All right, I just want to make one thing clear: Everything related to cognitive psychology listed in this ficlet is, as near as I can tell and find out, TRUE. I should know; I did a 97-slide presentation on it for my high school Psych class, and that is what this story is based on. All the information I used, I collected from that presentation since it was already in one spot.

Is it convoluted and confusing? Hell yes. You ought to see some of the diagrams in this slideshow of ours. If I can find them again, I'll post the links at the bottom AN.

Do I understand it all? No. When I head off to college, I'd like to see about either majoring or minoring in psychology (likely minoring) so that I'll possibly understand it better. If/when that happens, I might make a bit of a sequel to this. We'll have to see.

Is it guaranteed to be 100% accurate? No. It is, however, as accurate as my current level of education (and liberal use of the internet and cross-referencing) can make it. As I said before, I want to either major or minor in psychology so I can understand it a little more. Let's just say my Psych teacher is awesome, and quite a few people go in for Psych in college.

Do I think this is how we really use our brains and get personality? Hard to say. I would deduce we get some of it from here, but not all of it. Nature (biological psychology is key on this one) has its values, and that's not to forget about nurture. However, some of the things in behavioral is just plain weird (that's the one that Freud is famous for), and I can't say I think it plays as big a factor in personality. For that matter, some of the stuff here is weird, so there's no room to talk.

Is this AN too long? Probably. Very likely. Yes. No. Maybe so. Who knows. You'll have to make your own decision. But I think it's very likely this is too long and that you've stopped reading by now. Unless you haven't. In which case I would tell you to enjoy. But if you aren't, it's a totally moot point and I should just begin the story. But I'm enjoying this too much, so I won't. Except that the story's already below. Which means that it has to start sometime soon. But not yet. Not by a long shot. But it will start now.

MAYBE.

It Seems Your Cognition Is a Little Off

"What on earth is that?" Bart asked as he slowed in his race for the kitchen. He leaned over Dick's shoulder, pointing to the slideshow on his computer. "That's totally not crash, dude."

"It's a presentation for my psychology class," the den mother replied, snapping the screen shut on his computer. "Why are you so nosy?"

"Not nosy, curious," the redhead corrected, pulling the screen back up and deftly unlocking it. Dick didn't want to know how the teen knew his passcode.

"Nosy," Dick said firmly, wrenching the device away and closing the computer again. "Stop messing with my stuff. Personal things get told when they get told. And I'm not telling you about this."

Bart gave a theatric sigh. "Fine," he grumbled.

Two days later, Dick was dealing with another redhead-related headache. This time, it was squared.

He'd woken up in his apartment and wandered over to get coffee before noticing the duo on his couch watching a slideshow. One that looked intimately familiar…

"Hey! How'd you get there?" he asked, waking up faster than if they'd dumped a bucket of cold water on him. Which they had, but that's a story for another time.

"Bart," Wally replied, clicking the mouse and watching the screen change. "Do you even understand half of this?"

"I understand enough," Dick replied vaguely, taking a strong gulp of coffee. "Why?"

"It's convoluted, for one," Roy muttered. "I mean, it makes no sense whatsoever. Zombies? Really?"

"Philosophical zombies," the black-haired teen corrected, snatching his laptop back. "There's a difference."

"What difference?!"

"A philosophical zombie, or p-zombie, is a hypothetical being that is indistinguishable from normal humans in no other way than it does not experience qualia. A form of p-zombie, called a thought zombie or t-zombie, are the ones used in thought experiments."

"And, ah, what exactly is qualia again?"

Dick leaned his head back in frustration. "You start watching this slideshow, and you have no idea what half of it is about?"

"I read the slides, but there is no way that that made sense."

"Qualia is the idea of what it's like to be something else, or things that we can experience that can't be sufficiently explained to someone who has never experienced it."

"Like what?" Wally asked, digging into a bag of popcorn.

"The color red."

"That's not an example, you can tell someone all about red-"

"But can you tell someone what it looks like?"

Wally opened his mouth, gaped for a moment, then closed it in defeat.

"Exactly," Dick said smugly.

BART IS SUCH A HARD CHARACTER TO DO! *cries* That's why he only has a couple lines, as much as I like him.

Lame and short chapter is lame and short, and makes no sense, but I liked doing the PowerPoint and I love making people's heads spin. *trolls*

There's a rather lonely box below this note which would like words to be put in it and then maybe even a pressing of the submit button! Reviews make the world (an author's world, anyway) go round, and it would be the best birthday present you guys could give me, even if it's just one word or a long rant on how terrible this was.