Level Pair; Reproach 1/1
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
They follow the four that returned earlier in lazy fashion with Hinata babbling away with the occasional comment from Lev, Kuroo, or Bokuto.
Their Karasuno unit is largely quiet and wide-eyed, and Kageyama wonders what it must be like to have all... this…thrown at them so abruptly. It's probably such a stark contrast to what they've been through the last six months that they have a hard time reconciling it. He imagines it's a lot to take in and he can see them reeling a little when they all get back to their house. The Karasuno avians stare up at it in mute wonder.
Multi-storied and old yet functional, it is large with enough rooms for people to break off on their own, but the only ones ever really used are the kitchen and the large front room for their sleep piles. Kageyama absently wonders if there is enough space for five more.
Yachi pops her head out, her face red and eyes glued to the ground.
"Ano… I'm not sure if we have quite enough for everyone." She says and Kageyama is pretty sure she's contemplating burying herself in the sand. Seriously, she looks like her entire year has been ruined. But Noya is quick on a rescue attempt.
"Eh, no, no, it's fine really! We ate well this morning so we will be fine until evening." He says and Tanaka is right there backing him up.
"Of course! If we need more for tonight we can always go into that little town and grab some!"
Yachi looks mildly uncomfortable with their loudly obnoxious reassurances… actually she looks as if she'd like nothing better than to disappear. Daichi's eye twitches before he steps forward.
"We will be fine without a meal. We showed up unannounced so the fault is ours." He says before turning to the overzealous two. "Since you offered, you can be the ones to go grab something in town for dinner while everyone chills for lunch."
"Eh!? We just got here!"
"And shouldn't we have a guide? We've never been here before."
Kageyama can't help the grimacing smile that pulls at his face. Asahi looks like he wants to say something for a moment before Kiyoko materializes beside Yachi, hoisting a tray of meat buns.
"I can take them." She says with a quiet authority as she slips around them to the open area just off the front step. Yachi looks up at her with awe and the Karasuno unit freeze.
"We can join you." Tsukishima says behind her, also carrying a pan with curry out for the meal. "First impressions aren't lending them any credit and it'd be a shame if one of them accosted you."
Kiyoko tosses a nonplussed glance over her shoulder. He can see Kuroo and Akaashi smirk and knows the beach crew are settling in to watch the sparks fly.
"I hear yours wasn't any better." She says offhandedly and the ibis stiffens at Lev's muffled snort. "Or" she continues, straightening up. "Are you saying I can't handle a couple idiot crows?"
Hinata barks a laugh and Bokuto is grinning like a moron while Kageyama stifles a huff of amusement at how neither Noya nor Tanaka take offense. Tsukishima scoffs at her before dropping his pan beside the meat buns.
"At least take Yamaguchi." The ibis mutters. Her head tilts and she taps a finger to her bottom lip.
"Alright."
"Eh? I heard my name." Yamaguchi comes out with a large bowl of steaming rice.
"You are going to get more food for tonight with Kiyoko and the two loud mouths." The ibis drawls.
"Me?"
"Yes you."
"Uh… now?" He looks like a deer caught off guard, Kageyama muses.
"Yes. Make sure they behave." Tsukishima mutters. Yamaguchi sets the rice down, his expression not at all reflecting the confidence in the ibis' voice.
"Are you s—"
"Alright then. Yachi, you have the food under control?" Kiyoko cuts him off.
"Ah! Yes! I will take care of it!" She chirps, still rooted to the front step.
"Then we are set." She says and looks at Tanaka and Noya who jolt and straighten. "Shall we go?" She asks, her expression nothing but straight detachment. They nod mutely, and she turns and walks a few meters away, the two Karasuno unit members drifting after her as if on leash.
"Yamaguchi." She says evenly without looking back and he jumps and scrambles after them. "We will be back in a bit, Yachi." She says and the four take off.
"Uh...that was Kiyoko?" Asahi asks meekly and Bokuto laughs.
