A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews! Please keep them coming, I really like to know what you all think!

Enjoy!

He left Alex to sleep as he got ready for work. Taking with him to the bathroom a pair of boxers, black pants, and t-shirt, he took his time as he let the hot spray beat down on his tense muscles. Without getting any sleep, he felt sore and his muscles tight which intensified the pain clenching them. It was so painful that it was nearly impossible to concentrate on cleaning himself, yet alone the task of shaving. He took a pain pill and downed two glasses of water before going back to the bedroom. Alex stirred in her sleep, burying herself deeper into the pillows and under the blanket. He wished he could crawl into bed, bury himself in her warmth and sleep for the day, but he had work to do. A killer to catch.

While he watched Alex sleeping through the mirror that was on the inside of the closet door, he thought about how peaceful and vulnerable she looked. He didn't like making her angry with him like he had done last night. He really didn't like his possessiveness; the aching in his heart to keep her as safe and untouched by the chaos he surrounded himself with. The reason he didn't like it was because it scared him in knowing that he had to be that possessive. He had to protect her. If he didn't then bad things could happen.

It was worse than the amount of protectiveness he held for her while they worked together. When they were partners, he had to give some of that up knowing she had to have his back. That she had to put herself in danger, but at work he was there with her. He never left her side. He would have thrown himself in front of any bullet or danger that came her way easily. No thought required.

But now he wasn't there. She was out there alone without him. Yeah, he knew that Copeland would back her up, as any partner would, but it wasn't the same. He had no control over it himself. It all came back to his lack of control. And he knew that the one person he couldn't control was her. If Alex wanted to go out there and put herself in danger for him, to protect him, she would. She was just as stubborn as he was and he knew she wouldn't back down.

No amount of his pleading or his fears or his love could keep her from doing something, anything, in order to have his back. She fought for him with her family, friends, at work…and she would fight for him now. She loved him that much. As he buttoned the top button on his dress shirt, his eyes clenched shut as he felt the sting of tears threatening to fall. She did love him, stronger and deeper than he ever thought possible. Getting a strangled breath out, he opened his eyes and looked at her once again through the mirror. Blinking the tears back, he took the teal colored tie off the corner of the mirror.

As he pulled the tie over his shoulders he felt oddly conflicted. Part of him was amazed, grateful for the amount of devotion she felt which propelled her to see to it that he would get through this. Then there was a part of him that feared that devotion. He knew what that kind of relentless thinking, and love, could do. He had been there for her and still was. He had nearly thrown away everything, including his life, to save Alex from a sadist killer three months ago. And because of that obsessive behavior and the fear it caused him, he had almost lost her. Now that he had her back, he was bound and determined not to let anything like that happen again.

However, just as last time, he had no control over the dangers that not only awaited him but her. His hands shook while he tried for the second time at tying the tie. He bit back a curse as he scolded himself for letting his fear get to him. After the third time and his fingers still fumbled with the fabric, he dropped his hands as he felt-not for the first time-the weight pressing down on him. It sent his head spinning as he stumbled back against the doorframe right before his knees gave, sending him sliding to the floor.

Cradling his pounding head in his hands, his thoughts swirled into darkness. Through all the pain and fear, his feelings of loss and uncertainty, he held to one hope: that through it all, and after, she would be there. That Alex would always be there supporting him. He hoped that she would never stop loving him.

Yeah, she could bring out the worse in him, but she also brought out the best. He didn't want to lose that.

It would kill him.

He was broken out of the darkness by a sound. It sparked his fear as he listened more closely. Someone was there, in his house. Getting up he grabbed his gun off the dresser and headed out into the hallway.

"Goren!"

Releasing a breath, he walked into the kitchen. "What're you doing here?" he asked Elliot as he sat the gun down on the counter.

Elliot barely acknowledged him as he answered simply, "Getting my stuff. I'll be out of here soon enough."

As Elliot went around his house gathering his stuff into bags, Bobby started a pot of coffee. He needed a distraction from the spiraling darkness and the interaction with Elliot would give him that. He knew Elliot was still pissed off with him because he was still pissed off with Elliot, but he was his friend. He didn't have very many friends. There were plenty of acquaintances; people he knew that could help him get the things he needed. Guys he knew he could talk to in order to get information during the course of his work. Contacts he had picked up along the way from people he met or from his friends, and sometimes, his family.

However, when it came to actual friends, guys he hung out with and entrusted himself to, he only had five with Mike Logan slowly but surely making it six. He couldn't and didn't want to lose Elliot Stabler as a friend all over a disagreement.

Elliot came back into the kitchen with his gym bag slung over his shoulder and a big duffel bag in his right hand.

"Hey, uh…" As Elliot stopped and faced him, Bobby didn't know what to say to him. Nothing sounded right coming from him, especially to another man. It felt weird and a little awkward. Still uncertain of what to say, quickly asked, "Want a cup of coffee? It's early…and, pretty cold out."

