Christmas news!
XX
"You come home, without telling anyone of your plans. You act as if we don't count." Cora's voice raised an octave, surprised as she had kept her opposition to this marriage to herself for the past two days. Yet it had to reveal itself eventually.
"I don't think that's fair." Sybil's tone took on a peevish air.
"You're too young to understand all the ramifications of your actions." Cora said, moving towards the dining room table. It was Christmas morning. And not how she envisioned her first family holiday without Robert. Lonely without him, she felt all out of sorts. And taking it out on Sybil really wasn't going to help matters.
Sybil merely scoffed at the notion. "There's nothing to be done now. You're just going to have to accept it."
"And if we don't?" Cora didn't actually mean those words. She fell back again into the old battle of wills with thoughtless teenage girls. She had thought such useless defiance a thing of the past.
"We can always go live in Dublin. Maybe then you'll be sorry." God, Sybil thought, even she began to realize she sounded like some pouty, spoiled brat.
Violet, banged her cane on the floor. She decided this nonsense had gone on long enough. "We should be sorry. Very sorry indeed. We've lost too much family this year as it is."
Leave it to Violet to get down to matters of what was important.
Sybil's fire spitting eyes lost their entire self-important luster. They became downcast and suddenly submissive, damp at the corners with tears.
How ridiculously selfish, she berated herself. How thoughtless of her to say that with her father's death and her mother's grief still so raw in their hearts and in their thoughts.
Cora moved suddenly and swiftly to take her youngest into her protective arms. "It's fine, my sweetest girl. I love you. I am just concerned, as your father would be, at such a rash decision."
"Mother," Sybil said in a tone she hoped would be sincere. "I'm sorry if I disappointed you. But it's what we wanted."
They had left this argument to stew for days. The neighbour's party and the activities of Christmas Eve, including the arrival of the ready to plant Christmas tree, had allowed everyone respite. Isobel had taken ill and would not arrive until the next day so Matthew had time to help decorate and place the tree according to Cora and Violet's exacting standards.
But Christmas day was ever the time for stumbling on to the hard truths of family life. And Sybil's news took the brunt of it that morning.
But Christmas was also the time to start rebuilding family unity.
"I'm not disappointed," Cora said, seeking answers. "I'm… I am confused. I thought you would finish up your fashion design studies and get a job in London. You never thought any different up to now."
"I can finish and find any job I want. Being married doesn't have to force one to settle you down or take away your dreams. It makes it all worthwhile." She flicked back a loose strand of hair. She held out her hand and willed Colm to come stand beside her. He did so, with a certain amount of reluctance. But to do otherwise would not show the support Sybil both demanded and deserved.
Cora and Violet exchanged a look. They both realized still how young Sybil really was. They were both so young, standing there and defying their elders like some young lovers of a previous century.
"Of course you can, darling." Mary's voice cut the silence in the air. "But…" Before she could finish Cora cut in
"We just thought that you'd live life for a bit. On your own."
"That's not what you told Mary when she was my age…" Sybil said, grasping once again at a defiant argument.
"Yes." Mary said cutting back more coldly that perhaps she anticipated. "And look where it got me. Over six years of realizing that following other people's advice was not living. It was instead setting oneself up for failure."
Matthew's head jerked up and the muscles around his lips flinched at that thought. Mary's perspective of their past still had the ability to cut him.
Standing at the buffet, he tried to remain uninvolved in the family dispute. Technically head of the family, he told himself that it was so solely in financial and estate matters. Not internal family politics. That was best left to his past and soon to be once again future in-laws. He wanted to support Sybil's decisions. It was her life. Colm was a good man. But his own marital history worked against any argument he could give.
So he remained silent. Both Mary and he had wanted the breakfast to be a celebration of their re-engagement. But neither had been given the chance as the battle of wills erupted between mother and daughter soon as they walked in the dining room.
