Chapter 25
"I know everybody has a lot of questions and is wondering what happened on that supply run." Rick started talking when everybody from the group, minus Lori, Shane and Carl, was seated in the living room. Rick had talked to Carl earlier to explain what was going on and it didn't go very well. The kid has been hiding out in his room ever since.
"When he came back with T-Dog, we all heard Shane say that Jarah was dead. Heard him claim that he saw her die. Obviously that was not the case." he paused, looking at the floor, trying to choose his words carefully although he knew there was no good way of saying what he had to say. "When we found Jarah, she told me what had happened. I couldn't believe it myself, but... well I talked to Shane about it and he confessed."
"Confessed what?" Dale asked, although he was sure he knew the answer already.
"Shane tried to kill Jarah,... on Lori's order." Rick finally said it, releasing the breath he'd been holding.
There was a moment of complete silence, before all hell broke loose. Everybody had something to say, their voices getting louder and louder because everybody tried to be heard over the voices of everybody else. Jarah was close to bolting from the room, the noise of the loud voices causing an anxiety attack to flare up. Daryl noticed that she stiffened and that she was breathing faster and quickly grabbed her hand and leaned over to whisper in her ear that she was gonna be okay and that he was there for her. She squeezed his hand in a death grip, but started to calm down.
"Everybody shut up! Only one person at a time!" Rick yelled at the group, efficiently shutting them up.
"Why in the world would Lori want Jarah dead? That's bull, Rick!" Andrea was pissed off, that Lori's own husband would accuse her of something like that.
"It's not Andrea. Now calm down. We are not here to decide whether or not it's true. I am just telling you what happened. It is true. Both Lori and Shane confessed, that they indeed did try to get rid of Jarah. Lori convinced Shane that she was dangerous and had to go, so Shane went ahead and tried to shoot her. Jarah was able to get the gun from him and they fought, which attracted the walkers, because Shane was distracted by them Jarah was able to escape and hide out in the basement of another house." Rick explained.
The rest of the group was stunned, but not nearly as upset as Andrea. None of them have ever really trusted Shane and everybody knew that he had acted pretty crazy lately. What shocked them though was Lori's involvement. Andrea kept shaking her head, not believing a word Rick was saying.
"Why would she ask Shane to kill Jarah?" Glenn asked what everybody was wondering.
"That is a long and complicated story. Lori and Jarah's mother are cousins!"
"WHAT? How is that possible? Lori and Jarah didn't even know each other when she showed up here!" Andrea was near exploding again.
"Because they never met before. Jarah's mother was estranged from her family for many years." Rick told the group the whole story, behind Lori's decision to have Jarah killed, sticking to the basic facts and trying to keep it as simple as possible. The group still bombarded them with questions, wanting to know every little detail. It took almost an hour until it was quiet again, everybody's curiosity sated for the moment.
"Now you know,... I guess you have to decide for yourself whose side you are on, but the facts are clear. Lori and Shane wanted to kill an innocent women. And so far neither of them is showing any signs of remorse. They both think their actions were justified. Now we have to decide what to do with them. How to punish them. For now Shane is locked up in the stables and Lori in her room."
"You know what I think. Kill 'em both! They deserve it!" Daryl wasn't shy about voicing his opinion this time.
"We can't do that Daryl. Lori is pregnant. Kill her, you kill the baby. I am pretty sure nobody would be able to live with themselves after that." Jarah tried to reason with him.
"And killing them would make you just as much of a bad person as they are! We can't just kill our own." Dale told him.
"Really? But that's exactly what they tried to do. I say an eye for an eye." Daryl was seething.
"I don't want to be a part of this discussion. I am just going to say one thing. I want that Shane off my land! One way or another!" Hershel said while getting up to leave the room.
"What if we blindfold him and take him far away from here and leave him out on the road with some supplies?" Maggie suggested.
