A/N: Merry Christmas hellfirefairy (on dA)

And Merry Christmas to all of you!

This is a prompt-based drabble, and what the prompt is, you'll find out in the bottom A/N. This one is not up for a sequel vote, because, as you will see, it's not a story per se…It's somewhat canon-ish in parts, mostly 'what if'.

Well I'll leave you to it! Oh, and it's Christmas Day so it's gonna be fluffy as all heck, okay? ;)

He Is One Thing to Me

Oh, I've heard every argument in the book... 'he's too old for you', 'he's a criminal', 'he's…' Well, alright, so those are the arguments people usually get hung up on… People like Batman or my friends, but, surprisingly, him as well. Because there are times he looks at me like I'm from another planet… it's usually when I make him listen to some new band, or take him to places without classical music and real linen on the tables…which is strange because he's far from a rich snob… well…. far from a snob, anyway… maybe it's the age-thing, because "going out" to him usually includes at least a nice restaurant… Mostly, though, that look comes from others.

The criminal thing he doesn't mention too much. He knows what he's done. He's proud of some of it… He knows we will never see eye to eye there, but I think I surprised him when I said I could live with that… because I can. His methods are not always… shall we say… neat, but neither are ours. We Titans fight with everything we have to save the city and, now and again, the whole planet. We probably wreck more building than Slade… but we try not to wreck lives…

Ah, no matter, it's not our differences I wanted to tell you about, but what makes us click… We both love to push ourselves. We love fighting, we love knowledge and we love getting better all the time. We won't settle. And we don't mind a little bit of pain either, if that what it takes. We challenge ourselves and each other and that goes beyond age and personal history, it makes those things not matter so much… Besides, I want as much time with him as I can, and he's more or less immortal, so… yeah… I'm not going to sit back and wait until I reach some kind of approved age limit, because, guess what? Our age difference will still be the same!

Oh, god, I'm sounding like one of those runaway kids on talk shows, right? But come on! I won't end up pregnant, will I? And it's not like I have any normal life anyway, not since my parents died and… nah, the circus wasn't exactly normal either, was it? I just don't DO normal… I think everyone else should do the smart thing and stay in school and don't run away from home… everyone but me. I'm such a hypocrite… but hey, I don't see those kids saving lives on a regular basis… I have a hell of a lot more responsibility than keeping my freaking room clean, thank you very much! If everything I had to complain about were curfews, pocket money and why I can't get those cool pair of jeans I want, then I'd be happy, really… I have to explain to parents sometimes that their kid died. Suck on that. Because yeah, we're heroes, but that doesn't mean we can save everybody. It's not a freaking kiddy-show, this life. It's not just freedom and gadgets and catchphrases… it's pain and blood and death too… and then there's Slade.

Slade. In his arms I can seek shelter from everything. I can cry there, I can be small and helpless… or I can laugh and feel warm and loved and strong. He's both things, a safe harbor and… well, I'd like to say refueling station, but I just know I'd get that look from him if he ever found that out… but screw that.

He might be older, but that means he has seen things, he knows things I can't possibly dream of knowing. Things that can't be learned in a book. He has experience and maturity, and god I need the maturity… My team, most of them cling to need to goof off, that their way of dealing, I guess, but as their leader I can't really join them full out. I need someone to talk strategy with without the word 'zombie' coming up even once.

At the same time I don't want to change my team, of course. I love them. It's not their job to change because of my needs; I have to take those somewhere else. In a responsible way. Which, some may say, would not include fucking a man old enough to be my grandfather. Screw them. What do they know? Besides, if you are immortal, how important are years?

Slade claims they still matter to him, to an extent… that he couldn't understand why he was attracted to me at first, apart from my body… and I still think that I could have gotten him in the sack quicker if I had boobs… what can I say, the man is a womanizer! Well, not as long as we've been together, of course, I would have had his balls for it, but… ah, you know. He flirts a bit. Not to get to me or to show off, it's just in his nature… he's not even aware of it and he's not interested at all… I can tell that because it doesn't matter what the women look like. If it had all been skinny young things with boobs the size of watermelons, then I'd be suspicious… but he even goes all charming around old ladies! And sure enough, he gets an extra thick slice of pie at the coffee shop too… stupid coffee-shop slut… oh, sorry… got sidetracked there.

I have to admit that I like to watch him flirt, though, because then I don't feel so silly for falling for him. The way his voice lowers, just enough… the almost boyish, teasing grin… the look in that eye of his, melting every heart in sight… -sigh- yeah… I've got it bad… He does it to me too, sure, but I'm a guy… he's even told me that, like I didn't already know. And Slade doesn't flirt with guys… not really. I don't think he feels it's alright… I swear, sometimes I want to put on a skirt just to see what would happen…

He makes love to me, though. He doesn't just fuck me, oh, no… well, unless we're in a hurry… sometimes that's hot too… No, there's foreplay and lovemaking and cuddling and kissing… it's absolutely great.

What can I say? He's perfect… he's exactly what I need and I know he's always there for me as much as I'm there for him. Because I hold him too. He doesn't cry often, but sometimes bouts of nightmares hit him pretty hard… and then I'm his safe harbor…

…because he's my man.

