1 Month Later

Sherlock couldn't believe he had agreed to this, he must've been drugged at the time of his consent because there was no way he would've allowed this while in his right mind.

He tugged on the tight collar of his shirt and tried to wiggle his toes in the unbearably uncomfortable buckled shoes he was wearing. He glared up at the orderly state of his hair as it was practically glued to scalp, not to mention it was completely devoid of a hat.

"Do you think we could escape through the window?" Sherlock quietly inquired to John on his left.

"I doubt it; the guards would probably think it was some kind of assassination attempt." The doctor responded, nervously glancing at the red clad sentries posted all around the room.

"That's ridiculous, why would they think that?" The pirate muttered in irritation.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because she's had several attempts on her life already." John whispered back sharply.

"You're panicking." Sherlock observed.

"I am not."

"You're breathing patterns say otherwise."

"Yes well so do your sweaty palms."

The dark-haired man looked down at the slimy film that had formed on his hands and quickly wiped them on his pants before replacing them behind his back politely.

"It's the clothes; they're cutting off my blood flow." He said, trying to conceal the nervous tell.

"Yeah, well then it's the clothes for me too." John replied. They stood side by side for several more seconds, the doctor bouncing nervously while Sherlock stood so still one might mistake him for a painted sculpture. Finally the tension became too much for the blond haired man and he leaned over to his companion and murmured

"On second thought let's go for the window."

"All kneel before her majesty Queen Elizabeth." A voice rang out and every person in the room bent down on one knee, their heads bowed in respect for the monarch. John and Sherlock were among them, though there weren't many people, this was more of a private meeting, but there was enough blue blood in the room to make even Captain Holmes sweat.

They heard her before they saw her, too afraid to raise their heads even an inch the two men could only listen to the click clack of shoes upon the hard floor as their queen approached.

The sounds drew closer each moment until they stopped just before the impeccably dressed seamen. Sherlock was decorated in soft velvety blacks with white frills exploding through the cracks, his thin calves concealed by white tights.

John was similarly dressed only in a warm, earthy brown with a striped smock garnishing the opening by his chest.

Both of their hearts were pounding like hammers on steel as the silence dragged on.

"Rise." She finally spoke, her voice reverberating in the great hall.

John and Sherlock did as they were commanded, getting to their feet and catching their first glimpse of her majesty.

And what a glimpse it was.

Sherlock sucked in a breath and immediately averted his eyes, John only made a slight squeaking sound in his throat and continued to look straight ahead, trying not to acknowledge what was before him.

Not only was the queen a good inch taller than the gangly pirate captain, she was also three times as wide as his stout companion.

She wasn't fat, not in the slightest. But her dress occupied more space from front to back and side to side than the main mast of any ship either man had ever seen.

And it didn't stop there, the extravagant pattern and elaborate design actually made John nauseated to look at.

"I've heard a great deal about you Mr. Holmes." She said with a slight smile, as though she was privy to some interesting information.

"Indeed." The pirate responded, glancing at his brother who stood rigidly in the corner.

"Yes, and if you're at all like you're brother you at least have some notion as to why I've called you here." The queen stated knowingly, stepping as close to the dark-haired man as her dress would allow.

"I have a theory." Sherlock said with a sly smile which the queen returned.

"Do tell."

John was looking on to the back and forth between the two individuals with increasing interest as became closer to the realm of flirting.

"There's a new world in the west, the question now is who will take possession of it. You or the Spanish. The gold transported from those new lands is the future, and you can't allow that future to go to the Spaniards."

"Quite right, now where do you come in?" Her majesty inquired, circling Sherlock slowly, her keen eyes inspecting every inch of him.

"Can't have ships connected with the British Empire attacking the Spanish directly, that would mean war. Better to have them dealt with by someone less suspect, or rather more suspect. Pirates attacking ships laden with gold is nothing new, but if those pirates are working on your behalf…"

"Then England wins without Spain ever knowing it was intentional." John finished for the pirate, drawing the attention of the queen away from his friend for just a moment.

"A brilliant plan your majesty." The doctor said with a slight bow of his head. Her majesty regarded John with dark brown eyes before stepping over and extending her hand.

"I don't believe Mycroft mentioned you, what's your name?" She had gotten rather close to him in the time it took her to say this, close enough for him to notice her rotting blackish yellow teeth. Swallowing hard he accepted the hand and said

"Doctor John Watson." He was surprised at how firm the queen's grip was, but he was even more surprised by the fact that he was SHAKING THE QUEEN'S HAND!

"You're a member of my navy are you not?" She asked, releasing the doctor to step back and examining the two men.

"Yes, but how did you…?" John started, but drifted off when the queen smiled roguishly and winked.

Then the virgin queen turned on her heel and striding away, her shockingly red hair bouncing along as she went, not sparing a look for the seamen.

"I expect you to have set sail by first light tomorrow." She called over her shoulder as the massive doors at the end of the hall opened before her.

Sherlock and John got their last look at the magnificent queen as the doors were shut behind her, signifying that the monarch had concluded her business. The doctor and the pirate faced each other, both of their eyebrows up by their hairlines.

"Well." John sighed.

"Well." Sherlock repeated.

"We'd best not disobey the Queen."