Hey! I hope all you fanfiction darlings are having a lovely summer, again I apologize for the slow updates, but I guess that's just the way it is.

Here we are on Chapter 25, which so far is my personal least favorite of all of the previous I've written. I really hope you like it more than I do. *fingers crossed*

Just a fair warning, this chapter does talk about torture, which I know is a sensitive subject. I kept changing my mind on how I was going to do this chapter, and don't worry it isn't graphic, but there is some description. (PS. I got most of the torture methods from an episode of Missing, all rights go to them)

And the usual disclaimer: All of the GG characters and plot line belong to Ms. Ally Carter.

Chapter Twenty-Five

I suddenly had the urge to smash my fist through the computer screen. Or better yet, kick down the door to our makeshift interrogation room and personally strangle Jason Snider. He was guilty as hell and I couldn't believe he had the nerve to lie to us.

Zach, however, was much more composed than I was, and didn't even miss a beat. I finally understood why Ryan had insisted that he would be the one to interview Snider. After Snider's claim that we had the wrong guy, Zach just clasped his hands together on the table and leaned even closer towards Snider.

"If you think that I believed a word in your last sentence, you're in for an unfortunate surprise." Zach growled. "Now let's try again. Where's Rebecca Baxter?"

But as great an interrogator as Zach was, Jason Snider wasn't intimidated yet. "If you think that I'm going to give you any information, you're in for an unfortunate surprise." Snider countered with a smirk. And there's nothing Zach hates more than someone stealing his smirk. He put his game face on.

Zach opened the folder in front of him and began pulling out sheets of paper and placing them in front of Snider. "Do you know what these are Jason?" He questioned, but didn't wait for an answer. "These are formal Interpol, FBI, and MI5 charges. Looks like you are wanted in over 10 countries. I know that some of these countries aren't exactly places where you want to serve out a prison sentence. So you're looking at two options. One, you can cooperate with me and maybe I'll be generous when I choose where to send you. And two, you can decide not to cooperate and I promise you you'll regret it." Zach's emerald eyes stared Snider down.

Snider sat silent for a moment, considering his options. "I knew your mother, Zachary. I wonder how she would feel about the path you've chosen, betraying the people who practically raised you. Trying to be some big hero, as if that will make you any better of an operative than those of us on the other side." Snider sneered. I felt my eyes widen at his bravery, and held my breath to see how Zach would react. Snider was baiting him.

But Zach fortunately, didn't stoop to take the bait. He kept his cool and slid all of the papers back into the file, and then stood up to leave the room. With his hand on the doorknob he turned back to Snider. "I'm still alive, unlike my mother, and I'm also not the operative who got themselves caught. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to see if North Korea has an available spot in Kwan-li-so No.22."

Now it was Snider's turn to feel uncomfortable. The thought of getting sent to Kwan-li-so was a million times worse than any sort of torture. Snider was familiar with the brutality of the infamous prison. Ryan and Zach were out of the room and the door was almost shut when Snider yelled, "Send me away, and I promise you will never see Rebecca Baxter again!"

By now, Zach had had enough. He spun around and marched back through the door, slamming it shut behind him.

He jerked Snider's chair away from the table and grabbed him in a firm chokehold. I could practically see the anger and annoyance pulsing through Zach, and I had experienced first-hand the determination of Zachary Goode when he was angry.

"I'm not afraid to kill you Snider," Zach hissed. "And I know that you know what Blackthorne is capable of teaching their students of, since you recruit there. Now, I want details on Bex Baxter." Zach tightened his chokehold, and Snider's eyes widened a bit.

"You'll have to kill me first." Snider replied.

Zach released Jason Snider back into his chair, and Snider immediately raised a hand to rub his neck, where a bruise was already forming. He looked at Zach, who just walked through the door and said, "You asked for it."

I cringed. This was not going well at all, not only was Snider being un-cooperative, Zach had had to change his tactic, which made him look weak. Now we were going to have to resort to physical coercion.

I looked up from the computer to see Zach and Ryan enter the room. Zach's green eyes were on fire with anger, and Ryan looked uncomfortable.

"Get the bag Cammie." Zach demanded.

I looked at him before I even considered moving. "Are you sure about that?" I questioned. I looked at Ryan.

Ryan shrugged, "This is your guys' op, and it's up to you how far you're willing to go. I don't want to influence the decision."

"Come on Cammie, get the bag." Zach said again.

"You know what this means?"

"Yes I bloody know what this means!" Zach yelled. He pointed at the live feed of Jason Snider still on my computer. "Guys like him don't deserve sympathy, Cammie. What he's done in his lifetime is unforgivable by any standards! He's made young men into assassins for the wrong side Cammie, and he knows where your best friend is. It's our only option."

