Okay guys. This is a really long chapter (or one of the longest I've written) so I hope you enjoy it. Go ahead and read ^_^
I sat by Patrick and thought. How could I stay here…how could I go back? I wanted to be with my brother, but I needed to be with my family.
"Chealsee I will love you no matter what. You have to know that." Patrick said and put his hand on my shoulder. "
I have to go back. Gregory, the team, and Spencer need me." I said. He smiled and nodded., then things around me started to turn hazy. "Wait Pat! Will I ever see you again?" I asked.
"When it's time Sis. And remember I'll always be watching over you until then." Was the last thing he said before I awoke and the pain all came flooding back. I gasped. It was so different from where I had been. I was in a hospital room and all hooked up to machines and monitors and I was in a lot of pain.
"Spencer?" I called in a very raspy voice. There wasn't an answer but somebody did walk in. It was Rossi.
"You had a close call there kiddo." He said and brushed a little hair out of my face.
I smiled a little and asked, "Where's Spencer?"
"He's out in the waiting room. When you flat lined he freaked but Morgan got him to calm down and he's sleeping now." Rossi told me. I was relieved, but then I thought back to seeing my brother.
"Rossi…I have a question." I said.
"What?" He asked.
"Do you believe there's a heaven?" I asked.
"Of course I do. When my ex wife died awhile back, I had to have something to hang on to. I knew there had to be a place for sweet innocent people like her to go. I thought I was gonna loose you today. But for me, the only sad part about death is us not being able to see or talk to the person that dies anymore. Because for them, they get to go to heaven, and everything's alright. But the fault is, we don't get to be with them until It's our time." He explained.
I looked at him and said, "Rossi…do you think it's possible that…I talked to my brother while I was flat lining?" I asked.
A look of shock ran across his face but then he said, "Did you?" I nodded and he asked, "What did he say?"
"He told me I had a choice. I could either come back to here, or go with him…but…whatever I chose…he'd always love me and be looking out for me. I chose to come back. I knew you all needed me. Plus…I need you guys too." I said.
He smiled at me and said, "I like the choice you made. And I do believe your brother is looking out for you, and talked to you today. Now get some rest. You're out of the woods and they say you're gonna be okay." He said then kissed my forehead and got up. Once he left I drifted into sleep. Only this time the sleep was good. I dreamt of Gregory and Bailey, Spooky and Reid. And at that moment I was content with my choice to stay with the ones I loved.
Asleep the pain was gone, but when I woke up, it hurt worse than ever. Have you ever had a sunburn and it would start feeling better, but then you go to sleep and it hurts all over again? Well that's how it felt. I whimpered just a little and shifted as well as I could, trying to get more comfortable.
"Chealsee are you awake." I heard a very scared and childlike voice say.
"Spencer?" I asked into the darkness. My eyes hadn't completely adjusted yet. "
Chealsee! I'm so sorry…" He said and I could hear his voice crack and he began to cry.
"Spencer it's okay I'm fine now." I said and tried to find him with my hand in the dark.
He took my hand himself and said, "He wanted me Chealsee…and he almost killed you and…the drugs…I would never wish what I went through with those on anybody…especially you."
I rubbed his hand with my thumb and said, "It's okay this is not your fault. Spencer because of what happened…I got to see Pat…and…it just kind of set me at ease that he is in a better place."
"Chealsee…are you sure it wasn't just the…drugs…messing with you?" He asked carefully.
"You said they made you relive stuff…this had defiantly never happened before." I told him.
"I still wish I could take all of it back and have it happen to me rather than you. A child needs his mother way more than his father…and we almost lost you." He said.
"Listen Spencer. Gregory needs you too. He needs to have some kind of example to follow and isn't that usually the father in a boys case?" I asked. I heard him chuckle a bit.
"I guess. I love you Chealsee…now get back to sleep. I'll be right here." He said. I wanted so badly for him to lay with me, but I knew he wouldn't, so I just closed my eyes and fell back asleep.
The next morning, I woke up and was happy to see Reid was still there. It made me feel a bit better just knowing we were together. Though I was getting a bit home sick.
When Reid woke up I said, "Spencer I want to go home." He shook his head.
"Chealsee you have to stay here. You aren't well enough to be out of the hospital yet." He said. I sighed and pouted at him.
"No Chealsee I'm putting my foot down on this one." He said. It was at that moment that I felt a weird tingly sensation in my arm. Then I all of a sudden started wanting the drowsy affect the drug had given me back. I shook my head.
"You don't want that! It's bad!" I thought to myself. But the feeling persisted until it was nearly unbearable. "So this is what Spencer felt like." I thought. I looked up at Reid, who was reading in his book and sipping coffee and said, "Spencer…what did it feel like when you got addicted to Dilaudid?"
