Chapter 25:
"Was the meal good," Star asked?
Even to Patrick, it was an absurd scene. She'd presented the giant with a hand-cooked breakfast that had Patrick's mouth watering. She'd sat there and watched as he ate it all. You might not have guessed that she'd caught Thor laying the pipe in some other girl, while she was laid up at home, pregnant. Thor had spent the previous afternoon and evening walking on eggshells around his wife, looking like a doomed man, and Patrick hardly blamed him. They'd been sent here to find information on the dudes that attacked their home. And they'd fucked it up. Literally.
Part of Patrick felt bad for Cerelia. Knowing what she'd been through, he'd been a little horrified about what she'd been made to do. With him. He felt a lot of guilt for taking advantage, even when she'd been the one to make moves on him. At the same time, well, what was he going to do about it? He was in hock with his wife too. Fionna was going to kill him. She was going to dribble his ass around the house and beat him to a pulp. If he was lucky.
As he watched and shoveled half-eaten food around his own plate, Thor responded to his wife's inquiries with, "it was very good. Thanks." Rising, Star smashed the plate over Thor's head in one smooth motion before heading for the door, throwing out a 'come along, honey' for good measure. Any thought that things were going to work out ok got dashed. With a sigh, Thor got up, dusted his jacket clean of jagged bits of the plate. Dabbing at the cut on his head with a napkin, he headed for the door too. They were heading across the sea to Lizard Kingdom today. Billy was there, working to shut down an invasion, and Cherry hoped to tie up with him and his crew. News that Nieve had been in Bormio had the Mafia Princess thinking that Bill might be right. Something wasn't right here.
Across the sea in Lizard Kingdom, Billy awoke to the soft feel of something teasing his pecker. After banging Hamest for the better part of two hours the previous night, he'd gone out like a light. Now Billy awoke with a start to find Hamest kneeling at his side–with her long tongue literally wrapped around his pecker. The sight of that blew the top of his head off, and he shot off all over her face. The Lizard Princess gave him a grin, which, given his goo was decorating her face, was a very nasty look for a Royal and did little to help his pecker go down. The slinky lizard-slut straddled his hips and climbed aboard, fitting his dong to her snatch and sliding down. Billy groaned at the feel of her hot oven as she engulfed him. "Morning, Billy," she moaned.
Outside, Lina Yuvchenko came strolling along through the early-morning darkness on her way to breakfast with her husband. She'd spent much of the night getting piles of iron sorted and set up to go into the smelter, fully intending to leave the lizards with at least two of her machines when they rolled out of here. The sounds of a woman getting her rocks off carried to her on the wind, and she had a pretty good idea of just who was getting rocked. The Royal Wives had said it. Play nice. It almost made her laugh. She might have if not for the sight that greeted her as she came underneath the Royal Balcony.
Lina was horrified to find Olesia sitting on a bench underneath the room where Billy was servicing the Lizard Princess, listening to that nasty old cougar's every squeal and cry of passion. The plump girl was staring up at the moon, wearing her wrap against the chill, looking altogether young and winsome. Drawing off her mask, the cyborg knelt there, whispering, "Olesia! Olesia, w-what're you doing?!" The plump girl looked down into her friend's eyes. "Waiting," she said. Nodding at the balcony, she said, "he'll be done inside soon. Then we can go." The Grid-Face person goggled at her in horror at that casual statement.
"I'm not upset, Lina," Olesia murmured. "I'm not. I love a man who's out of my league. It is what it is. Powerful women want him, and they have more to offer than I do." They had money and kingdoms and power. She only had her body. And while Billy seemed to find her attractive, that hardly seemed enough when there were kingdoms that he could rule if he chose. Unable to persuade the younger woman to leave with her, Lina ended up sitting there with her for the better part of half an hour as the sun climbed above the horizon, bathing the land in the pale light of fall.
Billy emerged from the palace to find the pair waiting on him, with Lina giving him a dirty look as if she'd been listening in. The big man did his best not to react. His dad played these things cool. He would do the same. He hadn't been up there pounding the shit out of the princess. He'd been... busy. That was all.
