek exactly, other than to do the one thing he knew he was good at, get a letter there quickly. He could ride fast and he could shoot a gun, but he was at a loss as to how he could help the woman he viewed as a sister. Maybe once he got there he'd know what to say. Just as he could feel the heaviness of sleep resting on him, he heard a mournful noise out the window. It was a wolf, only one. Its plaintive howl echoed from the nearby hills. Jimmy's eyes snapped open. The lonesome call rang in his ears. Everything he had felt coming back to Sweetwater alone reverberated in that one mournful cry to the moon. It left him chilled. He wrapped himself tighter in his blanket and slept at last.
Jimmy glanced back at Sweetwater one last time as he led his horse on the road east. He had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, that he may never see the town again. Emma's pale face swam before his eyes and he hoped that feeling wasn't true. She had been every inch the protective mother he had always known her to be when they said their goodbyes. Sam looked on as she fussed over Jimmy one last time, muttering that he would not starve carrying her letter back to Rock Creek. He was now saddled with twice the provisions he usually carried when he travelled. Sam had paid him a little for deputizing him during his visit. Jimmy didn't want to take the money, but Sam was about as stubborn as he was, the only one more so was probably Emma. He had held his little Short stack a little tighter that morning as well. The baby responding by blowing a raspberry right in his face and drooling on his jacket. It didn't matter. He would miss them all. Before leaving town he stocked up on tobacco, rolling papers, and ammo. Being in Sweetwater this time around may have made him feel like more of a family man, but that didn't mean the rest of the world saw the change he felt.
He needed to be on alert anyway, the further he got away from town, the closer he got to Indian territory. The most trouble he had with Indians was when the Pony Express station had been out this far west, at the edge of the territory. It had made Buck's life miserable on more than one occasion, forcing his friend to choose his "white family" over his tribe. Jimmy let his mind wander as he travelled several hours east, remembering all the previous rides on the same trails.
It was the shouts of a harsh and angry voice followed by clear cries of a woman that snapped his head to attention. He turned his horse's lead towards the sound and galloped forward, clearing the top of the hill. What greeted his eyes turned his stomach. In the glen below, by a stand of willow trees next to a brook was a large brute of a man forcing himself on an Indian woman. She fought and squirmed and tried to bite. The man caught both of her small hands in one of his and punched her hard in her face, then her side.
"Stop fighting me squaw... you will give me what I want!"
She cried out against him in her native language, shrieking as her panic grew. Jimmy threw the lead for his horse in a nearby bush and quickly moved in. The man hadn't seen him yet. He moved silently around back, his rage building with each step he took as he grew closer. The man was grunting now in the effort of keeping the woman under control as he tried to pull down his pants. Jimmy fought to hold his temper in check as he crept in. He was a few feet away now. His hand was steady as he raised his gun and cocked it.
"Might want to reconsider what you're doing, if you like your head where it is." He said with deceptive calm. The man whipped around at his waist to look at Jimmy. He was older, fat around the middle... a grizzled mountain man off his usual path.
"What the?" He exclaimed as he saw the gun pointed straight for his heart.
The woman shoved the man back with her hands and tried to move away. Her eyes met Jimmy's and held them. He could read the terror in their depths, not just for her would-be rapist and attacker but for him as well. Jimmy's eyes shifted back to the stuttering piece of filth in front of him, pulling up his pants. He wouldn't be distracted by the woman while this man still lived.
"You ain't got no right, interruptin me. Go find your own, boy." The man groused as he fumbled around with his belt. One hand reached slowly reached for his jacket. Jimmy caught the motion.
"See, that's where you're wrong. I've never taken a shine to your kind before, I'm not as like to start now." Jimmy narrowed his eyes. The man's hand slipped under his jacket.
"That's right, go for your gun. It'll be the last thing you do before I send you to hell."
The man's face twisted in fury, he cursed and with a jerk pulled his gun out from under his jacket. The man barely raised his arm before Jimmy's shout rang out, the force of the bullet threw the man back. He fell onto the dirt in a heap.
"Better than you deserve." Jimmy muttered as he walked over and kicked at the bloody man. He didn't move.
