Mara

Yeah, I know, I'm a horrible person. Don't say it.

"I need another cough drop."

Jerome gave me a rather condescending look, but reached into his bag. "You know Mara, other people might take a day off."

I narrowed my eyes at my boyfriend, waiting for him to grab the pouch of cough drops I'd stuffed in his pack before leaving for school this morning. "I'm not sick, I have a sore throat. It'll be gone by tomorrow."

Jerome found the bag and handed it over to me, rolling his eyes. "Right, which is why you're on your sixth cough drop and only drinking tea."

I made a face and took the cough drops, unwrapping two and shoving them in my mouth. "If I thought I was contagious I'd stay out of school, but I'm not. It's just a sore throat, probably because I've been up so late these past few days."

"Ah." Jerome's eyes lit up. "Joy and Williamson still whispering at all hours I see."

"Unfortunately." I unscrewed my thermos and took another gulp of the mint tea inside. It had run out after third period, but I'd thought ahead and grabbed tea bags after breakfast, and used the cafeteria hot water to make more during lunch. For almost a week now, every night, without fail, Joy and Patricia had been up until midnight at least, talking about something I couldn't make out in hushed voices. I'd considered asking them to be quiet, but didn't want to seem like I was eavesdropping.

I cast an envious glance at where Nina and Amber were sitting on another couch. I bet they got to bed at reasonable hours.

There was the sound of quick feet coming down the hall, and Mr. Murphy came running in, clutching a thick folder of papers. They were undoubtedly full of more sheet music. He reached a hand up to adjust his glasses, walking to the front of the room as the class noises slowly died down. "Sorry I'm late everybody," he called, nearly tripping over Alfie's outstretched legs. "Copy machine was throwing a tantrum."

Mr. Murphy had taken over some of Duval's French classes two weeks ago, after they changed to music class. He was a good teacher, if a bit scatter-brained at times, and very passionate about his subject.

He opened up the folder, and pulled the packets out, motioning for us to hand them out. "Some of you will have to share, so don't be greedy with the papers."

The class started passing them around, and Mr. Murphy clapped in excitement. "So. To business. Raise your hands if anyone here knows what an anthem is."

A couple students raised their hands. My throat was still sore, and I was incapable of talking above a mumble, so I did not.

"A few people? Fantastic. You're all wrong." Mr. Murphy flapped at us to put our hands down. "An anthem is a song for the masses. It's a song so over-flowing with emotion that it ceases to even be about music, because it's bigger than its notes, and bigger than the person singing it. It's a groundswell of emotion that grabs you by the hair and throws you out a sixth-story window."

"That sounds violent," Jerome muttered. I snickered under my breath.

Mr. Murphy didn't hear us. "Now, raise your hands again, this time if you've heard of the band Queen."

All our hands went up, and a couple people cheered. Eddie actually whistled. Mr. Murphy pulled open his laptop and started typing something. "There are two songs in your music packets. Right now we're going to listen to the first one, I want you to feel the music rushing through you."

A disco guitar riff started playing at max volume through the speakers. Eddie gave an excited whoop, leaping to his feet. Patricia, laughing, tried to pull him back down, but Mr. Murphy loved it. "You know the song?"

"Have I been living under a rock?" Eddie demanded, shaking off Patricia's grip.

"Excellent, sing along!"

Eddie pumped his fist in excitement, and started miming an air guitar. Patricia buried her face in her hands.

"Steve walks merrily down the street

With the brim pulled way down low.

Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,

Machine guns ready to go."

Eddie got to the chorus, and Mr. Murphy made a stand up motion with his hands. "Everybody, together!"

Knowing if I tried to so much as hum, my throat would catch on fire, I mouthed along as the rest of the class sang. Jerome and Alfie stood up and started doing a mock dance battle with each other.

"Another one bites the dust.

Another one bites the dust.

And another one gone, and another one gone,

Another one bites the dust."

Jerome pulled me to my feet, and made me do a spin beneath his arms, before dipping me. My throat hurt even worse from laughing.

The guitar riff came back, and Mr. Murphy shouted over it to be heard. "I want you to feel the music. Feel it pulsing through the ground, and up into your feet, let it take over your soul!"