I quietly got up; I knew Zach was right, as much as I didn't like it. A few minutes I returned carrying the black bag that contained two car batteries, wires, a hosepipe, buckets for water, an empty feed sack, pliers, and some miscellaneous other tools. I handed it to Zach and sat down. Ryan stayed behind as Zach went back into the interrogation room and sat down with me.

We saw Zach walk through the door. Snider eyed the black bag, as if he knew the danger it contained.

"You asked for death, Snider. But I'm not willing to give you that satisfaction. I'm going to push you to the brink, but keep you alive, just so the pain hurts so much that you'll tell me what I want to know." Zach began spreading the contents of the black bag on the table.

Memories of my junior year came flooding back as I saw the tools. The scars on my arms had given away the fact that I had been tortured that summer. And even though I didn't remember it, the residual mental pain from the torture had haunted me for years.

I stood up, the chair scraping against the floor. Ryan, who was startled, looked up at me. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I shook my head. "I can't watch this, Ryan. I need to go." I said, as the full reality of what Zach was going to do hit me. How could I allow him to lower himself to the standards of brutal criminals? I suddenly felt a crushing pressure, as if the room was closing in on me, as the image of Zach in the interrogation room burned in my skull. He was going to torture Snider.

It became too much. I hit the door at almost a full run, and was out of the house before Ryan knew what was happening. The brisk temperature hit my face as I stood on the sidewalk, looking down the dingy corridor of houses that ran along the street.

I turned right and began running. My feet hit the pavement and I tried to erase the thoughts crossing my mind. Zach would start by breaking knuckles, each crack a painful blow. Then he would begin pulling teeth, one by one. I knew the procedure, I wasn't ignorant. Snider would just barely stay alive through the electrocution that would follow. At some point, tears began streaming down my face.

What I was doing was beyond stupid, and probably broke every rule in the book. As shady looking cars drove past me, I knew any of them could be filled with people who were looking for me. But sometimes, the pressure of always doing everything to perfection gets to a spy. And sometimes the image of a girl's boyfriend about to torture someone gets to her. And maybe frustration at my life got to me. So I kept running. Placing one foot in front of the other. Not planning on where I was going, just running.

At some point, I reached a more decent neighborhood where I found a park. In the cool of the almost-evening, it was barren. Smart parents didn't allow their children to stay out and catch colds. I found a lone swing and allowed sobs to rack my body. Tears blurred my vision, and my nose ran.

I thought about the instant, when underneath a mountain, I found out Zach was an assassin. I thought about the moment, when people told me that two of the most important men in my life had ties to a terrorist organization. I thought about the day, when I found my father's grave. I thought about the sound, of Zach's gun shooting his mother. I thought about all the times I had pushed my conscious aside to make an operation successful. I remembered the last time I had seen Bex; we had met at our favorite restaurant in Alexandria. Images flashed through my brain, refusing to stop, until I let out a single cry.

The evening was beginning to set in. I knew I needed to go back, Zach and Ryan were for sure wondering where I was, for who knows how long I had been out. But something inside me didn't want to go back. Maybe if I stayed in the small park, life's problems would disappear and I could be like one of the children who climbed along the monkey bars. Careless.

But I knew that wasn't realistic. So I sat, having a mental battle with myself. Lost in my own head, I jumped when I heard the voice behind me.

"Cammie?"

Quickly wiping my eyes, I turned around. There Zach stood in his leather jacket. His hands were shoved in his pockets and a look of sadness seemed to mask his face. He sat in the swing next to me and turned his head to look at me.

"Ryan told me about earlier."

I wasn't surprised. I ran a hand through my tangled hair. I wasn't quite sure of what to say so I asked the question that I wanted to know the answer to.

"Did you go through with it?" I avoided eye contact, ashamed on some level. I was supposed to be used to this. I wasn't supposed to take off crying every time a boundary was crossed.

Zach sighed and the swing creaked as he shifted his weight. "Yes."

I couldn't stop the small noise that escaped my lips. "How bad was it?" I cringed, almost not wanting to know.

I snuck a peek at Zach, he shook his head slightly. "He's fine. Two fingers and he cracked. He's all bandaged and has medication."

I pressed my lips together. On one hand, relief filled me for the fact that Snider hadn't endured much pain. On the other, I was still partially responsible for the pain he had had to endure.

"Cammie-" Zach tried to begin.

"Is this really the way it's supposed to be?" I whispered. "We're allowed to commit evils because we're doing it for the right reasons?" I shook my head and finally made eye contact with Zach. "He feels pain just like I do Zach. Just like I do."

