I don't own it.

Btw, I have a few more days with a computer but whether I am able update anything will be left to chance.

--

Eighteen year old Allen Walker waited in the airport terminal cafe, sipping soft drink and flicking through a random magazine that had been left by the previous occupant of the table. For what felt the thousandth time in the last hour he checked his watch.

He was waiting for his friend Lavi to arrive on the next plane from Japan. He had known Lavi since childhood, had gone to primary school and high school with him, and now that he had graduated he was attending the same university and also sharing an apartment with him, and Allen also happened to be secretly in love with him. Of course, that love had wavered a few times after the night club incident three months ago, but the teen had always been a very forgiving person...

He sighed heavily, leant back and glanced at the giant clock on the wall as though looking at it rather then his watch would make time go faster. Lavi had been in Japan for almost two months. At first the twenty year old had said he was going for five days, then on the fourth day Allen received an email saying he'd be gone for another week without any explanation as to why. A week later an email came saying another two weeks, and it had gone on like that with no reason to the extended stay whatsoever. Allen had tried calling him and sending him emails back, but Lavi's phone was always switched off and the emails were never answered. It had made him sick with worry, especially with the way he'd been behaving since the night club incident. Then, when Lavi had sent an email saying he'd be back today, Allen had expected another email later saying a change of plans, but none had came. Now, sitting in the airport waiting, he half expected Lavi had forgotten to tell him the change and he wasn't coming at all.

At long last an announcement came on the overhead speaker that mentioned Lavi's plane had arrived. The white haired boy put down the magazine, stood up and walked towards the arrivals gate, dodging his way through the crowd as he did.

--

By the time he got to the correct destination there was already a crowd spilling through security, talking and chatting and looking for loved ones and talking on mobile phones. The teen scanned through the crowd, standing on his toes to see over it as he searched for a crimson red head. However, before he could look through the entire room, a pair of hands suddenly slid over his silver eyes and he felt a breath on his neck.

'Guess who.'

Allen smiled and turned, pulling the hands away from his eyes. The familiar face of Lavi grinned down at him, his single emerald eye glinting mischievously. As soon as he turned, the redhead caught Allen up in a tight hug, squeezing the air from his lungs, lifting him off the grounds and spinning him till he was dizzy.

'Allen! I missed you!'

'I-I missed you too!' the shorter boy choked, gasping for breath. His friend took the hint and put him down.

Allen thanked him and glanced him up and down, a little surprised by his appearance. He looked as he normally did, stylishly old clothes, perfectly messy red hair and Eyepatch over his right eye to hide the blindness, but it was still strange to see him cheery and smiling warmly. Before he'd left for Japan, his skin had been clammy and pale, his one green eye dull and he'd given off the impression of sickness. The few times he'd smiled since the night club incident he'd been either drunk or high.

'Eh?' Lavi blinked, 'Something wrong?'

'No.' Allen shook his head and blushed lightly, 'You just... You look really good.

'Aw thanks.' The twenty year old smiled, then suddenly glanced around, 'Anywaaayyy... Wheres... Ah! Yu-Chan! You find our bags?'

Allen blinked in surprise and looked around to where he was waving. Coming towards them was a Japanese boy around Lavi's age with long silky hair so black it was almost blue, and a feminine face and figure. For a moment Allen had almost mistaken him for a girl.

'Here,' Yu-Chan stopped and dropped a suitcase at Lavi's feet, hanging on to his own, 'You should learn to carry your own things Usagi.'

'Aw, but I had to find Allen!' Lavi pouted and slung his arm around the white-haired boy's shoulder, making him blush again. Yu-Chan rolled his eyes and looked Allen up and down, making him feel a little uncomfortable. He smirked.

'Che, this is the guy you told me about? He's shorter then I had imagined. And the bleached hair makes him look like an old man.'

'Hey!' a vein popped in the teen's forehead, 'I'm not short! And my hair is naturally this way! And I don't look old.'

'Whatever.'

Lavi chuckled nervously. 'Hehe, this is Yu Kanda Allen. He prefers to be called Kanda though. I met him in Tokyo. Is it ok if he stays with us for one night?'

