Clary was waiting outside for the meeting to end up. She could watch the judgment but she couldn't go to the meetings of the Clave, not yet. She couldn't believe her brother was different, but that girl was really convincing. It was getting cold outside, so she got in again, on the big room where most of people who couldn't be at the meeting, were waiting. She saw Sebastian with the angel's girl, talking. He was smiling, but not the kind of smile he used before, it was something really different. She went walking slowly until the place he was, she wanted to ask to that girl how she could be so terrible, to defend a monster. She wanted to ask her if she knew what her brother really was, but she stopped a few steps away, listening to him and the girl.

"You were amazing." He said.

"Well, yes, I know. This is my job, to be amazing."

"I want to tell you something."

"Then go ahead."

"I… Oh, I'll suck at it; I'm not good with those kinds of speeches and all. But I have to say it. I don't know what the Clave will decide, but I'm not afraid. I'm glad to have you here with me, even though I know that's selfish. I just hope they don't punish you because of me. If they kill me…"

"Don't say that."

"I'm not saying they will, but if they do… I'm just being realistic. This is a possibility. And if it happens, I want to you to know you're not guilty, you made everything you could. I want you to know, when you're gone too, in heaven, that I'll be happy to know you're happy. "We're not just joined by our bodies, but by our souls. It could never be any different and this is the kind of binding no one can ever break, no one in earth, no one in heaven, no one in hell.""

"Wow, you remember that?"

"It would be hard to forget something like this. But as I was saying, no matter what happens, no one can ever break our binding. And there's something I never told you, because… Because I'm a jerk and I'm terrible with this romance stuff, but… I love you." The girl's hand went to his cheek.

"I love you too."

"Well, of course you do. Who doesn't?"

"I'm pretty sure I could make a list with the names of people who doesn't, most of them are inside of the meeting's room, but I don't think I'd have paper enough to finish it." He laughed, leaned in and kissed her forehead. Clary got closer now, standing beside of the girl.

"Clary." Sebastian said and the angel girl looked at her.

"The first time Jace saw me, he thought I was you, you know? Men, they think all the redhead girls look alike." She looked at Sebastian and raised an eyebrow.

"In my defense, it was dark the first time I saw you."

"You have a permanent rune for night sight." Sebastian smiled.

"You two look a little alike. Not my fault."

"Anyway, nice to meet you, Clarissa. I've heard about your runes and about how brave you are." She wasn't hoping anything nice from the girl who was at the judgment today earlier or from any angel, but she was being gentle.

"Nice to meet you too."

"I'll… Get some water. Be right back." She left and Clary looked at her brother. He was tense, his hands inside of his pockets.

"When my mother looks at you closely, she'll know if you're lying or not, you know that, right?"

"I'm not lying. She can look at me through microscope if she wants to." She still hated him, but something about the way he looked and spoke, held her back from screaming with him. "Look, Clarissa, I know it won't make things better, but I'm sorry for… Everything. I almost raped you, and I almost changed you. I'm sorry for that. Nice speech to write in a Christmas card, don't you think? "Well, you're cool. I'm sorry for almost raping you and all, you know, sometimes people fight and try to create a demon's army, but you are still my sister. Merry Christmas, xoxo."" He was trying to make jokes, but she could see he was as nervous as she was.

"I won't tell you it's ok, because you know it will never be. But if it's true, if you really changed, and I highly doubt it, my mother… I mean, our mother, will want to see you and talk to you. She still cries over you a lot." He looked up at her eyes; she couldn't tell exactly what kind of emotions crossed his face.

"She does?"

"Of course, you're her son." He didn't reply, just nodded.

"You shouldn't be talking to me, Jace won't like it."

"He's not around now, but I guess I already said everything I had to. About our mother, when she comes to talk to you, don't hurt her." It was the weirdest conversation ever. She walked away, feeling the weight of his look at her back.

As soon as his sister was gone, he saw his mother looking at him from the other side of the room. She couldn't join the meeting, because they said she was unable to be fair, since she was his mother. He looked at her as well, but he couldn't just talk to her. Suddenly, Sophia spoke behind of him.

"You should talk to her." He was so distracted he didn't hear her steps. Or probably she didn't want to be heard.

"I won't do that. What should I say? "Hey, mom, remember me? I'm your son, that murderer one who would be happy to kill you a few months ago, who'd rape his own sister.""

"Seems something good to write on your grave if you die."

"I know what they'll write down there, something like "Sexy murderer, "loving" brother and best lover ever.""

"Hm… Well, one of those things are right, you are sexy."

"So you're saying I'm not a good lover?"

"I didn't have many lovers before of you, so I guess I'm not able to judge, am I? In fact, I didn't have any lover before of you."

"Talking about sex…"

"Oh, we are talking about sex? Good to know."

"If the Clave doesn't kill me, don't change your clothes, I want to take it off with my own hands, ok?" She laughed.

"I'll try to remember that. Now stop talking those things because your mother is coming, try to look nice." He would make some joke about it, but he couldn't. He looked away from Sophia's face and saw his mother.

"Jonathan."

"Hey, Jocelyn." Should he call her Jocelyn or mother? Well, he didn't know. She looked inside of his eyes and then through his face, trying to find something. Her eyes were full of tears. She smiled.

"It's true."

"What?"

"It's true, you're different."

"How can you see it like this?" Clary said she would know, but he didn't really believe it. He always heard all that stories about how mothers could feel what their children felt, but to him, that was nothing. It couldn't be true, could it?

"Your eyes. The first time I saw it, it was black, completely black, empty of humanity. They're different." It felt so weird, his mother looking like this in front of him, smiling and almost crying at the same time. He barely knew her, he didn't feel like he should try to comfort her, he didn't know what to say or how to act. He was frozen. She looked like it too, like if she thought she should hug him because he was her son, but she shouldn't because he was a stranger, ex-murderer.

"He's still learning how to deal with his new feelings, I don't know if he should be facing strong emotions now." Sophia said breaking the silence, sounding sweet and protective at the same time. Jocelyn looked at her as if she didn't notice her before. Jocelyn nodded.

"I understand. You did this, didn't you? You changed him."

"Yes, I did."

"Thank you." She said and walked away.

"I had enough family weird conversations for today, don't you think? Or you want to bring Valentine back to life for a little chat too?" Sophia smiled at him.

"I'm proud of you."

The doors of the meeting room got open.

"The Clave has decided." A woman said and everyone was looking at her. It's time, Jonathan thought. Sophia held his hand. He turned around to look at her, she kissed his lips gently, sadly and at the same time it tasted like hope. It tasted like "goodbye" and "don't worry, you'll be fine". That made his fear goes away. He could face it, as long as he knew that if he lived, he'd have someone waiting for him to come back. And if he died, someone would care, someone would cry for him.