Episode 25: Driving Test
Disclaimer: read the beginning
A vase contained a painted image of a hero throwing a spear changed into a painted plate of temple.
"Their private corner of the Underworld is the Elysium fields. In Elysium fields, heroes enjoy the endless golden hours of eternity-"
"HOLD IT!"
The plate cracked into pieces, faces of the muses were revealed.
"Sounds like you're talking about some boring cruise ship," Calliope pouted her sulking lips, putting a hand on her hips.
"Honey, Elysium fields is the place to go PARTY!" Terpsichore gracefully flipped herself around the vase handle.
"Do you mind?" Bob demanded, "I'm trying to make this a distinguished presentation."
"Honey, go and set your distinguished butt down," Thalia commanded, before throwing a piece of scroll in the air, "We'll show you how it's done!"
The muses began to sing another musical number.
"Because you have a heroic reputation. You deserve an extra long vacation, where you have eternal relaxation. Elysium Fields!"
~000~000~000~
"I can see it... I can smell it... but I can't TOUCH IT!" Hades burst into flames as he was staring at the pleasant fields from afar. He threw a fire stone at it but had an invisiable wall to protect.
"Yeah, too bad Zeus set it up so you can never go in."
Hades's flames turned yellow, glaring darkly at Pain.
"Uh - d-did I say too bad? I-I mean it's a shame."
Hades grinded his fangs, narrowing his eyes at the magenta imp.
"W-Well, the place isn't e-entirely villain proof. I mean Nattie does lock pick her way in," Panic stated.
Hades's flames turned orange and let out a cry in frustration, giving the imps another taste of his flames, "I told you to NEVER say that name again!"
"Who's name?" Pain asked, scratching his head, earning a slap behind the head from his teal companion.
"Nattie, silly! Who else?! She did beat Hades in a game of Poker, last night." Panic immediately covered his mouth, realizing what he just said. The imps held onto each other, shielding their eyes shut, mentally preparing for the worst.
"Y-You know y-you could trick Zeus for ownership over the fields," Pain suggested weakly.
"Y-Yeah," Panic agreed with a shaky breath. "Just like you tricked B-Boreas into att-tt-tacking S-Sparta. P-Poseidon with the River St-st-Styx."
"And Nattie tricking you into-" Panic quickly closed Pain's mouth to keep from going in unnecessary detail.
Much to the imps relief, Hades's color cooled down, "Huh... Not a bad idea. Mind the place, boys, I'm going out."
The imps panted with relief, but the anxiety didn't go away. Even when Hades snapped his fingers and disappeared in smoke.
~000~000~000~
An arm raised in the air, holding a milkshake.
"Huh-zah! A toast!" Icarus cried out. His glasses clicked with his friends. All of them were celebrating another day with good grades and surviving Orthos.
"We are one step closer to graduating Prometheus Academy!"
His friends murmured in agreement while sipping their shakes and eating their wraps.
"I'm so glad I got that alpha," Hercules sighed with relief, putting down his shake. "And conquered my fear."
"Shame that you can't show the grade to your parents," Nattie declared.
Hercules's lips curled, snarling at the thought of the annoying bird "I was so close to catching that harpie."
Cassandra rolled her eyes, "Uh-huh." She remembered the red head and flying horse running into a billboard of Atlantis (the place no longer opened due to flood).
"Just be thankful that you showed up in class," Cassandra grumbled, "Otherwise you would've got another incomplete."
"Yeah!" Icarus agreed. "If Nattie haven't bought you time with that sick poem and a musical number, you would've failed!"
Hercules raised his brows, turning to Nattie in shock, "N-Nattie, you distracted Miss Cassiopeia for me?"
Nattie shrugged, offering a small smile, "It was nothing. I wanted to get my poem over with."
"Your poem? Don't you mean a poet's poem from the future?" Cassandra retorted with a smirk.
Nattie casted her friend a raised brow, "Do you have proof?"
Cassandra chuckled, shaking her head.
