Alex slid the door to Amber's ICU ward open unceremoniously, looking down at his sister's chart. He looked up in surprise when he realized that everybody had stopped talking upon his entry. Amber was sitting in her bed upright, looking flustered and smiling brightly, Jo and Aaron sitting beside her, seemingly having entertained her.

"What?" he asked them skeptically. When Amber just widened her smile and Aaron chuckled into his cell phone, he rested his gaze on Jo, who seemed to spend her day off here since she was wearing jeans and an oversized dark grey zip up hoodie, having pushed her hands inside her sweater pockets and having propped up her feet on Amber's bed. She just shook her head at him in a tiny motion while trying to get rid of the smile that seemed to have been playing her lips. "Were you talking about me?" Alex narrowed his eyes at them all, scrutinizing them.

"Never, brother, we wouldn't dare," Amber told him mockingly. Alex sighed, knowing he wouldn't get anything much out of them and stepped closer, waving Amber's chart at her and smiling.

"Guess what," he stalled, smirking at her.

"What?" she asked him, her eyebrows resting somewhere close to her hair line and shaking her head at him questioningly.

"I talked to Bailey and she promised to have you discharged by tomorrow morning if your vitals stay up all day and all night," he opened to her, making her squeal and push both her fists in the air, seemingly immediately regretting it for she bent down and brought her arms to her abdomen. They all flinched with her and sighed. "You're supposed to take it easy, Amber," Alex chided her.

"I'm going hoooooome!" Amber cheered, making them all laugh.

"Well, if you're stable through today and through the night," Alex pointed out to her, still feeling uneasy about finally letting her go.

"Oh, come on, Alex, don't fuss now," she gave him back with a pointed look. "We all know I've only spent the last three weeks in this show room," at this she motioned towards the glass walls surrounding her, "cause my stupid adorable big brother couldn't let me go just yet," she winked. Alex frowned.

"No," he responded, stressing the word. "You've been here because your body has been through hell and back and we needed to monitor you," he stated.

"Don't you have any super important patients to supervise?" Amber rolled her eyes at him. Alex sighed.

"Yeah, I'm only on my way through. Just wanted to tell you that Bailey's going to stop by mid-afternoon, so don't wander. And I took off tomorrow, so we can get you settled at my house," he smiled at her sweetly. Amber groaned. "What?" he asked, dropping his smile.

"You know what, Alex? I really appreciate everything you've done for me…everything everybody here has done for me really… but I'm fine. I'm great! I'm finally healthy! And at this point… as much as I'll miss you…but I really just wanna go home… And since Aaron is flying out tomorrow, that'd be very convenient I'd say," she voiced carefully, making both Aaron and Jo nod in agreement. Alex looked at her and he even felt it himself that his face had to look really stupid right now.

"You can't go tomorrow anyways, Amber. How are you going to get a ticket this last minute?"

"I'm on it," Aaron pointed his phone at them, instantly going back to typing something on it. Alex was confused.

"What do you mean, you're on it?" Alex inquired.

"Turns out the girl he was sitting with throughout Amber's first surgery," Jo spoke up for the first time, wriggling her eyebrows and smiling wickedly. "Is a flight attendant," she informed him.

"Okaaay? And how does that make Amber fly on the same plane as Aaron tomorrow?"

"He has been seeing her regularly for the past three weeks. God, sometimes I really can't believe how oblivious you are to your surroundings," Amber reprimanded him, shaking her head.

"He has?" Alex raised his eyebrows, moving his gaze over towards Aaron. "Go Aaron," he chuckled, making his brother smile and look up at him quickly before focusing on getting Amber on the flight with him. "Well, but that still doesn't mean you'll get on it. How much does one flight attending have to say? I mean… unless she's-," he pondered.

"Stop talking now," Jo chided him instantly when she realized where this was going.

"What was he going to say?" Amber looked in between them in confusion. They both just smiled sheepishly, Jo shook her head. "Ohhh," his little sister caught on. "Oh, Alex, you nasty, nasty man!" she took a bar of wrapped chocolate that was lying on her nightstand and threw it towards him.