"There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man

And bring him to the ground.

You can beat him, you can cheat him

You can treat him bad, and leave him when he's down."

"Look around you, feel how the music feeds your energy. Do you see how it's bigger than any one of us?"

I glanced around. Natalie Hollister and Genevieve Van Pelt were drumming on their legs, singing along. Amber was gently bobbing her head and humming, Patricia and Joy were facing each other and almost yelling the lyrics, trying to out-sing the other. Fabian and Nina were also singing along, if I tilted my head I could see his arm around her waist.

"And another one gone, and another one gone

Another one bites the dust.

Hey, I'm gonna get you too.

Another one bites the dust!

Oh shooter, hey hey, all right!"

The guitar riff played a few more times, and the song faded out. I immediately fell back onto the couch, fanning my face. Mr. Murphy's hair was practically standing up on end in excitement as he applauded. "That's it, that's it! Can you feel it, do you see what I'm talking about?"

The class assignment could be done with a partner or by yourself, but all of us had to find a song that we thought qualified as an anthem, write a paragraph on why we felt that way, and email it to Mr. Murphy with a YouTube link. Jerome and I found another Queen song, 'Don't Stop Me Now'. I glanced at him as we typed up the paragraph, trying to stretch it to the end of the class. Ever since Halloween it was like we'd been on pause. Things hadn't been awkward, per say, but they'd been stagnant. His parents were both still getting their affairs in order, still trying to settle the custody battle outside of the actual court room before the agreed upon date, and so when not discussing family matters we made small talk, which I hated, but supposed was better than the alternative.

I still couldn't believe he'd told me he loved me. I wasn't even entirely sure that he had, and I was a bit afraid to ask him. I'd run through the words a hundred times, but was reluctant to ask for help, knowing it would somehow get back to him. If I talked to Patricia, she'd talk to Joy and Eddie, Eddie would talk to Fabian who would tell Nina who would tell Amber who'd tell Alfie who would tell Jerome. Much as I loved our house closeness most days, at times like this it was a noticeable inconvenience.

"Here's to us Mara. Here's to being young and in love."

Sure it sounded like he'd said he was in love with me, but it was perfectly easy to misconstrue. Jerome could've been joking, or exaggerating, or even playfully dissing some of our other classmates. He also hadn't brought it up at all since that day, and I wasn't sure if it was because it hadn't meant anything or if he was waiting for me to say it back. But if he hadn't meant it, how could I say it back?

"Earth to Jaffray."

A pair of fingers snapped in front of my face and I blinked. Jerome was looking at me incredulously. I shook my head. "Sorry, what?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Just making sure you're still alive. You've been staring into space for the past two hours."

I frowned. "I have not."

He shrugged. "Yeah it was probably more like five minutes, but the point remains. You good?"

I gave him a quick, bracing smile. "Fine. Just trying to think of something else to write." I looked back at the computer screen, typing 'I am pretending to type' and deleting it a few times. We finished up the paragraph, and I acted like the Internet was being slow, taking my time finding a link to the song and sending the email. Thankfully I managed to stretch it out until Mr. Murphy rang a triangle to call our attention back and say we had only ten minutes left until the end of class.

"If everyone could finish up and send me your assignments, and then flip to the last page of the packet. You'll notice this one is not sheet music, just the lyrics, but I think you'll be able to figure out why."

Jerome and I flipped through our stapled together packets of sheet music, going to the end. I couldn't help a grin when I saw the title.

Mr. Murphy adjusted his glasses again. "Queen changed the entire musical game with this song. They wanted to give the audience something to sing, something that belonged to them. This song is legendary. I remember back in my twenties, when dinosaurs roamed the planet, I went to a Queen concert and they sang this song. The audience sang along, and let me tell you something. Tens of thousands of people, making music with their feet and their fists and their voices, in unison, it was a sight to behold." His face grew a bit dreamy, before he seemed to come back down to earth. "Now then. Who wants to sing this song? I'll need three volunteers." Eddie's hand immediately shot up, but Mr. Murphy gave a small shake of his head, gently smiling. "Preferably someone who has not yet participated." Eddie sulked, and I hid a smile.