Jimmy turned back to the woman and stopped, really seeing her for the first time. She looked long and thin to him, like a reed. She had long black hair to match with a slight wave in it. It was partially covering her face, but slowly she turned her head to him. Her eyes were deep brown, almost black and held unshed tears. The raw pain and fear in her gaze pulled at his heart. He noticed her bruises next, across her strong jaw and cheeks. He took a step towards her, and held his hand out. She raised her arms in front of her instinctively and then winced at the motion. She had cuts and bruises on her hands and arms. Her legs too from what he could see of them from under her torn buckskin dress. The way she held her side, made him think the bastard could have cracked her ribs, or worse.
"I'm not going to hurt you, you can trust me." Jimmy said quietly.
He took another small step forward. She said something in her native tongue that sounded like a warning. Jimmy cursed himself internally. He had never been the best at Indian sign when Ike was alive. He relied on Buck too often to translate and most of what he had known he had forgotten since Ike's death. He did remember a few though, including one he desperately hoped she'd understand. He re-holstered his gun.
"I'm your friend." He said as he joined his two hands together and shook them slightly. Her eyes widened with understanding. Her expression softened slightly before her eyes flitted behind him. She let out a yelp of alarm and pointed. Jimmy turned around only to feel the man he thought was dead slam into him. The force of the larger man's weight caused him to lose his balance and fall to the ground.
"If I die, I'm taking you with me!" The man choked out.
He grabbed onto Jimmy's throat and started to squeeze. Blood from the man's mouth hit Jimmy's face as Jimmy gasped for air. Jimmy's hands flailed, then found their grip around the man's neck. Jimmy twisted his body and kicked, finally connecting with the man's groin. The man lessened his hold for a fraction of a second. Jimmy felt a surge of strength, as rage coursed through him. He threw the man over onto his back and growled every curse word he knew as he squeezed. The man started to gag, his arms grasped and his legs flailed as Jimmy tightened his grip, his hands like a steel vise. Jimmy's arms shook as the man's eyes bugged out of his head. Finally the man fell limp. Jimmy gasped as he sat back on his haunches, his hand going to his throat. He still felt the sting of being choked and tried to steady his breathing. Slowly his took to his feet. The man was truly dead this time, his eyes still bulged grotesquely, and his tongue hung out of his bloody mouth. Jimmy gave him an extra hard kick just to be sure.
"You better stay dead this time, bastard."
Jimmy turned back towards the woman. He found her slumped to her side.
"Oh no", he groaned as he quickened his stride towards her. He knelt down next to her and touched her hand, then brushed her hair away from her face.
"Please, stay with me alright?"
Her eyes fluttered open. Jimmy could see she was losing the battle to stay conscious. Jimmy squeezed her hand a little harder.
"I'm your friend remember? We was just getting to know each other before that piece of filth decided he wasn't done dying. Where do you hurt? Is it your ribs?" Jimmy asked, he slowly moved his hand out of hers and touched her side, his eyes a question. She seemed to understand and grimaced, giving him a slight nod of her head.
"Well, I might need to look more closely than I think you'll let me." Jimmy scooted closer to her. He touched the other side of her ribs and her stomach gently, never taking his eyes off hers, gauging her reaction. She was being brave but Jimmy could tell she was bruised everywhere. He could only pray it wasn't much more serious than that. If she was bleeding on the inside, there wouldn't be much he could do. Her eyes remained fixed on him, unblinking. She frowned for a moment, then raised her eyebrows, as if startled. She spoke in her native tongue, she sounded surprised. She pointed at Jimmy and then made a sign, taking her hand to her shoulder palm out, two fingers up and moved her hand away from herself. Jimmy frowned in confusion, after a few seconds he remembered what the sign was, but it didn't make any sense.
"I'm... I'm a wolf?" He asked.
She gave him a small nod. Then her eyes rolled back into her head as she passed out in his arms.
A/N: This took me forever to write! Sorry for such a long time in between updates. Hmmmm who is this mysterious woman? You'll find out more next chapter. :)
Let me know what you think!