Striding up to the pair, he asked, "where we at? Did we get the iron gathered and melted down...?" "You're bleeding," Olesia remarked. Billy flushed to his hair. Hamest had clawed the shit out of his arms before he could stop her. She'd apologized. After the fact. It was a damning sign of what he'd been doing, though. Without so much as a by-your-leave, the plump elemental girl reached out and she channeled a tiny burst of heat into the two worst cuts on his arms, cauterizing them. "Th-thanks," Billy stammered.
Muttering swear-words in Russian, Lina stormed off, looking as though she wanted to grind his balls for powder. From laughing about this idiotic situation, she'd come around to seemingly hating his guts, and he didn't know why. "She gathered a lot of metal last night," said Olesia. "We can fix her original machine like you wanted, but there's enough to build a second machine if you're of a mind to strengthen their defenses." Trouble was, it would delay their departure.
Billy found himself torn. He'd admonished Hamest–and rightly–for not doing enough to protect her people. Would he be any better if he ran off with things half-finished? "Let's see how far we get," he said. "Then we'll look at this second machine..." "You shouldn't be embarrassed by circumstances you don't control, William," Olesia opined. Without another word, she turned and stepped off, heading in the direction her friend had gone. Forcing himself not to watch that swaying ass, Billy stepped off after her.
As Billy and his companions worked to fortify the Lizard Kingdom, the source of the drama sat in the private quarters of her airship, riffling through the papers she'd stolen from the Lizard Kingdom's library during the savage fighting. She couldn't read them, of course. She didn't have her late brother's facility with dead languages. But the pictures. The pictures fired her imagination. There were so many pictures. Detailed drawings of death-rockets, showing how they were fitted together and what they were made of. She could tell there were measurements contained in those papers–things that would let her dog build the weapons she wanted. Her imagination soared at the thought of mushroom-clouds bursting over the Candy Kingdom. She wanted Bonnibel Bubblegum to die, but she wanted the bitch to see all she'd created die first. Puffing on a licorice-stick, the evil woman turned to her minion and said, "bring that bitch up here."
The guards hustled out, returning in short order with the wax-woman's hapless patsy. Blargetha had been on this ship for days. She'd had some vague idea that they were on the ground, but she'd been confined to her quarters, with nothing to do but stare at four walls and worry. There had been moments where she'd found herself wishing she would wake up in her cell in Finn's dungeon. Now she found herself in the presence of her captor, and she dreaded what the bitch was going to say or ask now.
"Come here," growled the wax-woman. Blargetha dutifully shuffled forward. The evil creature blew a smoke-ring in her face and pointed at the documents on the table. "What do you think," she asked? Blargetha stared down at the papers a moment, fear crowding out thought in her mind. And then, she found herself goggling at what was presented with. "Th-this is it," she stammered. Frowning, Chelsea demanded, "not what you wanted?" "No," howled Blargetha! "This is it! These are the schematics I needed!" She started tearing through them, sorting them into piles right there before her captor's eyes.
It was an astonishing change to the wax-hustler, who stared at her prisoner in puzzlement. "Top-level," Blargetha murmured. "Ok, I've got top-level. I've got the propulsion subsystem..." Frowning, she glanced up, "where's the guidance package?" Chelsea glared at her. "Never mind," said Blargetha. "I can gin something up. This is mostly intact." "How soon," Chelsea demanded?! "Gimme a couple weeks," Blargetha replied. "I-I need to work up some metal samples..." "Ok," said the wax-hustler. "Two weeks. My men will get you whatever you need." The slime-bitch was unceremoniously dragged away then.
No sooner had she gone, than the phone rang. Puffing on licorice, the wax-woman flicked her phone open, "yeah?" "I hear you liquidated some of our assets," Peihong announced. Blowing a smoke ring, Chelsea replied, "s'cool. I got the drawings that cunt needed. Gave her two weeks to bring us some rockets..." There was a pause on the other end of the line. Finally, Peihong responded with, "I'd appreciate your keeping me in the loop." Rolling her eyes, Chelsea replied, "I had to move, and you've been out of touch."