No one else seemed as comfortable volunteering, and Mr. Murphy tutted at us disapprovingly. "Very well, I guess I'll have to select volunteers. Let's see." He tapped his chin. "Mr. Lewis, verse one, Ms. Mercer, verse two, and… Ms. Jaffray. Verse three."

My eyes widened, and I hit Jerome on the shoulder, tapping my throat in panic. Thankfully he took the hint. "Mr. Murphy, Mara's got a sore throat."

"Eh?" He looked up in confusion, before remembering my first name. "Ah, of course, my apologies Ms. Jaffray. Ms. Martin, you'll take over."

Nina looked like someone had hit her in the head. "I'll what?"

Mr. Murphy gestured at me. "You will be singing verse three, unless you also have vocal issues?"

Nina looked uncomfortable. "Well, no, but –"

"Excellent." He cast a look around the class. "If you don't know this song, I have failed you as a teacher, but on the off chance some of you have not yet heard it, here is how to make the music. Our wonderful volunteers will sing the verses, and we will all sing the chorus together. Now, the beat goes like this."

He stamped his foot twice, and then clapped his hands, repeating it over and over until we joined in. Stamp, stamp, clap. Stamp, stamp clap. "Very good," Mr. Murphy crowed. "Mr. Lewis, when you're ready! Sing it how you feel it!"

Looking self-important, Alfie adjusted his tie, smoothed back imaginary stray hairs, and sat up straighter. He sang it a bit like how Jerome had rapped 'She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain' last year.

"Buddy you're a boy, make a big noise

Playing in the street gonna be a big man someday

You got mud on your face, you big disgrace,

Kicking your can all over the place, singin'"

The rest of the class jumped in for the chorus.

"We will, we will, rock you."

Stamp, stamp, clap.

"We will, we will, rock you."

Stamp, stamp clap.

I let my head gently sway back and forth as Mr. Murphy pointed to Joy, who picked up the second verse.

"Buddy you're a young man, hard man,

Shouting in the street, gonna take on, the world someday

You got blood on your face, you big disgrace,

Waving your banner all over the place.

We will, we will, rock you. Sing it!"

Stamp, stamp, clap.

"We will, we will, rock you, yeah."

Mr. Murphy pointed at Nina, who looked like she would rather sink into the floor, and let the class just keep going. Mr. Murphy made his way over, still stomping and clapping. "Last verse Ms. Martin, bring us home!"

Nina closed her eyes in pain, and looked back down at the lyric sheet.

"Buddy you're an old man, poor man,

Pleading with your eyes, gonna get you some peace someday

You got mud on your face, big disgrace,

Somebody better put you back into your place."

The class picked up the chorus, but I missed the first line, staring at Nina in shock. "I didn't know she could sing like that, did you?" I muttered to Jerome, who shrugged, looking unperturbed. I shook my head, looking back down at the lyrics and mumbling along some more.

"We will, we will, rock you, everybody.

We will, we will, rock you.

We will, we will, rock you."

Mr. Murphy placed his hands on his heart and wiped away an imaginary tear as we finished. I noticed Joy, whose own verse had gone fine, was glaring at Nina with a mixture of anger and envy. I internally sighed, having a sinking feeling the whispers would be louder than normal tonight. The teacher checked his watch. "I'm going to let you go a couple minutes early today. Your homework assignment, listen to at least three songs from the Queen album 'A Night At The Opera', and pick a song that describes something you're passionate about. Class dismissed."

I drank some more tea, frowning when I realized it was cooling down. Maybe I could finish this batch and run over to the cafeteria again to grab some hot water and make a new cup before heading back to the house. I took a large swallow as Jerome picked up my backpack, holding out my hand expectantly, but he shook his head, carrying both our bags over to the lockers as I tried to drink as quickly as possible.

We got to my locker and I put the new sheet music packet in the class folder, and grabbed all the books I'd need for homework before shutting the door. I rubbed my eyes and sighed, wrapping my arms around Jerome. He patted my shoulder comfortingly. "Wishing you were still in bed Mara?"