"You can't be serious?!" Andrea couldn't believe that they were now talking about getting rid of Shane. "No, I won't be a part of this. I'm out! Everybody knows that you've been wanting to get rid of Shane for a long time now. This smells like a conspiracy. He's been your best friend for years. Lori is your wife for God's sake and now you choose a stranger over them? No way, not with my help. If you get rid of Shane, I'm gone, too!" and with that the blonde left the room.
The room fell silent again. Everybody lost in their own thoughts, not knowing what to do.
"Jarah? What do you think should be done?" Carol had sat down next to her and was gripping the younger woman's free hand in hers.
"I don't know. We can't do anything about Lori except what Rick already did, keep her in her room. Shane... I really don't know. I don't think killing him is the answer. What Maggie said sounds good, but I'd be scared that he would find his way back here somehow and take us out in our sleep."
"Do you really think he would go that far if we let him go? Come all the way back to get revenge?" Dale asked, unsure if even Shane would do that.
"Yes. Before he tried to shoot me he told me that he was also planning on killing Rick. He wants no one to stand in his way of being with Lori and the baby. I am very sure he would do whatever it took to come back for her and take some of us, if not all of us, out." Jarah told him, leaving no doubt in Dale's mind that she was sure that it would happen.
"Then what other option do we have other than to keep him under arrest in the stables and have people watch him all the time?" Glenn asked looking at Rick.
"Yeah but Hershel wants him gone, Glenn. I think taking him away and leaving him somewhere by the side of the road might be the only thing we can do."
"Great. And then what? Wait around until he comes back and tries to finish the job? We'll be constantly looking over our shoulders, not just because of walkers anymore but because of that motherfucker. The minute you let him go, this farm becomes a lot less safe. Especially for the three of us and you know it." Daryl was still trying to convince Rick that killing Shane would be their best option.
"I don't think we'll come to a solution tonight. Let's just all go to sleep and think about it for another day or two. He's locked up, can't do any damage while he is in there." Rick told them before he left the room.
"Fucking pussy, still not able to make the hard decisions." Daryl muttered, causing Jarah to sigh deeply.
"Daryl stop. Rick is doing the best he can. Come on let's go to bed, I'm tired and really don't feel like talking about this anymore."
Jarah wished everybody a good night as Daryl scooped her up and carried her back to their room. She was very worried about him, he'd been different since they got back to the farm that morning. She hoped that maybe it was just the stress of everything that happened and it would pass in the next couple of days. She didn't know if she would be able to handle him being this tense and aggressive for a longer period of time.
She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She hadn't been able to rest all that much during the day and the painkillers were making her sleepy, not to mention the stress level that had been raised to an extreme high by the events of the past 24 hours.
Daryl didn't get that lucky. As soon as he closed his eyes the images of finding her in that basement bruised and bloodied and unconscious, started coming back to him. The wound on her arm, all the cuts on her legs, how her face scrunched up in pain every time Hershel's needle pierced her skin to sew up the largest ones. Once again being unable to take the pain away from her, almost killed him. Shane had made her suffer again. They couldn't just let him go scot-free. Daryl could feel the rage start to build inside of him again. His fists clenching rhythmically. Sleep wouldn't come anytime soon. It was time to blow off some steam.
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Shane looked up when he heard footsteps coming closer, an arrogant smile forming on his face when he saw who had come in to pay him a visit.
"Your bitch send you to rough me up? What, is she too afraid to come here herself?" Shane sneered.
"That's always been your problem, Walsh. You just never know when to shut the fuck up!" Daryl crossed his arms over his chest when he came to stand in front of the chained up ex-cop.
"Oh yeah? Neither does your little slut! You should teach or some manners, man! Or at least gag her real good next time you fuck her! Stupid bitch almost burst my eardrums!"
Shane's smug grin was quickly wiped off of his face by Daryl's fist connecting hard with his jaw.
"You don't fucking talk about her!" Daryl growled menacingly.