Elliot stood staring at him for a long moment before sighing and dropping both bags to the floor next to the door. "Sure."

Bobby took two cups down and filled both. After handing one to Elliot, he went and leaned against the counter to give them both space. "So…who is she?"

Elliot slightly froze as he was bringing the cup up to his lips. Staring wide at him, he tried to recover himself quickly without giving anything away but it hadn't worked. "She?"

Smiling slightly he asked again, "C'mon, you can't fool me. You've been spending less and less time here, you haven't slept on my couch in nearly a week, and you've found this new apartment so quickly…"

"I've been sleeping at the department until just a few days ago when I finally got my own bed. There is no she. I'm still married," Elliot snapped at him in anger.

Instinctively he felt like pushing, he felt like getting Elliot to admit to him that he was, in fact, seeing someone else, but he decide to drop it. Elliot did just call him 'Bobby' again. "Alright, my mistake." After a moment of neither one of them speaking, he asked, "How was your Christmas?"

"Good," Elliot said with a sense of relief that the other subject was dropped. "Yours?"

"Besides getting called into work, it was nice. I, uh…I asked Alex to move in with me."

Elliot seemed stunned by that, but everyone was stunned by that. "Wow. How did that go?"

He took a sip of the hot coffee before answering, "She'll be completely moved in by the new year."

"Congratulations."

Bobby smiled a little before he took a drink.

Elliot was watching him as he asked, "You're not okay with that?"

"I'm the one who asked her," Bobby answered as he looked down into the cup in his hand. " If I wasn't okay then…" he trailed off as he didn't know how to answer that.

"Would you stop being elusive. I hate it when you do that."

Bobby breathed out as he took a bigger gulp of the coffee. This was why he liked Elliot as his friend. The guy wasn't a pushover like Lewis could be sometimes. Elliot didn't take none of his bullshit and when he was having a hard time expressing himself, of figuring out how to express himself to the woman he loved, Elliot would give him a good kick in his ass. Taking a moment to think it over, he knew that he wasn't answering due to the fact that his fears weren't subsiding as he thought they should. "Okay, when you and Kathy first lived together, were you, you know…concerned?"

Elliot was actually laughing at him at that question. "Hell yeah I was, but I was also twenty years old. I was still young and not really thinking about the future and all the struggles that came with being with someone. It's a huge step. It's the ultimate test: can you actually live with the person you love? A lot of people find out they can't, not without a lot of compromising."

This was also another reason he enjoyed Elliot as his friend. Not only was Elliot not a pushover, but he had lived for over twenty years what he was just starting to accept and open up to now. Most of his friends were single, the few that weren't were too busy and he hadn't talked to them in a long time. Then there was Lewis, who would be married for the first time on Friday. "What if I don't want to compromise?"

"Doesn't matter," Elliot strictly, and plainly told him, "you do it anyway. You have to consider what's more important. And, if you can't decide or figure it out, just agree with her. Nod your head and move on."

Bobby stared at Elliot and saw the seriousness in his eyes. "I like everything the way it is."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Then don't. Maybe you'll have one of those very rare relationships where you both agree to disagree, don't change anything for the benefit of each other, and can actually stay together despite it all."

"Hold up, I didn't say anything about not doing things to benefit her. I'm benefiting her by having her move in with me."

"Why are you getting mad at me?"

"I'm not-" Bobby stopped himself as he realized that he was getting angry with Elliot and there was no reason for it. "You started it."

"No, you started it by telling me you asked Alex to move in with you." Elliot downed the rest of the coffee and got up to put it in the sink. "Anyway," he told him as he rinsed the cup out. "I was meaning to tell you that, with what was said, I'm over it. We're cool."

Bobby finished his coffee and sat the empty cup on the counter. "I've, uh, been meaning to apologize for, uh," he had to clear his throat before continuing, "for being an asshole. You're not a coward."

Elliot frowned a little as he looked to the floor. "And I don't actually think you're a masochist momma's boy, but you do have a weird and possibly unhealthy relationship with your mother."

Bobby didn't know how to take that. "Because I stayed? She needs me. I'm all she has left and…and I, I want to take care of her."

Elliot crossed his arms and looked at him. "Really? You want your life this way?"

"What's wrong with my life?" he asked as his defenses were rising.

"Think about it, think about how much time you devote yourself just to her. If things had been different, if your father hadn't had left or she had family that were willing to be there for her when you couldn't, could you honestly say that you would be this devout? I mean, you put a lot of your life on hold in order to please her. It's no wonder you've never married or had a long term relationship, you have no time for it. I don't even know how you find time to be with Alex."

Bobby could barely breathe his chest was hurting so bad. He knew Elliot was right; that if circumstances had been different, if his family had been more caring and loving, things would have been amazingly different for him. "We, we worked it out," he answered, referring to finding the time to be with Alex.

"You worked it out? How did you do that exactly? You two used to work together so I'm guessing that's where most of the time came from." Elliot was quiet a moment before telling him, "This, right now what you're doing with asking her to move in, that's working it out." When he only just looked at him, he asked, "Do you even understand why you asked her to do that?"