I could hear the 'I told you so' in his voice and pinched his arm. "Gimme another cough drop," I mumbled. I didn't expect him to be able to understand me, seeing as how my face was pressed into his shirt, but he reached into his pocket and pulled out some more. Grateful, I took two as Joy walked over, opening her own locker next to mine and looking irritated.

I sighed. Maybe if I could comfort her now, she'd fall asleep earlier tonight. I let go of Jerome and turned to the tiny girl, sucking on my cough drops. "Joy? You all right?" My voice was low, but she still heard me, turning with a glare.

"Peachy. Why do you ask?"

Jerome plucked my thermos away and unscrewed the top. I gave him a warning look, but he gave me an infuriating smile. "You're not contagious right?" he challenged.

I rolled my eyes, turning back to Joy. "You just seem a bit… hiffy."

Joy's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Hiffy."

My vocabulary tended to abandon me whenever I had a throat, head, or stomach ache. "I don't have a better word for it. But you seemed unhappy with Nina during class."

Joy slammed her locker shut. "I just think it's a bit cliché is all. I mean, she's got the whole tragic backstory, she's gorgeous, foreign, dating Fabian, and she can sing? It's annoying."

I internally counted to five as she said Fabian's name. "Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure she and Fabian are dating because they like each other, for reasons unrelated to her vocal chords."

"Your tea is cold," Jerome muttered, and I swatted him away impatiently. He shrugged and drank some more as Joy took two angry steps over, speaking at a low volume that almost matched mine.

"Tell me Mara," she said in a voice that could cut diamonds. "If Fabian is so in love with Nina, then why'd he have sex with me last week?"

My jaw dropped open and Jerome spat out the tea he'd been drinking, coughing raggedly. I tried to form some kind of thought, but my brain seemed to have disconnected from my spinal cord and was no longer working. Jerome was still wheezing, but he pulled himself together quicker than I did, and pointed a disbelieving finger at Joy. "You and Fabian?" Jerome glanced around, keeping his voice quiet. My mouth was still hanging open. "Fabian and you? The two of you? You had sex? The horizontal tango? You two? Really?"

Joy tossed her hair back to glare at him. "Yes really," she mimicked, looking haughty.

As I was still trying to process, Patricia came up, looking irritated. "Joy, did you take my lip balm?"

Joy's angry expression seemed to practically melt away into concerned interest so fast I knew it was fake. "No, why?"

Patricia scowled. "Damn, it must've fallen out. Come help me find it." She dragged Joy away without waiting for a response, and Jerome stepped in front of me, his eyes dancing with shock and mirth.

He leaned down to whisper with me. "Fabian and Joy?" He raised a hand to click my mouth shut before continuing. "I don't believe it. Do you believe it? I don't believe it."

I blinked a few times, finally managing to regain control of my muscles. "I don't want to, but do you really think she'd lie about something like that?"

Jerome gave a low whistle. "Wow. I have to say, out of everyone who I thought would be a likely cheater, his name was all the way on the bottom of the list. And Joy? I mean I know she's got a torch for him, but I honestly didn't see that happening in a million years."

My lips felt cold. "Poor Nina," I whispered. "Do you think she knows?"

He handed me back the thermos with a snort. "Of course not." He jerked a thumb down the hall to where Nina and Fabian were leaning against the lockers, hands linked. As we watched, Fabian whispered something in her ear and she giggled, before grabbing his tie and pulling him in for a kiss. "Does that look like someone who knows their boyfriend has been unfaithful?"

I pressed a hand to my stomach, feeling nauseous. "Oh my god. Oh my god." I glanced up at Jerome. "Do we tell her?"

He frowned at me. "Why would we do that?" He looked back to the supposedly happy couple and shook his head. "But like I said, out of all the people I would've pegged for the cheaters' roster, I would've thought it'd be me if anything."

That got my attention. "Wait, what?" Jerome seemed to realize what he'd said as I turned to look at him. "You thought you were going to cheat on me?"

