Author's note: Thanks a lot to Ghastly Eternity for beta-reading. Also many thanks to Maknatuna, L. Greene, midnight0211, Maddy Love Castiel, Kid'sDarkWolf, BloodyRosie and one guest for last chapter's reviews!
25
"You know, we should do more things as a couple!" the archangel suddenly stated which earned him a very surprised look from the younger Winchester. Dean, however, was forced to spit out his coffee before he chocked on it. That he was sort of, kind of, okay with his brother's relationship with the archangel didn't mean that he wanted to see, hear or know anything of it, thank you very much!
"Okay," Sam replied slowly, still trying to figure out what exactly Gabriel was on about, "Can we talk about that after I take my shower?"
"It'll be too late then," Gabriel replied very seriously before he added, "The shower is exactly what I was talking about!"
Neither Winchester had to look to know that the infamous waggling eyebrows had made an appearance. Dean especially didn't want to look, anyway.
"I did not just hear that!" the older Winchester grumbled. Oh, the things he had to put up with! He wasn't only imagining that the archangel had gotten more annoying since they had left Bobby's a couple of days ago, either. Sam seemed to get flustered more frequently, as well. Seriously, Dean didn't know why his younger brother was putting up with the douchebag, but then again, when Sam wasn't feeling embarrassed he seemed to be more content than he had been in a long time. That still didn't mean that Dean wanted to know where that contentedness came from!
"Shared baths are a great transition into nakedness," Gabriel insisted as if he was speaking about scientific facts, though the grin at the end of his words took away from the impression. Sam couldn't quite help wondering what had brought this one. Also, he was rather sure that the archangel had taken that little piece of advice from an episode of the Simpsons.
"This is the moment where I leave," Dean exclaimed, grabbing his jacket and the keys to the Impala and muttering, "Douchebag angel!"
The younger Winchester really couldn't blame his brother. He had thought about suggesting that they get separate rooms a few times recently, but things had never gotten quite this bad before. He still had thought about the option often, because sharing a room with Dean was limiting the chances for taking the next few steps in getting intimate with Gabriel.
"What the hell has gotten into you?" Sam asked the archangel in a slightly annoyed tone. Yes, he didn't really love being embarrassed in front of his brother and he sure as hell didn't love discussing his sex life in front of Dean! For some reason he did love Gabriel, though.
"I know what hasn't gotten into -," the archangel started before a very serious bitch-face from the human stopped him. Alright, he was walking on thin ice, but he had to push his limits every now and then.
"Is that what this is all about?" the younger Winchester sighed deeply. He had feared that this moment would come sooner or later, but this was definitely too soon for him.
"Hey, I don't want to push you," Gabriel replied in a joking tone, "But I hear that a case of blue balls as severe as this one might cause the affected area to die off and I think you might regret letting that happen some day."
This was the point when Sam just stopped listening so he wouldn't have to actually think about the things the archangel was talking about. It looked like Gabriel wasn't quite done speaking, even though his partner was ignoring him, though. After a few moments the archangel snapped his fingers in front of Sam's nose a couple of times to get his attention again.
"I said, do you want photographic evidence?" Gabriel repeated himself with a grin.
The younger Winchester shook his head a couple of times and snorted amusedly. He put his palms on the archangel's cheeks and leaned in closer to place a short peck on his lips.
"You're so lucky you're pretty," he whispered and pretty much considered the conversation over. Gabriel just had to know that he wasn't getting anywhere with all this. After all, he wasn't stupid and not even quite as ignorant as he let himself appear sometimes.
"Whatever. You go have your shower. I promise, I won't peek," Gabriel stated with a smirk and disappeared before Sam could have said anything back.
The younger Winchester had never felt quite this paranoid while taking a shower before.
When Sam came out of the bathroom, he was in for a surprise of the not too pleasant kind.
"Crowley," he greeted the demon none too happy to have to deal with this on his own. Actually, he had Gabriel to thank for that since he had been the one to scare Dean off, before.
"Do you always take so long to wash your hair?" Crowley replied, not bothering to look at the man he was talking to but looking at the phone in his hand instead.
"Do you always break and enter as you please? Oh hell, who am I talking to?" Sam shot back. It took the Winchester a few more moments to realize that Crowley was in fact playing around with his phone, however. The human stepped closer to the demon and held his hand out demonstratively.
"Quite impressive for such a shortie," Crowley commented as he gave the phone back to its rightful owner.
Sam was confused at first, but then he quickly glanced at the display of his telephone to get his worst suspicion confirmed. He was quite annoyed at this point, but still not annoyed enough to immediately delete the picture Gabriel had apparently sent him when he had been under the shower.
'Bravo, you managed to impress Crowley!' he typed a quick message to the archangel before he even shot the demon a very pissed off look. If he hadn't been a little mad at Gabriel for sending him that message in the first place, he might have defended the archangel more vocally.
"Seriously," Crowley started in a very business-like tone that didn't quite match what he was actually saying, "Aren't you afraid you will damage your back, having to bow down that far all the time?"
"Like you're any taller," Sam couldn't help commenting, even though he knew that just keeping silent would have been better. He really didn't want to discuss anything concerning Gabriel with the demon.
"I have at least half an inch on that dwarf!" Crowley insisted immediately.
The younger Winchester couldn't quite believe the sort of conversations he found himself participating in these days. At least they were talking about body heights, though.
