AN: Gosh, I had no idea how much Jason was loved.

A brief insight to how this story develops: it is merely guided by the happenings of the books, meaning certain events will take place simply because it happened in the books (i.e. sorcerer's stone, chamber reopened, Black escapes, quidditch world cup, tournament, etc.). How the characters develop, their personal lives and relationships are guided by the characters themselves, meaning if I try to force a part of the story to bend to my will, the characters balk and I get writer's block.

Certain events were utterly out of my control. Jason's fate, Blaise's betrothal, Harry's… no, I wanted him with Hermione, but he wasn't sure until the end of their second year. Even Dudley surprised me. So, Jason died. I cried. Daughter #2 refused to proofread the chapter until she simply had no choice because it had to be posted.

I have little to no control over how events unfold, the characters tell me what to write and I go with it. That said, this chapter was rewritten and revamped due to the outpour of reviews and certain characters demanded to be heard.

I'm sorry if you're angry over Jason's death. I'm sorry if you feel slighted, cheated, frustrated… I do hope you continue to read and even more so, I hope you enjoy the story.

Oh and for the record, Hermione's parents are not doctors, they're dentists.

Moving Ahead

Blaise stood at the foot of the bed in the middle of the room. Blaise's head drooped as if it were weighed down and the effort to raise it wasn't worth while.

Harry stood at the doorway - shame and guilt refusing to allow his feet to take him further into the bedroom - where he watched his friend.

Neither spoke for the longest time. Harry swiped at the moisture pooling in his eyes and quietly sniffed before he had even shed a tear. Blaise sighed softly. "I don't think I can…"

Harry jumped at the sudden sound of Blaise's voice. He hesitated to reach out, but after seeing Blaise's shoulders tremble Harry's feet decided that he would go to him. Harry gently rubbed Blaise's back when the taller boy sniffled.

Blaise had held his emotions in check throughout the funeral and the visit to the Vaisey's home afterwards. Not once did he mourn nor shed a tear. He moved through the motions of living, behaving as expected of a pureblood heir. Yet, standing in Jason's room at the Zabini villa alone - save for his remaining best friend - the tears came , the grief tore through him and he grabbed the front of Harry's shirt, clinging to him like a drowning man.

Harry held his friend and rocked him, consoling Blaise in their loss. He closed his eyes against his own grief to be the source of support that Blaise needed. Harry didn't know what else to do, he'd never seen that side of Blaise.

The friends were always there for each other, together as three or just one on one. When one needed to talk, be comforted, an ear, a shoulder, a pillar of strength, they would find what they needed in their dorm mates. At least one of the three would stay strong for the other. That position was usually held by Blaise; only it was Blaise who was in need and Harry was determined to be strong for him.

Harry was suddenly struck with a thought. Small things - actions, words, and pointed looks - came to mind and fell into place like pieces of a puzzle. "He called you Zee."

Blaise hummed and nodded. He didn't raise his head, keeping his face buried in the crook of Harry's neck, "Mhmm, he didn't think you'd understand."

Harry frowned, but bit back the hurt from the implication and held Blaise tighter. "That's…" Harry wanted to balk, dispute Blaise's claim, but Jason was gone so what did it matter now? "I wouldn't have cared. Jason was Jason, our best friend." Another thought tickled him slightly and a grin tugged at his features, "Did you call him Vee?"

"No."

"Good because I don't want you calling me Pee." Blaise chuckled softly between sobs and Harry grinned. The small smile slipped, "You two are my best mates. Nothing could have changed that."

"Walking in on him-"

"Would have been awkward, but no… even that wouldn't have changed things." Harry relaxed his hold when he felt Blaise's body drawing back. "You two are the closest I will ever get to having brothers. I just hope you can forgive me-"

"There's nothing to forgive." Blaise eased out of Harry's embrace and sat on the bed. He grabbed a pillow from Jason's bed and held it to his chest.

Harry felt bereft by the loss of Blaise's warmth as their embrace had comforted him as much as it had Blaise. He leaned against the bedpost. His guilt, doubts and fears niggled at him again. They had lost Jason; Harry was afraid he'd lose Blaise, too. "If I hadn't stopped-"

"I wish you would stop." Harry stiffened, Blaise sighed. "Harry, you need to stop beating yourself over this. Second guessing what happened that night won't bring Jason back. It won't give you peace of mind. It will drive you barmy with doubts and guilt. You know the rules, one of us has to be strong for the others and right now, I need you to be strong…" Blaise closed his eyes tightly as tears slipped unbidden down his cheeks, "I'm falling apart. I don't know how to stop it. I'm not… accustomed to showing… weakness."

