Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This story belongs to me.
Warning: You might need tissues towards the end, or the beginning, depending on how weepy you're feeling.
Also, this chapter is ridiculously long. A special thanks to my beta, Leah, for handing this beast and helping with the angst.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Goodbye…For Now
The four of us rode from the reception back to beach house in relative silence, likely due to the sheer exhaustion each of us felt combined with the removal of Alice's incessant chatter. As Emmett drove through the streets of Charleston, I wasn't sure what I preferred—the constant banter between Alice and…everyone, or the calm serenity of the summer evening. The farther we drove, the more I leaned toward Alice—at least the conversations she always deemed necessary distracted me from my thoughts. Right now, my thoughts were not uplifting me like my best friend's comments tended to do; as hard as I tried, I couldn't keep my mind from drifting to my impending separation from Edward.
Apparently, Edward's thoughts were traveling down the same path as mine, if the desperate way his arms were wrapped around my body was any indication. With one arm draped over my shoulder and the other snaked around my waist, he was clinging to me like a life preserver. Not that I was any better, having intertwined my fingers with his and leaning into his embrace as he crushed me into his side. By the time we pulled into the driveway, his lips had joined in on the action, pressing almost non-stop against the heated skin of my neck.
"Edward," I sighed at Emmett and Rose climbed out of the car, slamming the doors shut behind them. "We have to go inside."
"No," he mumbled against my skin. "Let's stay right here."
"We have to spent time with Rose and Emmett," I weakly protested as his tongue darted out to lay a path across my shoulder before the kisses resumed in earnest.
"No. Time. With. Anyone. Else." Each grumbled word was punctuated with a kiss. "Just you," he finished, lifting his head to meet my gaze.
Even though I was sitting, my knees felt weak as I absorbed the desperate look in his eyes. Edward was radiating pure desire—desire to stay with me, desire to take me upstairs and claim me, desire to ignore the outside world and stay in our precious, perfect bubble; sweet God in heaven, Edward Cullen craved me, and I him. It took everything I had in me not to climb into his lap and tell him to forget about Emmett and Rose, forget about Chicago, and forget about everything but me and the feel of our skin when it touched.
"Just a few minutes, then you can have me all night," I assured him weakly as I attempted to peel his arms away from my body, the short sentence taking more to say that I could have imagined. If I didn't separate from him soon, I would likely have trouble remembering who Emmett and Rosalie were, much less why we should spend time with them.
"It's starting to rain," he stated randomly.
"And?" I asked, confused by the outburst as I moved my hand to rest it on the handle of the door.
"I have fond memories of the rain," he moved to place a kiss in the middle of my chest, covering my hand with his to stop me from opening the door. "Of you in the rain."
My body flushed as the memory of the first night we were together. Had it really been less than a week? Suddenly, I found myself unable to remember what life felt like before Edward and I stumbled into this easy, loving relationship.
"Mmm," I agreed as I recalled the feel of his hard body pressing me against the side of the vehicle, my leg hitched around his waist as the rain drenched our bodies. "So do I."
"Wanna make more?" He was good, too good, because I came seconds from completely forgetting that I had promised the couple inside that we would spend time with them. In that moment, nearly all I could think, all I could breathe, was…Edward.
I buried a hand in his hair and lifted his head from where he had buried it in my cleavage. "Edward," I groaned, forcing his eyes to meet mine. "We have to go inside."
"No we don't," he protested, attempting to lower his head once more. I firmly held onto his hair to keep him in place.
"We have a promised visit to see each other, right?"
He nodded.
"Who knows when we'll see Emmett and Rose after this weekend. It'll probably be an entire year from now, don't you think?"
Another nod, this one more resigned due to my pleading. How in the Hell did I become the voice of reason?
"Thirty minutes," I stated simply, not willing to give them any more time than that. Yes, they were my dear friends, but it wasn't their touch, their kiss that I would be missing when I was in my bed, alone, in a city bustling with love and opportunity.
"Thirty minutes and that's it," Edward countered with a knowing smirk. "I get you alone for the rest of the night."
I grinned at his eagerness. "I'm all yours, babe."
xXx
Emmett and Rose were waiting in the living room when we stepped inside after pausing briefly on the stairs, the rain and the desperation that we felt compelling us to stop and share a long, wet kiss in the middle of the outdoor stairwell before making our way into the house.
"You look like drowned rats," Rose commented dryly when she noticed our arrival.
"Good thing the tux is going to the cleaners first thing Monday morning," Edward joked as he fell onto the couch before pulling me into his lap, both of us soaking wet but not caring enough to seek out towels and fresh clothes. Not yet, anyway.
"Good thing I'm only wearing this dress once," I added with a chuckle as I toed off the heels that had been eating at my feet all day, noticing that Rose and Emmett had changed into more comfortable clothing. I hoped the change in attire didn't mean that they were expecting us to hang out with them for an extended period of time, because we definitely had other plans.
"Yes, it's a very good thing," Edward mumbled into my ear as he fingered the hem of my dress. I swatted his hand away playfully, unable to contain my blush as he huskily added, "Because I can't guarantee what it'll look like when I'm through with you."
Rose and Emmett were narrowing their eyes in our direction.
"Are we, uh, do you want to just, you know…go upstairs? Get a room?" Emmett asked with a suggestive wink.
"Yes," Edward said emphatically. I turned to glared at him before firmly stating, "No, we want to see the two of you."
"We really would understand…" Rose inserted before adding sarcastically, "I mean, we'll see you in a year."
"A year is too long. There's no telling what could happen in a year. Which is why we're staying down here," I explained, answering for both Edward and myself.
"For thirty minutes…well, twenty-eight now," Edward inserted, wincing as I pinched him in the thigh for making our friends feel unimportant.
I rolled my eyes as he reacted dramatically to the small bit of pain. "Yes, well, someone's a little eager."
He simply shrugged in response to my statement, shooting a knowing smirk in Rose and Emmett's direction.