She knew full well that Peihong was busy dodging Finn the Human in the east. It sort of played into her hands. She was free to pursue her own moves. Still, she needed to maintain good relations. For now. "I'll keep you informed of progress," she offered. Peihong hung up abruptly, leaving the little murderess pondering ways to be rid of her partner. And then, what was she upset for? She was closer than ever to vengeance. They all but had their rockets, and Billy the Human was walking closer and closer to her trap!
As morning gave way to afternoon, Billy's crew was in the groove, churning out the wire Lina needed for the second Fly-Swatter. Olesia and Tom took turns at melting batches of iron and other ingredients. As each batch got to the right temperature, Billy applied the Ice Tiara's power to solidify the result at just the right chemistry to work in the machine. Lina who was as much cyborg as she was living thing proved she might well have been more scientist than woman as she forgot her earlier outrage in favor of studying Billy, while he worked. In the interest of getting the machine built and not getting his balls cut off, Billy went along to get along.
Just now, the cyborg-girl and her chum were having lunch and chatting. Lina had cooked up something from home and served Leo a full plate. Billy had raided the palace stores and come up with some charcoal for Olesia and Tom, and now the plump girl sat munching away on coal while Billy himself basically starved as Lina hadn't bothered to offer him a thing. She was pissed, and he had no idea why.
Billy found himself watching the pair while he debated their next moves. The second Fly-Swatter was coming together fast. At the same time, finishing it would take hours they didn't have and maybe see them stuck here another night. He knew an extended stay would mean another night with Hamest and a whole lot more drama. Leo had made it clear what he thought, just as he'd made it clear he would do what he was told. They would all march, if Billy said to leave, but nobody was happy about the idea, especially considering what they suspected about the Muscle Princess.
As Billy's conscience battled his heart, a boat came over the horizon, traveling fast. This time of year, ships on the ocean were few and far between, and people gathered on the beach stopped what they were doing to take a look. The boat–ship, really–looked to Billy's eyes to be big enough to maybe be carrying troops. And that could be trouble. Issuing orders, the big man marshaled the troops to make ready. As the minutes crawled by, the tension rose. Olesia put aside lunch in favor of joining Billy near the water, standing danger-close with waves lapping almost at her feet. It was a scene that would have been touching in another time. The Stalwart Hero and his Devoted Lady. Leo wasn't sure if he should feel sad for the young princess or angry at what was going on.
The heavy barge pulled in close to shore, and Billy greeted them with a threat, amplifying his shouts with magic. The ship wasn't so large that it would be carrying an army, and he had plenty of Lizard-folk there to carry out said threat. Adding Olesia and Billy made it double-suicide. Leo stood ready to rush right in with the cavalry while Lina manned the Fly-Swatter. Against that formidable show of force, the newcomers mustered... a single skiff.
Billy got a sinking feeling as the boat rowed slowly to shore. The roads, the waves, and even the skies were treacherous enough this time of year that people shouldn't be traveling lightly. If this wasn't an invasion, it looked as if it might well be something even worse. He could feel Olesia's presence, close enough beside him that her heat was unpleasant. His dad had romanced an elemental. Finn the Human had gotten accustomed to wearing a tin-foil suit just to get a hug from Phoebe in the old days, and Billy imagined himself doing that. A twisted corner of his mind kept wondering if there were tin-foil rubbers out there somewhere because he still wanted to do Olesia Okonski. Or there are the meds, he thought. It was an ugly, dangerous thought, asking this young girl to do that to herself–so he could get his jollies. He should discourage what was clearly becoming an infatuation.
"Dammit," muttered Billy, as familiar faces hove into view. "You know them," Olesia asked? "Yeah," Billy replied, biting off a bitter curse. Indeed, the boat was now close enough for their visitors to hear them and answer. "Bill," Cherry greeted him. "Cherry," Billy replied, as Thor jumped over the side of the skiff with the rope. Captain of the Guard, but still somehow Cherry's dog. With a gesture, Billy froze the water around the skiff, holding the boat steady while his brother-in-law got the rope tied off. Cherry dropped over the side, while her manservant gathered up a pile of her junk. "Star," Billy greeted his sister. "Bill," Star replied.