"Because I want her here. I'm, uh…I'm helping her out and, and I uh, I think it's time…"

Elliot shook his head at him. "That didn't sound too convincing. What happened to that rational, over analytical mind of yours?"

Bobby sighed in frustration and rubbed at his head. "It's…I'm not," he breathed out as he realized that he was so confused he could barely think straight. He briefly remembered what he had said to Dr. Charles Webb years ago and it came angrily out of his own mouth, "No one's rational when they're in love…that's the whole point."

Elliot, for once, agreed with him. "Yeah, I think it is. I mean, look at you?" Bobby glared at him and he went on, "Okay, I'm going to help clarify things for you." Taking a deep breath and grabbing him by the shoulders, he told him, "You and her are no longer partners and you're realizing now that you have to work harder at making this work. For the first time in probably your whole life, you changed something in order to be with someone else. Before, I'm certain that you would've had a panic attack over the idea. You're missing her, you want to spend more time with her because she's no longer around you 24/7 like she was when you two were partners.…Do you see where I'm going? Are you following me at all?"

Bobby took a moment to take that all in before he nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I'm following. So…yeah, I get it. Before, I didn't think we should move in because we spent all our time together at work, and after work…It would have been too much to actually live in the same house. Now, everything's changed and I'm missing her like crazy."

"Right, so in order to rectify that you asked her to move in." Elliot was smiling at him as he asked, "Are you still concerned or are you seeing how this isn't a bad thing but a very good thing?"

Smiling slightly himself, he said, "It's a necessary change to…to balance my world back in order; I'm, leveling it out."

"Hey, look at you actually learning something from me." Elliot slapped him on the shoulder as he told him, "Glad I could help."

"Why are you so separated from your mother?" he suddenly asked.

Elliot's smile faded as he stared hard at him. "Jesus, Bobby, you sure do know how to turn something completely around don't you?" He was quiet for a moment and Bobby didn't think he was going to answer, then finally he told him, "She left when I was a kid. And it's not like she's living homeless on the street. She has her own place on the beach. I can't talk to her, don't even know how to begin to understand her. If she was able to accept her illness, take her medication, then…I don't know, maybe I'll be willing to try harder at staying connected."

"If you ever want help with that, you can always call me," Bobby sincerely told him. "Your children, they might like to know their grandmother."

That got Elliot's consideration as his eyes narrowed slightly. "I don't know…maybe." He eyed him for a moment before saying, "Before I go, I gotta ask. Why are there pine needles all over your floor and where's the tree?"

"Bobby and the tree got into a scuffle last night. I think the tree lost."

Both men turned to see Alex walk into the kitchen. She was wearing her red silk pajamas and Bobby immediately felt the urge to throw a robe over her since Elliot was there.

"Oh, yeah?" Elliot asked as he smiled at her. "I would've put twenty on the tree. Good morning, Alex. I hear you two moving in together, congratulations."

Alex smiled at that as he pulled her into a hug. "Thanks," she said as she gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek. "Now, move, I need coffee and you two are standing in my way."

Bobby saw Elliot move but he stayed where he was. Leaning down, he caught her in a kiss before she could say or do anything about it.

Elliot cleared his throat then said, "Look at the time. Well, I'm out of here."

Bobby chuckled as he released Alex from his kiss. "Need help?" he asked as he finally let her get that cup of coffee.

"Nah, I'm good." Elliot picked up the gym bag and slung it over his left shoulder before holding out his hand to him. Bobby shook it as he told him, "Thanks again for letting me stay."

"No problem." Bobby went to the door and opened it for him.

"Oh, hey," Elliot called over to Alex. "I don't know if Liv got a hold of you or not, but she said she'll help you today with the packing."

Bobby stilled and glared at Elliot then looked to Alex who tried to look as innocent as an angel. "Wait…" turning to Elliot, he asked, "You knew? He knew?" Looking back and forth between the two, he mumbled under his breath, "Son-of-a…You conspired against me."

"It wasn't against you, we helped," Elliot told him as he only smiled wide at him.

"You lied. You acted like you didn't know anything about me and Alex moving in together."

"I didn't lie. I said nothing about not knowing. Why'd you think I came by this morning to get my stuff?" Elliot asked him as he went to leave. "It's the day after Christmas, I should be sleeping in right now with a serious hangover."

As Elliot walked out the door, he let his anger go; he wasn't really that mad. He was just upset about being blindsided like that. Giving Elliot a not too hard slap on the back, he told him, "Take it easy. I'll see you around."

"Yeah, and hey, Super Bowl party at my new apartment."

"I'll mark my calendar." Bobby watched as Elliot left before he went back inside and shut the door. Turning to Alex, he asked as he walked up to her, "So, when did you work this little intervention out?"

Alex went to protest but she was blushing red before she even opened her mouth to lie. "When I called Liv yesterday," she told him before she took a sip of the coffee.