"Well, I can't thank you enough, Nattie," Hercules placed a hand over Nattie's. "I will owe you one. I promise."
Nattie nearly jumped at Hercules's touch over hers. She chuckled sheepishly, slipping her hand from under his. She couldn't get over the fact that she nearly had Hercules killed. Then again, he lived and got an alpha plus. All was well.
"No, it's not," the voice of Jiminy Cricket whispered.
Nattie suppressed a growl, wishing that Jiminy was here in the flesh, so she could flick him off.
"Don't worry about it, Herc," Nattie replied. "This one is on me." She jumped when a hand slammed before hers with a paper below it. The bill for the food service.
Her eyes widened, looking up to see the waitress from the night before. The woman didn't look too impressed.
"It better be on you," the waitress spat. "Here is a tip, I expect full payment for this meal. Get it. Tip. Tip."
When nobody responded to her, she huffed, mumbling something gibberish before walking away.
"Was she trying to tell us something?" Nattie asked sarcastically. "Could've sworn she wanted us to tip her." She glanced at the bill and scoffed, "Unbelievable. Two drachmas extra for whip cream?"
She, Cassandra, and Hercules glanced at the party responsible. Icarus was sipping his shake, but paused when he felt eyes on him.
"What?"
Hercules slid the bill towards him, pulling out his wallet, "Don't worry, Nattie. I got it. I owe you one, remember?"
"And she's broke!" Icarus added, earning a piece of lettuce thrown against his face by Nattie.
The statement was not exactly true. Nattie still have the 450 drachma necklace in her bag, but refused to sell it. She was honest about one thing. The necklace did hold sentimental value.
"Watch it," Nattie warned. "Remember it was me who gave you my medal."
Icarus looked down at his chiton to see her statement was accurate. He smiled sheepishly at her, while holding the medal protectively against his chest, "You rock!"
Nattie smiled, raising her glass, "That's better."
Trumpets perked everyone's attention as perky Helen had arrived with her painted pink chariot decorated with hearts.
"Oh, great," Cassandra grumbled, "It's Helen. Most likely to launch an international conflict."
"Hi, kids!" Helen greeted everyone sweetly. All the boys including freshmen, sophomore, juniors, and seniors gathered around the beauty queen, falling under her love spell.
"H-H-Hi Helen!" Hercules greeted.
Cassandra scoffed, "Like she heard you."
"Hey, Helen!" Nattie screeched, waving her milkshake in the air. That got the princess's attention. She waved back with a gleaming smile.
"Hi, Nattie! I love your speech!"
"Thanks," Nattie shrugged. "You gave me chills with the 'Little Mermaid' monologue."
Helen tilted her head in confusion, "T-The what?"
Nattie mentally cursed herself. Helen didn't know the Little Mermaid, even though her voice sounded exactly like Ariel.
"I said, you gave me chills with the 'Part of Your World' Monologue!" Nattie rephrased that returned a smile on the perky blonde's face.
"M-Me too!" Hercules perked, but reached deaf ears from Helen. He sank back down on his seat, burying his face with his hands.
Nattie noticed Hercules's state and the color of his cheeks, "Hercules, are you blushing?"
"Huh, what?" Hercules shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "No, of course not!"
"You like Helen," Cassandra accused.
"No! She is a friend!" Hercules declined. "Just like she is friends with you and Nattie."
Nattie snorted, "Herc, I know your look. It's the same look that you have to Medusa, and Electra, and that squeaky new girl from first period."
"You mean Andromeda."
Nattie shrugged, "Whatever."
"And let's not forget Tempest," Icarus perked. "His entire face was tomato red, every time she threatened him with her sword."
"Okay! Okay! Enough!" Hercules cried, "Did it ever occur to you guys that I'm blushing because I am embarrass."
"Embarrass about what?" Nattie demanded.
"Just... I don't know - just embarrass, okay?!" Hercules slammed his fist on the table that cracked the table in half and shoot his tray in the air and splattered down on Hercules's head. The seniors around them took noticed and started laughing.