"Okay, see, I can understand how it may sound like I said that, but that's not actually what I said." Jerome's voice had taken on the tone of one who was defusing a live explosive. I folded my arms expectantly. "What I meant was, taking into account all the guys in the house, and considering my own general disposition, I would've thought I was most likely to make the horribly irreparable mistake of being disloyal. Not that I would, or have, just in some hypothetical universe."

With each word he said, I let my eyebrows raise higher up my forehead. "Every word you say only digs your grave deeper."

Jerome nodded, and mimed like he was zipping up his lips, and I took my pack from him before heading over to the cafeteria. Jerome immediately started talking again. "Can I please establish for the record that I have never and will never cheat on you, just so I can say I said it?"

"Oh wow, is that how low the bar has fallen now?"

Jerome looked at me sideways. "Mara, you do know I'd never do something like that right?"

I kept my expression aloof. "Well two minutes ago I wasn't aware you thought yourself the most likely cheater in all of Anubis, so I guess I really can't judge can I?"

"Mara." He hopped in front of me, forcing me to stop walking. "I was just surprised, and made a bad joke. I'm sorry."

I pursed my lips, examining his face. His expression was open, and earnest, and a little bit panicked. I sighed. "It's fine, you're forgiven. Just know that if you ever did cheat on me, in our own non-hypothetical universe, I would make you regret it."

Relieved, Jerome shuddered. "I don't even want to contemplate what horrifically humiliating scheme you'd cook up."

I let him put an arm around my shoulders as we made it to the hot water dispenser. Jerome happily did most of the talking on our way back, and before dinner that night I did my homework in the living room, suspiciously eyeing Joy, Fabian, and Nina whenever any of them were in the room. I still couldn't really believe it. Fabian and Nina were a given, like the law of gravity, or Amber's hero-worship of Victoria Beckham. The idea that he would do that to her, and with Joy of all people, was unfathomable. I also wondered who else knew. Definitely Patricia, because Joy told her everything, and it would explain their late-night conversations. Maybe Eddie, but probably not. He was too close to Nina to know and not tell her. Should I tell her? If Jerome had cheated on me, would I want to know about it? Joy had said that Fabian had had sex with her, not that he was having sex with her. Perhaps it had been a one-time lapse in judgement. Maybe Jerome was wrong, and Nina already knew, and she was simply the most forgiving person on the planet. By the time Trudy called us over for dinner, my head was spinning like a top.

The conversation moved along easily enough as it normally did, and at some point found its way to the new music class.

"What topic do you think you'll pick for next class?" Amber asked the table at large, delicately sipping her water.

There were general considering noises. "I'll probably just choose a random song and make something up," Eddie offered.

Patricia snorted. "How meaningful."

Eddie glared at his girlfriend, but his lips twitched slightly upwards. "Like you'll do any better." Patricia gave him a patronizing look, and didn't bother to answer.

"What about you Neens?" Amber prompted.

Nina tilted her head in consideration, fiddling with the ends of her curly hair. "I'll probably do 'Love of My Life'. My parents played it at their wedding."

Amber clapped her hands together and sighed dreamily. "Oh, how romantic," she gushed.

"I think I'll do infidelity," spoke up Joy. I cast Fabian a suspicious glance as he choked on his water, and saw Nina also look at him in confusion.

Jerome leaned forward eagerly, seeking potential conflict like a moth to a flame and I debated stepping on his foot beneath the table. "Please elaborate Joy."

Joy shrugged, her expression resolvedly neutral. "I don't know. A song about how if you really loved the person you were with you never would have cheated on them. Something like that."

Jerome opened his mouth again and I slammed down on his foot so hard he jumped, turning to glare at me. Thankfully, Patricia swung in to steer the conversational boat towards safer waters. "Ten bucks says that pillock Steve chooses 'I'm in Love With My Car'."

The rest of the table chimed in with different guesses for different students, seemingly undisturbed by Joy's declaration. Patricia however, was holding her fork in a white-knuckle grip which I took as confirmation of my earlier suspicions. Joy had definitely told her.