"Hey," he defended himself but caught the piece at first try. "Oh, sweet, thanks," he changed his reaction, though, once he saw what she had attacked him with, pocketing it. "Alright, I'll see you later, okay? Gotta do some work, pay off your freaking medical bills," he threw a mock smile towards them, starting to exit.

"Oh, don't you lift one finger too many… I guess... what? A week's paycheck must cover all the expenses?" Amber mocked him back, making Jo choke on the water she was sipping at. Alex snorted.

"Do you have the slightest idea how much money you cost us in here? I mean, the surgeries are covered since Bailey and Webber did it on their pro-bono budget. But there are scans and blood screens and meds and that bed you rant about every single day…. You cost me thousands and thousands of dollars, I hope you know that," he shot back, still amicably, though.

"What do you mean? I mean I know it's expensive and all… but it's affordable, right? I mean… I'd never let you pay if I didn't know that you had the money…," Amber questioned him insecurely.

"Um," Jo looked in between them in confusion, Aaron having paused typing, listening in. "He does not have the money, you realize that, right?" Jo stared at Amber unbelievingly.

"What do you mean by that? He's a surgeon. Of course he has the money," Amber defended herself desperately. Both Alex and Jo snorted now.

"Amber, we're both in training. We're still doing our residency. We get paid next to nothing considering what we do here. I promise, he does not pay those medical bills out of his petty cash," Jo corrected her, leaning back in her chair. Alex sighed dramatically, looking up at the ceiling.

"But Alex… you said you had it covered, right? I'd never have come here if I thought you couldn't manage it? God, Alex, please tell me I didn't just ruin you," Amber begged now.

"You happy with yourself now?" Alex directed towards Jo who had been completely oblivious about all their money exchanging, looking guilty. Alex turned towards his sister and sighed. "It's fine, Amber, don't worry about it," he said.

"Wait a minute," Aaron interrupted. "How did you pay mom's medical bills all those years if you don't make enough money? And don't you have to pay off student loans?" Alex felt how all eyes were on him and he groaned inwardly. Why did they have to start this subject?

"It's fine. I've managed to do it until now, and I will in the future, so everybody, just quit worrying about it, I got it under control," he said.

"You can't. How? How are you still living and feeding yourself and wearing clothes for that matter?" Jo frowned at him now, concerned.

"I live with my best friend, I feed myself off of other people's plates and I wear scrubs all day long," he joked, looking at her in mock boredom, making her narrow her eyes. Alex rolled his eyes when Amber gulped noisily. "I'm kidding, you guys," he turned towards his siblings again. "I'm fine. You're fine. Let's change the subject. I'm out of here," he said smilingly, turning around and walking out the room towards the nurses' station. He walked around it to pull up Amber's latest scans on the computer, still feeling uncomfortable about letting her go. He heard as the door slid open again and sensed someone leaning against the other side of the counter, looking at him piercingly. He looked up at her swiftly, before his eyes studied the screen again.

"How are you?" Jo asked him softly.

"Fine. What do you need?" he asked her dismissively.

"Nothing," she just shrugged, still looking at him. Alex stretched up again, counter-checking something in her chart before looking up at her face.

"Okay… so… what can I help you with?" he smiled at her in confusion. She shrugged again, smiling.

"I just wanted to talk to you," she said. "I haven't really talked to you in those three weeks, you know," she pointed out for him, flashing her eyes. "Just wanted to check if you still know who I am," she smiled. Alex rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, there's been so much going on," he defended himself immediately.

"I know, I know, it's fine. I just… ," Jo sighed, nervously it seemed. "It's been three weeks. I… miss you," she stated, averting her eyes, fixating a spot on the counter where her arms were resting folded up.

"Did you tell them?" Alex' eyes flitted towards Amber's room and could see both his siblings watching them half-discreetly.

"Not exactly," Jo half-smiled, looking down again, a shade of red rising in her cheeks.

"What does that mean?" he raised his eyebrows at her.