The waitress standing nearby, scoffed, shaking her head in dismay, "I don't get paid enough to clean that up!"
"Now I can see why you would be embarrassed," Icarus laughed, earning a smack in the back of the head from Cassandra.
"Shut up, Icarus," Nattie snapped, silencing the goof.
To make matters worse, Adonis witnessed the action and couldn't help but gloat. "Well. Well. Well. If it isn't Jerkules, still a klutz I see."
Hercules scoffed, wiping the lettuce off his head, "Look, Adonis, if you are going to be immature and point at the obvious, then you should walk away."
Adonis chuckled, "Oh, Hercules. Hercules. Hercules, you know how humiliation on others get to me. This is my last year to make sure that you are a nobody and stay a nob-"
"Oh Hercules!"
The students looked over to see Helen running towards their cracked table with a handkerchief in her hand.
"I saw what happened," Helen kneeled by Hercules's side to whip dressing off his armor. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
Adonis's eyes widened in horror as Hercules stammered his response with a cheeky smile across his face. The group took notice that the prince's face was steaming red, but not because of blushing or embarrassment.
Nattie chuckled, plastering a smirk, "So who is a nobody now, Adonis?"
Adonis sent daggers at the girl, who mirror his look. She silently warned him to think before he acts. One hand on him, and he shall have no teeth.
"You know what Miss Thespis taught us?" Icarus closed his eyes and placed his fingers against his temples, "If we go red, count to a hundred, and your skies shall be blue-"
"Shut up!" Adonis hissed, turning his attention back to his woman, pull her back on her feet. "Helen, my dear, forsake these commoners and come ride with the royal me." Adonis smiled proudly, gesturing his golden chariot.
"Oh," Helen cooed at him sweetly, "I would love to, Adonis." Her face fell, "But I gave my attendant the night off. How would I get my chariot home?"
All the boys raised their hands, volunteering to help Helen.
"You see?" Adonis said, "Throw some nobody a bone."
"Oh, Daddy will have kittens if I have trusted a stranger without a spotless driving record." All the boys disappeared, neither of them had a good driving record. The only male left standing was a certain red head with his hand in the air, assisted by his best buddy - Icarus. Hercules didn't notice at first for the girls at his table were cleaning him off.
"Oh, Hercules!" Helen smiled widely.
"Huh? What?" Hercules looked around, not entirely sure what just happened, until he saw his raised hand in the air. He smiled sheepishly and the blush returned to his cheeks.
The blonde princess pulled the hero from his seat towards her chariot, "You are a dear!"
"And today's forecast is perky," Cassandra whispered.
Nattie heard, giving Cassandra a chuckle and fist pump, "True that."
"Be careful," Helen cooed. "Drive safely."
"I-I can't," Hercules pried his arm from Helen's soft grip. "The truth is... I don't have a driving license."
Everyone in the Agora gasped, except for Nattie and Cassandra.
"Why is everyone so surprised?" Nattie asked. "We already knew that."
"High school thing," Cassandra grumbled.
"Now that is a stunning admission," Adonis said with a grin. "What a loser such as yourself."
"Aww, I'm sure you have other nice qualities," Helen said sweetly.
"Like being a hero!" Icarus began the list.
"Brave, sweet, a great poetic speaker," Nattie continued the list.
"And knows how to eat his greens," Cassandra tossed a piece of lettuce from her dress.
"They got a point, Adonis," Helen said, rubbing her boyfriend's shoulder.
Adonis snorted, "Yes, nice qualities, except they left out the fact that Hercules is the only one that never passed a driving license."
"Oh come on!" Hercules cried, "I can't be the only one without a license... can I?" He looked around to see every single student with a card in their hands. The key to driving a chariot. His friends especially, only Nattie was holding a different type of card.
"Uh, Nattie, I hate to break it to you, but you are holding your student ID card," Icarus pointed out.
Nattie shushed him, "Shut up. My license was revoked, remember? Unlike Hercules, I actually passed my driver's test before he did."
"How you passed remains a mystery," Cassandra grumbled.