Later that night, for the first time I actually strained my ears to try and pick up on what my roommates were discussing. They were careful to keep their voices as quiet as possible, and both were on the opposite side of the room, but if I held my breath I could make out a few words. The most noticeable were 'Fabian', 'ridiculous', 'idiotic', and what I'm fairly sure was Patricia saying 'never going to happen'. Nina's name might have also come up at some point, but I wasn't sure. By the time they went to bed, my brain was twirling faster than ever.

Every time we did a science lab, Jerome asked me to let Alfie join our group. For some unknown reason, every time he asked, I eventually said yes. It wasn't that I didn't like Alfie, it was just that his train of thought changed stations more often than Amber changed lip glosses, and so he ended up doing half the work for all the credit. He also tried way too hard to be helpful, and was currently banned from handling any chemicals on account of the time he'd almost spilled sulfuric acid all over the desk.

I looked down at my notes again. "What's the temperature at?"

Jerome checked the monitor. "102.8 degrees Celsius."

I nodded, and started writing, muttering to myself. "And human skin burns at 121.1 degrees, so Selenium has a lower melting point."

Eddie, who was walking by to grab a sample of iodine, clicked his tongue. "Unless you want to use real units, in which case it burns at 250."

Jerome gave him a scornful look. "If by real units you mean units used only in America and the Bahamas, then sure Eddie. Real units."

Eddie grinned, giving me a playful wave before heading back to where he and Nina were doing their own lab. My stomach twisted itself into knots. Two days after learning about Fabian's transgressions, and I still hadn't made up my mind on what to do, unsure if I should tell her or not. Jerome said to leave it alone, that it was none of our business, but I felt she had a right to know. Nina and I had never been best friends, but she'd always been nice to me, and I couldn't help but feel guilty for my part in her deception, even as a bystander.

I glanced over at Fabian, who was doing the lab with Patricia. They'd been quietly arguing all class, and I suddenly realized they'd been quietly arguing a lot lately. Knowing what I did, I had a sneaking suspicion she was unhappy with his decision to not tell Nina.

After Jerome and Alfie and I finished, we started cleaning up. Alfie was trying to be helpful as usual, when he accidentally knocked a beaker towards the edge of the table. Sensing disaster, I quickly leaned over to try and catch it, but ended up harshly knocking it onto the floor. I winced as the glass shattered and everyone turned to look over at the noise, my cheeks filling with heat. Jerome clearly thought it was funny and opened his mouth, but I didn't hear whatever he said, my attention drawn to Nina whose face had gone white as paper.

"Nina?" I heard Eddie say her name and he reached over to tap her on the shoulder, but the second his hand made contact she turned and ran, slamming open the classroom door and tearing down the hallway.

Mr. Sweet called her name but Fabian was already rushing out after her before I'd even fully realized what happened, and Eddie, Patricia, and Amber were right on his heels, pausing only to grab their things on the way out. I blinked, unsure if I should follow, but Mr. Sweet shut the door behind them, looking exhausted. "Everyone, back to your tables, nothing to stare at."

We finished cleaning up and started quietly reading textbook chapter thirteen while waiting for the bell to ring. My pulse hammering in my throat, I slowly slid my phone out of my bag and into my lap, texting Amber asking about Nina. Her response came back a few seconds later. Locked herself in the downstairs bathroom, we're not sure why. Fabian's trying to talk her out.

When Sweetie stepped out to take a phone call, I showed the text to Jerome who read it with concern. The bell finally rang, and I grabbed Nina's stuff in addition to my own, Jerome grabbing Fabian's, and we walked quickly out of the classroom. Jerome caught up to me. "Should I take it for granted we're going to be missing our next class period?"

I ignored him, trying not to walk too fast and grab a teacher's attention as we left the building and headed back over to Anubis. Jerome had pulled his phone out. "I'll have Alfie take notes."

When we got back to Anubis Fabian was standing outside the boys' bathroom, talking quietly through the wood, and Patricia, Amber, and Eddie were all in the living room, in the middle of an argument with a furious Victor. Trudy was standing near the table, looking concerned. "It's the middle of the school day, you all have class, you can't just come running in here at the slightest provocation."

"How is she?" Jerome interrupted.