"They pretty much figured it out…," she told him tentatively. Alex nodded slowly. "So… I know this may be a little too straight forward regarding how we left things…," Jo started up again timidly, searching his eyes, pausing.

"I'm listening," he told her, amused by her baby steps.

"Do you think there's a chance… of you… wanting to… kiss me… right now?" Alex was taken aback by this. Apart from lingering looks and fleeting touches of their fingertips in passing, they hadn't done anything much the last three weeks. They hadn't shared anything physical, but they hadn't sat down and talked, either. After Amber's surgery, they'd both been back to work regularly, missing each other lots of the times, and at those times they did come together in Amber's room, they really didn't do much other than entertain themselves with their siblings. He didn't know that they were still at a base that allowed for them to speak about doing stuff like that so freely. He didn't know he was even 'allowed' to just kiss her. Jo seemed shy but at the same time hopeful, grinning at him insecurely, her eyes wide and her hands wriggling in and out of her sleeves. He couldn't help but chuckle at her. She was adorable.

"You really think this is the right timing for that?" he questioned her.

"Well, I think… I overestimated myself when I said I'd be okay with waiting… I mean I am… I just… I could really use a spoiler for what's to come… you know? If we're going to work this out… or if we're still… on our agreement? I just… really need to know if you still want this…," Jo stumbled out nervously. Alex sighed.

"And kissing you will change that?"

"Yes, absolutely," Jo smiled. "And also, it's gonna soothe me for a bit longer," she looked at him intentionally cute, making him laugh and roll his eyes.

"Jo, I really don't think that this is the time and place. Amber and Aaron are watching us like hawks right now," he started out.

"So, what? They know anyways," Jo countered.

"And we're in the middle of the hospital. Anyone could stroll by right now," he said.

"So… you're not really tending towards making us… an official… thing…?" Jo inched closer to the answers she needed desperately. This made Alex sigh again.

"Alright, apparently I'm saying all the wrong things today," he looked down at her exasperatedly, but still smiling. Jo just shrugged slowly, trying to hide a smile. "You know, they are gonna go nuts," Alex said, bending a little closer.

"There's gonna be squealing," Jo nodded with a smile, wriggling her eyebrows, leaning on her elbows that were resting on the counter a bit more, to get closer to him. Alex chuckled, shaking his head before throwing everything out the window and closed the gap between them, kissing Jo deeply. Alex wouldn't bet all his money on it but he was pretty sure that he could hear Amber squeal before he could even taste Jo's lips. He could feel how Jo was cupping his cheeks with her palms that were half covered with her sweater and how she breathed into the kiss as if in relief. After a few moments of reveling in the feeling of having her lips on his, he pulled back, however, only slightly and looked at her smiling face, her eyes still closed.

"That better?" he asked her in a whisper, making her nod.

"Thank you," she gave him back.

"We'll find the time, I promise, okay?" he told her, before pecking her lips one more time and getting up, walking around the corner of the counter and matching their fingertips swiftly before walking away, feeling light. He didn't like having given his siblings, or rather his sister, more juice but that was minor to showing Jo that he did care. And he had kissed her. And even though he had longed for her every single night when he was lying in his empty bed since they had last been with each other, he hadn't consciously formed the sentence but now he actually realized how much it was true. He had missed her so much. So he smiled, and subsequently creeped out Arizona who had just walked up towards him.

"I can't believe you got her on the flight," Alex shook his head at Aaron, looking around the busy airport the next night. "You're gonna be so uncomfortable, Amber, you sure you wanna do this today?"

"I'm sure I don't wanna spend more money cancelling the flight than I did with buying the seat," she pointed out, looking at him sweetly. "I'll be fine, I promise," she told him with emphasis. Alex nodded slowly, sighing.

"Alright," he finally stopped protesting. "Call me as soon as you're back home. Do not overdo it! Do not lift one single piece of luggage, you have Aaron for that. Don't go partying or engage in strenuous activities of any sort. Go to your check-ups regularly. Don't do drugs or alcohol. Do not forget your meds," he started his list of instructions for his little sister who just smiled at him patronizingly.