Zach left his swing and squatted in front of me. Taking both of my limp hands in his own warm ones, he spoke. "Cam. I never wanted you to see me like that." His voice was filled with remorse. "I don't want to become the monster that I'm supposed to become. But I didn't know what to do, my training kicked in, and…I'm sorry." His green eyes were fixed with my own tear-filled ones.

"We're all monsters." I breathed. "I know what it's like and yet I allow it to happen."

Zach squeezed my hands. "Don't be like that. You were innocent when they tore your life apart. The man back at the house is not innocent. And we do what we have to. I just never want you to have to go back to that place of pain again." He cupped my cheek with his hand. "I know how hard this is Cammie. I've been there. Please come back to the house with me."

I wiped at my eyes and laughed. "You know sometimes I honestly wish I could hide from all of this?"

Zach let a small smile appear and scoffed. "If only we could."

"I guess we do what we have to and learn from it. I guess that's the only way we'll ever survive." I said.

Zach sighed and looked off at the disappearing sun. Then he turned back to me, his face orange in the glow of the dusk. He stood up and pulled me so I was standing with him.

"I'm always going to be here for you Cammie. And I wish that we didn't have to do what we do, but I'm going to be right by your side to make it better." He pulled me closer.

I stared up at him, wondering how we were going to make it; through everything. People like us were supposed to do this on our own.

Zach seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, he brought our entwined fingers up and I looked at them. His strong, callused hand with my smaller, but just as lethal one. I hoped that I would always remember that image, of our hands together.

And then I kissed him. There was nothing else in the world, as he kissed back with a slow desperation. We were both broken inside, and were doing everything in our power to heal each other. I was lost, but I knew I wanted Zach. I wanted him for all of his flaws, for all of his sins, for all of him.

Time slowed down for a while, with Zach's arms wrapped around me and our bodies so close we could feel the other's heartbeat. This was our escape; each other. And I wanted that escape to always be there, even if it was only for a little while.

When we both came back to reality, I took a small step back from Zach. His arms still held me. "Thank you," I breathed.

Zach smiled, "Anytime." He gently pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Zach," I said after a minute.

"Yeah," he responded.

"Let's go back, I'm cold." I said with a small shiver to make my point. Zach laughed and we began walking, Zach never taking his arm from around my shoulders.

When we got back to the safe house, I took a deep breath before walking through the door. Although I was done running away from this mission, it was still going to be difficult to allow myself to emotionally detach from everything. The small house was dead quite, and I felt like an intruder as my footsteps made sounds on the antique wooden floorboards. We found Ryan in the kitchen, where he sat eating soup.

As we entered the room, Ryan looked up. A look of relief crossed his face when I walked in after Zach.

"You found her." Ryan said, mostly to Zach.

Zach smirked and began to rummage through cabinets, looking for something to eat. "Of course I did."

A moment of awkwardness ensued. I felt like a young child, who was in a room of adults who were too scared to talk to me, fearing that I might not be able to handle it. Desperately wanting to the break the silence, I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "This, um, situation brought up some unresolved issues, and I lost it."

Ryan nodded. "No hard feelings, this has been taxing on all of us, especially you." We exchanged small smiles.

Zach was continuing to look for something to eat, so Ryan turned in his chair, "There's canned soup in the bottom right cabinet." Zach found it and sent a grateful look in Ryan's direction. He grabbed some cans and walked over to me.

"We have expired clam chowder, chicken noodle a la broth, beef stew, or tomato on the menu tonight." Zach joked.

I laughed and shrugged, "Anything but the clam chowder." Zach went to work finding a pot and heating the food and I sat down with Ryan. A few minutes later, we all had warm, but slightly disgusting bowls of soup in front of us. The only sound in the room was spoons clanking against bowls.

"You said Snider cracked," I said, finally working up the nerve, "so what did he tell you?"

Ryan and Zach exchanged a look, and I waited for someone to answer my question.

"We know who has Bex," Zach finally said. "She's being held in the basement of one of the local COC agent's mansion outside of Dublin. We also know that in five days, if she doesn't talk, they'll kill her."

"Sooo," I said slowly, taking it all in, "We have five days to rescue Bex or she dies?"

This time Ryan answered my question, "Exactly."

Okay, so there it is. I promise things are going to pick up, to me it seems like I've been dragging this out forever, does it seem that way to you? I hope that I manged to make the whole torture situation reasonable, I kept changing my mind on how to write this, it was really hard. And yes Zach did go through with it, but he has a soul, and that's what I was trying to show in the second half of the story.

Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated, so leave me some! I'd love to hear thoughts, suggestions, constructive criticism, ect!

School's close to starting*groan*, but I'm going to try to get one if not two chapters up before then.

Thanks!

~GenuineQT~