'Um... Ok...'

'Sweet! Let's go Yu-Chan!'

'Don't call me that Baka!'

Lavi chuckled, grabbed Kanda's hand and started dragging him from the arrivals gate. Allen trotted after him, and as always when Lavi introduced him to a new boyfriend or girlfriend, jealously swirled in his stomach, dampening his mood somewhat. However, he also felt worried. In the three months leading up to Lavi's disappearance to Japan, he hadn't exactly been making the best choices of who he dated and hung out with. It was most likely meddling on his part, but he made a silent vow to keep and eye on Kanda while he was there, lest he be secretly a member of the yakuza or whatever they called it.
Once outside, Allen caught up to the two older boys, and they started walking towards the train station. The redheaded one of the group was chatting loudly like he used to, which made the younger boy quite happy. Kanda was apparently ignoring him, the conversation one-sided. Allen sped up a little more so he was walking beside them and Lavi smiled at him.

'Hey Allen. Sorry I didn't answer your emails and stuff, I was super busy. I had to do my university work by correspondence and stuff and they seemed to like sending me heaps at a time.'

'It's ok...' the boy nodded shyly, 'Um... So how did you and Kanda meet?'

'Me and Kanda?' he blinked, 'Oh...You know, just a random thing...'

He trailed off, and then started talking to the unresponsive Japanese man next to him. The white haired teen furrowed his brow in confusion, but decided to let it slide. He would investigate the trip when they got home.

--

The entire train ride, Lavi talked, mostly to Allen after figuring out Kanda was wearing earplugs. Allen engaged him in conversation right back, and it felt like old times before they'd gone to that stupid night club. Soon enough they arrived at the station and walked the rest of the way to their two-bedroom apartment. Upon arrival, Kanda went to take a shower, and Allen and Lavi went to get blankets and pillows from the storage room. While they were there shifting through junk, Allen swallowed nervously.

'Um... Lavi... Are you sure Kanda is... He's not dangerous is he?'

'What?' Lavi looked up in surprise. He chuckled. 'No, he's not... Though he's a black belt in martial arts, plus he's trained in sword fighting... It's probably best if you avoid pissing him off too bad.'

'Ok.' Allen sighed, 'Sorry to pry... It's just... You're not really good at choosing people to date so I get worried...'

'What?' Again, he looked up in shock, 'Me dating Yu-Chan?'

He smiled, sighed, and placed a hand on Allen's shoulder.

'Don't you worry Allen. I'm not dating him. He's just a friend.'

'Are you sure?' the smaller boy found it hard to believe.

'If I was really dating him he'd be sleeping in my bed, wouldn't he? He's staying with us cos he's visiting his girlfriend in the city tomorrow, but he couldn't find a motel at short notice, and she's out tonight. He's leaving in the morning.'

He gave Allen's shoulder a comforting squeeze, then bent down to pick up the bedding. Allen felt utterly relieved at the news he wasn't dating Kanda as he followed him out to the lounge room, but there were still a few things bugging him.
How was it Lavi was back to normal? Did that mean...

Lavi,' he said suddenly, 'Are you still drinking and smoking and stuff?'

'No. I gave all that shit up.'

Allen blinked in surprise at the answer. He'd expected Lavi to laugh, avoid the question or say to him it was none of his business like he had so many times in those three weeks from hell, but here he was, looking him in the eye with a sincere expression on his face. He couldn't help but gape a little, at a loss of what to say. As he stood there, Lavi raised a hand and cupped his cheek, stroking the skin with his thumb, making Allen blush pink.

'It's good to see that cut didn't scar at all...'

'L-Lavi...'

'Anyway,' the redhead continued as he took back his hand, dropped the pillows and blankets on the couch, 'I'm starving. Can we order some pizza tonight? I feel like some Italian after all that sushi and soba...'

He smiled and left through the door to the kitchen. Allen stared after him, eyes wide, then sighed heavily and dropped to sit on the couch. Absent-mindedly, he raised his hand to feel the place Lavi had touched, still warm from his body heat.