"Oh, Alex, just stop worrying," she told him, smoothing out his shirt.

"Let me finish," he barked at her, making her shut up with a smile. "Don't get into more trouble and tell me if there's anything coming up on your doctor's appointments. Or if you don't feel well. Don't ever play anything down anymore. All of it, really, could relate to your new liver, okay? And most importantly," Alex gave her a piercing look. "Send me a picture of that flight attending," he stated, making them all laugh and Amber hit his chest.

"You are such an idiot, come here," she ordered, taking him into a light hug, since she was still sore from her surgeries. "Thank you, Alex," she whispered into his ear, and he could hear her tearing up. "Thank you so, so much for everything, you have no idea," she repeated.

"Thanks for surviving, baby girl," he whispered back, holding onto her tightly. He could feel her smile against him, making him reflect the sentiment on his own face. When he tried to loosen their embrace, Amber held him close.

"You love her, Alex," she murmured. "And she loves you. Don't ignore it, okay? You'll be amazing together," she pulled back and stared at him deeply. Until Amber was looking at him, he had already formed his teasing reply but now he only found himself nodding, averting his eyes. They parted and he walked over to hug his brother.

"Thanks, man," Aaron said, holding him tight. "Thanks for everything, I don't even know what to say," he said.

"Thanks for bringing her here. And being everything I never was to her," he admitted within their embrace. They parted and smiled at each other before looking over at the still hugging girls, rolling their eyes.

"Take care of Alex for me, will you?" he heard Amber whisper. Jo, who was facing towards him, matched eyes with him and smiled.

"I will," she responded before they parted, too. Alex and Jo stood shoulder to shoulder, watching his siblings walk through security and waved them goodbye. When they had walked out of their field of vision, Alex sighed and turned towards Jo who smiled at him slightly. "And then there were two….," she said in a small voice. Alex nodded, pondering. What were they gonna do now?

"Do you need me to take you somewhere?" he asked her as nonchalantly as possible.

"Preferably back to your place…," Jo gave back to him, biting her lip. "But it's your choice, really," she said, looking away. They stood there for another minute before Alex started moving.

"Come on," he said, motioning her towards the car. They drove in silence, Alex not knowing what to say by the life of him and feeling how nausea rose slowly in his guts and as if his fingers definitely would start trembling if he didn't grip the steering wheel that hard. What were they gonna say? What was he gonna say? What did he want? Was he ready for this? Would he even be able to shape words? Alex sighed before gulping heavily and risking a glance over towards Jo once he had sped up on the highway. She was looking out the window, seeming distant, her hands clutched in her lap, quietly riding along. She seemed nervous, too. When Alex had finally drove them to their destination, he got out of the car and jogged up the front stairs swiftly, hearing her soft steps trail behind him. He unlocked the door, realizing with relief that they were alone. He didn't bother to switch on the lights, instantly making his way up to his room, entering, dropping his stuff on the bed and reaching over to his bedside lamp to switch it on, since he still hadn't bothered to exchange the dead light bulb from the ceiling lamp a couple of weeks ago. The room was dark, apart from the dim light the lamp covered them in and the window provided even more darkness. He looked back at Jo insecurely, watching her hover at the threshold, rubbing her palms on her thighs and waiting for him to invite her in.

"Nice house," she whispered after a moment, taking a step forward when he motioned for her to do so. She closed the door behind her while Alex leaned back on the window sill, staring down at his feet. They stayed in silence for a stretch of time until he heard Jo clear her throat and he looked up at her. "We probably should talk about us now," she offered towards him. He just nodded.

"I don't really know what to say, though," Alex said, feeling like they were starting all over again, not having been with each other since back in Boston, not having talked about it, not having told each other that it was practically a done deal that they were going to be together.

"Look," Jo took a couple of step closer, so they were only feet apart. Comfortable conversational space. "It's only us now. We've never really been only us. We were always the four of us. And you and me… we have only ever really been good together if something was up with Amber or Aaron. When we were in their surroundings. We've never truly gotten to know each other without them. Maybe that's where we should start. I need to know if we can be us without them. Because they're gone now and we're still here and…," she tried to voice her concerns.