Turning to Rose, I spoke in an attempt to distract myself from the man that was doing his best to engross me. "So, thoughts on today?" I asked, launching us into a discussion of the highlights of the day.
"It was beautiful. Perfect. Magical. Alice outdid herself and I don't think that I've seen Jasper smile that much in one day before," Rose answered quickly before Edward or Emmett could even attempt to get a word in. "Oh, and I loved the lanterns dangling from the trees. They looked so completely different than when we saw them this morning."
"I loved the lanterns, too! Could you believe the transformation from when we were there earlier? I guess with the guests and the bridal party everything just…fell into place."
"It did," Rose agreed before shaking her head back and forth, a look of dismay on her face. "I just…I can't believe my brother is married."
"Sometimes, I completely forget he's your brother. That must have been surreal…"
Rose shrugged. "It was definitely emotional. But, you know, I couldn't have handpicked someone more perfect for him. God, what if he had married some bitch that I hated?"
Emmett snorted as the three of us silently accepted her statement. "I still can't believe that Jasper cried while saying his vows."
Rose slapped her palm against the back of his head. "Ass," she said. "It's an intense moment."
"Yeah," Edward inserted. "Just wait, I bet that you'll cry like a baby on your wedding day."
"I will not," Emmett stated, folding his arms across his chest.
"Wanna bet?" Edward challenged him, raising his eyebrows and sticking out his right hand for Emmett to shake.
"Yeah. Yeah, I do. A hundred bucks says that when I make Rose honest one day that I don't shed a tear," he said, extending his hand to shake Edward's.
"You've got a deal, big man."
"We'll see who has to pay," Emmett said lightly as he pulled his hand away.
"Speaking of making Rose an honest woman…" I trailed off, my words lingering in the air as I trained my gaze on Emmett.
He fucking blushed before asking in a dumfounded tone, "What?"
"I think she's asking if you're going to pop the question any time soon," Rose explained with a small smile on her face.
"Oh, I knew that baby," he said, leaning over to plant a kiss on her cheek. "But you know that's a secret."
"Uh huh," Rose answered, seemingly unconvinced. "A fucking state secret."
"Baby, when I propose, it's going to dazzle you."
"Dazzle me?" She seemed skeptical.
He nodded confidently. "Just be prepared…"
"I've been prepared for two years, Em."
"Hush woman," he sighed, shuffling a few feet to his left to pull Rose against his side. "I'm just getting all of my ducks in a row."
Edward's laughter broke my eyes away from the exchange in front of me. "Are you afraid she'll say no, man?"
"He knows I won't say no," Rose sighed dreamily as she wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Besides, we're in no rush."
"Don't you want to plan a wedding?" I asked, suddenly being struck with the desire to plan a wedding of my own.
"That's what Alice is for," Rose answered with a giggle. "Honestly, Emmett and I would be content to head down to Vegas, right baby?"
"No," he argued. "We're going to have a big ass wedding followed by a big ass party. I want to show you off in a white dress that I know you'll look ridiculously hot in."
"Hah, white," I joked, earning a playful glare from Rose as Edward accused, "And that, my man, is why I'm going to win the bet."
"Because I want a big wedding?"
"Because you're kind of a pussy," Edward explained before pulling me closer against him, using my body as a shield against Emmett.
"Yeah, use Bella to protest yourself. I suggest you sleep with one eye open," Emmett attempted to state with anger in his voice, though I could see a smile hinting at the corner of his lips.
"Boys," Rose cut in, holding up her hands to halt them. "Enough acting like children."
"Back to today," I said loudly, attempting to reign the conversation in as Edward leaned up and whispered, "Eight minutes left," in my ear.
Shaking my head back and forth to regain my composure despite my body's reaction to his breath against my skin, I demanded, "Okay, y'all, short and sweet—one at a time, let's share our favorite moment of the day."
"You sound like Alice," Rose commented.
I glared at her before stating quickly, "I'll go first. My favorite part of today was watching Alice and Jasper share their first dance; their joy was literally bouncing off of their faces. Okay, Rose, you go."
"Okay, um…" she trailed off, tapping her finger against her chin. "I loved seeing my brother so ridiculously happy, from beginning to end. Also, being able to officially call Alice my sister at the reception. That was a sweet moment."
"You called her your sister?" I asked, my voice low as I felt tears fill my eyes in response to the tenderness of the moment.
"I did," she confirmed, tears threatening to appear in her own eyes. "Okay, Emmett, your favorite moment."
He took his precious time before cheerfully answering, "I was going to say when Jasper cried—because it was a sweet moment—but I know you hard asses won't believe me now, so…the second best was when little one got her dress dirty in the ocean. That was priceless!"
"I still can't believe she did that," Rose drawled. "It was so out of character."
"I thought it was epic," Emmett boomed. "So, yeah, there you go. Edward?"
Edward sighed, his eyes lingering on mine as he considered his answer. I could tell by the look he was shooting in my direction that the odds of his answer reducing me to a puddle of goo were very, very high.
"I uh…" he paused, blinking rapidly several times before continuing. "The look on Jasper's face when he saw Alice for the first time, standing at the end of the aisle in her dress with this huge smile on her face, only for him. It was a cool moment."
"I didn't even think of glancing at Jasper when Alice walked down the aisle," I commented, realizing that Edward was probably the only one that thought to take in the groom's reaction to his bride.
"He was just…in awe of her, the woman he was going to call his wife," Edward explained with a small smile.
As he finished speaking, I turned to face him, our eyes meeting in a searing gaze that had me daydreaming, wondering what his face might look like if I was the one to walk down the aisle in a white dress, taking my last steps as a single woman. Would he be in awe of me, as Jasper was of Alice? Would I be able to see his breath hitch when we locked eyes? I could almost see him, his mouth set in a smile that looked like his face would split in two, his eyes shining with love, his body practically glowing with the happiness we both felt as I walked toward him, my forever. Losing myself in his green orbs, I lost track of everything around us. That is, until Emmett interrupted.
"So, your city next year, Bella?" He asked, clearing his throat.