"But I can smite your ass with a simple thought," Gabriel retorted. He had appeared next to Sam just as the demon had made his last comment. At the mention of Crowley's name in the text-message he had received, the archangel had returned to the younger Winchester's side as quickly as possible.
After all, Sam seemed to be a magnet for people trying to kill him. Even if the archangel didn't think that they had anything to fear from Crowley, as long as Lucifer wasn't put back into the box anyway, he wasn't going to take any chances.
The younger Winchester found it a little concerning that he was secretly quite amused about the verbal pissing contest the two supernatural beings were just having. He was too glad that they didn't get him involved into it to want to draw any attention to himself, however.
"I hadn't thought you were going to show that picture around, by the way," Gabriel joked lightly after a moment, nudging Sam with his elbow. The archangel was nothing if not completely confident about and content with his physical form however, so he didn't really care who saw.
Apparently, the same didn't apply to the younger Winchester, who looked rather uncomfortable, even if he was trying not to show it.
"He just left his phone in the open," Crowley explained to Gabriel, "Gigantor hasn't even taken a good look, yet."
The archangel didn't pretend that he wasn't disappointed, but Sam tried to pretend that he wasn't even more embarrassed than before. It seemed the demon and the angel would make quite the team under different circumstances. Then again, it surely was better for all the potential victims that they hadn't teamed up, yet.
"Did you actually have a reason for showing up?" the younger Winchester asked rather impatiently, finally. He wanted to change the topic and he wanted to change it now, dammit!
"I found Pestilence," Crowley answered without further ado.
Sam would nearly say that having to put up with the demon was worth the information they were about to receive. "Alright, I'll call Dean."
When the older Winchester returned to the motel room he shared with his brother, he had Castiel with him already. Sam assumed he had given the angel a call, after hearing that Crowley had news for them. Or he had called Castiel directly after he had left the motel earlier to complain about the archangel. The younger Winchester wouldn't put that past his older brother. As little as Dean liked to share his feelings, he seemed to like expressing his annoyance all the more.
"So, shoot!" Dean demanded once they were all inside the room and more or less settled. After what had happened with Anna, the older Winchester was even more wary of the team-extensions the archangel had more or less forced on them. In Dean's opinion Crowley was clearly the worst of those, too.
"It's good to see you. How nice of you to risk your life for us. Oh, it's nothing, my pleasure, really," Crowley snarked.
His complaint fell on deaf ears all around, however. It wasn't like the Winchesters usually got thanked for risking their lives! Castiel was probably even worse off. Besides, the angel didn't quite understand sarcasm in all its manifestations, yet.
"Aww, someone give that poor, misunderstood, demonic scumbag some compassion," Gabriel shot back sarcastically. He contemplated giving Crowley a cookie with some added salt or holy water just for the fun of it, but they actually still needed the demon to talk, so he'd have to wait to prank him later.
"Thank you, holy feather duster," Crowley replied completely seriously and earned a smirk from the archangel for it. Yes, under different circumstances they might have made a good team, or they might have been friends, even.
Dean cleared his throat noisily. "Pestilence?"
The demon really wasn't willing to let the humans rush him, but it wasn't like he enjoyed being in their motel room, so he thought they might as well get the show on the road.
"Pestilence has started his own little testing laboratory for biological warfare," Crowley began to speak before he made a portentous break to let his words sink in, "Apparently, he got bored of the plague some time around the 17th century."
Dean shivered as his mind went back to the possible future he had visited some months earlier. He wouldn't have to take a risk, if he decided to bet money that Pestilence was quite fond of the Croatoan virus these days. Then again, the fact that there was a testing facility suggested, that that wasn't the only thing the Horseman had up his sleeve. The older Winchester didn't like that thought one little bit and it seemed that all the others agreed.
"He's not alone, either," Crowley added, if only to make sure the morons didn't underestimate what they were up against. After all, he wanted them to succeed in this. They could go back to being mortal enemies after the Apocalypse was dealt with, though he supposed he wouldn't mind keeping some business ties afterward. You never knew when you would need a pair of idiotic humans and their pet angels to run errands.
"The place is swarming with demons and the security system is first-class. I would know, I had the same in my mansion," he elaborated.
"Alright, where is the place?" Dean asked after a short moment of silence.
If Pestilence was there and conducting any experiments that very moment, then they'd better get there as soon as possible to stop him. Stopping the Apocalypse wouldn't be quite the victory, if most of the human population of the Earth succumbed to one of Pestilence's viruses, anyway.
"Montana," Crowley replied, "You won't find this on Google maps, so I'd better make sure you actually get there, this time!"
Okay, so it wouldn't have done them any good, if they had actually gone after Lucifer as he had wanted them to, but that didn't mean that he was willing to risk them changing their minds about another mission!
Sam didn't quite like the sound of all of that, but they had no choice. If they wanted to get to Pestilence, they would have to put up with the less than ideal circumstances. He wondered if Gabriel would actually help them out with the demons this time, but there wasn't an actual reason to doubt that he would. The real question was how many demons the archangel could smite at once, or, maybe, how many he could smite at once without calling down the entire God-squad on them.
"Fine, let's go," Dean stated with a sort of fatalistic shrug.
"One does not simply walk into Mordor, foolish Winchester," the demon stated, leaving no doubt about just how stupid he thought Dean was being, "I have a plan."
Yes, Dean hated those words when they came from Gabriel, but he found he hated them even more coming out of Crowley's mouth.