"Or what? You'll beat me up? I am so scared, Dixon! You know, too bad I wasn't able to take my time with her! Put her in her place! Unlike you, I would have been able to shut her up! Would have shoved my dick so far down her throat that she'd turn blue in the face! Man, that would have been a great way to off her!" Shane was taunting Daryl, and it worked.
Daryl saw red. He charged at the man and punched him with all his might several times, until Shane was near losing consciousness and blood was streaming down his face.
"I'm still able to make you shut up, Walsh." Daryl panted and unsheathed his knife. He made quick work of Shane's shirt, throwing the shredded fabric to the side.
"You wanna know how many cuts she got because of you? Twenty-three! I counted them all. Seventeen on her legs, three on her hands and two on her face. From what I can see, she only got you once. How about we even out the score?" Daryl fiddled with his knife, enjoying the fear that flashed in Shane's eyes for a brief moment.
He stepped closer towards the cop and got in his face. "Let's see how loud you can scream!"
Daryl pressed the tip of his knife into the skin of Shane's chest and slowly drew the blade from the left over to the right side, leaving a perfectly straight trail of blood to appear on Shane's chest before it started dripping down towards his stomach.
"You fucking piece of redneck trash. I'm gonna kill you! You and your little slut!" Shane screamed as the sharp burning pain shot through his body.
"Really? To be able to do that you'd have to survive the night! So far, I don't like your chances!"
Daryl was just about to make the second cut, when he was roughly pulled back, the knife getting knocked out of his hand.
"Daryl no! That is not how we do things!" Rick screamed, while he wrestled with the enraged hunter.
"He deserves it! You know he does. I want him to feel every bit of pain she went through!"
"I know Daryl, trust me I understand. But you doing this? It changes nothing. It might help you for a little while, but in the end, it's not doing any good. It's not helping anybody, especially not Jarah! Now, will you keep fighting or can I let you go?"
Daryl broke free of Rick's grip and went to get his knife. "Go to hell, all of you!" he muttered and shot the two men one last look before he left the stables.
He didn't go back into the house that night, preferring to hide out in their room in the barn. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep and he didn't want to risk waking up Jamie and Jarah by tossing and turning all night long. So he spent the night in the barn. Cold, alone and brooding. Thinking of ways on how he could keep his family safe in the future.
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The next morning he returned to the house. He went into the kitchen first to get the sippy cup for Jamie, so he wouldn't have to leave the two of them again later. He couldn't find it anywhere, so he asked Carol, who had just walked in, if she had seen it.
"Yeah, I already got it for them when we woke up!" Carol replied, looking at him none too pleased.
"We?"
"Yeah, I spent the night with them in their room. Jarah had a bad nightmare, woke up screaming for you. Took some time to calm her down, especially since you weren't here. You told her you wouldn't leave her alone, Daryl..."
Daryl froze and immediately felt like shit. He had promised her over and over that he wouldn't leave her side, that he would always be there for her and yet he had left their bed last night without even thinking twice about it, too absorbed in his want for revenge, when he should have known that it was very possible that she'd have nightmares and would need him to help her through it. He really was good for nothing, just like everybody had always told him.
"Shit,... she awake now?"
"Yes, she is. Go, they need you!" Carol could sense his hesitation and gently smiled. "She is not mad. She's not feeling well, though so whatever you do, try not to yell at her, okay? We all heard you doing that yesterday."
Daryl just nodded and went on his way. He dreaded facing her, because he was ashamed of his behavior. No wonder really, that she still tried doing everything alone. She knew she couldn't count on him. He kept telling her that he was going to protect her and then he just keeps leaving her on her own and then he yelled at her for it. He was a shitty boyfriend. He didn't know what she was even doing with him. She deserved so much better.
"Hey, there you are!" she sent him a tired smile when he finally had the balls to enter the room. She looked so pale and exhausted, Daryl felt ten times worse than before he'd come in.
"Hey,... " he took off his boots and laid down next to her in bed.