"Yeah, I mean, that's what we agreed on before, right?" I answered slowly, pulling my eyes away from Edward's to return my attention to my friends. As I spoke, I suddenly began to doubt my offer. Did I want to be in New York City a year from now if it meant being apart from the man I had come to love?
Rose narrowed her eyes, obviously catching on to my doubt laced in my tone.
"Are you sure? I mean, everyone could come out west to Em and me." The look she shot me told me that, though she had offered a solution to my maybe-problem, we would be discussing my odd answer in the future.
"No," I shook my head back and forth, shaking the doubt away. "New York is fine. Isn't it?" I turned my head to ask Edward, as if he had a say in my life a year from now.
He nodded, smiling at me. "New York is perfect."
"Well, I'm sure that as soon as we get our calendars to Alice it'll all be planned," Emmett joked, obviously attempting to lighten the suddenly heavy mood.
"That's for sure," Edward agreed, his light laughter making my back shake against his chest.
As Edward and Emmett bantered back and forth about Alice and the trip that would, no doubt, include too much shopping for their manly psyches to handle, I glanced at the clock. The eight minutes that Edward had warned me of earlier were long past and, suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be alone with Edward. It was as if, in that single moment, every emotion I had been bottling up throughout the day—love, fear, hope, longing, happiness—were threatening to bubble over.
Turning to face him, I mouthed, 'Ready to go upstairs?'
He lifted his hips in response, his hardness pressing into my backside and, just like that, the room was no longer gloomy, instead charged with a buzzing sexual tension. Maybe it was just Edward and I, but I could have sworn I witnessed a heated look between the other couple. Biting back a moan, I faced Emmett and Rose again, a sly smile on my face. Emmett was shaking his head back in forth knowingly as Rose smirked.
"We're, uh…upstairs," I stated dumbly as Edward stood, not bothering to put me down before moving towards the stairs.
"Goodnight, see you in the morning," I called as he adjusted my body so that he was carrying me like a monkey, my arms sliding around his neck as my legs wound around his waist, my dress bunching awkwardly around my thighs.
After climbing the stairs two at a time, Edward kicked open the door to his room and carried me inside. Assuming that we were headed straight for the bed, Edward surprised me when he didn't stop moving until we were in front of the French doors leading to balcony.
"It's raining, remember?" I asked as I slid off of him to place my feet on the floor so that he could pull the doors open.
"I remember," he stated simply as I gazed longingly at the inviting bed.
"Then why…" My sentence died off when he turned around swiftly, wrapping his arms around my waist again as he pulled my body to his before stepping onto the balcony. Before my body could comprehend that it was in the rain, Edward's lips were forcefully on mine in a searing kiss that took my breath away.
As the rain fell against our skin, Edward slowly pulled away and placed his hands on either side of my face, smirking down at me as we both attempting to catch our breath.
"Do you remember our first night together? How needy and urgent we were? I didn't take my time with you, Bella, didn't show you how much you mean to me, how much you have always meant to me, first as a friend and now…this."
"You did, Edward," I shook my head back and forth, wondering where desperation in his voice was coming from. "There was no doubt in my mind how you…"
He stopped me with a chaste kiss. "Let me finish, please," he pleaded, closing his eyes briefly.
I bit my lip and nodded for him to continue.
"I brought you out here, pretty girl, to ask for a fresh start, a new beginning. This week has been, well, it's been pretty damn perfect and so much more than I imagined when I first heard of the trip. But tomorrow, everything changes. I go back to Chicago, you go back to New York, and it's going to be hard, Bella, really hard. I won't be able to kiss you whenever I want," he briefly touched his lips to mine. "Or touch you, or hold you," he continued, moving his hands from my face to slide them slowly up and down my sides, his fingers dancing across my fabric-covered skin.
"I know that we've agreed to make this work long distance and I have no doubt in my mind that we will, because what we have is something so special and unique but, Bella, I just…God, this sounds so juvenile…I just, I want to go back to Chicago knowing that you're mine."
"You know I'm yours," I cut in, lifting my hands to frame his face with my fingers, tracing them along his jaw.
He narrowed his eyes. "I want to call you my girlfriend."
"Your girlfriend?" I asked, my eyes widening with shock. "And you'd be my boyfriend?"
He nodded slowly, doubt creeping into his features.
"It sounds kind of silly," I admitted, despite the fact that it was also one of the most endearing things I had heard him say.
His face fell with disappointment.
"I mean, if you don't want to, I understand. I mean, some people are kind of turned off by titles…" He trailed off, his head falling forward so that he could study the ground nervously.
I grabbed his chin between my thumb and forefinger, lifting his head once more. "No, I want to it's just…I feel like this is so much more than that. Of course I want to be your girlfriend, Edward."
"It is more than that," he agreed with a wide smile. "So much more than that."
In that moment, I wanted to say the words, the three words that had been on the tip of my tongue all evening. I loved him. I knew that I loved him and, though I didn't necessarily need to hear the words come from his mouth, I was pretty sure that he loved me too. His perfect words, his reverent touch, the look in his eyes every time they met mine, all told me that his love for me was deep, real.
Though my brain screamed that it was too soon for such a serious declaration, my heart told me that it was time.
Lifting onto my toes, I wrapped my arms tightly around Edward's neck and leveled my face with his. "Edward," I sighed before pressing a kiss onto his nose, his forehead, his chin. I wanted him to feel my love before I shared it with him so that if there was any doubt in my voice, my actions would prove my sincerity.
His eyes fluttered shut as I peppered every inch of his face with kisses, his breathing becoming shallow and labored. "Open your eyes," I ordered lightly.
As his deep green eyes met mine, I whispered the words that I was too scared to speak any louder. "I love you," I stated simply, my voice strong and confident despite the fact that I felt like my heart was doing somersaults beneath my ribcage.
His eyes widened with shock briefly before beginning to search mine, no doubt seeking out confirmation that the words I had uttered were genuine.
