Weeping Willows
By Dragonessclaw
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. They are the product of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi. Only the story is mine.
Hey everyone I am back. I am sorry for the long wait but my life has become very hectic and complicated as of late. I can only apologize and hope for your forgiveness. I will try to update as close to my previous schedule as much as possible. Hopefully I will be able to finish this story up in the next few chapters.
Chapter 25 A Time For Healing
Kagome had just gotten home from work and she was exhausted. She was so glad to be home in her safe heaven where she could shut the rest of the world out. It wasn't that she'd had a terrible day or anything but, no matter how much she tried to keep busy her mind kept drifting to him. She was so distracted; she kept making mistakes and after getting yelled at by her boss, opted to go home. She grabbed the papers she had been working on and left as soon as possible.
Putting her papers on her desk Kagome turned on the desk lamp and sat down to start working. Maybe being at home and away from the prying eyes of her co-workers she would be able to concentrate. She'd turned on the radio at her desk and 'Can't Be Caged' was playing. As she hummed along with the music her thoughts turned back on that evening at the bar. She remembered Sesshomaru saying he didn't dance much and offering to waltz with her at another time. She remembered thinking he was joking at first, until she noticed his expression. He was so uncomfortable but, you could see he was trying, it was so endearing.
As she sat there trying to work, Kagome kept getting flashes of beautiful eyes that seemed to light from within, they were so intense. The flash of a smile that was rarely seen from Sesshomaru unless they were alone. Just thinking about it Kagome had to smile as she remembered that night. Kagome wished her thoughts would have stopped there but, her mind wasn't always so kind to her.
She rubbed her arms to ward of the sudden chill and goose bumps she'd gotten when she remembered them dancing together and how it had felt being so close to him. His masculine smell, the way their bodies seemed to just fit together, Kagome sat up straighter and tried to banish the image from her mind but it was too late. That empty hollow feeling in her chest had returned with a vengeance and all Kagome could do was close her eyes and huffed in irritation.
She was better than this; she had worked so hard to cut herself off from these kinds of emotions. Where was that Kagome? Where was that cold woman that just treated men as a means to an end? Lost. Gone was that hardcore person that didn't let things let this affect her.
Kagome felt like pulling out her hair. Why was it that she always went to the extreme? Either she was completely shut off or a blubbering mess of emotions. She couldn't seem to find a middle ground. She didn't like feeling so much but neither did she really want to go back to the way she was before. There was still a part of her that wanted to have that happy ending and not feel so alone and unsure. No she didn't need a man in her life but she realized that she wanted one.
Of course Kagome had her friends and family but this was different. It had been so nice having a companion and someone to just sit and talk to, flirt with. That was not meant to be however, she had put herself out there and had been rejected. She would just have to move on and forget him. Once she got herself together maybe she would again join the dating scene but right now Kagome felt it best to be alone. Jumping into bed with someone now would do nothing but start the same cycle she'd been stuck in before. No, she would deal with the feelings and emotions, examine this situation and then later, much later maybe she would try again. Now that she had felt things she hadn't felt in years, and some she hadn't felt ever, Kagome didn't want to go back. She would just have to learn to deal with the emotions. She had once before and it didn't kill her she had just allowed them to overwhelm her. That would not happen again.
Shaking her head lightly as if to shake off negative thoughts Kagome decided that she would tolerate this no more. Thinking back to what Sango had said the last time they spoke Kagome realized she had not been so strong before. She was hard core yes but only because she cut herself off from guys. Shoving your feelings deep down so as not to feel the heartache wasn't being strong. Head resting on her palm Kagome had forgotten all the papers in front of her as she looked inside. Kagome had been using men, never getting to close to them to shield her from having to get too vested. That wasn't being strong but weak by running away from everything she was afraid to feel.
Kagome had been doing this a lot lately. Reflecting on just what had been and was still going on with her life. Miroku and Sango had been a Godsend with their patience and support. Sometimes they just listened to her and let her vent. She had finally started to heal completely.
If asked last year Kagome would have told anyone that she had dealt with these things a long time ago. That was what she had told herself as well. But it was like a deep cut that still had a piece of glass in it. Everything around had healed but the one part. Sure the skin might have grown over it but it would never completely heal until you took out that last sliver. That is what Kagome had been doing these past few weeks; slowly removing the last slivers from her wounds.
She was even ready to face off with Inuyasha for the last time. She would not bend to his will nor would she be intimidated. He had disappeared as of late but Kagome knew he was probably just planning something and trying to catch her off guard. When he did pop back up she would confront him and if he refused to leave her alone she was going to the police. Inuyasha had quite a few charges already, if she put out a restraining order against him he would definitely leave her alone. Kagome doubted Inuyasha wanted to chance anymore charges. He might not be able to wriggle out of it this time and Inuyasha liked his freedom too much to risk jail time.
Her mind made up Kagome took a deep cleansing breath. Feeling better now than she had all day now that she had made a decision Kagome went into the kitchen to make a snack. As she was taking out the rice cooker the phone rang. Picking up the phone and sandwiching it between her left shoulder and her ear Kagome cheerfully greeted, "Konnichiwa."
That was when Kagome heard the voice she wasn't quite ready for yet. She hadn't expected to hear from him anytime soon, if ever. Kagome's heartbeat sped up and her stomach started doing flips at the sound of the voice on the other end.
"Kagome," the voice said and she was thrown into a whirlwind of emotions again.
XXXoooXXX Until Next Time
O.k. guys tell me what you think. This one was a little hard trying to explain exactly what was going on with Kagome mentally and emotionally. My muse has temporarily left me and I am too tired to try to beat her into submission.