"But I got a flying horse!" Hercules flapped his arms, indicating Pegasus.
"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Adonis asked rhetorically, yawning against his hand, "Because I'm not."
"I'm planning to get my license, t-tomorrow."
Icarus jumped to Hercules's side, whispering his obvious question, "Since when?"
"Since now," Hercules hissed.
Icarus's eyes brightened in understanding, racing back to his table.
"Oh really?" Adonis challenged Hercules, "I believe the Temple of Moving Vehicles closes at sunset." He stepped out of the vehicle, placing an arm around Helen's waist, "You'll have a license by that time?"
"Definitely!" Hercules confirmed.
"Then bring it here," Adonis said, driving Helen away in his chariot.
Icarus cheered, "My friend, Herc, right here!" He posed like a supermodel, "Mr. Confidence."
"You don't know how to drive, do you?" Cassandra accused Hercules in boredom.
"Not even a clue," Hercules grumbled. "But I can't be bad as Nattie's driving, right?"
"Uh, I'm right here!" Nattie waved her hand in the air.
"Well, am I wrong?" Hercules asked.
Nattie rolled her eyes, not responding to his obvious question. She recalled the special moments when she changed lines without notification, running through a red vase to keep herself from being late, and nearly ran over Adonis (though it was an accident - a happy accident).
"Look, I know Adonis could be a pain in the butt, but he is going to kick you to the curb if you don't get that license by tomorrow. How are you even going to pass the written test? It took me weeks to know the answers."
"Simple. I will study and practice. I will practice and study all night if I have too."
"Good luck staying up," Cassandra pointed at the night sky where Morpheus was sprinkling dust with his blanket. "Morpheus is ready to put us to sleep."
Icarus yawned, "Right on sched..." Icarus couldn't finish for he dozed off on the table.
"Someone should drive him home," Nattie commented the obvious. She glared at Cassandra who immediately shook her head.
"No," Cassandra declined. "Not me!"
"You're the only one in this group, wide awake, who has a license," Nattie argued softly.
Cassandra rolled her eyes, folding her arms in defiance. She was relieved to see Hercules carrying the goofy kid over his shoulder.
"No worries, ladies. I got him. You guys go home and get some sleep."
"What about studying your written test?" Nattie asked, suppressing a yawn from escaping.
"I will do that when I get back to Phil's island. He will stay up to help me!" For that Hercules set sleeping Icarus down on Pegasus, and the horse flew high in the sky and disappeared like a shooting star.
"He is going to fall asleep," Nattie stated the obvious.
"Yep," Cassandra agreed. "No one can resist Morpheus's sleeping dust."
Nattie blinked, staring at the 'Barbie' chariot nearby, "Helen does realize that she left her chariot alone without an attendant. They are morons out there who could steal it, you know."
A bunch of thieves were in line, fighting over the chariot's reigns that sped the chariot across town and crashed into another chariot.
"So much for that," Nattie shrugged, sipping the rest of her milkshake.
~000~000~000~
"Hey, Zeus!" Hades appeared on Olympus that night to persuade his brother about his proposition. "How are you, huh? It's been too long. You don't call. You don't visit." He approached his brother who was too busy sharpening his bolt. He tapped on the tip of the bolt, gaining his brother's attention.
"Hades!" Zeus greeted his brother happily, "G'day, mate, how are things down under? HA!" He laughed at his own joke, "Down under! Get it?! Ha!"
Hades chuckled with him, crossing his arms over his chest, holding back the flames, "Lightning wit as usual. Great."
"Sit down," Zeus commanded, gesturing a small stool before him, "Give your flame a rest." He pointed his rod at Hades with snacks balancing on top, offering them to Hades, "Nector? Ambrosia?"