Harry knew Blaise was right. "You aren't weak." He crouched in front of his friend and removed his shoes before easing Blaise onto the bed. "I'm here for you."

Blaise curled into the fetal position on his side, holding the pillow tight against him. Harry budged him over, took off his own shoes and crawled onto Jason's bed with his best friend. Blaise was so still Harry thought he had fallen asleep until he spoke, "Do you remember first year Christmas, when you and Jason found that mirror?"

"Sure."

"That's what he saw… that's what scared him." Blaise looked over his shoulder at Harry with watery, red-rimmed eyes, "He thought you had seen what he had seen."

"He told you what he saw then?"

"He had a crush on you first year. In the mirror he saw you two kissing." Blaise kept his back to Harry and didn't look at him again.

Harry realized Jason may have been right. He didn't understand, but then he really didn't have to. He just accepted his friends as they were. Jason and Blaise were his best mates. Jason was gone. Blaise was mourning. Harry slid his arm around his best friend and held Blaise until he cried himself to sleep.

Every year Harry looked forward to going back to Hogwarts, but that year hadn't held the same appeal it had the previous two. The majority of their school supplies had been purchased, including new robes, a formal white shirt with a bow tie to go with their recently purchased dress robes and extra treats for both Hedwig and Ne'ermore. Blaise and Harry were in Flourish and Blotts standing at the checkout counter when a small voice hitched, cleared and tried again. "H-hi."

The two boys turned towards the owner of the voice. Harry's heart lurched at the sight of her timid, sad smile. His hands trembled and he was suddenly overwhelmed once again with a feeling of loss. Blaise ignored his upbringing and impeccable manners, choosing instead to play his role that he and Harry had adapted the summer after their first year. Blaise held his arms open to her, Alia plunged towards him and he immediately wrapped her in his warm embrace. Alia had never before looked so small and fragile.

Harry felt the panic rise in him and he looked around the store for her parents. Mr. and Mrs. Vaisey stood near the door with Mrs. Zabini. The three spoke in hushed hurried tones. Mr. Vaisey looked angry and gestured frequently. Mrs. Zabini listened closely while Jason's mother looked their way. Harry dropped his eyes immediately, turning to the man behind the counter and paid for his books.

He had been working on letting go of the guilt, but Harry still had a hard time meeting their gaze. Anytime someone looked at him, he felt as if he was being judged and coming up short. Mrs. Zabini said he had survivor's guilt. Harry hadn't understood until she pointed out how he had wished he died instead of Jason.

The clerk gave Harry his change and rang up Blaise's books. "Harry?"

All thoughts aside, Harry stiffened with panic when Alia spoke to him. He turned again and choked on his response, "Alia."

Alia threw her arms around his waist, buried her face in his chest and Harry melted. He held the girl in his arms, rubbed her back with small circles as she asked with a small voice that he almost didn't hear, "You're still my big brother… right?"

"Of course I am!" Harry held the young girl tighter. "I wasn't sure if…" He let the words fade when Blaise glared at him. Alia's doubts weren't about his personal issues. She needed reassurance and he gave her a soft squeeze. "I'm always going to be here for you, Al."

Harry squeezed his eyes closed for a moment to swallow down his own anxieties. Now wasn't the time. Alia needed them to be strong. The boy nearly jumped out of his skin when a soft hand combed his hair back. His eyes sprang open and met the steady, pained gaze of Mrs. Vaisey. Harry noted for the first time that Jason got his hazel eyes from his mother. "Hello, Mrs. Vaisey."

Mrs. Vaisey kissed the top of his head and whispered, "Thank you."

He was stunned by her gratitude, "I didn't-"

She gave a somber smile and looked pointedly at Alia, "Yes, you have."

The boys said their greetings to both Vaisey parents, had a bit of polite small talk and were graciously led away by Mrs. Zabini. Out in Diagon Alley Harry rubbed his arms idly, "School is going to be so different."

Blaise took a long, steadying breath. "Indeed."

They hadn't made it far down the alley before, "Harry!"

