Chapter Twenty-five

Tender Mercies

This situation had never been one discussed in any classroom or parlor among any ladies. Tamara had seen injuries and helped tend to some of those who sought out her mother's help with infection or stitching closed an open wound. The greater part of any nursing had been done by her mother while as a young girl Tamara had looked on. Naturally over the years many things had been learned but whether she could tend to wounds as serious as those Erik had worried her.

First Erik's clothing would need to be removed; all of it down to his bare skin, down to all of those ripcord muscles she knew had been hidden underneath his fine clothing. She could leave his trousers on but that would complicate things when Erik awoke weak and needed to be helped to the facilities. He may well give her an ear full once he came back to his full faculties but until then any decisions made were on her shoulders.

Watching and lusting after him while he lay on the bed passed out from pain would do neither of them any good. The amount of blood and Erik's continued moans of pain even while unconscious would help to curb any lascivious ideas she may have crossing her mind. Her grandmother had taught her to be a lady so she did not think she'd be jumping Erik any time soon.

Something for bandages would be needed along with needle, thread, antiseptic, and some sort of pain reliever. If he had some wine or brandy that could serve as disinfectant as well as an aid for the temporary relief of pain until proper medication could be found. Extra blankets would come in handy if he became feverish and chilled which she felt may well happen due to a loss of blood.

Everything about Erik's home spoke of an elegant man's taste. Everything had been purchased for quality. Searching through the house gave her an opportunity to discover that many of Erik's fine furnishings had been made by his own hand. Every piece of his own carried his name to mark it proudly. He had a right to be proud. Such artistry added another dimension to his many talents. What in the world could the man accomplish with just a little encouragement? The world would be his tapestry if it would allow him free reign to show his many gifts.

Even Erik's medicine cabinet held many potions and salves many physicians had only read about in books from other lands. Luckily he kept an array of herbs for pain as well as healing. He had even had the forethought to write out instructions as to the amount of the doses and how many per day to give a patient. Perhaps he had done this in case he ever needed Antoinette to attend to him. Tamara doubted Erik would seek out anyone unless he neared death and even then he would hesitate. He did not strike her as being one to put his trust in anyone willingly.

Gathering everything into a basket taken from the kitchen she returned to Erik's bedroom. He had not regained conscientiousness, for which she would be grateful as digging around in someone's flesh for a bullet would never be anything one would do willingly unless absolutely a life or death situation arose. Even now queasiness threatened to send her from the room. Gulping down the bile, then inhaling deeply the next few hours were not anything she would wish to ever repeat.

Tugging on Erik's clothing caused his wounds to bleed more freely. Finding scissors she cut the material from him not liking having to destroy his clothing but could do little else. Painful groans filled the room at the first tug on his boots. Having rather large feet coupled with the fine leather made for a difficult task to remove them from someone who could not help in any way. The boots Tamara refused to cut. His body could have any old thing thrown over it but covering for the feet would need to be adequate down here where one misstep could cause serious injury.

Concentrating on tending to serious wounds while ignoring Erik's all too male body challenged her in so many ways. Touching his flesh would have been some wonderful fantasy come true, if not for the fact that she wielded scissors digging into an open wound trying to extract a bullet. Never one to care for the sight of blood challenged her ability to stay upright and not faint dead away. Knowing his very life depended on her being able to remove the bullet then stem the flow of blood kept her mind focused on the task and less on the sick feeling churning inside her stomach.

The wound from the steel blade only needed to be cleaned then stitched. Rolling him over to inspect and tend the gunshot wound presented a physical challenge. Erik weighed some seventy pounds more than she did. His size would have presented difficulties even if he were conscious and able to help a little. Being unconscious the task took on Herculean proportions.

Silky material floating about annoyed her as well as got in the way so she removed that obstacle post haste. If anyone had been present to observe her near nakedness it may have bothered her but she would have forged ahead trying to save Erik's life. Nothing at that moment held any greater importance than that he should live.

Digging into his flesh she regretted not learning more about the human anatomy. Praying God guided her hand, Tamara tried to find the small piece of metal that had tore through his flesh so easily. When she felt the resistance against the tip of the scissors all she could do was hope no further damage had been done by her inexperienced hand.

Clearing away all the bloodied and torn pieces of fabric as well as the pan of blood red water kept her mind from focusing on the fact that Erik had not regained consciousness during the whole procedure nor did he look as if he would come around any time soon. Perhaps that would be a normal response from a body tasked by such blood loss as Erik had suffered.

Feeling better once everything had been put back into order, Tamara dragged a heavy chair toward the bed. Until he awoke she could not chance leaving him alone. Even then she'd have to come back often to tend to him. Forcing herself not to blush as she contemplated all that would need to be done for him left her with little hope that he would not curse her to the devil once he regained his faculties.

Having seen it as necessary his mask and wig had been removed. Being naked would hold not as much distress for him as her seeing what those two items hid from view would have on him. Knowing of his famous temper almost had her running for cover every time he moaned or moved as pain throbbed throughout his body even while he could not feel the full magnitude of what had been inflicted on his body.

Fever took hold during the night causing bouts of chills alternating with bouts of sweating. Washcloth after washcloth wiped over him from head to toe without his ever knowing of it. Closing her eyes kept her from seeing an image of him that would embarrass them both once he came around. Feeling all his manly muscles and other unmentionable parts plagued her mind without having to see it all. Her hands learned his form in a way she would never have expected to learn another human being, at least not without the benefit of marriage or some close relationship.

With drooping eyelids she kept vigil over the patient. Sleepily her thoughts turned to just what would be happening above concerning all the chaos that had been taking place when Erik had let himself be caught with his guard down. It would seem Christine had the power to remove all sense of self-preservation from him. His actions clearly let everyone know just where his emotions were focused. Tamara drifted into sleep feeling saddened by her thoughts as well as a little ache just where her heart beat in her chest.

Whatever she thought might be building between Erik and herself now must be repressed with this new knowledge. She'd take care of him as best she could, then once his complete recovery had been assured a return to the life they led before with slight differences would be in order. No more intimate evenings on the roof. No more useless fantasies. All future expectations of any declarations could be buried underneath a reinforced resolve to forget any fledgling feelings which may or may not have been developing between them, at least on her part.

Living without a man hadn't been so bad before. Life could be lived alone, at least alone as far as having an intimate partner in life was concerned. Fooling ones self while awake proved easier than when ones subconscious refused to cooperate with the conscious wish to forget.