"Quite something, aint she? She's also got a mean right hook." The streaked owls says and Akaashi snorts, unable to keep his humor under wraps.
"I take it he has experience." Suga says with a smile that glints up into his eyes.
"Actually… it was Kuroo that she punched. She only slapped Bokuto." Kenma murmurs and ducks away from the black cat's swing.
"It was an honest question that was taken completely wrong." He grouses and the ibis' brow cocks mockingly before he takes a seat beside the food.
"Tch. Your delivery of said question couldn't have been worse." He says disparagingly and Lev grins from where he's reaching for a meat bun.
"Blondy is right on that one. You asked if birds had a rumble button like cats and whether or not she had one. How else was she supposed to take that?" He says with a chuckle. Kageyama can't hide his grin either, because it had been hilarious.
Hinata disappears inside for a moment before darting back out carrying a couple new shirts. Kageyama hadn't really noticed their wet ones with how excited they'd been on seeing their unit again, but is grateful when the redhead hands one to him. He freezes, though, as Hinata goes to pull his own shirt, and Kageyama has a moment to tense up before it's off.
His eyes quickly find the remaining Karasuno unit members and his heart stumbles. Thankfully, Asahi's attention is focused on one of the owls, but Daichi is staring at the oblivious Hinata, his eyes and mouth wide. His hand darts out to Suga and the thrush is almost instantly wearing the same expression. And then Hinata's pulling his dry shirt on and reaching for a bun.
But the other level pair is still staring and Kageyama throws the only thing in his hands at them to shake their shock— which happens to be the shirt Hinata handed him a second ago. It hits Daichi on the shoulder, jolting him and Kageyama throws him a mild glare when the larger crow meets his gaze. Shouyou turns and holds a bun out to him for a moment and Kageyama jerks slightly.
"Here Kag—" Hinata pauses before retracting it. "You haven't changed out of your shirt yet?"
I just threw it at Daichi.
"It's...a little warm out. I will be fine." He mutters self-consciously.
Hinata eyes him a long moment before shrugging and holding the bun back out to him. He takes it and the redhead goes back to his own. A mental wave of relief hits him and he finds the crow and thrush with a covert glance.
They are staring at him… and Asahi has noticed the visual connection and is blatantly wondering what's going on. And Kuroo is giving him that annoyingly amused look again while Kenma is intently focused on finding the perfect bun to go with his curry and rice. And Yachi is peeking up at them while trying to look like she's definitely not. And Bokuto is smothering a laugh while Akaashi smirks into his own food. The only ones who seem to have no inkling of the visual spar going on are Hinata, Lev, and, mercifully, Tsukishima.
"Hey, Kageyama!" Hinata says brightly turning back to him and he focuses back on the redhead, still on edge.
"Can you toss for me after lunch?"
"Eh…"
"You still play Volley?" Asahi cuts across him with surprise, intrigue creasing his face and the tension dissipates.
"We play Ground Volley!" Hinata says and the large crow tilts his head.
"Ground Volley?" He echoes.
"Yep!" Hinata says and launches into an explanation of the small differences and how much tougher it makes the game. Bokuto, Akaashi, and even Tsukishima easily join in since they also took the 'flightless' challenge and can relate well. Daichi, Suga, and Asahi all appear awed and Kageyama lets a small smile escape as he watches the small spiker's animated gestures. It really was the single greatest thing in restoring the redhead's former charismatic personality.
"It really sucked at first, though… your Shrimp is relentless." Bokuto complains.
"That's because you have no fine motor control." Tsukishima chides.
"You were still having your wings tied when we showed up, too, so don't even start, you beanpole."
"Eh, as far as that goes, even Kageyama still gets called out for it when he gets serious in a match." Lev comments with amusement and Kageyama wants to roll his eyes.
"Yeah, the rope penalty sucks." Akaashi agrees.
"Wait, what is the rope penalty?" Daichi asks, curious in spite of himself.