The boy straightened immediately, hands dropping to his side and raised his head as he was taught. Harry's eyes quickly scanned the moving crowds of people until he saw the grinning man waving at him as he walked over. The man was no longer wearing a tie to tug at and his black hair was still neat, but the scruff of facial hair looked as if he hadn't shaved in days. His choice of clothes was amusing: black trousers that hung on his hips and a novel t-shirt with an old Muggle band 'The Who' imprinted on the front. "Mr. Black."

"I told you, Harry, just call me Sirius." Black blinked as his manners kicked in. "Maddalena, I didn't have a chance to thank you at the Ministry. Having Harry at the trial meant a great deal to me…" He shook his head and his grin widened, "You're more beautiful than you were during our days at Hogwarts."

Mrs. Zabini raised an elegant eyebrow and gave him an amused hum. Her eyes flicked over him critically, "Hmm, the years haven't been nearly as kind to you, Mr. Black. Although I suppose you've weathered well, under the circumstances."

Black barked a laugh and grinned at Mrs. Zabini before waving his friend over. The taller man that weaved towards them with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes looked worse than the last time they had seen each other. Harry noted more scars on the tired man, "Professor Lupin?"

"Must I remind you every time we meet that I'm no longer your professor?" Lupin grinned crookedly, "Hello, Harry. Good to see you, Blaise and Maddalena, you're stunning as always."

"Mr. Lupin," Mrs. Zabini nodded towards the man.

Harry could feel Blaise slide away in a protective gesture, to stand closer to his mother while staring at the two men silently. Harry tried to lessen the awkward silence that dropped quite suddenly, "What are you two up to?"

Black ran his fingers through his disheveled locks, "Had to go to Gringotts. Sort through the mess of my vault and that of Uncle Alphard's…" He waved a dismissive hand.

Mrs. Zabini turned to the two teens, "The hour is growing late. Shall we?"

His eyes widened, his back stiffened and Black stepped forward quickly, "Maddalena, would it be too forward of me to ask you all to dinner?"

She looked over Black's shoulder at the two boys; Harry gave a mostly imperceptible shrug of his shoulder. Blaise's lips tightened in a small grimace that dropped before either of the two men could see it. The signals received, Mrs. Zabini eyed both men before she raised a sculpted eyebrow at Lupin and Black, "I understand your desire to dine with your godson. However, an evening in public…" Her eyes swept over Black's clothing, "is unacceptable. Therefore I strongly suggest you follow us to the villa or send an owl to set up an appropriate appointment. Gentlemen."

Blaise stepped immediately to follow his mother. Harry paused and gave a small grin before following the two Zabinis. "Will you be joining us?"

Lupin scratched behind his ear and tugged at Black's sleeve to get the man moving before they were left behind. "We'd be honored."

"H-Harry?" Black tried again as he followed them, "I was hoping to… buy you a late birthday gift. Something from Quality Quidditch? A new broom or… gloves…"

The boy stiffened and pain was evident in his gaze. He spoke softly, "I don't play any more."

"What? Why?" Black grabbed the boy's shoulder and Harry pulled away gently but firmly.

"The game no longer holds the appeal it once had." Harry clenched his hands into fists to keep them from trembling, fighting an internal battle to keep from breaking into a trot as they continued their way towards the Leaky Cauldron. "Now hurry. Mrs. Zabini has been patient with your interruption to her schedule, but you are falling behind."

Exiting the floo, Harry gained his balance after his second step. He stood still and awaited for the usual spells to wash over him before he dared move from the spot. Mrs. Zabini cast her spells, her wand flicking with intent and soon any ash that had been on Harry was gone.

"Your purchases," Mrs. Zabini waited on the boys as they removed their small tower of next year's books as well as a small bag from Madam Malkin's. With another flick of her wand, their purchases grew back to its original size. "Dinner is at its usual time. Do not be late."

"Yes, ma'am," Harry gave her a quick nod and went to the stairs, ignoring the two men hovering behind Mrs. Zabini.

Harry hadn't even waited for Blaise as he normally would have, knowing the other boy would be only steps behind him. Upon reaching his room, Harry set his books on his trunk and dropped the bag on his bed. He looked at his watch and noted he had twenty minutes.

In his bathroom, Harry quickly washed his face and combed his hair. Back in his bedroom, Harry changed into a clean pair of trousers, a fresh shirt and quickly donned his necktie. He straightened his tie, slipped on his freshly shined shoes and made his way back to the dining room.