"Huh-uh." Bobby smirked as he wrapped his arms around her waist and stared down at her. "You thought I needed some help with this? Someone to kick my own ass for me?"

She laughed at him as she sat her cup down. "Yes, I did actually." She ran her hands up his chest and he couldn't help but shiver at the feel of it. Wrapping her hands around the back of his neck, she said, "Elliot's a good friend for you. When you're too busy over thinking and freaking out he's there to kick your ass when I can't. You wouldn't have talked to me about it. You needed guy talk."

It hurt for him to hear that she didn't think he would have talked to her, but it was the truth. He wouldn't have. If she would had confronted him about it he would have either played it off, tried to reassure her, or went on the defense. Sighing, he dropped his head at the disappointment her felt once again at letting her down.

"Hey, it's okay," Alex was saying as she tried to reassure him. "There are times when I have to talk things out with my family or friends first before I can bring it up to you."

Nodding slightly, Bobby tried to let himself accept that. Leaning down, he gave her a kiss. "I got to get to work. I told the Lieu I'll put in a half day then I was planning on going up to see my mother."

"Oh," she said, sounding surprised.

Bobby was confused by that reaction, asking, "What? It's Sunday."

"I know it's Sunday. I just thought that maybe you might've decided to help me."

He could hear the argument coming on as he told her, "You're not going to need my help. You're going to have your whole family helping you."

"It's not my whole family. Liz, Angie, and now Liv. Three people and not one of them is the man I'm going to be living with."

Bobby breathed out and looked to the floor. She had to make this difficult. "So, yeah, okay three people," he said looking back up at her. "And what do you have planned for today? Organizing, throwing things out, and probably a little bit of packing. You're not going to need me. Not until you're actually ready to bring things over and move the furniture."

Alex was looking frustrated as she shook her head, fitfully saying, "Fine. You're right, I don't need you." She went over to the refrigerator and started pulling out food to get breakfast going. "I'm going to do it all by myself."

"Alex…"

"No, I don't even know why I thought you'll be willing to give up a day to help me organize and throw things out and pack. I mean I am the one that wants to move in with you so quickly. I'm the one that wants to live here by the end of the week. If I leave it up to you, I won't be moved in until next Christmas."

He could only stand there and watch as she hasty went about cooking breakfast at the same time going off on him for his decision to not help her. The more she scolded him, the more he wanted to just leave and go to work. Instead, he shook his head and went over to the closet by the door and got out the broom and dustpan.

As he cleaned the floor of the pine needles, he thought about all the things they hadn't discussed about the move, like the payment of the bills. Was he actually going to ask her to start paying half on everything? He wouldn't even let her pay for dinner most of the time. And then there was still so much he didn't know about her, and that she didn't know about him. Living together was going to bring a lot of those things forth. By the time he was done cleaning he was so lost in his head he didn't even stop to tell her bye. Grabbing his overcoat and all his stuff, he was out the door.

He didn't get a whole hell of a lot done at work. They ran the names, got rap sheets for all the women for prostitution and some drugs but all in all there wasn't much. The first victim Michelle Costello was still a mystery to him. She didn't have much a history in the system with only a few arrests. Work history proved just as disheartening as the woman never held down a legit job since she was in her early twenties as a bartender before she got arrested for drugs. The drug charge didn't led to jail time but after that the woman's life became like a lot of other people's lives who got hooked on heroin. Homelessness led to unsavory deals and lifestyle that lead to solicitation and that was what got her to the whorehouse on Coney Island and then her death. The endless cycle.

The half day at work seemed pointless. He did what little paperwork there was to do and put the files that Mike needed to sign on his desk. Mike, since he stayed yesterday to work, took today off. He didn't mind it, especially when he found so little. Trace came back sometime last night and confirmed that the material found in the lacerations on the neck was from the same type of silk fabric that they found in Jessica Fox's wounds. It seemed their killer used the same red scarf or tie to strangle the women.

As his mind tried to make the connections he needed to solve the crime and finger out his next moves, his body was growing more and more exhausted. He always tried to not let himself slip too far, or to at least avoid being around people when it happened, but he could literally lose himself so deeply into his head that he was oblivious to the world around him. Nothing could get through. Not phones ringing, people's voices, noises from a TV, changing of light, movements, touches…they all were lost on him even though his eyes were slightly open and he was awake. It used to happen a lot when he was a kid, as a teenager, and it only happened now when he was so focused on his thoughts and tired that he held no control over it.

It reminded him of the times when his mother would zoned out, get lost in her head and the delusions, the voices, and she would appear to be a living, breathing statute. He remembered being scared by it, and terrified when he found himself doing the exact same thing. His mind, however, weren't ruled by a non-existent world, but a very real and very dangerous one. And he needed to figure out how to get a grip on it before he really did lose it.

Someone was touching him, shaking him slightly, as the room around him came into focus, sounds exploded in his ears and he jerked with a start as he blinked his eyes.