"If Hinata calls you out for moving with the aid of your wings, they get tied shut and you play the rest of the game like that." Yachi answers quietly and everyone turns to stare at her. Honestly, she's quiet enough that Kageyama could almost have forgotten she was there.
"What?" She asks, shrinking instantly. "I've never played but I pay attention." She squeaks as if she's apologizing.
"Whoa, that's awesome!" Hinata bursts out. "Do you want to learn?"
"Yeah, any of us could teach you!" Bokuto jumps in with enthusiasm.
"Except perhaps not you." Tsukishima murmurs.
"Eh, what's wrong with me?" Bokuto turns an irritated scowl on him. The ibis shrugs and stands.
"Several things, but I'd have to say the biggest would be that we don't need another moron with an over-inflated ego."
Yachi looks like she wants to sink into the ground and Bokuto's feathers are puffing in rife irritation.
"Oi, you—"
"You're right Tsukishima, that would be bad since we already have more than one of those. Why don't we leave the teaching to someone lacking wings? A little less of the blind leading the blind might be the better way to go." Kuroo breaks in smoothly, his remark carrying a heavier note.
The ibis scoffs and walks off, everyone staring after him.
"Is that…is that normal?" Daichi asks uncertainly after a pause and Kageyama barks a dark chuckle.
"He's worse actually. He's actually going light today." He says peevishly.
"So it hasn't been all sunshine and beaches since you left." Suga says with a laugh.
"Oh, it has… I've just wanted to drop-kick him on an hourly basis, is all." He mutters and Hinata stifles a snort.
"He's gotten on everyone's nerves but Kuroo can put him in line pretty quick." The redhead laughs.
Lunch passes with light banter before wingbeats signal the return of the other four and Kageyama is mildly relieved that Noya and Tanaka have both returned bereft of a facial handprint. Tsukishima would never have let them live that down.
"Ah, Noya, Tanaka! Want to learn Ground Volley?" Hinata asks and Kageyama marvels at his persistence. The concept is explained all over again and their first question is whether Kiyoko and Yachi will play. Kageyama wants to facepalm.
"Oi. Focus." Kageyama barks and the two turn to stare at him. "He wants you to learn so he can play with you." There must be something in his voice because the two look at each other and then back to Hinata without a fight. He hadn't intended to bring out such a weighted tone, but what he says is true and it gets results.
"Bring it on!" Noya says with a cocky grin and Kageyama suffocates a chuckle.
You guys have no idea what you signed up for.
"I... don't think we have enough rope for all five of you though." Yachi points out.
"You mean we start with rope? We don't even get a chance to fuck up first?" Tanaka asks.
"There's not really much option." Kiyoko breaks in from where she's retrieving the tray that held meat buns from lunch. "It's almost impossible to break the subconscious movement without a physical aid at first." She states calmly. Their protests are quelled and Hinata turns back to him.
"Want to toss, Kageyama?"
"How about you leave Kageyama to explain the mechanics to us for a bit while Noya and Tanaka take the first stab at it?" Suga asks before he can respond. Hinata looks up at him, his eyes pleading and he wants to groan. Damn that look.
"Not a bad idea, Kenma can set for you, Shrimp." Kuroo says with a sharp eye that sets Kageyama on his toes and Kenma looks up at him offended. Suddenly, setting seems like an excellent idea.
"I don't want to." The golden cat says despondently and Kuroo grins down at him.
"You've been the laziest person here today. Go set."
Kenma looks away, a slight scrunch in his brow.
"Fine."
Hinata's still looking at him with those eyes and he has to look away.
"Eh, Kenma's the better choice anyway, idiot." He hedges. "I lose patience too quick when people fail. I'll come set for you in a bit— when they give up. Sound fair?" He asks. Hinata smacks him on the arm.
"Don't renege, moron."