Harry stopped short in the hallway near the open door. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but many things about the whole incident surrounding Jason's death were never discussed with him or Blaise. Jason's name wasn't mentioned in the newspaper, only called him an under-aged wizard. The only information regarding the ordeal by the Daily Prophet was a paragraph stating 'certain Ministry workers are under investigation for destructive, overzealous behavior'.

"…the fact remains; Mr. Potter was at the Quidditch World Cup and associates his friend's death with the game. Simply-"

"Madd-"

"-give the boy time to mourn."

"I understand, but-"

"It has only been a week. He will eventually come to terms with what has happened-"

"No, he won't-"

"He will. In his own time."

"Not if he doesn't know what's going on."

"Have you ever raised a child?" Harry heard footsteps coming from the staircase. "You haven't seen the boy since he was toddler." Harry looked and watched Blaise walking towards him. "You met him one night, exchanged a few letters and now you behave as if you know the boy better than I do."

"I didn't-"

Harry raised a single finger to his lips. "You stand there and presume to tell me how the young man should react, while he has been living under this roof and I've witnessed his pain." Blaise raised an eyebrow but stayed silent as an exasperated huff was made by one of the two males within the room beyond them, presumably Black as Lupin had yet to speak. "He is not like you, some self-righteous Gryffindor."

"I'm not a-"

"He is a level headed young man that has not yet fully gone through the mourning process and you cannot force him to move faster than he is able to go."

"I'm not trying to force him to do anything." The petulant voice of Black growled. Harry laid his head against the wall behind him.

"Yet you question his reaction to a game because it doesn't fit your way of thinking."

"I didn't-"

"How long did it take you to mourn the loss of your best friend and his wife?"

"That's not fair-"

"Isn't it? The Potters were killed by the darkest wizard. Cut down well before their time. Twelve years you were imprisoned and during that time you hadn't let go, you hadn't mourned. You held on to anger and your need for revenge, yet you believe that this young man - six years younger than you were when you encountered the loss of his parents - should have completed his grieving in less than a fortnight."

Harry blindly reached out for Blaise; their hands clasped tightly together as they listened while Mrs. Zabini continued to read Black the riot act. "What you fail to see, Mr. Black is that our Mr. Potter has gone through both losses. While he was too young to understand the death of his parents, he mourned alone in his own way."

Mrs. Zabini's voice lost its harsh edge as the anger that spurred her forward slowly burned out, "Mr. Vaisey was caught by a number of spells that on their own would have simply stunned the child, but as he was caught by six spells fueled by overzealous, frightened men," she sounded resigned. "The impact was strong enough to incapacitate a dragon. His young heart…"

Another male voice spoke up when Mrs. Zabini's words faltered and the two boys in the hallway stiffened at his questions, "What about the inquiry? Has anything been done about the men involved?"

There was a long pause and the silence stretched for minutes, only broken by the chimes of the clock striking the hour. Harry and Blaise exchanged a confused look before Mrs. Zabini's voice rang out. "Dinner - as you both well know - is at six. Stop eavesdropping, you're late."

Blaise smirked at Harry's grimace and motioned for him to enter the room first. Harry took a calming breath, straightened his tie, ran his fingers through his hair and entered the dining room. A quick glance at the three occupants showed the adults standing near the fireplace, drinks in hand.

Mrs. Zabini watched the two teens enter, swept gracefully towards her chair at the head of the table and waited. Lupin looked uncomfortable as he shifted from one foot to the other and Black had an awkward, forced grin.

Harry moved immediately to Mrs. Zabini. She cupped his cheek and smiled softly, managing to say so much with just a look. Harry gave her a small nod and pulled her chair for her, allowing her to sit gracefully, "Thank you, Mr. Potter."

Blaise took his customary seat to her left and Harry sat at her right. Black sat beside Harry and Lupin sat uncomfortably at Blaise's side. As they settled in their seats, dinner appeared on the table and at each setting was a bowl of soup.

The silence was so thick it was palpable. Harry stirred his soup idly as Mrs. Zabini watched. After his soup grew cold she broke the stillness, "Where are you currently residing, Mr. Black? I can't imagine Walburga Black welcomed her prodigal son home with open, loving arms."

Black almost choked on his soup, swallowed hard before he set his spoon down and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "I'm staying with Remus. I had to wait until after the trial and my funds were released before I could search for a suitable home. I've looked at a few places, but haven't found anything to fulfill my needs."

Harry sat his spoon down and folded his hands on his lap. "What kind of home do you need?"