Victor spun around to glare at us, eyes bulging. "You cannot be serious. Ms. Martin is fine, a little wound up surely, but certain dramatics are to be expected from girls her age, I'm sure. Now all of you need to get back to school at once."

Eddie and Patricia started protesting, but before they could get very far something shattered down the hall, and Fabian called out Nina's name in panic.

We all ran over to try and find out what was happening, but no one could see what was happening inside the bathroom. Fabian appeared frantic, as he continually tried the handle. "Nina, Nina open the door, please Nina, just open the door."

With no warning the handle turned and the door swung open, and I craned my neck to see what was happening. Nina was standing in the middle of the bathroom, having apparently just opened the door, and for a moment I couldn't tell what the noise had been. But then my brain registered the blood dripping down her right hand and the damaged mirror on the wall. I looked up at Nina, concerned and a bit scared, but her expression was slightly vacant.

Cautiously, Fabian stepped inside. "Nina?"

At the sound of his voice, her face crumpled and Nina burst into tears as her knees gave out. Fabian caught her before she hit the ground, his arms going around her, whispering things I couldn't hear. Victor seemed slightly unsure of what to do, and settled for shooing us away. "If you're going to insist on staying," he snapped, "you can at least give her some privacy. Trudy, go fetch the First-Aid kit and patch up Ms. Martin."

One step ahead of him, Trudy was already heading to go get it, as the rest of us slowly filed back into the living room, Eddie seeming particularly anxious. "What do you think happened to her?" Patricia asked as we all sat down around the table.

None of us had an answer, and so we settled on pulling out our computers and trying to catch up on what we were missing.

A little while later, Nina, Fabian, and Trudy headed upstairs. I could tell from the sound of muffled sobs that she was still crying. Alfie and Joy showed up after classes ended, both having taken diligent notes and in addition to acquiring copies of all the worksheets. Joy said there had been a pop quiz in government, but we were allowed to make it up tomorrow.

Dinner was a tense affair of cornbread and chili, but none of us really tasted any of it, and the only sound was that of spoons clattering against bowls. Sometime after, Fabian came down, looking exhausted, to grab Nina's schoolbag. We immediately pounced on him, desperate for answers.

"How is she?" Eddie demanded.

"She's managing." Fabian's answer was short, and I could tell he was stressed.

Amber spoke up. "Will she be all right?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to explain to any of us what it is that triggered this little episode?" Jerome asked, sounding curious as well as concerned.

Fabian had just started climbing the stairs, but he turned around to glare at him. "You know that's really none of your business, Jerome."

Jerome scowled, insulted, and I quickly intervened. "He's just worried is all. He asked so that we can make sure we avoid a repeat incident in the future."

Fabian sighed, looking back up at the girls' floor, clearly anxious to get back. But he stayed to give an answer, keeping his voice quiet. "During Halloween, she was hiding in the supply room in the science lab, and Duval broke the window. The sound of the glass breaking, and in that room, it was just too much. That and this whole idea that Duval might not actually have been the one who shot her, and she's understandably freaked out. So just try not drop any more beakers and she should be fine." His tone was tired, and matter-of-fact, but I still felt a flash of guilt as he turned and went back upstairs. My eyes tracked his movements and when he reached the top, I saw Victor watching us through his office window. But he quickly turned back around and walked out of sight.

We all drifted away, and I went to Jerome and Alfie's room to work on copying the notes he and Joy had taken, and to study for the government quiz.

"Must really suck to be Nina lately," Jerome commented eventually.

I looked up from my notebook. "I think you'll have to be more specific."

He shook his head, sitting up against the headboard. I was on the other end of the bed, so we were facing each other. "It's more everything combined, really. She got shot a few weeks ago, is apparently still not over it, and unbeknownst to her, Fabian shagged Joy Mercer."

I sucked on my pen for a moment, deep in thought. "About that. I think you're right, and we shouldn't tell her."

Jerome immediately sat up and cupped a hand around his ear. "I'm sorry, could you say that one more time? I was what?"

I rolled my eyes, unable to help a small grin. "I said, you were right. Happy?"