Doris was looking down at him and she was fully of concern as she asked, "Mr. Goren?"

Bobby shifted in the chair he had been waiting in and cleared his throat. "I'm fine," he told her. "Just tired. Um…can I go back now?"

The nurse that he had known for years and come to rely on to look after his mother gave him a skeptical frown as she told him, "Yes, you can. She's out of the shower now and in the dayroom."

He could also physically exhaust himself from thinking too much, as he just done. Bobby had the urge to get up and hurry down the hall but he couldn't get his body to fully process that command. Rubbing a hand over his face and then over his head, he gave a nod. "I'll go back inna minute. Thanks."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Doris asked. "You didn't respond for a couple of minutes before-"

"I'm sure, but thanks…for the concern," he told her as he leaned forward on rubbed his hands over his eyes, trying to wake himself up. He hadn't been asleep but he felt like he had just been woken too early from a heavy sleep. His mind was foggy, his body felt sluggish, and he was groggy.

He was able to push himself up to his feet and as soon as he started walking he felt as if his legs were going to give up on him. His walk was slow as he went to the doors and pressed the code the opened them to his wing his mother stayed in. Beyond the doors he greeted a few other nurses who were walking around with some of the residents/patients. Everyone that worked there and most of who lived there knew him by name. The nurses called him Mr. Goren while the residents always called him Frances' son Bobby.

Smiling politely back at the greetings and waving a little to some of them, he made his way down the long hall to the dayroom where Doris said his mother was. His head was starting to pound from a headache; stopping one of the nurses that was walking by, he asked her a little shamefully if he could get something for it.

"No problem, Mr. Goren. I'll bring you a couple of Tylenol as soon as I check in on Mrs. Davenport."

After thanking her, he continued on his way and soon he was entering the dayroom. It was full of lively activity. Games were being played, the television was going in the corner and showing an show he wasn't familiar with but it looked to be a soap opera. Looking around the room, he spotted his mother sitting on one of the couches that looked out the sliding doors and into the garden that was frozen over with snow and ice. Walking up behind the couch he could see her wrapped in a beautiful quilt he hadn't had seen before and holding a mug. Hanging over the side of the mug was the string to a tea bag.

Moving around the side of the couch, he eased down next to her and smiled when she looked to see who it was that was sitting next to her.

Her eyes lit up in surprise before she exclaimed, "Bobby! You're here?"

"Why wouldn't I be? It's Sunday," he told her as he waited for her to initiate the physical contact. Some days she didn't mind it, and then others it was impossible to get a hug out of her.

She didn't make any move toward him. No holding out her arm for a hug, no hand for him to take, and no move forward to let him give her a quick kiss on her cheek. Feeling the rejection and trying not to let it get to him, he turned his attention to the scenery out the sliding doors. It was a pretty beautiful sight. The icicle tree branches, the snow, the blue sky and clouds…

"I just thought what with you not being her yesterday that you wouldn't bother showing up today either."

Biting his lip, he took the scolding and gave a slight nod. He knew that yesterday she was still coming down from being sedated the day before, and that she was still confused and angry and highly agitated. It seemed she was still agitated and had no problem dishing it out to him for not being there for Christmas. He didn't tell her the reason why he wouldn't be there. There was no desire in him to let her know about Alex and the fact that he spent the holiday with her family instead of with his family.

"I'm sorry," he tried for an apology even though it wouldn't matter. "I had to work."

"You had to work. You're always working when I need you here."

Bobby glanced to the floor and thought about that but not too much. If he did then he would think himself into a depression. It was going to be one of those days where he had to watch everything that came out of his mouth. Not to protect her, but to protect himself from her. Even though he knew his reasons, and thought he knew the man that he was, she could still make him question it. Question the kind of son he was, the man he was, and the love he had for her. He tried not too, but…but dammit, he couldn't help it. No matter how he tried to reason it with himself, he really didn't completely know who he was half the time. What kind of man he could be and the man that he was.

It was hard for him to figure it out having never had a man to really look up to, to compare himself to. His father was a man he looked up to until he realized who his father really was. Then he became the exact opposite of the man he wanted to be. Some days he had it figured out, some days he was too scared to even think about it, and then there were the days when he felt so lost to who he was that he didn't even want to be who he was.

Alex seemed to get him, to know who he was and what he was capable of having put him in his place many times when he wasn't sure of anything. If there was anyone who could pin him down and tell him with all honestly and truth what he was it was her. After all, when he saw the love she held inside of her, it was like he was seeing the love that he held in his own soul. When he looked at her, he could see himself; at least the man he could be with a woman like her by his side for the rest of his life.

"…are you even listening to me?"

Bobby tugged at his collar as he realized that he hadn't been paying any attention to his mother as he lost himself in his thoughts again. Taking in the view of the frozen garden and the woods beyond it one last time, he turned to his mom as he started to undo his tie. Sighing heavily, he gave up the feeble apology he wanted to say and instead said, "That's a really nice quilt."