Kageyama scoffs as the redhead climbs to his feet. Kenma reluctantly stands and so do Bokuto and Lev. They all make their way over to the net followed by Tanaka and Noya. He blandly notes the way Asahi's gaze follows their shortest Karasuno crow with precision, his eyes keeping sharp tabs on the owl and cats. Huh. That finally become a thing? He wonders absently, because they've pretty much always been close. Kageyama barely has a chance to move before a heavy hand drops on his shoulder and he looks up to see Daichi.
Shit. This is going to be an interrogation.
A long sigh escapes him and Kuroo perks up as if he were a dog who'd just heard food rattle into his dish. Kageyama wordlessly stands and moves to a place where he can better watch Hinata help tie up the loudmouth twins and start explaining, mildly peeved when everyone moves with him. And is it just him or is everyone crowding in close? Bunch of freaking gossips.
"You haven't told him yet." Daichi says evenly. Kageyama meets his gaze briefly before looking back to where Tanaka is complaining that the rope Hinata tied his wings with is too tight. Bokuto laughs and remarks that now he can't get away… and does he imagine the way Asahi leans forward with a certain tension in his shoulders as the redhead secures Noya's wings?
"I meant to…eventually." He says, distractedly watching Hinata demonstrate a grounded attack.
"And… I assume everyone else here knows, right?" Daichi asks with a hard look. Kageyama catches Asahi glancing around at the faces beside them with uncertain knows they can all hear this conversation even if the redhead and and the loud twins can't, and he knows their expressions are probably completely unfazed by it— it isn't the first time it's been brought up.
"Pretty much. The Shrimp's the only one still in the dark." Tsukishima says from behind them. Kageyama scowls.
"Didn't you just leave? What are you doing back?" He grouses at the ibis.
"Came to watch the fireworks. This has got to be more interesting than watching your sidekick fail at teaching." He murmurs pointedly as Tanaka grumbles loudly in frustration.
"Pinfeathers, you're unbearable. Go find a rabid cactus to jack off to. It'll be prickly enough to match your personality so you shouldn't have any problem with the connection." Kageyama snaps, his patience with the other bird long spent.
Akaashi fails epically at keeping in his snort and even Kuroo can't banish the cheeky grin off his face when he chastises them with a stern 'Don't you guys ever quit?'.
"How do they all know about you two?" Asahi breaks in with tentative curiosity. Kageyama shrugs sullenly, his eyes following the swing of Hinata's arm as he follows through on striking another ball.
"Everyone needs sleep. Hinata glows. It's pretty freaking obvious."
Asahi blinks and his face pinks.
"You sleep with Hinata?" He asks in a weak voice. Kageyama feels his face coloring and his ears burn when Kuroo laughs.
"Shut up, Cat. You curl up with Kenma every night, too." He mutters peevishly.
"True, we sleep together, but we never get as tangled up in each other as you guys, Feathers." He says and laughs again. Kageyama wants to scowl at the stupid nickname the black cat had bestowed on him roughly two hours after they'd met. Kuroo still called him that even after he was no longer the only one with wings in the group. And no one else was ever 'Feathers' either. It was, in simplest terms, irritating.
"Your nightly exploits aside, Hinata doesn't know yet?" Daichi pointedly brings the conversation back on course and Kageyama wants to curse. Hinata draws his attention briefly back to the net when he barks at Bokuto for using his wings and threatens him with ropes if he doesn't cut it out. The owl looks appropriately cowed but not subdued while Tanaka puffs up.
"No. At least he hasn't made any mention of it." He murmurs.
"But you wanted to wait until you were sure he'd get his wings back, right?" Asahi asks uncertainly. Lev nails a solid hit over the net and the smallest Karasuno crow drops with impressive reflex and brings it up out of the sand.
"Oh, they'll grow back." Kuroo says with a mild smile. Asahi blinks in confusion and Kageyama knows for sure that he missed Hinata without a shirt.
"His feather base isn't any different from when you guys left, though."
Kageyama's gaze slides to the side. That was because it hadn't really changed. The patch that slipped through the opening in his shirt had sprouted several new feathers over the twisted scar, but no hint of new wings, nothing else about it had changed. But…
Hinata will fly again.