"Rick told me you went to see Shane..." Jarah told him after a moment of silence, "... do you feel better now?"
"No,... you mad?"
Jarah sighed deeply while she looked up at the ceiling, trying to think about what to say.
"Well, I'm not happy about it... But on some level I understand,... some sick side of me is even proud you did it. I would possibly wanna do the same thing if he would try to kill you."
"Proud? Really?" Daryl was surprised.
"Yeah,... No one has ever really cared about me or about what happened to me. Not enough to do something about it. And now, here's you. You really can't stand someone hurting me and that's kind of a first. Okay my ex cared, but not like you. You are so fiercly protective of me, of us, and it makes me proud that I can call you my man." Jarah blushed, hoping she had chosen the right words.
"Do you even want to call me that after all this? I can't do nothing right, wasn't even here last night when you had that nightmare." he didn't dare looking at her. He felt too shitty about that.
"Daryl, of course I still wanna call you that. Don't be so fucking hard on yourself all the time. People make mistakes. Sure it wasn't THAT nice to wake up alone, but I'm kind of used to it from years of practice. Also Carol came running in like her ass was on fire, so I was taken care of. No worries."
"Seriously? How can you be this calm again? Does anything ever upset you? Can't you just yell at me once? I think it would make me feel better!" Daryl just couldn't understand why she was so cool about everything. It made him feel even worse, that she just let him get away with leaving her alone in the middle of the night.
"It took me years to learn not to get upset over things I cannot change. At one point I just gave up and stopped raising my blood pressure to unimaginable levels by getting stressed out. It never helped anything. I never felt better after yelling and acting out. By now it takes a long time for me to be so upset about anything that I'd actually start yelling. So sorry, but no. I won't yell at you. At least not now."
"I don't get it, I'd start throwing things if I were you." Daryl muttered.
"Like my mother? No thanks. I don't know, I am just used to people breaking their promises and not doing what they said they would do. I am so used to it that it doesn't even bother me anymore. I don't expect anybody to keep their word" Jarah tried to explain once more, hoping he would get it this time.
"I don't want you to be used to me not keeping my word! I don't wanna be like everybody else in your fucking life." Daryl's temper was starting to flare up again.
"Daryl, I swear to God, leave it be. If you start yelling in front of Jamie again, I WILL kick your ass. That is the one thing I DO get upset over! What is wrong with you? You've been weird ever since we got back yesterday!"
"Whatever, I'm out of here!" he brushed her off and jumped out of bed to grab his crossbow and leave the room. Leaving an utterly lost Jarah behind.
Carol came in a minute later after she witnessed Daryl storming out of the house. She knew Jarah needed help with Jamie for a couple of days and with Daryl not around she decided that she would help the younger woman.
"Hey,... everything okay?" she asked upon entering the room. She could feel the tension in the room.
"I don't know what's wrong with him. One minute he is all shy and apologetic and then the next minute he suddenly starts yelling. I hope he won't keep it up. I can't deal with that all the time." Jarah was sad. She wondered what she was doing wrong for him to be like this.
"It's Daryl,... he'll come around. Probably just needs some time to deal with everything that's going on inside of him. I'm sure he blames himself for what happened to you. That he let you leave with them in the first place. Now come on, let's get this little guy ready for breakfast. What do you want him to wear?" Carol smiled, trying to distract her and get her to focus on happier things. She really hoped Daryl would be able to get his act together, because the two of them needed each other to heal.
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A/N: Thank you for reading.
NanamiYatsumaki, sillygabby, AngelJJK, katie93319: Thank you very much for your reviews. Like I've said before, I don't take the time you take out of your day to read and respond to this for granted. Every review is very much appreciated.
kaayrakoi: No hard feelings at all, I am very open to any kind of criticism. I hope it hasn't turned you off the story completely. i can assure you that the Bailey Armstrong thing is not a storyline. I consider it more of "background info" to put pieces together. It won't be mentioned anymore from here on out.