"Let me cut to the chase," Hades pushed the rod away from him, blowing a puff of cloud, creating an image of Elysium Fields, "You know Elysium Fields? Well..." The heavenly temple changed into a fiery hell, "I'm creating a new development there, okay? Let's just say a time share." He snorted, "Well, I won't share actually, but you get the concept." He waved his vision away, approaching his brother, "Okay, I know you're a busy god (not really), so I was just wonder if you could give away your transfer title to me," Hades made the property deed appear and a skeleton pen, "Just on the doted line. An autograph." He placed his arm around Zeus's shoulder, shoving the contract right at his face, "And then I'll be out of your hair. What do you say? Deal?!"
"But it's supposed to be the blissful refuge for heroes," Zeus retorted.
"Yeah. Yeah," Hades waved it off. "The happiest place on earth like Disneyland. Whatever. But-"
He was cut off by a sun chariot flying across the sky - Apollo's chariot. Creating day time in Greece.
"There goes Apollo," Zeus said, "Right on schedule."
The sun has lit up the sky, now daytime.
"You can set your watch with that guy," Zeus said, gesturing his sundial.
"Yeah, people do, actually," Hades said.
"Oh."
"Now about my deal, sign it, and-"
"And it's time for the morning Hercules report, Your Mightiness!"
Hades was interrupted again, only this time, the Messenger God flew into the scene.
"Pick a number, twinkle toes!" Hades snapped in orange flames, grabbing the winged god's foot. "I'm negotiating here!"
"Chill out, Hades," Zeus commanded, blowing his flames out, laughing, "Ha! Look at that! I should make a wish!"
Hades flamed his hair back, still orange, growling under his breath, "How about a death wish?"
Hermes was giving the full details of what's going on with Hercules to Zeus. Hades was sitting nearby impatiently with the deed in his hand.
"So now, Herc has got until sunset to pass his driving test," Hermes finished the story. "Huh, isn't that just too wacky?"
Hades rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face, "You know I'm kinda on the limb here. I'm willing to bet that my dear nephew blows it... badly."
"For your information, Hades!" Zeus began, pointing an angry finger at Hades, "What Hercules sets out to do, he does!"
"Oh, flawlessly, I'm sure, but you know..." Hades glared down at the scroll in his hand, a plan unraveled in his brain. "You know I'm thinking, maybe you care to make... a wager."
"You mean bet on my son?!" Zeus asked in disbelief, "To complete a nearly impossible task?!" He slammed his fist on the arm of his throne, "In a heartbeat!"
"Hey! Hey! Fab-u-lous!" Hermes stated, pushing his red specs up his nose, "I'll take some of that action."
"You know... we need some stakes here. You know, just to make it interesting," Hades paused, pretending to think, until he smirked, glancing down at his deed scroll, "Ah! I know! Here's an idea!" Hades stood up from his chair, gliding towards his brother, "If junior doesn't get that license by sunset, uh... you give me Elysian Fields! What do you say?"
"That's outrageous!" Zeus cried.
"Ooh," Hermes made a thumbs down sign, "Count. Me. OUT!"
Hades raised his hands up in surrender, "Fine. Fine. If you don't have that kind of faith in that little tyke, I understand." He turned to leave, "After all, he's only human... mostly-"
"You're on!" Zeus stated from behind. Hades didn't hesitate to turn back around to shake his older brother's hand, causing electric sparks once they sealed the deal.
Hades pulled away, shaking his shocked hand, "Oh, and Zeus... you know anybody could do this with your help."
"Why Hades..." Zeus turned to Hermes with a knowing wink, "I wouldn't dream of interfering."
Hermes returned the knowing gesture by a thumbs up.
Hades caught on their secret scheme with a nod, "Uh-huh, okay, good. Oh, and Hermes... the rules apply for you too, okay?"
Hermes and Zeus widened their eyes in disbelief.
"Okay, gents, catch you later! If you need me," Hades chuckled, "I'll be packing..."
He snapped his fingers and disappeared back in the Underworld.
A/N: Will Hercules get his license before sunset? What about Nattie? Can she get her license considering her driving record?
Thank you: Xitan22, nina del Carmen, KuroKumiKappa, and Guest for taking the time to review. Thank you, readers, for taking the time to read, add this story to favorites and alerts. You guys rock!