When Mary spoke up, again bringing up the spectre of their past failed marriage as an argument against Sybil's elopement, Matthew's fork clattered, loud and jangly, on the buffet table. He gripped his knuckles tight and it had fallen from his fingers. Did Mary really still feel that way? Was the simple truth that they had been too young? Too inexperienced with life's challenges? That no matter how much he had tortured himself over the years that he had failed Mary—failed by not reaching out to her, not making her stay and work it out–that they had made the right decision to divorce.
Everyone turned towards him at the sound. His face turned ashen. Mary met his eyes as he turned to seek hers. She immediately soothed his nerves. In her eyes he found love and reassurance. A calm, steady, and open eye contact. A composure that he had never really seen in her before. The doubts were all gone. We're good, her eyes said. This was their time. She knew it now. She was speaking only of their confused past.
All the past pain, the bitterness, the hostility—could all that have made this possible? Matthew shook his head in astonishment. Life has a way of dealing out its surprising successes amid a myriad of seeming failures.
He smiled at the notion. Some things could not be taught or told. Sybil and Colm were going to have figure all that out for themselves. But he gave it a go.
Any marriage is a tricky thing, Sybil." He said turning his eyes away from Mary and towards they younger woman standing with her arms crossed and her fingers entwined with her new husband's. "I think everyone is just a bit worried that you're too young to understand all the responsibilities that come with a lifelong commitment." He walked over towards Mary. "I know I wasn't." He stood behind her chair, putting his hands down on each of her shoulders and rubbing them.
"You're back together, now though." Sybil said. "So you always knew you were in love."
"Sometimes that's not enough. I hope it will be for you." Mary said, softly, her fingers drifting up to take Matthew's hand.
She continued with more assertion in her voice, "Your life is not the same as our experience. We're wrong to question your judgment." She turned to watch her mother and grandmother's reaction. But it was not going to stop her. "And we'll be here for you. We'll be here for you both, now and always."
"Besides," Matthew said, with a touch of needed levity, "If we didn't support you, we'd be shown up as complete frauds and liars."
He had all the attention now. He gripped Mary's fingers that had encased his hand. She looked up briefly and he accepted her silent acknowledgement that this was the time for their announcement.
Their eyes reached out to all the gathered family members.
Just then the front door peeled and pierced the air like an unwanted alarm.
Everyone jumped but did nothing. Matthew, leaving off his pronouncement before it even escaped his lips, was the closest to the dining room entrance. He left the room and walked towards the front door. No one had turned off the alarm so he did that even as the bell peeled again, this time taking on a kind of exasperated annoyance.
He opened the door at last. Edith, standing on the other side with suitcase alongside her, said in a frustrated tone, "Couldn't someone have looked at their texts. I've been messaging since the train station and no one has answered." Her voice was edgy, nervous. "I finally managed to catch a ride." She shifted her weight uncomfortably.
Other than squeaking an apology that she wasn't expected until later, he had no voice at all. He simply stared. Swallowed hard and stared again. Mouth slightly agape.
Edith was with child. Heavy with child. Like seven or maybe eight months along. Good God in heaven, he thought. How the hell did that happen?
Not voicing that thought, he finally found that even though his lips still made no sound, he could gesture her inside. Maybe that activity would release his bewilderment.
It did.
"I'll … "he swallowed again, his face unable to change from its astonished expression, "I'll get your bags for you."
"Don't look like that Matthew." Edith said. "If you're looking like that, I won't be able to take Mother's and Granny's."
He put his hands through his hair to give himself an activity. "Why didn't you tell us?" He asked, in a quiet demand so that no one else would hear in the dining room.
"I couldn't." Edith said, voice trembling. "With Dad's illness and Mary's return and the funeral and all that has happened…." She trailed off.
"You were pregnant in May?" Matthew could not believe it. All through the dark days of Robert's stroke and death and the long, grief stricken weeks after, Edith had kept this secret.
"Once I started, I found I never had the nerve. I said, it wasn't the right time. I'll come home later. And then later became months." She rubbed her belly. "So it's now or never." She gave a light laugh. "It's a girl. I think Mother will like that."
"Do you want me to prepare them?" He asked, even though he willed her to say no. He wanted to be supportive. It was turning out to be that kind of day.