"Bella," he breathed, my name rolling off his tongue with relief, as his eyes darkened, no doubt having found whatever they were searching for. In an instant, his arms were around my waist, pulling me against him, as he buried his face in my hair.
"I love you," he sighed. "So much."
"You do? You mean, it's not too soon?" I asked, suddenly doubtful. Though I trusted my heart, I suddenly was flooded with memories of the last man I had loved, the man that said he loved me, but that I now knew had said whatever he thought would keep me around.
"No baby, it's not too soon," Edward said, leaning back to look at me in response to my doubtful tone.
"Are you sure? I mean, it hasn't even been a week…" I was shaking my head back and forth, my eyes on the ground. "We aren't just getting caught up in all of the wedding hoopla, are we?"
"Bella," he said, lifting his hands to frame my face again as he lifted it back up. "Stop doubting yourself, doubting this. I'm not him, sweetheart. I don't say things I don't mean. "
I nodded, my eyes falling to the floor even though the rest of my face was trained forward.
"Pretty girl," he pleaded, "what do I need to do to convince you that this is real?"
I looked up at him through my eyelashes, and the frown on his face broke my heart. Truly, the thought of my doubt hurt him. It was then, suddenly, that I knew he was being honest, that he truly did love me. I also knew that I loved him; I felt silly for even thinking of second-guessing myself when, just moments before, I had been completely sure of my love for him.
"You're right," I stated confidently. "I'm being ridiculous."
His frown diminished slightly. "I wasn't going to say that…" He smirked.
"You were thinking it," I countered, feeling my lips twitch into a smile. "Regardless, I do love you Edward…so much that it's almost hard to believe."
Edward smiled; his grin so wide that I worried his lips might permanently freeze in their cheery position. Sliding my hands slowly up his neck and into his wet hair, I lifted myself against him and planted my lips on his, wasting no time before sliding my tongue across his lower lip and into his warm mouth. Now that those three, sacred words had been said out loud and confirmed, I wanted the physical act of our love to take over. Words would sustain our time apart, but while we were together I wanted to feel his love.
Edward sighed into my mouth, moving his hands into my hair despite the up-do held in place by enough hairspray to singlehandedly deplete the ozone that Alice had insisted upon, our tongues moving together slowly, making silent promises for the future that were based on the words we had just exchanged. Gently, I pulled my lips away from his and nibbled a line across his jaw until my lips met his ear and I pulled his lobe between my teeth.
Edward moaned at the sensation as he removed his hands from my wet hair, trailing them down my body to my hips. Pulling me against him, he murmured into my ear, "Let's go inside and get dried off, love."
I nodded numbly in response to his request, my mouth refusing to leave the sweet spot on his neck it had recently settled upon. With his hips, Edward slowly began to nudge me towards to the door until, finally, the rain was no longer pounding against our heated skin. It wasn't until I was without the water that I realized it had continued to fall, so caught up in Edward and the feel of his hard chest against mine that everything else had fallen away.
Once we were inside, I reluctantly pulled my lips away to work on removing his clothing, wanting to feel his bare chest against mine, to make a memory of his chest muscles as they brushed against my breasts.
"This is going to be tricky," I sighed as I began to peel the wet dress shirt away from his skin. Urgently, my fingers found the buttons, but couldn't open them deftly due to the water's pruning effect. Sighing with defeat, I placed my hands on either side of the shirt and tore it open, surprising Edward and myself with my strength as buttons flew across the room.
"Damn, baby," Edward sighed as I lifted the wet fabric from his skin.
I shrugged. "Hope it wasn't expensive…" I stated ruefully, though I wasn't at all sorry for my actions.
"Fuck, I'll buy a hundred of those shirts if you'll do that to them," he breathed, his hooded eyes following my movements.
"That can be arranged," I winked, sliding the shirt off his shoulders and placing an open-mouthed kiss on the center of his strong chest before dragging my tongue lower.
"Turn around," Edward hissed as my tongue met his happy trail, tugging on my shoulders in an effort to straighten my body.
I stood slowly, my tongue retracing its previous path before doing as Edward had requested. Turning so that my back was facing him, I sighed as his fingers worked the pins out of my hair, allowing it to fall, tendril by tendril, onto my shoulders. Once my hair was free, he brushed it over my shoulder before placing his mouth on the base of my neck, trailing reverent kisses down my spine before stopping at the top of my dress.
As his lips met the fabric, he lifted his fingers, dragging them slowly across my skin before opening the small button at the top, then leisurely sliding the zipper down, and I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips. His touch was so careful, so loving, that I couldn't stop myself.
"Edward," I breathed for no reason other than to say his name as his fingers slid down my back, taking my dress with them.
"Yes, my pretty girl?" He asked, brushing the dress away from my body before pushing the wet fabric off my body and onto the floor.
I turned around, needing to see him in front of me now that my dress had been discarded. His hands didn't leave my body as I whirled around to face him, simply trailing across my skin before settling on my hips. With a smile, I stepped forward, sliding my fingers along the waistband of his dress pants before bringing them together in the middle, my eyes focused on his waist as I made quick work of his black belt. After sliding it through the loops, I tossed it to the floor, savoring the way that his pants hung low on his thin hips.
"Fuck," Edward hissed as I lightly trailed my fingers over the bulge in his crotch before undoing the button and pulling his zipper down. Sliding my hands across his pelvic bone, I buried my hand beneath his pants, inside the elastic of his boxers, and slowly moved both items of clothing down his legs.
After kicking off the dress shoes he was still wearing, he stepped out of his pants and boxers, still refusing to remove his hands from my body, moving to stretch his fingers across the small of my back.
"Edward," I moaned when he pulled me forward, my aching center coming in contact with his exposed hardness.
"Yes, love," he asked, his lips attaching themselves to my collarbone.
"Make love to me," I requested, my request full of emotion as he lavished attention on my clavicle.