--

Three months ago

Allen sat on the night club stool at the bar, drinking lemonade. He was there with Lavi, celebrating that he'd just been accepting into the same university as him. He and Lavi weren't drinkers, but the redhead enjoying coming to nightclubs to occasionally dance and talk to people. Allen had danced a bit as well that night, but had stopped to get a drink after getting tired.

'Oi Allen!' Lavi came running from the crowd with a big goofy smile on his face, his red hair purplish under the flashing blue lights. He was pulling a man of about twenty five after him.

'This is Tykki,' the older boy grinned and gestured to the man, 'Isn't he sexy.'

Tykki smiled and held out his hand. Allen shook it, trying to ignore the jealousy welling inside of him. The man was indeed sexy, with wavy black hair, gold eyes, the face of a Portuguese male supermodel and naturally tanned skin. However, Allen merely smiled politely rather then agree with his friend.

'Nice to meet you, I'm Allen.'

'Pleasure.' The older man smiled seductively and turned to the twenty year old standing next to him, 'So Lavi how about i buy you that drink?'

'Sure thing, I'll have a diet coke.'

'Hm,' Allen sighed, then put on a smiling mask, 'Well I'll just quickly go to the bathroom ok Lavi?'

'Righty oh, hurry back! I wanna dance with you some more!'

Allen blushed, hopped off his stroll and made his way through the crowd, the techno music beating against his ears and the bright lights clouding his vision somewhat.

When he returned, Tykki and Lavi had disappeared. He asked the man at the bar where they had gone, and was told they had left, the Portuguese man saying he needed to bring him home because he'd gotten too drunk. Allen had thought that strange, as Lavi had ordered a non-alcoholic drink, and also because he'd only been gone a few minutes, not even long enough to down two beers. No one could possibly get so drunk they had to leave in that time, unless they had been given one of those daterape drugs Allen had heard about in the news.
So, he left the night club to see if he could catch up to them to see if Lavi had gotten sick or something.

As he was walking, he heard voices in an alleyway.

'No...Come on...Leggo...mhhpt!' the voice was slurred and confused, but it definitely sounded like Lavi. The sound he made gave the impression that he had been gagged suddenly.

'Shut up you bitch,' the second voice was Tykki, except the seductive charm had gone. It was now gruff and cruel. Worried, he turned sharply into the alleyway, and was shocked to find Lavi, his best friend, being raped.

He managed to find a board of wood and knock Tykki out with it and then call the police, but the damage was done.

Then came the month from hell. Lavi claimed he was fine, but he started going out to parties and nightclubs every night, drinking heavily and taking up smoking. He started bringing home strangers, and going home with them as well, eventually taking up all kinds of drugs. He took painkillers everyday to cure his numerous hangovers. He wasn't eating enough.
Allen wasn't completely sure what was going on, having no experience on how to handle such situations, but it distressed him greatly to see the person he loved this way. He tried to be understanding, telling him to stop, and to get help, but Lavi wouldn't hear any of it. Finally, the younger of the two got fed up and confronted him saying he was going to stop and see a therapist whether he liked it or not, and Lavi lost his temper, punching him in the face dangerously hard, and heavy bruises appeared on his cheek, so bad it was likely they would scar. The next morning Lavi announced he was going on holiday to Japan.

--

Back in the present, Allen turned off the shower and stepped out, reaching for a towel to dry himself with. After he did that, he put on his pyjamas, and opened the sink cabinet to look for his tooth brush. Lavi seemed like his old self again, like the night club incident had never happened. However, what he was doing in Japan for so long still bugged him, and he hadn't had the opportunity to discuss it with him yet. However, He had the feeling the redhead wasn't very ready to talk about, for whatever reason...

Just then, Lavi's bathroom bag fell from the shelf of the cabinet and onto the floor, its contents scattering across the white tiles with a clatter. The boy sighed and crouched to pick the objects up, wishing Lavi would learn to keep things a little tidier.