"I need a house out in the country somewhere. There's a certain… pet," Harry blinked, Black chuckled. "Buckbeak can't very well live in an apartment surrounded by Muggles."

"Right," Harry shook his head, "I didn't know you kept the Hippogriff. How is he?" Mrs. Zabini nudged Harry and looked pointedly at his soup. She cast a warming charm and he smiled with a small nod of thanks before he began eating.

"Well enough, I suppose. Remus and I are at his parent's old home. It's small, but far enough away from the city and others. There's a small woods behind the house for Buckbeak to hunt in, but no real place for him to fly safely."

"Maybe instead of moving, you could fix that place." Lupin looked up from his soup and stared intently across the table at Harry. "Unless of course you two need separate houses… Sorry, Mr. Lupin. I didn't mean to volunteer your parents' home."

"My parents don't live there any longer, it's mine now and I hadn't given it much thought, really." Lupin grinned sheepishly. "Harry's right, Sirius. You can stay as long as you want. It isn't as if I need the whole house."

"Thanks, Moony." Black cleared his throat and picked up his spoon, dropping his gaze to his bowl of soup. Harry saw the gesture, sat up straight and mentally braced himself as best he could for what would come next. "I'm sorry about your friend. I didn't know. The paper only said he was an under-aged wizard…" Black looked at Harry with a searching gaze but Harry was looking at Blaise at that point, sharing a pained look of understanding. "If you ever need to talk, I want you to know you can count on me to listen and be there for you."

"Thank you." Harry choked out the two words and pushed his bowl aside, no longer able to eat.

"Not just about your friend, but anything, Harry. If you just… well, for anything." Black sighed softly and Harry nodded at the table, unable to find his voice a second time.

Done with soup, they started on their main course. Lupin glanced at both boys. "That goes for me as well, both of you are welcome to contact me." Blaise stiffened and gripped his fork tightly, "I remember Jason fondly; he was a clever, witty young man." The young man cut his gaze from the table to the ex-professor. "I remember losing my own best friends and how difficult it was sorting through the range of emotions… the process was daunting. Sometimes talking with someone can help you sort through your feelings of sadness, anger, loss, guilt, hopelessness…"

Blaise tore his gaze away; the strain in keeping up his mask was evident in his features. The grip on his fork had not lessened, evident by his white knuckles. The Zabini heir swallowed audibly before he dared respond, "Your… concern is… noted and…" Harry looked up and gave Blaise a sad smile, "I appreciate the sentiment."

"Hogwarts Express leaves in two days." Harry's head spun to look at Mrs. Zabini. The sudden pained look on Harry's face stopped Mrs. Zabini from speaking for a moment and she gave him a reproachful look in return. "You cannot continue to hide, Mr. Potter. School will resume whether you're ready for it or not."

Harry winced and nodded his head unable to continue eye contact, "Yes, ma'am."

She hummed softly, "Hmm, Mr. Vaisey's demise was not publicized; typical Ministry cover up. That being the case, many will question his absence and I'd imagine your Headmaster will make an announcement at some point after the sorting. I'd like one or both of you to watch over Miss Vaisey."

The teenaged boys nodded immediately, but it was Blaise who spoke on behalf of them both, "We've discussed Alia. We've already decided to look out for her."

"Harry, maybe when you get back to Hogwarts and into the familiar school schedule, you'll even like quidditch again. Giving up a sport you like is a bit hasty, even if it is understandable." Black gave a half shrug. "I just don't want you to give up on something you love-"

"I don't love quidditch." Harry simply sighed at the doubtful look Black gave in return. "Maybe in time I can watch quidditch again, but I only joined because Jason wanted to be on the team. Sure I had fun playing, but half the fun was that one of my best friends was suffering alongside me during a horrible practice in freezing rain."

Mrs. Zabini spoke before Black could continue, "It is conceivable that a year refraining from directly participating will give you sufficient time to heal."

"Maybe," The napkin in his lap was twisted in his hand, knuckles white from the grip he had on it.

"Potter," Harry's head snapped up, hands stilled in his lap, eyes wide as he stared at Blaise. "Going back to Hogwarts isn't going to be the same. The dorm room isn't going to be the same. Just remember, you aren't alone." He felt his head bob up and down, but words refused to come to him. His best friend, his last dormmate, mimicked his action and nodded, "Eat your dinner before you hurt Cari's feelings."

Edited 10/17/2016