He nodded, gulping nervously as he lifted his head from my skin, his eyes full of adoration as they met mine. Moving to slide his arms around my shoulders, his lips captured mine. Our kisses were slow and loving, much like his touch earlier, as we both attempted to take our time, to truly show each other our love. As our tongues met, Edward pulled us towards the bed, his hands everywhere—my hips, my back, my shoulders, my breasts—as we moved. My own hands found purchase in his hair that I loved so much, my fingers moving through the strands as he moaned softly against my lips. In one quick movement, he grabbed my hips and turned, lifting me effortlessly onto the bed.
As I felt the comforter meet my back, Edward stretched his body over mine, his mouth moving to my neck, my collarbone, as he alternated between open-mouthed kisses and little nibbles on my skin. His hands moved to make quick work of my strapless bra before tossing it across the room carelessly.
"So beautiful," he murmured as his mouth moved to wrap around my left nipple.
I gasped at the sensation, my hands resting on his shoulders as he lavished attention on my breasts before moving to my stomach. When his tongue darted out against my thigh, I moaned, lifting my hips in an effort to move his mouth where I wanted it.
"Be patient, pretty girl," he breathed against my skin, his breath hot against my center.
I groaned, moving my hands to his hair as his tongue continued to touch my skin everywhere except where I most wanted. "Please," I pleaded, my fingers tugging on his silky strands.
He chuckled lightly against me before sliding up my body so that we were face to face again. "Tell me what you want," he demanded before burying his head in my neck, his lips attaching to the sweetest spot beneath my ear, making me cry out in ecstasy. It was good, so, so good.
"You, Edward, I just want you," I moaned as his fingers trailed down my chest, across my stomach, until finally dancing across the top of my panties, sliding them as far down my legs as he possibly could without moving. Helping him, I slid my legs back and forth against each other, finally kicking the small scrap of silk across the room.
My head fell back as his fingers trailed across my wetness, but I wanted more, needed more. "I…you, inside of me," I panted as his fingers brushed across my clit, causing my hips to buckle up in anticipation. I was already so ready, so eager for him that I couldn't imagine containing my hunger for his body much longer.
"I want you," he murmured against my neck, finally pulling his lips away from where I was sure there would be a mark against my skin the next morning. "Oh, pretty girl, I want you so badly."
"Then have me," I stated confidently, sliding my hands across his muscled back before moving them around his hips and down, wrapping my fingers around his hard cock. He moaned at the sensation as I pumped my hand up and down several times, his breath increasing as I felt him begin to pulse against my fingers.
"Stop," he growled, his voice deep and lusty as his eyes met mine, hooded and dark. "Or I won't be inside of you when I come," he stated, his voice pleading with me to slow down, to allow him to take his time loving me that night. He wanted to, I realized, say goodbye for now in the best way he knew how.
I nodded, my eyes moving across his beautiful face before removing my hand from him and sliding it up his side, my fingers stopping to lavish attention on the rivets of his muscles. With a groan, he sat back on his heels, pulling my legs together before bending my knees and sliding them apart, opening me up for him. Falling forward again, he rested his elbows on either side of my head before slowly sliding into me, both of us moaning at the sensation of being joined again. I fleetingly realized that if we were this elated to be together after only being apart for one night, then the next several weeks were going to be pure Hell.
We were silent as we began to move against each other, both of us breathing heavily as I slowly moved my legs to wrap them tightly around his waist. Edward's thrusts were tender, gentle…but I craved more.
"Harder, love," I panted against his shoulder.
He complied, moving one of his arms from beside my head to wrap it around my thigh, pulling both of my legs higher, affording us a deeper position as he began to move more quickly. Without realizing what I was doing, my lips found his shoulder and my teeth sunk into his skin, biting against him as I felt my walls start to tighten around his cock.
Edward moaned, whether in response to my impulsive action or the feel of where our bodies were joined I wasn't sure, increasing his speed as I placed a kiss over my mistake before moving my head to mesh our lips together.
"I'm so close," he mumbled between kisses, "Come for me, Bella, I need you to come."
I nodded before capturing his bottom lip between mine and lifting my hips to meet his before suddenly, "Edward, I'm…I…" I couldn't find words as I came, my body going completely still before collapsing in a heap of euphoria as Edward continued to pump into me, his breathing labored as sweat, or leftover raindrops, dripped from his forehead onto my chest.
"That's good, Bella, so fucking good, I'm right there…" he murmured before falling over the edge himself, spilling his seed into me in several long spurts before collapsing on top of me, his weight comfortable and warm against my weak body.
After a moment, he attempted move to roll onto his side, no doubt removing wanting to remove his comforting weight from me. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck, clenching me legs around his waist. "Stay," I pleaded, wanting him close to me before he was a thousand miles away. "Just…stay."
"Whatever you want, pretty girl, I'll give it to you." His voice was so full of promise, I wanted to beg him to never leave, to forget about everything in Chicago, but I bit my words back.
"Say it again," I urged instead, wanting to hear his declaration from earlier.
He grinned proudly before simply stating, "I love you," he whispered, his voice thick.
"And I love you," I echoed, lifting my arms to brush the hair that was sticking to his forehead away. "Without a doubt," I promised, believing my own words.
After placing a kiss on my nose, he looked down at me with a mischievous smirk, his usual joking tone making a return. "We're pretty damn good aren't we?" He asked and I was relieved that the evening wasn't going to be completely overtaken with heady emotions.
I nodded, my own lips pulling into a smirk of my own as I held on to the recent memory of our lovemaking, hiding it away for a rainy day when I needed to recall his touch, his kiss. "I'd say we're pretty fucking spectacular."
"Um, did you…bite me?" He asked carefully, his fingers trailing across the mark I had left on his shoulder as he gazed down at the mark.
I lifted my hands to cover my blushing face, hoping that the redness spreading across my body could be passed off as exertion. Yeah, definitely something I wouldn't forget. "I, uh…"
"It's okay if you did, pretty girl," he cooed, his voice encouraging.
"Really?" I asked shyly.
He nodded. "Really," he confirmed before lifting himself up and slowly pulling out of me. "Uh, can I move now?" he asked.
I giggled and pushed playfully on his shoulder. "Yes, get off me, fatty," I joked.