Suddenly, something caught his eye and he stopped. Lying there was a box coloured white and silver, medication with some unpronounceable name. He stood up, staring at it in confusion. His blood ran cold, and he rushed from the bathroom, and ran down the hall to knock on Lavi's door, entering without waiting for an answer. Lavi looked up from the book he was reading in surprise.

'Lavi, what's this?'

He held out the box, hoping against hope that it wasn't some drug or painkiller, and that Lavi was fine, and he was clean like he said he was, but the moment the older boy's single emerald eye took in the sight of the medicine, his expression darkened. He reached forward and snatched it.

'You weren't supposed to find that.'

'Find what?' Allen could feel anger welling up inside him, 'Find out that you're still a junkie? You told me you weren't taking any shit anymore!'

'I'm not!'

'Then what is that? Why were you in Japan?! Tell me already!'

He finished his small outburst, staring at Lavi, waiting for a response. His friend stared coldly back at him, before sighing heavily.

'I... Those are anti-depressants Allen.'

'What?' the teen blinked. Lavi nodded and opened the top draw of his bedside table. After a moment of ruffling through it, he brought out several pieces of paper bound together and passed them to the boy.

'There's my prescription. See? A doctor told me to take these. It's fine.'

'I...You...' Allen gaped. He'd suspected somewhat that Lavi had depression, as it was common for rape victims to get the mental disease, but Lavi had always been so insistent about not getting help he hadn't expected this at all. He looked up.

'Then why were you in Japan for two months?'

'Because I hit you.'

The redhead stood up, arms folded, taring at his feet sadly. 'I...I thought I was fine but... Well I guess when you hurt the person you care about the most you tend to take a different perspective on your situation...I needed help, but I didn't want to be around you until I was sure I wouldn't hurt you again...I'd always wanted to go to Japan, so...'

He chuckled dryly, and once again, Allen was reduced to staring in shock. He glanced down at medical forms in his hand, then back up at the twenty year old.

'And Kanda...?'

'I met him cos he's the son of my therapist back in Tokyo. He really is here to visit his girlfriend; it was coincidence we'd be coming here on the same day so I offered to let him stay... I'll be getting a new therapist here now that I'm back though... I was meaning to stay longer but I missed you too much...'

Despite the situation, Allen blushed. He stared sheepishly at the floor, wringing his hands guiltily. 'I'm sorry I accused you.'

'It's alright,' the redhead looked up, smiling slightly. An awkward silence descended upon them, and Allen wondered what he should do. Should he leave? Should he stay and talk?
However, before he could come up with an answer, Lavi closed the space between them and he suddenly felt the older boy's lips on his own. He made a shocked noise, and the twenty year old pulled away, blushing.

'S-sorry... Shouldn't have done that...Ugh...' he groaned and ran his fingers through his crimson hair. Allen swallowed thickly, eyes wide.

'Wh-what...' he stuttered, 'Why did you..?'

'It's nothing. Forget it.'

'No! I mean...' he paused, his face reddening, 'I don't... Want to forget it...'

It was Lavi's turn to blink. Then, he chuckled and sat on the edge of his bed, shaking his head in disbelief. 'Things...' he sighed, 'Things aren't... What they used to be. I want everything to go back to the way they were, before I was...And everything went insane... But... Well that's wishing for the impossible, am I right?'

'Yeah...' Allen nodded.

'So I thought, hell, what else could possibly change, and I took a chance and kissed you. I love you Allen...Or at least I hope I do...I'm not sure what's what anymore...'

He sighed and put his head in his hands. Allen came over to sit beside him, slinging his arm around his shoulder as he did. The older man leant his head against Allen's chest, curling up against him.

'I'm sorry I keep putting us both through shit.'

'It's ok.' The white haired boy smiled nervously, 'And... Well, I feel the same way if you're curious.'

'Heh,' Lavi smiled weakly, 'must be my lucky day.'

He then sat up, and they shared another kiss, more passionate then the first.

--

That was a fic to try and defeat writers block, so sorry it's not good.

Oh, and btw, i know most rape victim stereotypes have them afraid of touching people and being unsociable and stuff, but i know that a lot of them will end up acting like Lavi did, so...yeah...

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