Frances looked down at it with something in her eyes he rarely saw. She looked happy about it, excited. "You think? It's nice and warm, I'm glad Frank got it for me."

At that, he stiffened and eyed his mother and then the quilt and then her again. "Frank was here?" he asked as he pulled the tie from around his neck and folded it up to put in his suit jacket pocket.

The irritation was back as she told him, "Of course, yesterday he dropped by. This was his Christmas present for me."

Bobby tried to settle his sudden beating heart. Once again he felt that Frank one upped him in the eyes of their mother and he, and the gift he got for her, wasn't good enough. "It's, um…very beautiful. Did he stay long?"

"Not too long, you know how busy he can get. We talked for a while, and he told me that he saw you on a casino boat."

He gave a slight nod and wondered what kind of tale his brother wove. Frank was notorious for taking any innocent thing and turning it into something it wasn't; he was worse than the NYPD's rumor mill. "Yeah, I was working a case and he was there. We talked…He seemed good."

She only nodded at that and went to take some drinks from the cup of tea she was still holding.

Bobby watched her until he felt his phone vibrate just before it started ringing. "Excuse me, mom, I gotta take this," he told her when he saw it was Alex calling. She gave a dismissive wave like she wasn't expecting him back as he got up and headed toward the hallway. "Hey," he answered. "What's going on?"

"I just realized we haven't discussed anything about this move. Whose furniture are we keeping?"

He was rubbing his neck on fire as he asked, "What?"

"Furniture," she emphasized as he heard the frustration in her voice. He had no idea what Alex had been doing all day with the move, but she sounded pissed as hell just then. "What are we going to do with it? Am I putting mine in storage or are we going to keep it?"

Closing his eyes, he felt his own frustration building and it had nothing to do with the woman he was talking to. Plus, he didn't care what she did with the furniture. As long as he had something to sit on… "Do what you want with it. If you want to keep it, we can put it in the living room."

"And what about your stuff?"

"We-we, can, I can put my couch in-in, the, um…in the study."

"You have three walls of bookcases in your study," she flatly told him.

"Then I can take one out and put it in the living room. Alex, whatever you want to bring to make you feel at home and comfortable, bring it, okay. I really don't care about whose couch we keep or-"

"Why am I not surprised that you don't care about any of this."

He gapped at that and stood stunned in the hallway as he tried to come up with a response to that bitter comment. "I care, it's just…" he sighed as he leaned against the wall. Looking down the hall he saw the nurse with his Tylenol coming toward him. "Hey-uh, hang on," he told her before dropping the phone to his chest and meeting the nurse halfway. "Thanks," he told her again before asking, "Were you working yesterday?"

"Yep, all day. Is there anything wrong?"

"Only if your answer is no," he told her before downing the pills with the glass of water she handed him. "Did…um, was my brother here?"

"He stopped by for….about half an hour? He gave her that quilt," she told him with a look of sympathy.

It was known by now around the entire staff that his mother favored Frank over him despite everything. Bobby handed the glass back to her and gave a nod before raising the phone. "Listen, can we talk…" he trailed off as he heard the dial tone in his ear.

She hung up on him. Closing his eyes and snapping the phone shut, he took a deep breath and felt like banging his head against the wall.

A while later, when he helped his mother back to her room when she started to complain that she was getting tired, he looked around for the gift he had gotten for her. It wasn't that important for him to know what she did with the jewelry music box but he couldn't get it off his mind. He couldn't get the tightening in his chest to subside and when he spotted the box on the bookshelf being used as a bookend, he didn't know what to think. Picking it up, he opened it and listened to the tune that started to play.

"Close that, I'm trying to sleep."

Bobby did as he was told and the pain in his chest didn't ease as he sat it back down. "I remember you collecting these as a kid."

"I liked them."

"Do you like this one," he asked as he turned around to face her.

She was lying in the bed and pulling the quilt tight around her tiny frame. "It's nice, but when was the last time I had to use one of those. They won't let us have jewelry."

"Still, it's decorative and you can listen to-"

"Could you please not fight with me about it right now?" she asked in growing frustration and impatience.

He watched as she turned away from him and settled. That was her signal to him that she was done talking, done with him and he could leave when he wanted. Breathing out, he shuffled his way over to the couch under the windows and collapsed. He hadn't slept in nearly thirty-five hours. The thoughts in his head were getting more unfocused and sporadic and just plain weird. It was hard to concentrate on speaking yet alone driving. He was going to have to get some sleep before he started the two hour drive home.

Lying down on the couch, he felt something dig into his side. Pulling out his cell phone and his shield, he laid those on the table before turning back onto his side and closing his eyes.

The ringing of the cell phone jarred him awake. Without opening his heavy eyes, he reached around for the phone and flipped it open. "Goren," he choked out before clearing his dry throat. "Goren," he said again, that time more clearly.

"Where are you?"

It was Alex. Prying his eyes open, he looked around the dark room and sat up with a start. "Wha time's it?" he asked as he grabbed his shield and stuffed it into his pocket as he headed for the door.