"You really think that?" Alex narrowed his eyes at her, thinking about it himself. "You think that they made us be good together?"

"I don't know if they made us… but we only ever spent time as a…quartet…and that's when we developed…that's when I fell in love with you… that's how our relationship built…within the group of four… we kinda…singled out," she tried to explain her way of thinking. Alex nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Anyways, it doesn't matter right now… it's just… I can't seem to get over you. I don't care what all happened. We both made so many mistakes, we waited so long… too long… we grew apart… we fell in love with other people… life kept on going…but one thing I know for sure…even if I not once talked about you in those years while we were apart… I couldn't ever forget about you. I told you before… you ruined me for every other guy. All I really want is you and I just…," Jo shrugged. "I can't get over that. I need you, Alex," she laid out her cards. Alex gulped hard before trying to say something that had been flying through his thoughts frequently when trying to review a properly functioning relationship between them.

"I don't know, Jo. I don't know if I can do it… I've always been so angry. Everything makes me angry, I swear. Thinking about anything in the past, really. Seeing stupid intern faces. People talking too loud. Patients that have too many questions. Anybody else touching you…," he elaborated, seeing Jo hike her eyebrows and smiling sweetly.

"Is it the friendly handshake between me and other doctors or me touching a patient when I test his reflexes that anger you more?" They stared at each other when nobody said anything. Alex dropped his eyes eventually and shook his head, chuckling slightly. It wouldn't be Jo if she didn't mock him in a situation as serious as this one. He looked up when he heard her take a deep breath. "You know," she pointed out for him. "At some point I started thinking about soft little kittens every time I saw you with another girl…," she told him.

"When in the world did you see me with other girls?"

"All the time, Alex. You were never alone. You asked me once why I never spoke up? You always had some stupid chick glued to you!" Jo blew up a bit.

"You realized that? Back then I mean? You realized I was going out wi-," he started, baffled.

"Of course I did," Jo scrunched up her face. "Why wouldn't I? I mean yes… you never brought them back home…obviously," she rolled her eyes. "But we were attending the same school, you know… and well…," she looked at him exasperatedly. "When will you ever stop thinking that I was an oblivious, stupid little baby when you were in your senior year?" Alex chuckled.

"Trust me, I did not see you as a little baby back then. I tried to but I didn't…," he shook his head. "That first time we met again… after your volleyball practice," he said, making her nod, "I was so blown away by you that I almost hurt myself later for thinking stuff like that about you," he said.

"Why?" she asked him in confusion.

"Because," Alex raised his voice a bit. "I wasn't supposed to fall for you. I wasn't supposed to find you hot," he tried to reason, only making her chuckle and shake her head.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" she looked up at him lovingly. "Well, anyways… back to my kittens… At some point when my anger wouldn't subside anymore about that… when it was on the verge of spilling… I realized that my longstanding method of calming myself was now working against me! I was now angered by soft little kittens!" she told him, making him smirk.

"Why are you telling me this?" he looked at her in amusement.

"Because, Alex," Jo took a step closer, "I think we both need anger management. We're both hot headed and stubborn and way too casual about our knuckles. But that's not a reason why we shouldn't be together."

"I thought you told me you put that wild girl behind years ago…," Alex inquired playfully. "Or are you still putting dirt in little kids' mouths?" They both laughed softly at the memory of that.

"Look, Alex. I've always cared about you. Even back then…," she tried to make him see.

"Jo…," he tried to stop her but she wouldn't.

"No, Alex, I know this is hard. And I know it's awkward and hitting way too close and most of my days I don't know what to do with it either… I just… I can't stop thinking about you… and I genuinely feel this has been like that since I first met you. It's not always been romantic or sexual… but it's always been there. But now… I…we…I mean, it's so much more now. It's… you mean more to me than anybody in my life ever did. When you're angry, I'm angry – and trust me, that's a problem – when you're hurting, I am. When you're happy, I could hug the freaking world, and I'm not a hugger, but you know that, too. I just… I think I'm… ugh this is so hard," she tried to express her feelings and failed for a moment.