"That hurts," he feigned pain as he tugged me over to rest across his body. "I think you need to kiss it and make it better."
"I can do that," I said before placing a kiss on top of where his heart beat rhythmically beneath his skin.
No words were spoken as I settled into his side, my arm draped across his midsection as I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and inhaling the distinct scent that embodied him—in it, I found warmth and comfort and love.
"When does your flight leave?" He asked after several quiet minutes, his fingers trailing across my arm as he finally asked for the details of our separation, a moment I had been anticipating with dread for days.
"Hmm, around ten. I have to leave the house around eight to get through security and everything."
"That's early," he commented.
I opened my eyes, resting my head on my elbow as I absorbed the frown on his face. "I wanted to get back so I could catch up on work. It was before, you know…"
"Me?" He asked, smirking proudly.
"Yes, it was before you." I giggled at his confidence.
"Can't you change it?"
I considered his request for a moment, wanting nothing more than to extend our time together, but knowing that it would be impossible while only prolonging the inevitable. "Probably not this late," I stated sadly. "Why, when does your flight leave?"
"Not until the afternoon," he answered. "Around four, I think."
"So you'll be here all alone until then?"
He shook his head back and forth. "I think Rose and Em are staying until Monday morning, so I can hang with them."
I sighed before lying back down against him. "When are you coming to New York?" I asked carefully, wanting to change the subject to a happier topic, choosing to focus on being together again instead of saying goodbye.
"What's your work schedule like?"
"Flexible," I answered quickly. "I mean, I don't have any major commitments coming up."
He was quiet, seeming to ponder this. "My parents are coming into town this weekend, then I start classes back the week after that. Maybe three weekends from now?"
"That sounds like an eternity," I whined into his neck. "But it'll have to do." Already, I was dreading the idea of a long distance relationship with Edward. As I savored the feel of his body against mine, I knew that I was entering foreign territory—the long distance relationship I had had with Jake was based on familiarity, not on love and devotion. Our separation was going to be…hard.
I suddenly hated Chicago, and medical school, and Jake for taking up my time in New Haven, and Tanya for being a bitch and…
"I'm sorry, pretty girl," he stated, turning his head to catch my eyes in his and draw me back from my internal rant. "I don't like this any more than you do."
I bit my lip as my eyes began to fill with tears. "I want you to be closer," I said, moving to straddle him as I wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting to be as close as physically possible.
"Bella, love, look at me," he pleaded as I slowly lifted my head from his chest. "You're crying," he stated the obvious.
I blinked, attempting to send the tears away, only succeeding in sending them down my cheeks instead. It was impossible for me to fathom, in the span of ten minutes, how I had gone from being horrified over the fact that I had bit him to feeling so many other, deeper emotions that I could barely contain them.
"I don't like it when you cry." He lifted his hands to brush my falling tears away with his thumbs.
I shook my head back and forth. "I don't like crying."
"Then don't," he begged. "Please."
"I can't help it," I whined, my voice rising in pitch as the tears increased. "I just…I can't."
"It's okay, pretty girl," he sighed, pulling me against his chest as I soaked his skin with my tears. I could hear the heaviness in his voice, feel that he was attempting to convince himself at the same time that he convinced me.
"Soon, right?" I asked hopefully.
"So soon you'll wonder where the time went," he stated, his tone encouraging, hopeful.
I disagreed completely. "Doubtful," I countered. "But we'll have to make it work."
"Make it work," he echoed, attempting to imitate Tim Gunn, no doubt hoping that his joke would lighten the atmosphere.
"You did not just bring Tim Gunn into the bedroom…" I challenged, feeling my frown lines disappear as his chest vibrated with laughter. Before I could catch myself, I was laughing as well.
"I did," he confirmed. "Too far?"
"Maybe not if we were Alice and Jasper," I giggled. "But definitely because we're Bella and Edward."
"Bella and Edward," he sighed. "I really like the sound of that."
"Well, I really like you." I pulled myself up to place a kiss on his lips.
"Well, I love you," he retorted when I removed my lips from his.
I gazed down at him, aware that I looked like the lovesick woman that I was as I greedily poured over his chiseled features. "It's a good thing I love you too, then, huh?"
xXx
The next morning, I woke up in an empty bed. Sitting up, I noticed that Edward's suitcase was packed and waiting by the door. Shit, I haven't packed. Jumping out of bed, I pulled on the nearest shirt of Edward's that I could find, the one from the previous night. Of course, after looking down and remembering why there were no buttons to be buttoned, I flushed before sliding it off and pulling on another one. Really, they all smelled of his sweet scent, so I wasn't picky in regards to what I used to cover my nakedness.
After adjusting the second shirt, I dashed down the hall to find my bedroom door already open. "Edward?" I called, knowing he was the only one that could possibly be rummaging through my room.
"In here," he called from the bathroom.
"What are you…" I trailed off when I found him bent over, pulling my things from the small drawers and placing them in my toiletry bag. "You don't have to do that."
"I don't mind," he shrugged, a warm smile on his face. "Plus, I woke up at sunrise, literally, and couldn't go back to sleep. I thought you might like a little extra sleep before we have to get to the airport."
"Thank you," I said, stepping forward and wrapping my arms around him from behind. "What time is it now?" I asked, my voice slightly muffled by his back.
"A little after seven," he answered as I pulled away slowly, bending over and burying his head beneath the sink to grab a bottle of lotion.
I nodded, accepting his answer, before moving into the bedroom to gather my clothes together. As I began to toss shirts and dresses and whatever the hell I had brought with me haphazardly into my suitcase, I called out to Edward, "By the way, why is your suitcase already packed? You're flight doesn't leave for hours."
"I, uh, I'm just going to go to the airport with you."
I halted my movements, completely dazzled by his consideration. "Are you sure?" As thrilled as I was at the prospect of spending a couple of extra hours with him, I hated the idea of him sitting in an airport for six unnecessary hours.