"Nearly eight. Are you still with your mom?"

"Yeah, I uh, I fell asleep on the couch. I'll, uh…" he muffled a yawn before telling her, "I'm on my way. Are you at my place or yours?"

"Currently I'm at yours…ours, but I'm about to head over to my apartment again."

Bobby pushed open the front door to the facility and was struck by the cold air that hit him. If he wasn't awake before he was now. Holy shit was it cold! Heading to the car, he said, "Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can. Want me to pick up dinner or anything?"

"That'll be great. I've been too busy to cook anything or even think about eating." She was quiet for a moment before asking, "How is she?"

Bobby pulled out his keys as he thought about what to tell her. "The same, I guess. She's…doing okay."

"Be careful on the drive back, you sound out of it."

Smiling into the phone at her concern for him, he told her, "Don't worry. I'll call when I stop to pick up food. It might take me a little longer since I won't be driving my usual speed back."

"Thank God. Your usual speed is a hundred."

"I'll only do eighty," he said and then chuckled at her groan.

"Goren," she warned.

"Alright, alright, I'll take it slow. See you soon."

"Not soon enough," she teased before telling him, "Love you."

Bobby's throat tightened as he put the keys in the ignition as he closed his eyes at hearing that. It was exactly what he needed to hear from her. "You too."

After hanging up, he sat in the car and let it warm up as he tried not to think too much about his mother and his exhaustion and Alex's love for him. It didn't work; they were all he thought about the entire drive back to Brooklyn and then over to Rockaway.

As soon as he unlocked the door and stepped inside he heard Polly's happy chirper. He hung up his overcoat as he looked around the open rooms. The apartment was in chaos and he didn't see Alex anywhere. There were piles everywhere, random boxes with books scooted against the walls, and pictures wrapped in newspaper laying over the tables. Bobby took a glance in the kitchen and saw bags of trash ready to go outside along with recycling tubs packed full. Dishes, cookware, and appliances where set into different piles and some were marked with colored markers and he didn't know why. That was until he saw the 'color chart' hanging on the refrigerator. The ones marked with black were going to be sold, blue were for family, and red was what she was taking with her to his place.

Bobby noticed only a few things in red, one of which was the cappuccino maker he had gotten her. Opening the fridge he was taken back to see that it was nearly empty except for takeout and bottles of water and a few bottles of beer. He grabbed two with his free hand and headed for the bedroom.

As he walked into the bedroom, he said out load, "Alex your apartment is a disaster zone." He still didn't see her anywhere as he sat the beer and bags with the Chinese takeout on the dresser. Looking around the bedroom, he took in the clothes that were laid out on the bed in separate piles as he started for the bathroom when he heard a sound coming from the closet. Cautiously going up to the door, he eased it open and there she was.

Alex was sitting on the floor, a box was open by her side, and in her hands was the photo that she kept of her and Joe that was supposed to be on her dresser. Tears were streaming mascara down her face. When she looked up, he felt suddenly weak and the pain that shot through his heart took his breath away. "Hey," she softly said as she went to wipe the tears away.

Bobby felt his lungs start to ache so he took a breath and repeated, "Hey." Moving into the closet that was a lot smaller than his own, he sat on the floor next to her and looked more closely at the photo in the frame. It was a picture from her and Joe's wedding day and she looked absolutely stunning, and incredibly happy. Taking it from her, he said, "This is something," turning to her, he finished, "that you keep out of the box."

She seemed a little stunned as she continued to wipe her eyes. Looking at the picture and then at him, she asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I know how much you love it, and I can see why…" he smiled at her and pulled her to him. Giving her a kiss, he told her, "We'll put it in the bedroom, okay?"

Alex still didn't look like she believed him. "You're going to be okay with that picture in our bedroom?"

"Yes," he told her as he put the frame down so he could move the hair out of her face and cup her cheek. Tilting her head up he said, "I want you to be happy living with me, and if having that picture, and whatever else you want that Joe gave you or that reminds you of him is going to help do that, then…Then I'm okay with it."

She was holding back more tears as she gave him a nod before pulling him down for a kiss, and then another. "Thank you, you didn't have to do that…I would've understood if it made you uncomfortable."

"What would make me uncomfortable is seeing you like this every morning because you had to pack it away, or me making you pack it away and knowing I caused you to be like this."

Smiling a little, she said, "You really don't like to see me cry, do you?"

"No man likes to see his woman cry, not any good man anyway. You okay?"

"Now I am. I've missed you today. My sisters were driving me crazy and Liv ended up having to back out because of a case." Alex looked up and around the closet before letting out a deep breath. "I think I'm done in here for now. And I'm smelling fried rice and egg rolls."

Bobby stood and helped her to her feet as they left the closet. Getting the food out of the bags, and grabbing the beer bottles, he went over to the bed where she was sitting and handing her a carton and bottle before going around the bed to get into bed next to her. Resting against the headboard, he kicked off his shoes and leaned back. "It looks like a tornado whipped through here."