"Jo, I don't even know how to…," Alex tried to pick up again but she still wouldn't let him.

"No, Alex," she brought up her hand now to stop him. "Please, just let me finish. I know you can't let anyone close. But we're already so close if we're being honest with ourselves. I think we could do it… we could actually pull it off," she begged him now. "I'm so, so, so scared, too, trust me. But with you…," she shook her head. "Everything seems less scary and a lot more manageable with you," she finished.

"What are you saying?"

"I think I'm saying I wanna be your girlfriend…?" Jo looked at him sideways with a cheeky smile, blushing the tiniest bit and laughed. Alex just stared at her.

"I'm not sure you really do, though, Jo," he told her truthfully. Jo sobered up quickly when he stayed serious like that and frowned at him in pain.

"I'm pretty sure I do," she nodded at him. "At least that's what it feels like… it feels like I have never in my life had a home to go to… I couldn't even define what home is… I mean… can you? Is it a house? Or a place? A job? A friend? Family? I never thought about it that much but now it just… I think I realized what home is…," she defined her emotions.

"Being with you," Alex just stated.

"Being with you," Jo repeated, nodding, biting her lips. Alex gulped.

"I'm not sure I can do it," Alex voiced his fears again.

"You've had girlfriends before," she told him. "You had a wife for God's sake," she pointed out to him exasperatedly.

"Yeah…but that's all they were," he responded lazily.

"Okay…?"

"Don't you see?" he asked her pleadingly.

"Apparently I really don't," she gave him back, waiting for elaboration.

"You're… you're so much more than that. I… you're not a girlfriend… you're… you're so… you're Jo," he told her, making her smile at him sweetly. "I don't wanna disappoint you. I don't wanna lose you… I can't. I don't wanna hurt you," he quieted down a bit.

"You don't need to protect me, Alex," Jo spoke.

"But it's all I can think about. What if I mess this up? We're good now. We've finally made up. We cleared up all confusion and we finally can talk to each other perfectly normal. We're good now. I don't wanna mess this up," he pleaded.

"You're not gonna mess anything up," Jo took another step closer. "I get why you are scared to commit to something that feels more than the normal relationship… because I feel the same way. But what exactly makes you think you're gonna mess it up?"

"Because I'm a big screw up," he said.

"Give me an example," Jo demanded. Alex sighed.

"I don't know… I never told you how I've felt about you...for the longest time of my life. I could have asked you out a million times and I didn't. Instead I fooled around with girls that I wasn't even interested in. I was mad at you at a time that you needed me most, I just… I was never the friend you deserved to have," he told her, his voice breaking.

"But that's not true," Jo scrunched up her face. "That's just wrong. You were the best friend I could have ever had in my life. You never once failed to show me all the support you had for me and you were there for me all the time. Always. Even if you had rather gone over to Stacey's, you stayed with me if you thought I needed you. All the time, Alex. You may have never told me that you actually didn't wanna be my friend but much more. But Alex, I only never saw that because I couldn't..because I was in love with you, too, and I was insecure about it and I could in no way act on it… if I hadn't been in love with you, I would have known about your feelings for me, too, like I knew about everything else in your mind and heart. I have always been able to read you pretty decently," she told him.

"But I never say anything. I never dare tell," he countered desperately.

"It doesn't matter, Alex, I know exactly what you are saying when I look at you. And you are so good at showing what you feel, trust me," she shook her head at him just as desperately. Alex shook his head, seeming sad. "Look at me. Is that all there is to it? That you never told me? That's what scares you the most? That you're scared you won't be able to communicate with me? To me? Or is there anything else… anything, really? Not even between us… but something that makes you think that you are going to mess this up," she asked him, having cupped his chin and making him look at her now. There was a moment of pause.