"That's what that was, wasn't it?" Suga asks softly and Kageyama closes his eyes. Nothing on the surface was really different, but under the skin… Kageyama remembered the first time he'd noticed them.
He was always in contact with Hinata so he'd discovered the change over two months ago. They'd occasionally taken up the cats' regular habit of an afternoon nap and the redhead had been sacked out against him that day. He'd unconsciously run his hand over Hinata's back, still half catatonic himself, when he'd registered the feeling of ridges. Initially he'd concluded that he'd found Hinata's spine… except the ridges weren't on his spine and they were vertical. He'd come awake with a frown, sure it had been a distortion of the gray area between dreams and deeper sleep.
But the ridges remained under his fingertips, bizarrely out of sync with his mental image of Hinata's back.
Completely baffled, he'd hiked up the sleeping redhead's shirt. The motion had woken Kenma who'd stretched and rolled over to look at them reproachfully, but Kageyama hadn't taken notice. There, on either side of his spine were a pair of thin ridges almost completely invisible under the skin, four of them in all. The dual ridges ran the length of his spine, from his feather base to his hips. He'd blinked several moments before he'd made the connection and had looked up at a wide eyed Kenma. The golden cat had grabbed at Kuroo who'd startled awake and stared for several long moments with drowsy irritation before frowning and shoving his head back under his pillow.
They'd been tiny at first— each ridge perhaps half the width of his pinkie finger— and initially somewhat pliable. They'd been like the bottom couple ribs that were cartilage. Since then, the ridges had widened, their flexibility dwindling. Now, they were perhaps the width of Kageyama's index finger or the rope they used to bind the avians' wings when playing Ground Volley. Even so, if Hinata was wearing a shirt, they were still pretty much unnoticeable.
He doesn't answer Suga's question, opting instead to focus back on the figures by the net. Lev gets a solid contact with a ball and it sails over. Kageyama silently congratulates Tanaka when he clumsily adjusts and gets a hand on it. He closes his eyes. He'd much rather be over there with them right now than here under such fierce scrutiny.
"We could tell what those were from that brief glimpse; you think he won't figure it out?" Daichi asks and Kageyama can hear the disapproving frown in his voice. "Those are wings in their infancy."
Kageyama's eyes slide open. He blatantly watches the Volley lesson in favor of meeting his unit leader's gaze. Bokuto connects with a ball and it sails over. Kageyama has to be impressed in some back corner of his mind when Noya dives with impressive precision and pops it up from the sand after it ricochets off Tanaka's face because the spiker reflexively tried to use his tied wings to move instead of his feet.
"You're right. Those are the new long bones that will one day run their length." He murmurs.
"What are we talking about?" Asahi asks meekly.
"Next time the Shrimp has his shirt off, be sure to get a look at his back. You'll figure it out. Heh, Feathers here went out of character for a couple days after he noticed. Completely caved to everything the Shrimp asked for." Kuroo says, amusement playing around his eyes.
"And this didn't tip Hinata off?" Suga asks with a grin. Tanaka misses again and loudly grumbles in frustration.
"Might have been close...If I remember right, Kuroo broke his nose to bring him back to his senses." Akaashi chuckles.
"Yeah, thanks for that." Kageyama mutters sourly. Yeah. That had been a fun day.
"You were making everyone antsy, even Kenma." The cat huffs.
"Is that why it looks slightly crooked?" Asahi asks mystified.
"I'd consider it an improvement." The ibis says smugly.
"Shove it Tsukishima."
"Well this is great Kageyama. You can tell him you are levelers then." Suga says with a smile. Kageyama can't meet his silver gaze.
"I guess."
Kageyama watches absently as Noya and Tanaka start bickering until Hinata barks at them with that rare commanding note. His thoughts drift back to that first night… that argument. He's come to hate that memory with more passion than he's ever hated anything.
"What do you mean, 'you guess'? When exactly are you planning on telling him?" Daichi asks with a touch of accusation.