Edith gave him a look meant for him to remain where he was. She strode alone into the dining room. The collective gasps happened, as Matthew knew it would. The chatter began soon after as all the women started in at the same time wanting to know everything.
Their own moment upstaged once again by another Crawley sister. He could only scratch his head and pick up the bags to take them to the guest room set aside for Edith's use.
Colm came out. Matthew tossed one of the lighter bags in his direction. "Here. You're out of the noose for now. Be glad for the change of subject." Colm chuckled and said, "I still haven't even had my breakfast."
"We'll go downstairs and raid Mrs. Patmore's already made luncheon if we have to." Matthew threw his head in the direction of the dining room. "But I'm not going back in there any time soon."
XX
Sybil, glad that the glare of parental interrogation had moved on to Edith, sat down in a chair next to Mary. It was only then that she noticed Mary picking at her food. Not eating anything. And looking a little pale around the eyes.
"Is everything alright?" Sybil asked, concerned that her elder sister was ill.
"It must be the jet lag or something. Catching up with me." Mary said trying to sound dismissive, light. "I… I don't seem to be able to keep much down these past couple of days."
She turned a knowing eye to Sybil.
Sybil caught on. "Are you sure?" She asked with the classic bated breath. "Along with Edith…." It went unspoken between the sisters. Mary simply nodded in agreement. "I know… I know…. I'm not really sure, actually. I've…not taken any test or seen the doctor." She threw her fork down. "It seems impossible…."
Sybil gave her a puckered lip look. "I doubt that Mary." She smirked. "The way you and Matthew sneak off at any opportunity…"
Mary laughed. "I didn't mean that!" She flicked her eyes towards Edith who was in deep quiet conversation with Violet and Cora, "I mean that we'd be pregnant at the same time."
"Well let's make sure before you say anything." Sybil said. "You've not told Matthew, right?"
"No. I wanted to be sure first." Mary rubbed her brow furiously, realizing that she now had two announcements to make that day.
"They're going to be forever with Edith. Let's go do it now. They guys have made their escape. It's the best time." Sybil grabbed Mary's hand and led her out the door.
The two sisters walked up the stairs to Sybil's bedroom. Rummaged through her bag she said in triumph, "I knew it." She held up a pregnancy test, the kind you get at Boots.
Mary quirked an eyebrow. "And why do you have one of those?" Her voice slightly mocking, masking her own nervousness.
"Well." Sybil said practically. "I had a bit of a scare. But I'm okay." She grinned. "Let's find out about you!" And pushed her towards the en suite toilet. Mary took a deep breath and grabbed the pregnancy test stick from Sybil's hand.
A few minutes later she came out. Smiling. Shaking, but smiling. "It's positive." Had no idea how her words came out so calm as she was all at sea inside. Waves of nausea alongside light headed dizziness. How had her life taken such astonishing turns in the past months. Was she ready for this? Did Matthew want a child? What would he say?
Sybil hugged her, relieving Mary of much of the build up stress. Her sister's embrace was firm, strong, loving. Sybil said with quiet affirmation, "Go find Matthew."
And Mary found him in his office, at work trying to keep out of everyone's way until lunch and the opening of presents. The day had taken on quite the surreal quality. Colm had joined Sybil upstairs.
And she told him the news. In a voice that still didn't quite grasp the notion herself, she said, "I'm pregnant."
Matthew was beyond the moon with happiness. "Oh God Mary." His voice raspy and half silent in astonishment. Could this morning get any crazier? "A baby." He could barely contain the excitement in his voice. "Our baby." His lips quivered as he kissed first her cheek, gentle and sweet. Then he kissed her lips, brushing them with his own, saying the words in a quiet, almost desperate whisper, "'I never thought it was possible to love as much as I love you."
And yet he worried about Mary's reaction. It was a lot for them to take on so soon after getting back together.
"This is quite a lot." He said, brushing her cheek with his lips. Through her hair. His soft touch against her skin. His voice, low and deep against her ears.