"I must have done something wrong to make my wife leave me," he shrugged, trying to avert his eyes. He closed his eyes. Why had he brought that up now? But then again, why not? They were talking now… and this was important.

"What happened?" Jo asked tentatively, making him sigh again.

"Izzie and I had history from the start. I was a real jerk when I came into the program… may correlate with the fact that you had left a couple of months before… anyways, she was the only person in our class that gave me a chance…and I fell for her. We tried dating for a bit but I screwed it up and then she fell in love with that DNR patient," Alex motioned at Jo, trying to tell her that he had told her the story, Jo just nodded, focusing on his narrations. "Anyways, when he died, she was pretty devastated. We both went through some rough patches… not together but you know…with other people. But then at some point we tried again and I really thought that it was gonna work. And then she was diagnosed with her cancer. We got married at the suggestion of Bailey when they found another tumor that they thought was inoperable… and we did. We got married on a whim. We both thought she was going to die. But even if she hadn't died, I was so sure that we were gonna stick. I loved her so much. She beat the cancer and everything was so good. I mean, no, not everything was good, but you know…she survived…against all odds. And then one of our own died, and there were cuts at the hospital… she was fired. And she partly blamed me for it and left. She came back later to make amends but I had moved on… or at least… I… I didn't wanna be with her anymore. I couldn't. She had hurt me too much. She had left without a word. Only leaving a note… she left me in the dark for ages. I didn't know if she was dead or alive and I had been trying so hard," he concluded. Jo looked at him in horror.

"Oh my God, Alex," she whispered, her eyes wide with shock. "I'm so, so sorry…," she muttered and she looked frantic.

"Hey, what's going on?" Alex grabbed her hand and tried to still her.

"I'm….I'm… I mean… oh my God…this is so horrible," Jo was tearing up but trying to keep them in.

"What?" he barked at her when she didn't say anything.

"I didn't know any of it... I didn't know... I just... I thought you went to Vegas and got wasted and married the first pole dancer you tipped really well... I had no idea," she shook her head. "And everything else... I had no idea that this was… was how she ended it," she said. Alex sighed, nodding. "Why would you give me a second chance when you didn't do it with her?" Alex frowned.

"Because these are two very different pairs of shoes, Jo. I'm sure I made mistakes within my marriage...but her leaving me... it was a selfish, hurtful thing to do. Trust me, I'm no pro at it but in my opinion, things like that don't belong in a marriage. One person loving the other much more doesn't belong in a marriage. You leaving? I was partly to blame for that one. I could tell you a thousand differences. Some of which are surely that we were young and we both had no idea about what we wanted or at least, we had no idea about what the other one wanted. Whereas Izzie and I had sworn to each other in front of hundreds of people... that we'd love and support one another. Believe in each other, trust each other. But Jo, we weren't married. We weren't even a couple. And your reasons didn't include that I was a bad husband and didn't support my wife like I should have even though I tried so hard," he said. "And you are the… you are…," Alex stared at her, not being able to say the word. "What we had...what we have... is so much more even though we are not even close to being married," he added. Jo nodded understandingly but then frowned.

"What do you mean, you were a bad husband? How?"

"I don't know… I still don't know… I just think… Now I just think that Izzie and I both were looking for something completely different in a relationship and we both couldn't give the other what they really needed… or at least that's the most reasonable argument I can think of. She just… she didn't believe in me… she never gave me the benefit of the doubt… and I feel like… she wouldn't have accepted my whole me… not that I ever told her much…. Which again, probably makes me a hypocrite myself since I apparently never gave her a chance to do so either…," he pondered. They looked at each other, their gazes melting, trying to move forward. Jo took the final step eventually.