"Exceedingly so," he winked. "But tell me, what inspired this change of heart?"

I sighed and bit my lip, making sure I had my thoughts in order before speaking. "Well like you said, Nina's just going through so much, and after today, I don't know if she could handle losing Fabian. He was the only one able to get through to her this afternoon, and I don't want her to lose that. Because if she finds out what happened, they'll be over I guarantee it. It may not be permanent, but it'll happen, and I don't know if Nina could afford that right now."

Jerome nodded, adopting a sage expression. "They do have rather codependent tendencies don't they?"

I laughed before I could help it, and smacked his leg. "I think it's sweet how much she loves him."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really? You think she's in love with him?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"What about Fabian?" Jerome leaned forward, curious. "Do you think he loves her?"

I sucked in air through my teeth, considering. "Well he definitely cares for her, and I think he knows what he did with Joy was a mistake. As for love, if he really loved her I'm not sure how he could've done it in the first place."

Jerome shrugged and leaned back, his face pensive. "Maybe he was drunk."

"Unlikely," I disagreed.

I turned back to my notebook, but noticed Jerome was still watching me. I kept my face studiously downward, hoping he would take the hint. I had no idea how the conversation could potentially go.

"Mara?"

Damn it. "Yes?" I didn't look up.

"As long as we're on the topic of things that happened on Halloween, what do you remember from that night? Before everything happened." His voice was careful.

I felt my heart start to pound so hard it might break through my ribs. "What do you mean?"

He sighed through his nose. "I mean we were discussing something that we haven't really brought up since then, and I wanted to talk about it."

I gripped my pen, and reluctantly looked up at him. "Do we have to?"

Jerome sat up and moved himself down the bed so that he was sitting closer to me. "We don't have to, but I want to."

I hoped he kept his eyes on mine, because if they moved even two degrees down he was sure to see my pulse hammering away in my throat. "Did you mean it? When you said… what you said. Did you mean it?"

He nodded. "I meant it."

Every fiber of my being wanted to take him at his word, but still I hesitated to believe him. "You meant what?"

His green eyes were unblinking. "I meant it, when I said I'm in love with you."

My heart froze in my chest. "Say it again."

Jerome placed his hand over mine. I could see his throat bob as he swallowed. "I'm in love with you, Mara Jaffray."

My lungs seemed to forget how to breathe as he kept talking. "I haven't brought it up again because I didn't want you to feel you had to say it back, but I just had to tell you. I love you."

As if I were in a trance, I brought my hand up and ran it through his hair, feeling the silky strands glide across my palm, resting my fingers on the back of his neck. I gently stroked my thumb along the sensitive skin. "I love you too, Jerome."

The second the words left my lips, I felt the truth of them, and a spine-shattering sensation of relief. Jerome hadn't regretted what he'd said that night.

When he registered what I'd said, Jerome's lips curved upwards into the most heartbreakingly gentle smile, and he leaned forward to kiss me. It was like I'd swallowed pure sunlight, warmth traveling through my veins as I brought my other hand up to his shoulder, and his went to my waist. After a few seconds he pulled back, resting his forehead against mine. "Say it again," he whispered, echoing my earlier request.

I pressed my lips to his cheekbone, and dragged them over to his ear. "I love you," I whispered. His fingertips rubbed gentle circles on my back; he was always gentle with me. "I love you," I whispered again. And again, and again, and again.

Jerome laughed, and he said it again too, kissing me, proclaiming his love against my mouth, pulling me up into him. I wanted to freeze time and live in this moment forever, I could die in this moment and be completely content. The rest of the world fell away into nothing, and I let it, unconcerned with anything else. The house could've burned down around us and I wouldn't have noticed, all I cared was Jerome was in love with me.

AN: again, I know. Horrible person. Worst person. Says 'I'm sorry for not updating after a couple weeks and then doesn't update for over a year' person. Well I'm here, I'm alive, and I have a 7k chapter so like. Bye. Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up faster than 13 months. Also I'm thinking about cross-posting this on ao3, tell me what you think.

Favorite, follow and review please. Let me know whose POVs you'd like to see.