I forced myself to keep my eyes open. I could not fall asleep again…

The last two times that I did, I fell into terrible nightmares; about Austin, about the plane crash, even about Stacy and Caroline. It was like all my memories of being stuck here were coming back to haunt me, even though I was still living it.

My first nightmare was about the plane crash. It was just like how it really happened, except none of us lived. Flashes of everyone dead, including me flooded my closed eyes, and I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was being suffocated, and then thankfully I woke up. But I was so tired, I couldn't stand to keep my eyes open another moment, and that's when I had the nightmare about Austin.

It was like a horrible, slow motion replay him and Thomas going over the cliff, and me crying at the edge, searching desperately for him, but seeing nothing but rocks and water. I woke up in a cold sweat, but I wasn't in the dark. It was pretty bright out, so it must be close to the afternoon. I walk out of the plane and everyone's scattered around doing different things. I walk over to Wanda who is going threw her suitcase.

"What are you doing?" I ask her, thankful my voice is usable.

"Going through what clothes I want to soak in the river." She says.

"Boy do I miss smelling nice." I say and sigh.

She laughs slightly, "Don't we all?"

I nod and sit down on the ground, picking at the grass, trying somehow to preoccupy myself, "Want to go to the river with me and Rick?" She asks.

I shrug, "I don't know…" I tell her.

"I think you should. Take a nice refreshing dip in the river." She says with a sincere smile. I try to smile back, but it just turned into a fake one.

"Okay, I guess." I tell her.

I wait patiently for her to be done with the rest of her clothes, and I follow her and Rick to the river. We walk slowly, taking our time. It's not like we have anywhere to be right?

The sun is warm and sinking into my skin. I'd almost think of enjoying it if this was a different situation. I haven't spent this much time outside since I was really little. I rather be inside, sitting on my comfortable chair I have in my basement, reading a great book, like the last book of the Hunger Game series, I was half way through before I left… If only I had brought it with me.

When we get there, Wanda goes over to one side and starts soaking her clothes, while Rick stays with her, continuing a conversation, while I stand here awkwardly, staring at the clear water. I was starting to feel hypnotized by the way it flowed gently down the stream. I've never realized how beautiful it really is. It's the only beautiful thing I've seen here at this terrible place, besides Austin Moon.

I breathe in the fresh air, soaking it up in my lungs, wanting nothing more but to be transported to a different place. But sadly that is just a daydream, an 11:11 wish, a terrible, terrible wanting feeling, that will never happen. Or at least it feels that way.

I can't take it anymore; I need to escape from my thoughts. I take off my dirty, beaten up converse and jump into the river. At first, it's an ice cold shock. But my body gets used to it fast as I come up for air and start floating on my back.

I float for a while, and then go back under. I open my eyes, and watch a few fish swim by me as I stay as still as I can. I let my eyes roam until I see something up ahead floating the water. I come up again, and move my soaked hair out of my face so I could see. But what I see, I wasn't prepared for.

I scream loudly, grabbing the attention of Wanda and Rick who then look in my direction, sharing the same horrified expression that I have. As I stand here, still as a statue, I watch Thomas' dead body float by me down the river. The feeling of throwing up runs through me as I wait for Austin's body to be right behind him, but there's no sign of it, "Ally!" Wanda yells at me, standing near my shoes.

She's gesturing for me to get out of the water, but I'm too stunned by what I'm seeing. It's a horrifying sight, and I'm sure to have even more nightmares now. I don't step out of the water until Rick is in it too, dragging me by my arm. Thomas' body was a strange shade of purple, and he was as lifeless as a rock.

"Are you okay?" Wanda asks me, but I'm still staring at the water, praying to God that no other bodies show up.

"I'm fine." I tell her. I slip my shoes on slowly, and we walk back to the plane in silence. I guess none of us knew what to say.

When we get back, Frank is setting up the fire. We all walk up to him, causing him to turn around and look at us with a worried look, "What happened?" he asks. Do we all make it that obvious?

Wanda and I don't say anything, so Rick decides to speak, "We saw Thomas' body floating down the river." He says in one breath.

"But not Austin's body, what if he's alive still? We need to go search for him." I say.

"It's highly unlikely Ally. If Thomas didn't survive the fall, Austin couldn't have either." Frank says.

I give him a death glare. How can he say something like that to me? I shake my head at him, tears forming in my eyes as I walk away. I don't know why I've ever liked Frank. He's just turned into a heartless jerk. How can he think this way about Austin? I know that Austin has not done anything to him, and I know that Austin would be looking for Frank if he were missing; because that's just the type of person Austin is… or was.

I don't know what to think, or what to do about any of this. There's a feeling that he's still alive that I can't shake off. My heart aches for him, aches for his presence. My heart is full of love for this boy that has slipped through my fingertips so many times. But the real question is; is he really alive, or can I just not bring myself to accept reality.

Author's Note:

I must say, i am sort of disappointed in some of the reviews i got. I don't know if most of you were kidding or not, or that you really are that upset with me because of what happened with Austin. But remember folks, this is indeed my story, and i shall write it the way i imagine it should go and i can't please everyone. But don't worry, any negative comments haven't stopped me from writing the story the way i want to, so this is where it was going all along.

Thanks for all the kind words too! I love all of you deeply.