I didn't want to love him. No… that's wrong. Contrary to popular belief I don't have a problem with the concept of love. I have fallen in and out of love countless times in my life, and I wouldn't mind loving the young man as a friend, or a nephew or even a son… but I didn't want to be attracted to him. But I had to admit that I was, in the end. By then the little minx had figured out that he wanted me too, and nothing, literally, could stop us from being together.

And I'm not sorry. I'm not. I didn't even feel guilty the first morning after. Why should I? I made a decision, after all. I could have gotten the hell out of the city, and I almost did, but I was just so tired… tired of running…

People think I'm this coldhearted mercenary, and yes, that's partly true, but that does not mean I can't love. I've been a loner for a long time, that's true as well, but that was not out of choice, but because of my job. When I became what I am today, I had a wife and a kid on the way. Soon I had a family with two sons, and if I hadn't made some rather unorthodox decisions about my career, I'd still be a family man. With a large circle of friends, probably… I never had any problem making friends… but then it happened. Joseph was hurt, Addie of course was… shall we say… a bit upset? Yes, let's, because there's not a word for what she was, and I don't blame her. I wouldn't have blamed her even if she had managed to kill me that day…

But life moved on. I learned that with my job, keeping friends and family was not a wise choice, so I became this lone wolf you all had me pegged for…and why didn't I just quit? Get a regular job? Because… I couldn't. When the army kicked me out I became a hunter for a while, but that wasn't enough. I had been in the army since I was sixteen, I lived and breathed adrenaline… It's physically impossible for me to just… settle down behind a desk, I can't do it. Maybe I have some sort of syndrome…

But then along came Robin. Robin, who understood that aspect better than anyone. I think even Batman will settle down with a blanket over his knees one day, but Robin? Not a chance. He won't even slow down, and, if things goes the way I want them to, I'll be right there beside him.

We are discoverers, him and I… we might not discover continents, but we discover each other. And yes, I know your mind was instantly thinking about something naughty and you are right. Sexually as well. What can I say? He's attractive. Really attractive. He can make me start to drool like a mindless dog with just a look, or, even better, the way he shifts his hips sometimes when he's standing. That often happens when we have an argument about something for some reason…. god damn it, is the little brat aware of what he's doing to me? I think I have to get to the bottom of that… hmm… yes…

I apologize. Robin's bottom, however appealing it might be, is not what I wanted to talk about… that's only a part of him, after all. His mind, for example, his mind is amazing. He has an observational skill and a way to analyze what he sees that leaves me behind sometimes. Not that I'd let him know that if I can avoid it. I guess Batman helped fine-tune it, but he must have started with some damn good raw material…

We complement each other. I won't say 'complete', because I don't believe in that drivel. We are two complete individuals on our own, after all. I try to give whatever he needs from me, and he makes it so easy. It feels so good to wake up with him in my arms, smell his hair… wait for him to make that adorable little sound he makes just before he wakes up… I don't want anyone to ever take that away from me.

Oh, we fight, as I mentioned before. We have a pretty normal relationship as far as it can be normal. He has a key to my flat, I can pretty much get into the Tower whenever I want, key or not. Drives Cyborg crazy. We don't exactly live together, because with our jobs… and no, I don't have a desk job. Some of what I do I still do outside the law, but there are always people to be hunted, people who deserves it, and taking them alive is a challenge in its own… So I'm happy. It's almost surprising to realize, but yes, I am. And I know who I have to thank for it. I will take him out tonight… a nice place, not one of those loud obnoxious places. He will roll his eyes at the fancy menu, but I know he likes it. I'm still trying to figure out what more he might like… Sometimes I feel like I am on a minefield. I've never been in a relationship with a man before. I've had a few experiences, quite a few, actually, though I hope that won't tarnish your image of me, but those have been hookups, one night stands… stress-relief, in the military, mostly. This is new… and I want to make it work without suddenly treating him like a woman, because he's not one, and that's part of why I love him… I think he understands… I might buy him a rose tonight anyway, though, just to see if I can get him to blush. His ears turn red when he's really thrilled about something but tries to hide it… like when I gave him the apartment key… I tried to make that into a bit of a romantic gesture, because I didn't want to just shove it in his hand…

And, yes, in your eyes that might make me a softie, but I already told you: you don't know me. You know my image, like you know Robin's image. Have you any idea how many nights he has cried himself to sleep in my arms? How many nights I have woken up, drenched in sweat, with the names of my dead children on my lips? He's there for me then, when no one else is. That matters. That matters a lot.

So if you would ask me what he is to me, this teenage hero, the answer is pretty simple.

He's my angel.

The End

A/N; the prompt for this drabble was the last sentence... I tried to write this as a freestanding story without having any universes in mind, but of course a few slipped into my thoughts anyway… The arguments are the same old ones, the ones that always seem to come up when this pairing is discussed… not that us fan girls have a lot of problems with them... ;) I don't know if you found this very interesting, but it was a good exercise for me, actually… made me think about how I write the characters and what I might want to work with in the future…

So…. this was it! I hoped you have enjoyed several of the stories this year… don't forget to go back to the previous chapter and vote for a sequel if you haven't, and I'll see you on New Years!

All the best!

Your Mama Duck

/Wynja