Alex chuckled and nodded. "Two did, and their names were Amy and Amber. The twins tried to help but they ended up throwing stuff around."

He watched as she went back eating and that was when he realized that she wasn't drinking. "I can get you something else to drink," he said, motioning to the untouched beer bottle on the nightstand.

Alex handed him the bottle. "There's Mountain Dew in the fridge, bottom drawer."

He finished off his beer and took it with him to the kitchen. Getting her a can of the soda out of the fridge, he threw his empty bottle away before heading back to the bedroom.

After a few long minutes of eating and no talking, she asked, "Why do you really want me to live with you? I know what you said this morning, but there's more to it than that."

Bobby swallow half of the second beer down his throat as he looked over at her. He was unsure of why she asked that. Why she suddenly needed to get a confirmation from him to why he wanted her to live with him, but he figured it had something to do with her not thinking he cared. Deciding to lay it all out there, he said, "I don't, I don't do too well…without you." Breathing out, he dropped his head in shame as he started moving food around in the carton with his chopsticks. "And…and I don't like being alone anymore. I'm not better off that way." Glancing over at her, he saw the look in her eyes and the shame he had been feeling seemed to disappear.

"Was that so hard to admit?"

Smiling softly, he said, "The hardest, actually." He continued eating while he looked around the cluttered bed and bedroom. "So, what's the game plan?"

Alex shrugged a little as she told him, "There's not much of one yet. The only things I'm certain of are the things that have to go to your place. Like my clothes, books, family photos, the TV-"

"I've got a TV," he interrupted as he looked over at her.

"But not in the bedroom."

Bobby narrowed his eyes slightly before saying, "It's that way for a reason."

She looked over at him like he was missing some big piece of evidence before telling him. "You didn't have a reason before, but you got one now: me." At the look on his face, she said, "Okay, what if you're playing video games in the living room and I want to watch a movie? Or, if my nieces and nephew are over. You're going to need another TV now, and I'm putting the one that's out in my living room in your bedroom."

He had stopped listening at the words 'nieces' and 'nephew' before he realized that now his apartment would be where she would have them come to stay the night, or weekends. That his place was now going to be where Alex would have her family parties at instead of the apartment they were in at the moment.

"Bobby?"

"Yeah, I'm, uh…I'm…processing," he picked up the bottle of beer and downed most of it.

Alex was trying not to show her amusement, but that didn't stop her from teasing him. "Oh, come on, don't tell me that it just now occurred to you that they'll be coming over to your place?"

"It did…and-" he stopped then looked her in the eyes as he asked, "The reason you want to be moved in by New Year's Eve isn't because you want to have a party there, is it?"

Alex went to speak but thought better of it as she gave him that look. "Well…"

"No, Alex," he protested as he sat his food carton down and turned to her. "You can't just spring this on me. And Lewis is getting married New Year's Eve."

"He's getting married at four in the afternoon. Our party is starting at nine."

Bobby stared down at her and knew that there was nothing he could say to make her not have the party. He moaned a little in defeat and leaned into her, burying his face in her neck. "I'm not going to like this."

Alex laughed at him. "Poor, baby, going to have to be a good boy in front of my family once again."

"You're killing me," he mumbled into her neck before giving her a kiss on it.

"Stop being so melodramatic," she told him as she nudged him in the ribs.

"Ow." Bobby felt her laugh again before scooting further down on the bed so he could lay down. That was a bad idea. The moment he was on his back he felt the exhaustion he had felt earlier pressing down on him. Rolling over, he wrapped his arms around Alex's waist and laid his head in her lap as he closed his eyes. He felt her hand run through his hair and he relaxed even more from the soothing touch.

"Are you going to fall asleep on me?" she asked as she started to massage his neck.

"Mmm, maybe…I'm exhausted." As he spoke he could feel his body ease and grow heavy.

"You must be to sleep in your suit and not care."

Bobby had a brief thought of getting up and stripping down before he mumbled softly, "At least my shoes are off." The weight was getting heavier and his head was getting lighter and before he could do anything else he was asleep.

He barely remembered being jarred awake by Alex moving out from under him before she was back again, and he once again settled in his sleep with her in his arms. The darkness of his heavy sleep was then disrupted as he felt a familiar vibration against his hip. Reaching into his pants pocket, he pulled out the cell phone, flipped it open, and then slurred softly into the phone, "'Is better be important."

"Detective Goren," a soft female voice spoke to him.

Confusion gripped his tired mind as he sat up in bed and looked at the clock. It was one thirty in the morning and some unknown woman was calling him. "Uh, yeah, this's Detective Goren. Who…"

"It's Lindsey Broyles."

Bobby was up out of bed before he realized that he was even moving. "Lindsey, yeah, I, uh, I want to talk to you. Are you in Coney Island?"

"No…I…I need your help," she told him and that was when he heard the noises in the background.

As he found his shoes and slipped them on, he asked, "Where are you?"

TBC…