He coughed a bit and choked on the coffee he was drinking and asked, "Why?! Are you feeling the need for it?!"
"No! No!" I lied.
"Then why'd you ask?" He asked me.
"I was just thinking, you couldn't have wanted to get addicted but you still did. How does that work?" As I said it he looked down.
"I don't know…it just sort of…happened…it got out of control." He told me. I reached my hand over and laid it on his.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. You had no control over what happened to you." I said.
He sighed and said, "Alright. You go to sleep now. Promise you'll tell me if there's anything wrong like that okay?" I nodded and as I did my heart broke. I was lying to my husband and it didn't feel right. But I couldn't just tell him. What would he think about me getting addicted to Dilaudid after just one dose when he endured dose after dose of it while being tortured mercilessly. I snuggled down into my bed and closed my eyes. Reid rubbed my hand comfortingly, and I was lulled to sleep.
I woke up in my hospital bed and it was dark. Reid was gone and so was everyone else. I couldn't get up. I could hear somebody approaching my bed so I looked up and there he was. Reggie Hankle. He held a needle full of liquid and a knife.
"This is for later." He said and put the needle down. Then he took the knife and stabbed it in exactly where he had the time before. I screamed and started struggling. Then I heard Reid's voice.
"Chealsee what wrong?!" I snapped open my eyes and put my left hand over my right side. It was cramped up and it hurt badly. So badly that I was crying.
"My side is all cramped up." I said in a strained voice. He called in a nurse and they gave me something to help relax. I gave into it and started feeling drowsy, but I could still here what was being said.
"What happened?" Reid asked.
"We aren't' sure but I'd say her muscles just tensed up. I think she'll be okay but this isn't something we want happening again and again. She's still very fragile and she shouldn't be moving around all that much. Just call us if anything happens." The nurse said and I heard her leave. Reid sat back down next to me and I heard him sigh. I felt bad that he was worrying that much, but It wasn't something I could control. Then I got that tingly feeling again, and started wanting Dilaudid more than even I had before. But I had no time to think on it before I started to fall asleep due to the sedatives they'd given me.
Upon waking up, I realized I was alone. I knew it wasn't a dream because…well…I just knew it. Looking around, I decided it must've been early in the morning. That's when I caught site of a note taped to the railing on the hospital bed.
It said, "I'll be back soon. The team got a case. Going to go see them off. Bringing Greg back with me by the way. See you soon love. - Spencer" I sighed and just laid there alone. I was looking forward to seeing Gregory, but at the moment there were other things on my mind. I called for a nurse with the button on my bed and asked to use a phone. When she brought the phone to me I dialed Reid's cell number and let it ring.
"Dr. Reid" I heard him say on the other end.
"Hey Spencer its Chealsee." I said.
"Chealsee? Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yeah I'm fine I was just wondering if you could get me my laptop from the house on your way back here." I said.
"Sure I'll get it. I'll be back in just a little bit okay?" He said.
"Alright see you then. Bye." I told him.
"Bye." He said and we both hung up. Once he got there he had a very sleepy looking Gregory with him, along with my requested laptop. I couldn't hold my baby but I talked to him for a bit, then had Reid pull up the table I used to eat on and set my laptop on it.
He went out to get something to eat and I hastily typed in, "Dilaudid, drug, how to get?" In and a bunch of links came up. One in particular caught my eye. It said, "HYDROMORPHONE (hye droe MOR fone) is a pain reliever. It is used to treat moderate to severe pain. This medicine may be used for other purposes; ask your health care provider or pharmacist if you have pain and would like a prescription." I then set out to finding where I could get this stuff without drug dealing on the streets and without getting a prescription. Turns out there were a lot of places where I could just buy it over the internet. So I did. I found the cheapest place and bought a few little bottles of the liquid kind.
"Only to help for a few days until I can get over the craving of it." I said to myself. That's when Reid walked in. I quickly shut down the site and said, "Hey if a package comes for me can you just put it by my side of the bed? I ordered something for…your birthday and I'd like it to be a surprise."
"Chealsee my birthday isn't for months." He said.
"Why not be early?" I asked.
He shrugged and said, "Whatever you say I'll put it by the bed." I was relieved. If he found out what was actually in the box, he would freak the freak out.
A few weeks later
I walked through the door of the house and sighed. It felt good to be home.
Immediately I said, "I'm gonna go shower."
"Alright but be careful. You still need to rest a bit." I rolled my eyes, then went upstairs. Once In the bathroom, I opened the box and took out one of the little bottles of clear liquid. Then, after filling the syringe, I put it I my arm and injected. Almost immediately I felt a bit drowsy do I put the box away under the bed and laid down to sleep.
How was it? I don't think it was one of the best but oh well it's a chapter anyway. Please review and know the next chapter will be up very very soon ^_^