"Yes." Mary turned up her face to meet his eyes. "But no more than we can handle. I love you, Matthew. We start this new life with a new life." Her words making his eyes wet and glistening with tears. Tears of happiness that they did not let this slip from their fingers. That this second chance was all they wanted. "Oh Mary, Mary." He said her name over and over, shaking against her frame. "I can't believe we deserve this much joy." His embrace was all encompassing, reassuring, and all Mary needed at that moment.
XX
The rest of the day, however, continued in its surreal quality.
Mrs. Patmore's lunch turned out to be cold sandwiches and salad. She left a note saying in no uncertain terms that the Aga had most completely given up the ghost, and if they wanted any sort of warm meal, they'd have to use the fireplace in the library as she intended to spend the day at her sister's thus leaving them up to their own devices.
Matthew smiled as he read the note. Another task for the new year.
Then the weather took a turn during the afternoon, the wind picked up and the snow came down harder than ever. Glad to have made it home on the earlier train, Edith explained that although the father of her child was no longer in her life, she had every intention of raising her daughter while returning to her job in Scotland.
The already sad state of the old electric box gave out, darkening the room just as the family sat down to exchange gifts. Matthew had to laugh as he rummaged around the desk for a flashlight. The open curtains gave little light, so they resorted to candles and a built up fire.
Matthew loved the leather banded watch Mary had chosen while she allowed him to place the long, elegant pearl and diamond necklace around her neck that he had picked out in an antique store while along the Pacific Coast Highway. "Just perfect for the New Year's Eve party in chambers." He whispered in her ear, giving it a small nibble as well. "You'll knock them all out."
Mary turned and kissed him.
They played 'the game' as Violet insisted upon calling charades.
Mary got up first. She already knew the title in mind. Hoping Edith would not take it the wrong way, she plunged in anyway.
She stood in the middle of the room looking confused. Staring off and putting her finger to her lips. Shrugging her shoulders in a helpless gesture.
"What?" Sybil ventured. Thinking she knew what Mary was doing, but not quite sure. "Is that the first word? What?"
Mary nodded.
Her hands then gestured in a rounded way around her belly. Cora and Violet looked rather astonished.
Mary gestured another shrug, as if questioning the circumstances of the swollen belly. She then began to walk around with an aching back. And sitting down awkwardly in a chair.
Edith, already well aware of all that Mary mimed, caught on first.
"Uh…" She coughed, but said it anyway. "Ummm… What to Expect When You're Expecting?" Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion she looked towards Mary for confirmation.
Mary simply nodded and gave a beatific smile. Cora's gasp of breath could be heard clear across the library floor.
"Mary!" She said, throwing herself out of the chair, "not you too!" And as Mary said, "yes, I'm afraid so."
The two women, mother and daughter, embraced. Matthew helped Violet up and out of her seat. "Oh my dear boy." She took his strong hand in her more delicate one, "what news this day has brought."
Matthew had more news to tell. "We should also add…." And he walked over to Mary to stand by her side. "that even before we knew of this wonderful baby to come, I asked Mary not only that she put up with me for the rest of her life, but that she do so in wedded bliss. And for some astonishing reason that I still can't quite fathom, she agreed."
"Someone has to take you on." Mary quipped back. "It might as well be me." And they kissed and sealed their deal. The others in the room drifted away from their consciousness. They were alone. The kiss lingered.
""I do hope I'm interrupting something." Violet finally said, with more than a touch of caustic wit, forcing the lovers to part. Matthew turned to Violet and she moved him out of the way so she could embrace her beloved granddaughter. But then took his arm as well. Standing between the two of them she said, "All this news in one day is quite too much to take in. I do so wish Robert were here to join in the celebrations."
"He is, Granny." Mary said, clasping her hand as tight as she could, "He's here in all our hearts and souls."
The family gathered in silent tribute and prayer to their missing loved one, and promised each other that the new year would bring happiness and joy into all their lives.
It turned out to be a good day after all.
XX
I think I got all that news out…. Phew! Next up a really sexy New Year's Eve party…. Mary finally stays the night in Matthew's flat!