"I'm sure" he said as he stepped out of the bathroom, my toiletry bag hanging from a finger. "Here."
"You're going to be at the airport for hours," I murmured as I took the bag from him, dropping it into my suitcase in the same manner in which my clothes had been falling. "Are you sure you want to subject yourself to that torture?"
"I don't mind, really. Plus, you know that if you drive yourself, you're going to be crying the entire way there and I can't risk you driving in that state."
"Who says I'll be crying?" I asked, pulling my lower lip nervously between my teeth because he knew me too well. There would certainly be crying, and a lot of it. In fact, I could feel the tears threaten as I simply imagined the moment we would say goodbye.
No, not yet, don't ruin the entire morning. The moment was too sweet and light to taint with tears. Standing straighter as Edward began to speak, I told myself to enjoy the present and save the pain that was coming for later; there was no point, I realized, in dragging it out.
"I do," he answered confidently, stepping forward and sliding an arm around my waist. "Plus, we can spend a couple of extra hours together and I can wait at your gate with you until you have to board. That way, you won't have to sit alone and cry."
"You think I'm going to be torn up over you, huh Cullen?" I joked, poking him in the chest.
"Yes." His voice was full of self-assurance. "At least, I hope you are."
"Why's that?"
"Because, I love you," he paused. "And because—if you repeat this to Emmett I will have your ass, Swan—I'll probably shed a tear or two, as well."
My eyebrows lifted in response to his confession. "Is that right?"
"It's the honest truth," he answered earnestly.
"Well in that case…" I trailed off, biting my lip again. "I think it's completely necessary that we share airport weepy-time."
"Airport weepy-time?" He chuckled.
"Yes, airport weepy-time. It makes it sound better, more like nap time than something sad."
"Speaking of time, are you done almost here?" He nodded towards my closet and dresser.
"Almost," I said, pointing to the messy suitcase at my feet. "I just have a few more things to toss in."
"Is everything going to fit?" He asked, looking at me skeptically.
"Yes," I answered hotly. "I'll make it fit."
"I think there are some things you're forgetting in my room…" He trailed off suggestively.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion until I remembered: the lingerie. "Save it for when I come to Chicago," I offered lightly.
"You're coming to Chicago?" he asked, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree.
"Of course," I stated as I turned to disassemble my underwear drawer. "You come to New York, I come to Chicago, it's only fair."
"God, I love you," he sighed, leaning in to kiss my forehead before moving quickly towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
"To pack my new favorite things," he explained before disappearing.
"You better not do anything dirty to my pretty things," I called after him, giggling at his excitement as I tossed a bra into my suitcase.
"Wouldn't dream of it," he yelled back, laughter in his voice as it carried down the hall.
xXx
After a sleepy goodbye to Rose and Emmett who had, apparently, stayed awake well into the night, Edward and I loaded our bags into my rental car and set off for the airport. The ride was silent, save for the occasional comment on the weather and a short debate over whether or not the airport would be crowded. Though our sporadic comments were casual, there was an underlying tension in the car, a feeling of dread that neither of us wanted to address. It went without saying that the carefree moments spent in my bedroom were soon to be overshadowed by something heavier, something both of us were dreading: goodbye.
Too quickly, we arrived at Charleston International Airport and unloaded our bags before checking in for our separate flights. It was a surprisingly quick process and, for once, I didn't feel completely grossed out as I walked through the airport barefoot in the dreaded security line. Probably, it was because I was too focused on the feel of Edward's warm hard on the small of my back, refusing to break contact as if he was going to lose sight of me at any moment.
"All clear?" Edward asked as I stepped through the metal detector, his hands literally reaching out to touch me as he had been forced to separate.
"All clear," I nodded, stepping into his embrace. "You?"
"The man behind the machine looked at me kind of strange. Probably, it was because of the lingerie I have in my carry on." His attempt at a joke didn't lighten the situation.
"You didn't check the lingerie in your suitcase?" I asked, my mouth falling open in shock as I felt my cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.
"Nah," he said, patting the bag proudly. "I wanted it near me at all times."
"You're sick," I said, poking him in the side as I allowed myself a small bit of laughter.
"You love it," he sighed as he leaned down to place a kiss on my temple. "So, what gate are we headed to?"
"Uh," I paused, looking down at my boarding pass. "Gate A5 it looks like." As I read over my flight information, the fact that Edward and I were separating in under an hour hit me like a ton of bricks.
I froze, tears springing to my eyes as my body stopped in the middle of the terminal. My breath caught in my throat, and I struggled to contain the emotion I had been fighting all morning. It was as though time had stopped and all I could feel was the emptiness of our impending disconnection.
"Gate A5 it is," Edward stated as he continued walking, noticing that I had stopped when his hand slipped from my waist. "I'm actually A3, so it'll be…" He trailed off as he turned around to locate me, his eyes settling upon my hunched shoulders as a tear fell from each of my eyes. With him standing in the middle of the airport, looking at me sadly, I couldn't control the sob that wracked my body.
"…perfect," he finished his sentence uneasily, dropping his carry on bag to slide his arms under mine and lift me off the ground. He held me silently for a moment, rocking me side to side while I cried into his neck. "Let's get to your gate, okay?" He whispered when my body stopped shaking with the force of my tears.
I nodded numbly, allowing him to move away from me just enough to retrieve his bag, hating myself for breaking down like that. "You'll stay with me?" I asked despite already knowing the answer.
"Bella," Edward sighed, stopping us again as he turned to face me. "Where else would I go?"
I shrugged, completely unsure of where else he would go, but simply knowing I wanted to make sure he would be with me. "I don't know," I mumbled.
"Hey, we're only three gates away from where you need to be. Can you make it to your gate in one piece, or do you need a piggy back ride?" His question was voiced happily and I knew that he was trying to cheer me up, but I was unable to stop the tears from falling. Just the thought of going to the gate, the last place where I would see Edward for three weeks, was enough to cause my very heart to break.
"Shit, Bella, come on, I can't handle it if you're crying the entire time," he said with a sigh before pulling me by my hand down the terminal.
