Well, isn't this a quick update? I finished this early and decided to just get it up already. This is where the real drama starts.
Don't own McFly, as depressing as that is.
Shawna giggled as her best friend; Millie tried to catch butterflies that weren't really there. Her friend had smoked way too much and was as high as a kite. Poor thing was quite new to it as well. She'd have one hell of a downer.
Shawna was happy… but she was aware that… in reality, it was all a hallucination. A way of ignoring the inner turmoil she was going through. Drugs weren't fun anymore… they were a necessity. Shawna no longer felt the thrill. She felt… to be completely honest, ashamed. They weren't enough anymore, to distract her from life. She knew that Pete had ruined her. He had gotten what he wanted.
Dougie didn't want her anymore. He wouldn't say it, but she knew he thought it. He was tired of her childishness and her constant irritation when money was tight and she couldn't get any stuff from her dealer. He was tired of having to come to her rescue all the time and deal with her when she was up with the clouds.
Millie was running around when Shawna's phone rang. She saw that it was Mr Poynter, and she froze. Why would he call her?
"Hello," she answered the phone, trying to sound normal.
"Shawna," his voice was shaky, "Uh… Dougie's in the hospital."
Shawna's heart skipped a beat. Hospital?
"He… He… H-hurt himself."
Shawna's blood ran cold. Dougie hurt himself? H-He cut?! Shawna nearly dropped her phone in shock. She knew Dougie wasn't coping with Jazzie's death, but she had no idea he was…
"D-Did he t-try t-to…?" Shawna couldn't bring herself to say it.
Did he try to kill himself?
"We… we don't know."
That was the moment the guilt crept in. Was it her fault? Did he display the signs of depression and she was too high to notice? Did their relationship issues have something to do with it?
Shawna knew she should've been there for him, after Jazzie's death. She was a shit girlfriend.
"I-I'll be there in a minute Mr Poynter."
Shawna ran to the hospital that thankfully wasn't too far away from the park Millie and her were in. She rushed to the desk that told her what room Dougie was in and she rushed up to the room.
The room was empty spare Dougie and all the machines he was connected to. He was as white as a sheet. His eyes were closed and the constant beeping of the machines was the only sound to be heard. The most prominent thing that struck Shawna was the bandages on his wrists… and the dots of red where blood was starting to seep through. Shawna stared at them, feeling nauseous. Tears stung her eyes. She should've noticed. She should've noticed. She could've prevented this.
And that's when she broke down.
Shawna stood up from the bed and rushed out of the room. She couldn't believe how close she was to losing him back then. The doctors said that if they found him half an hour later, he would've died. As she leant against the wall in the corridor, she tried to contain herself, to calm her breathing. She couldn't get the image of Dougie in the hospital out of her mind. She felt the sudden craving for the narcotics she had grew so dependent on before, to make her feel better and shook her head. No! No, they began this whole mess.
"Shaw?" Kimmy's faint voice came from her room. Shawna looked up at her. "What's wrong?"
Shawna ran to her sister and hugged her tightly, letting herself cry, "I can't lose him, Kim. I can't lose him!"
Dougie
I woke up in the middle of the night to the bed empty on Shawna's side. I frowned. I sat up and put my head in my hands. I rarely got a full night's sleep after I received the letter. It was haunting my mind. I looked down at myself and noticed I was still fully dressed from the day before. I sighed and decided to take off the hoodie, feeling myself cool down as I did. Sweat was beading my forehead, and I hadn't even noticed it. I looked at my scars and sighed. They weren't noticeable anymore unless you were aware of them. For that I was glad; they were a memory I wanted erased. I heard soft voices, and recognized them as Kimmy and Shawna. I bit my lip, wondering if I should go and see what they were talking about at 3 am.
I made sure James was far enough from either edge of the bed and got up. I exited the room and noticed the sound came from downstairs. I walked downstairs… or rather stumbled in my tired state and entered the kitchen where they were talking with mugs of coffee. They both looked up as I entered, and I noticed that Shawna had been crying.
Ah, shit. I'm no good with teary girls. But I had to comfort her, seeing her sad devastated me.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked her softly, hugging her. She just shook her head, put her mug down and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I looked over at Kimmy, who just shook her head at me as well, before returning upstairs. Girls.
"Dougie?" Shawna whispered against my chest.
"Yeah?"
"Promise me one thing. Promise me you'll do anything in your power to not get hurt or caught." She looked me in the eye. Was this what it was all about?
"Of course." I said without hesitation.
"Say that you promise."
"I promise." I told her seriously, and kissed the top of her head, "Now come on. Back to bed."
Kimmy sighed as she lay back on her bed. She wished she had what her sister had with Dougie. How the prospect of losing Dougie made Shawna go mad, and broke her. Kimmy never had that, and she was five years older than her sister. And then when Dougie came downstairs and the look at his face when he noticed Shawna was crying showed that Shawna's feelings were surely returned.
Kimmy sighed. Her main focus was taking down the bastard known as The Racketeer. She had to concentrate on that. She had to do Carson's bidding and end the bastard. Her job was simple, but risky. Not as risky as Dougie's though. She understood Shawna's worry. Of all the roles, his was one of the most dangerous to play.
Dougie
I woke up to something poking me in the face and some giggling. I groaned and rolled over. It was way too early to get up. The poking continued and I felt small hands grabbing my arm. I opened one eye and saw that James was busy trying to wake me up and Shawna standing by the bed, fully dressed, and giggling.
"What time is it?" I groaned.
"Nearly midday." She grinned. I sighed and got up taking James with me. She took James off me and pushed me to the bathroom ordering me to take a shower.
After the shower I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed I looked much healthier. The blonde hair made me look more like myself, and I wasn't as skinny. I still looked tired, but that was understandable. I bit my lip and decided to take the lip ring out. It went on my nerves now. I was satisfied with what I saw. I was healthy. I no longer felt like I was suffocating.
I put on the clothes Shawna had left for me and froze when I saw the hoodie she had left me. It was the one I wore the night of our first time. I forgot it there when I snuck out of the house after we heard Mr and Mrs Jackson return. I grinned and put it on, surprised it still fit me – but then again it was like three sizes too big for me back then – mum always bought clothes she knew would last. I quickly dried my hair with the towel and walked back to Shawna's room.
When I entered her room, she and Kimmy were talking in hushed voices. They saw me enter and Kimmy pulled me over to them.
"Carson called. They know." She hissed.
"What?" my eyes went wide.
"Nate called him and said they know about you. Only you." Shawna said looking slightly distressed.
"Shit! How could they know? I was being extra careful!" I damned myself. Shit! Shit! Shit! I was fucked! I was in for it! I was going to be killed! I started pacing around the room, in full on panic mode.
"Nate reckons they have an insider… a guy came and asked him about you… he thinks you have a traitor. Have you told anyone?"
Tom.
Oooh, Dougie has a traitor! Is it really Tom? Or is it someone else?