I was at the park, lying down on the grass as I hear the ducks quack in the distance. A small breeze passes by me and I shiver. Why am I so sensitive to the cold? I try to cover myself by rolling to my stomach to cover my bare arms from the wind…damn you cute blouse from Forever 21! I then felt something covering me, blocking the wind. I looked to my left and saw that it was a black sweater. I got it and became very comfy with it. A shadow came across from me and then a body sat next to me. I looked up but the sun blinded me some, I just saw a shadow. It can be easily be seen that it is a male hedgehog.

"You okay, babe?" The male said. I smiled, looked for his hand and took a hold of it.

"I am now, S-"

I looked up when I felt someone kick me; how dare they disturb my daydreaming! I saw Rouge kicking me lightly.

"Those are some nice looking shoes." She said. I looked at her confused and I looked at Shadow. Wait a minute…is she trying to play with me like they were yesterday.

Suddenly, I saw Rouge squeeze both of my feet between her feet.

"Can you do a sit-up? Or are you still pretty weak in the stomach department?" Rouge teased. I pouted, she remembers my weakness. My stomach can expand when I eat but it cannot get smaller to do stupid sit ups. I looked at her as she still got my feet; at least she's acknowledging me.

"You're on!" I said as I prepared myself. I looked up as a crowd came around me. There was Rouge (duh!), Shadow, Ari, Jocey, Miri and Big.

"I bet she still can't…" I heard Ari say. I glared at her as I stood there looking at my feet.

"1…" I said as I tried my best to reach my toes. God, was that torture!

"Really?" Rouge said as looked at me.

"I did it! And you know I did!" I said. I did! I swear I did! It wasn't the best but hell yeah I touched my tippy toes!

"Barely…plus, your back is on the wall which makes it an even easier to do a sit up." Damn Ari and her truth. I looked up and glared at the weasel in which she just smiled in return.

"Come on, try again." Big encouraged…which I glared some to the poor cat.

"You should really work out, pinkie." I snapped my head at Rouge. She wants to play like that huh.

"Why don't you show me how to do a sit up?" I asked her as I went for the second one. The pain!

"Sorry, but there is a reason why a had an A all my life in P.E." she laughed as she saw me struggle. I pouted at her…I know she's trying to faze me.

"Don't pucker your lips," Rouge started as I pouted even more, "It's not like you will be using them on anyone soon."

My mouth opened up…Damn that girl. But I just shook my head and smile. Just like the other times. Just shake and smile. Just because you are the only girl left in your group, 17 years of age, doesn't give you the right to cry because you haven't gotten your first kiss. Just shake and smile.

I started to laugh and push Rouge some where she finally let go of my feet.

"Bitch," I teased. And we all laughed together. We all laughed. Me, Rouge, Big, Miri, Ari, and even Shadow. As I laughed I looked over at Jocey, she was staring right at me with a straight face. I looked away, my eyes are open books. And all I did was smile. And thankfully, the bell rang.

x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"So…?" Shadow asked through the phone

"So what?" I asked as I got comfy in my bed.

"So, did you like today?" I heard the hint of happiness in his voice. It hurt me some, especially since he didn't know.

"Hehe…of course I did!" I said, as cheerful as I could.

"See? I can balance my girl and my best friend." He sounded so proud as I rolled my eyes. His statement made me sting though, I wonder why?

"So how was your day?" I asked, changing subjects.

x-x-x-x-x-after some random blabber- (for people that hate blood or things that cause that [like me], sorry)…

"Hey… you ever think how it feels to feel the blood drip from your arm?" I heard Shadow. I cringed…I can feel the weird feeling I get in my arms and fingers when people say those words… cut, blood, pain…it hurts me more than the person thinking about it….i can feel it. And I hate it.

"No." I simply said. I randomly move my hands around, they can never stay put once that feeling is in them, as in they are trying to escape from the pain. (A/N: the feeling is true…I'm having a hard time writing this right now actually)

"I always wanted to. My veins always pop out, like if they are calling for me. They want to be split open by that sharp razor."He explained. My hands started to move all over. My mind went everywhere. What is he implying? Why is he talking about this? Doesn't he know the pain? I guess not.

"Sometimes I just want to control the pain like many have." That took me…right when Shadow said that…it took me to so many memories…

I don't know at what moment but I felt the warm tears on my face. I was silent though. I taught myself to be silent. But the tears were there. They were all there.

"The blood and maybe the pain going down my arm..." he kept explaining, but after that I couldn't hear him anymore. My arms cringed, the tears flowed down, and I bit the inside of my mouth to keep me quiet. My eyes were closed…so many memories. When Miri used to cut herself in the eighth grade. I tried my best to stop her, but I failed. So useless. When Christine started…I couldn't help her either. She looked like she was happy when she did it, how could I take her only happiness away? I'm so useless. And then Rouge. I thought she was never going to do it. She even said! She tried to help me stop Miri and was even ashamed of poor Miri…and then she does it as well two years later. I tried to stop her but I was useless. At least Mommy helped her. She is useful, but I am not.

I'm useless.

I am useless.

Useless…

"Amy? Ames? Hey, you there?" I heard Shadow say. I forgot about my phone as I looked at my side. I grabbed it and put my ear right next to it.

"Ames?" All I did was sniffle a response.

"Amy? What happened?" I sniffled again.

"Are you crying?" That got me. I started to cry even harder. I don't know why, but I just did. God, I'm such a joke. Such a sensitive bitch…a little cutting and it sounds like someone got killed.

"Sh, sh, shhh… don't cry. It's okay. What happened? Why are you crying?" Shadow frantically said. I couldn't respond, I just sniffled.

"Is it 'cause I was talking about cutting myself?" he asked. I sniffled.

"Was it?" I sniffled again at his question.

"Do you really care that much about me?" and once again, I sniffled at his question.

"Calm down, Ames. Please calm down, kay?" he told me. I tried to calm down but the after effect of the crying was getting to me. My voice was hoarse and I kept sniffling uncontrollably. God, I'm such a joke.

"Calm down, Ames. I'm not gonna do it, okay? I was just saying, kay." He talked slowly and sweetly to reassure me.

"I'm not going to do it, kay?" He told me.

"M-hm" it was the only thing I could say, or more so mumble.

"Shadow! Get inside now! It's late!" I heard Momma Hedgehog yell through the phone.

"Be right in." Shadow responded.

"I have to go, okay Ames. I'm not going to do it, so don't worry and calm down. Get some sleep, you need it for school." He told me.

"M-hm…" I responded again.

"I won't do it. See you tomorrow, Ames."

"Bye…" I barely mumbled and then hanged up. I stared at the bed in the darkness as my mind went everywhere.

Why would he be thinking about that?

Was it just thoughts?

Or did he really wanted to do it?

Would he do it?

If I didn't cry, would he have done it?

I started to cry again and it took me awhile to stop. I closed my eyes hard, so hard that I couldn't think of anything. And thankfully, I fell asleep. Thank you darkness.

{No ending author note! To the next chapter!}