He was more sure than ever that he didn't like this development. Star was getting a little big to be out and about. She certainly shouldn't be risking her ass in the wilderness like this. At the same time, he missed his sisters. The world of an adult had taken them from him far faster than he'd imagined. The minute his little sister was within reach, he snatched her off her feet and hugged her. That actually made the little nymph giggle.
"Ok," he said, as he set his sister down. "What gives?" Cherry gave him an ironic look. She could ask him the same. As Star began to explain what they were doing here, Hamest's carriage came roaring up. "Billy," howled the Princess, as she jumped down! "There's... Someone's stolen from my library!" Billy glanced to his stepmother. Cherry rolled her eyes. "Unsanctioned," she muttered. Royal entanglements were off the table at the moment. Something was very wrong here.
Telling Leo, Tom, Olesia, and Lina to work on the second Fly-Swatter, Billy got in the carriage with the Lizard Princess, his sister, and Cherry. As the carriage tore out of there, two figures who'd been ignored in all the excitement came strolling up the beach. "Master Patrick," Leo greeted the young wizard! "Well met!" Patrick didn't feel quite the same. He felt doomed. "What're you guys doing here," he asked? With a shrug, Pedersen replied, "fighting off raiders. Got pretty nasty. They hit a couple outlying villages. May have been some cannibalism." Patrick goggled at him. That made his problems seem like a dream! "C'mon," he said. "We're trying to build some equipment to keep these people safe." Nodding, Patrick said, "ok. Where can I pitch in?"
Meanwhile, Billy was headed up-town, briefing his stepmother on the way. Cherry was just as sharp as she always was. If anything, having cloned herself into a new body, the nasty little witch was even sharper. She was digging into things that Billy had seen in his travels north of Purple Kingdom. She dug into what he'd uncovered with the two raids he'd conducted and the men who'd attacked him. He could tell she saw things he hadn't seen, but she didn't share any of it. It was a little disconcerting for a man who'd been burned by her actions before.
But isn't that the point, he thought? While Fionna and Star had come to accept this woman, Billy had never really warmed to her. There was a debt of anger between them. Billy felt–still felt–that she had cost him his family. That had gotten moderated a little of late. He'd come to realize that a lot of the problem was JJ herself. His wife was evil. He could understand what his dad was saying about Cherry. Revenge was a powerful motivator. JJ wasn't working for revenge. She was working to sate the demon within her. Billy understood that. At the same time, he hadn't been able to cross that last bridge. He accepted that Cherry was part of their lives the same way he accepted that he'd become a polygamist, but he couldn't say he was really happy about either.
The carriage pulled up outside the Royal Library. There was little sign that anybody had been here at all. Which didn't make sense. He'd been thinking that a few of the raiders maybe got this far after getting over the wall or something. He couldn't really remember a moment where they had gotten over the wall, but things had been pretty crazy, and he couldn't really have told you what was going on in every corner of the city. He'd been focused on the big picture. The library didn't have the kicked-over look that he expected from a place the raiders hit. There should have been wreckage. There should have been bodies. Maybe why nobody noticed it before, he thought. There were no bodies laying around to attract attention.
Hamest and Star were first out of the carriage. Billy hung back as Cherry got down. "Level with me," he said. "What's going on? What're we really dealing with?" "The Thief King still haunts us, Bill," Cherry murmured. His head snapped down to hers. She was looking straight ahead at where Star was climbing the stairs with Hamest. There was a strange relationship there. Cherry loved Star like the nymph was her own daughter. This is genuine, he thought. "Penny set something in motion," Cherry murmured. "Something dangerous." "More than a few guys feeling their oats," he rumbled. Cherry nodded. As the Lizard Princess and Star reached the top of the library steps, the crime-boss murmured, "I don't know how deep the game goes. There's a reason your dad's stuck in the east. Keep your mouth closed on it. For now." Billy nodded. Motioning for her to precede him, he stepped off.
We're headed to a chaotic finish, with the Finn Family running towards trouble with the family patriarch out of the picture. Enemies inside the walls. Mystery armies roaming the wilds, and a target hanging from the backs of our hero's family. And who's going to break first?