"You said you might cry," I mumbled.
"I meant when we said goodbye, at the gate, not in the middle of the airport, pretty girl."
"I'm being silly, aren't I?"
"No, you're not. I'm flattered, really."
I huffed. "You would be. Only you would find this-" I gestured to my swollen eyes, my red nose, my splotchy skin, "flattering." Somehow, I managed to force a small smile onto his lips.
"We're here," he announced, dragging me over to a set of two ridiculously uncomfortable airport chairs. "Did you eat breakfast?" He asked once we were sitting and I was wiping at my eyes.
"No, but I'm fine," I assured him, the thought of eating making my stomach turn.
"Are you sure?" The caring tone of his voice brought a fresh round of tears to my eyes. How long had it been since someone had cared for me so tenderly? So unselfishly? There I was, crying like a baby in the middle of an airport, and, instead of telling me to get my shit together, he was asking me if I wanted something to eat.
"I'm not really hungry," I explained, attempting in vain to wipe my eyes. The more tears I wiped away, the more fell. "You can get something, if you like."
"I had a bagel this morning," he grumbled as he lifted his arm to wrap it around my shoulders.
I shook my head back and forth before settling into his side, the annoying armrest between our chairs digging into my ribs. "Why on Earth did you wake up so early?"
"I have no idea," he sighed as he lifted his arm to wrap it around my shoulders.
"Freak."
Lifting my eyes to check the clock on the wall, I saw that it was nine-fifteen, less than twenty minutes until my flight began to board.
"Your freak," he countered.
I looked up at him. "My freak," I confirmed with a nod and, damn, more tears. He was mine, and in twenty minutes, I would be carrying my broken heart to New York, alone.
"Are you going to be okay?" His eyebrows furrowed with concern.
I nodded weakly. "I'll be fine," I assured him as I closed my eyes, feeling somewhat silly for all the waterworks. "It must be Alice, crying all day yesterday and rubbing off on me."
"She cried on her wedding day?" His voice was full of disbelief.
"Happy tears," I explained, opening my eyes and waving my hands in front of my face like a moron.
He nodded slowly. "You aren't crying happy tears are you?"
"They're kind of happy tears, I suppose."
"Kind of happy tears?"
"Yeah," I paused. "You know, happy because of everything that happened this week, but sad because it's ending."
"It isn't ending, Bella, it's beginning."
"I know, I know, but…it's ending for now," I countered shakily.
He sighed, resigned. "But you'll be happy?" he asked, his hand running across my hair.
"I'm happy, Edward, just not in this moment."
"In New York, though, you'll be happy?"
"I'm meeting my friend Angela at our favorite deli for dinner," I offered, shrugging. Feeling that familiar lump in my throat, I wondered if I would be able to stop the tears long enough to eat dinner with her. It felt like they would never stop.
"Please be happy, pretty girl," he whispered, pulling my face to his as the first boarding call for my flight echoed around us. "This week has been so amazing, I don't want the real world to tear us down because we've grown so ridiculously codependent." He chuckled lightly at the end of his sentence, clearly as bewildered by how attached we had become as I was.
"I'm happy, I am," I assured him tearfully. "Really." Even though I feel like a broken puzzle piece, I thought to myself.
"Do you need to go?" He asked as the second boarding call for my flight echoed over the speakers.
"Probably," I said without moving.
"You have to stand up, pretty girl." Again, with the pretty girl; if I wasn't a puddle of goo already from the night before, I was going to be straight jello by the time I arrived at LaGuardia. Runny, teary, snotty jello.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, crushing him to me. "I will in a minute."
"You have to go," He said, standing and pulling me with him.
I stood shakily on my feet as his arms snaked around my waist. "Hey," he said, squatting down so that our faces were level. "I love you."
"I love you," I echoed, smiling through my tears.
"Three weeks," he stated.
I nodded as a tear slowly trickled down my face. Lifting a hand, I brushed it away as he bent down to hand me my carry on.
"Text me when you land?" He asked as he hung my bag on my shoulder.
"Of course," I whispered shakily.
He nodded, his own eyes red around the edges, before pulling me into his arms, his lips crashing into mine as I heard the final boarding call for my flight. "That's me," I mumbled against his lips, refusing to be the first one to move away. He rested his head on my shoulder, my body trembling as my tears fell onto his shoulder.
"Be safe," he whispered before pulling away. "I love you."
"I love you, too," I stated, not bothering to stop the tears that were falling as I turned and stepped towards the dwindling line of passengers waiting to board the plane.
After handing the stewardess my boarding pass, I stepped forward, my vision blurred with wetness. Turning around, I had every intention of waving to Edward, but he had already disappeared into the crowd moving throughout the terminal. I put my hand on my shoulder where his head had just rested, imagining the feel of him close to me. I gasped when I felt the dampness of my shirt.
My Edward had cried on my shoulder.
With a teary sigh, I made my way onto the plane, quickly finding my seat and stowing my carry on before pulling out my iPhone to turn it off.
I had a text message waiting, from Edward.
I couldn't bear to watch you walk away with tears in your eyes, pretty girl. I love you. Text me as soon as you land.
My heart swelled at his words before I hit the reply button.
I miss you already. Love you.
As the plane taxied down the runway, I realized that I was not a broken puzzle piece, or a girl walking around with a broken heart. My heart was still with Edward, in the airport, at the beach house, wherever we had shared time together in the past week. Quickly, I sent him a final text before turning off my phone.
Be careful with my heart, I've left it with you.
For the first time in my life, I wasn't excited about returning to New York City. I wanted nothing more than to be with Edward—I wanted to be home.
Don't hate me...I promise that I'll bring them back together because, y'all, I don't do well with angst. Ask my beta, it took me two drafts of this chapter to get it decent because, well, I like happy much more than I like sad.
Coming up: We'll find out how Bella handles readjusting to life without Edward.
I heart you all, hardcore! As always, reviewers get teased. If I missed you last week, forgive me...alerts were fail.
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