He'd meant to tell him… he really had. It had simply been easier to put off figuring out how. He didn't know how Hinata would take it… and how he'd deal with having been kept out of the loop so long. He didn't know how he'd react.
"There's no great way to bring that up. 'So yeah, I never told you, but we're a level pair and oh, by the way Hinata, your wings are going to grow back in.' Yeah that will go swimmingly." He mutters.
"And I'm sure it'll sound even better after his new wings erupt from his back and he's confused and bleeding and in pain." Daichi says, his patience obviously stretching, and Kageyama flinches involuntarily and looks away from the net and to the sand in front of him. His gaze hardens slightly and he looks back up at their unit leader.
"That's not... How do I make sure he understands that I didn't do it out of some sense of obligation? As if I were just doing it as a favor or out of— of all the useless reasons— duty? How do I tell him that I'd have come with him even if we weren't levelers? Tell me, Daichi, how do I make sure that he knows that it didn't matter to me if he never got his wings back? That I intended to stay with him regardless?"
Too late, the words are all out and with such distress that Daichi pulls back, surprise on his face. And Kageyama is painfully aware of the way everyone else around him has gone piercingly quiet. Everyone except Tsukishima apparently.
"I'm impressed that you put all that into words, but I'm frankly appalled you're so inept that you don't know what to do with it. He's oblivious, not stupid. You want him to know, then tell him exactly what you said just now." The ibis breaks in with a snide grumble.
Kuroo glares at him over Kageyama's head.
"Not helping."
Suga comes up in front of him, his face etched with concern; a sharp change from the amusement of a few moments before.
"Kageyama… where is this coming from?"
"It doesn't matter." He murmurs, unwilling to admit how much those words had affected him that night. Hinata had even said to leave if he couldn't deal. No matter how bad it might have gotten, Kageyama had never even considered that. It had never even entered his head as an option. He didn't know what he'd do if he somehow lost Hinata, couldn't imagine a world without him. At the time, they'd been words, but when they'd replayed through his head over and over and he'd woken from nightmares of arguments far worse with fatal results, he was terrified of a repeat.
"It does matter." Suga insists and Kageyama looks up at him, gaze hollow.
"Sugawara?" He asks, his gaze flitting to Daichi and back. "Do you know what happens when a level pair fight?"
Suga's eyes widen and Daichi frowns. It confirms his hunch that they don't. They've always been completely in tune with each other.
"That's—"
"It's painful...beyond compare. It feels like you're dying. It doesn't leave physical scars even if the pain is real, and it's easy to see how it can be lethal. And I have no intention of ever going through something like that again." Kageyama says slowly. Suga looks uncomfortable, like he has no idea how to answer that.
"You don't have to. You're thinking way too hard. Hinata would never assume you are here in any way other than voluntarily." He says hesitantly. Kageyama simply stares at him.
You're wrong, Suga. He already did. The thought is bitter in his mouth.
"Kageyama!"
The black-haired crow flinches as the object of his thoughts screeches his name. He looks back to the net to find the redhead waving at him enthusiastically and his chest pinches slightly.
"Kenma bailed. Come toss for us!" He yells, his excitement completely brightening his face, his eyes snapping with it. Kageyama draws in a deep breath and pushes the painful memory aside.
"Did you chase him off already?" Kageyama grumbles with what he hopes is annoyance as he pushes to his feet. He would never admit it, but he's relieved to get a reprieve from the questions and probing accusations and memories that hit too close to home, and he steps away from them without a backward glance.
A/N: Here's another that had several rewrites and may be the longest chap so far in the story, but i am more satisfied with the results. Apparently, I enjoy torturing Kageyama and Hinata.
A friend pointed out for me that Level Pair will finish up just after the next Haikyuu! season opener if I keep my daily posting schedule, lol. I totally did NOT plan that, but it's awesome all the same, and the regular posts are still the plan. I am definitely looking forward to it and the chance to see these awesome characters animated once more. Stay awesome, guys!