"Look. I know there's no such thing… at least until now… there is no person on this planet that has really seen you… that you have let close enough to see all of you and know all of you… I know that with every person there is you put up…. like a ten mile radius around you, so they can't come any closer than necessary… but, Alex," she said, grasping his hand at this, "we've gone so many miles together. So many freaking miles. And I know…that there's still like… a huge gap between you and me. And it will take forever for me to bridge that gap…those…remaining… those ten feet that we are still apart and that we will still be apart for a very long while because I know how long it takes for you…but also for me to truly let someone in… but for what it's worth… I will try forever from now on, I will try for all eternity to bridge those ten feet that keep us apart. And I know you will too because I know you. And I can feel how my part of those ten feet keep crumbling steadily the longer I'm with you, the more I let you in and I know with all my heart that it's the very same with you. Because I act completely idiotic in your vicinity… I keep showing my biggest fears and I keep letting you in and yes… we will stumble so many times, we'll probably be so exhausted by the time we have bridged at least some of those feet and it will be the hardest thing in our lives… but I'm saying, Alex, I'm saying that I want just that. I want to walk those freaking ten feet and I will wait for you to reciprocate for all my life, if that's what you want from me. And I know we will arrive at some point, we will bridge all that space that is left between us, I promise you, I will never give up on us. I will never give up on you," Jo pleaded with him frantically. She took a deep breath when she was done, waiting for an answer.

"Did you know that there's a study that says foster kids can't grasp the concept of forever? Like…they're always running from the change… which is hilarious really…because as kids their lives sometimes changed in a heartbeat and often daily… so they keep running all their lives… and the change for them, really, would be settling down… and forever would be… is like... the biggest change of all... it's like a... a stretch of time... I can't really grasp," he slowed down at the end, however, he never averted his eyes.

"Yeah, I know. I can't really, either," she admitted.

"But with you…," Alex started.

"I feel like forever is nothing with you…," Jo jumped in when he succumbed to staring at her. They stood there, only inches apart, having lost any interest in talking. Having said everything there was. Having arrived at that point at which they couldn't go back, they wouldn't. Alex watched as Jo leaned her entire body forward an inch, being so close, she only had to push herself slightly onto her toes to fall against him and he caught her, feeling how her hands smacked against his chest gently, her whole body resting flush to his and he wrapped one hand around her waist while cupping the back of her head and kissed her. It felt like the whole world was spinning but them. It felt like their first kiss. Their first real kiss. His stomach tugged together weirdly and he bucked a bit when he realized how much he had needed his Jo and that he finally, without any more doubts, could call her his. Jo met him with the same passion and longing, kissing him back desperately. They were so close, they could feel each one of the other's cells. Alex felt chills covering his body when Jo ran her fingers up his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck so tightly, deepening the kiss to an extent that made him see stars and he felt dizzy. He loosened his one hand from the back of her head and supported himself on the window sill to steady himself and they broke the kiss to get oxygen down their lungs, breathing heavily, hot air encasing them, the thought of forever having made them lose control.

"Jo," he breathed out heavily, looking down at her lips and then matching her burning gaze that was so close to him, he could barely keep sane. "I… ," he tried to voice. "I…," he said again, knowing the exact words, screaming them in his head but his cords seemed unable to produce them. The corners of Jo's lips tugged up sweetly and her hands smoothed down the back of his head to cup the sides of his face.

"I know. Me too," she said without much fuss, letting it sink in for both of them, trying to grasp the concept of what they had just established.

Alex was kissing Jo softly, gratefully, smiling, but pulled back suddenly, looking at her sharply.

"What?" she whispered. Alex only shook his head.

"This is ridiculous," he told her.

"What is?" Jo looked at him part confused, part scared.

"I know you can read me," he pointed out, making her nod. "But I need to learn to communicate," he said. "I can do this." Jo widened her eyes, not knowing what to expect. They stared at each other for a while, Jo feeling somewhat reassured when he pulled her really close.

"Now I'm scared," she murmured. Alex smiled.

"I know, I can read you too," he said.

"Weren't you about to communicate?"

First he had met her eyes, then he had met her boobs. After a stretch of time, he had met a girl who subsequently had turned into a woman. All the while, they had continuously seemed to be ten feet apart. Once, they had been two really lost kids who didn't have a home or a family. Now they had both, and on their way towards forever, they slowly but surely got rid of any more feet that would ever make them be apart again.

"I love you."

The End.